I thought I would NEVER do this...

So, I am like, fine, the three women have chosen, so who will I take as their replacements, and see, the answers are already in my mind, and I am walking along, literally dancing, because NOW I get to leave, and everything will be finally going my way, and then, of course, I am trying to compose suitable... justification for my choices, and I realise one very... unavoidable aspect of my character:

NO WAY would I have butt-head in my sights and not kill him. If I shoot him, the flow of blood would release the... beast... in me, and with me there is no middle ground; I have tried to... control myself and be moderate, but the fact is, once one blow lands, I have to be torn free from someone, and that used to be done only by people I respected, but since I lost respect for people, who the fuck will make me listen to him/her?

I will never be able to... punish someone without killing him/her.


Whatever I said, if it happened that anyone stood against me, then whoever it is would have to fight to the death, because I never back down nor stop, unless whoever opposes me backs down.


The only option, if I want anything to do with the mother, it appears [and surprisingly...or NOT really... I DO want that] is to let him go... out of my sight.

Which is what I JUST decided. WHY?

Because she stood a few feet away from me, and I faced her, and she did not look directly at me but touched the back of her head, as if rearranging her.... French word for this, umm, coiffure... and it was at THAT moment I started drawing back.

She looked so vulnerable, and whatever it was, maybe because she reminds me in her silent way of my elder sister, the only person I ever looked up to, who for some reason or the other always went on tiptoe around me, the mother of the nephew I would have liked to take care of as my own... well, I guess I backed off and it took me this long to admit it to myself.

So, I do not know if what I thought I saw was really it, but if it is, I suppose I am offering the fool a chance to exile himself... for the... umpteenth time I guess... to Zimbabwe, and I will not hunt him down.

That is the best I can do.
Please, do not try me over this; I am teetering over the edge already, and if someone laughs at me this time, then I will flip for good, and will unleash all the anger I am keeping in check, and everyone will know what only I currently KNOW, about just how... fragile... every person's hold on life at this moment is, and the unlimited power I have at my disposal

Or maybe, everyone wants to see a... demonstration first, but then, look at it from my point of view; if someone can not listen to mere words, then it means that even if I should succumb to the pressure and show what can happen, I am therefore following the person's wishes, and as such not acting as myself, and my... GOD did say that His prime and only, requirement is that I be free, I be me, not what one wants me to be, and so, that is what I have decided to be, 100%.

if I make a mistake, it will be 100% MY fault. I know people want to have as a last recourse an appeal to God, like michelle used to do when, as I struggled to find the truth, she would calmly wait for me to show up in church and be instructed by an... emissary... of God, right?

Well, the time for such quibbling is over. I run this joint, and in case no one noticed, I will say it again: GOD DOES NOT ORDER ME to do anything, so that means NO ONE can tell me what to do. He told me I chose the type of world I want to live in, meaning that I get to fashion things as I see fit; as I like it, not according to anyone else's blueprint.


Keep that in mind because whether you like it or not, my day is dawning, and my sun will never set!

 

POINT?
I can NOT forgive, as some understand it
because if one scratches me, it never heals
nor do I forget, so, unless SOMETHING
is done, the raw feeling remains, which is why
I can not let bygones be bygones.

SO, unless someone wants to run the gauntlet and face me and go blow for blow
buckle under, and I will, like a Dobermann
piss over you, and be satisfied, because then the
threat will be
Neutralised
 OR IT IS WAR UNENDING
or rather ending.

with the party's destruction

                        they dont change we gon do sumtin about it
or rearrange we gon do sumtin about it....

.

.

.

                           Co'  eat fir wan fir eat or wah
                      co' fir Ghana fir go gun dem or wah
                        Zimbabwe fir go send them or wah
                          Or Gambia fir gun dem or wah....

                      co' fir Fort Knox to lock them or wah

co' fir same time fir ask them or wah
co' fir same time as we mask them or wah

co' fir tree landing fir landin or wah
yo no go insult me again

while fir me government gun dem or wah

violate the youth and burn them or wah

Straight as an arrow thats the way that we chose
gangster nuh innocent chichiman pause

girl dem with the balance and the hips  nuh suppose
could have been supermodel are whores



Girl alone me want girl alone upon me resume

with so many pretties see me bitches every other day...

Nothing New

Since the redhead and the blonde ladies that I have seen on the train, and been impressed with, I have decided that there would be no more 'new' women, but would fill my ... quota ... from the women from the immediate past.


like the Dutch girl, which leaves [if one does not dis-regard the three from Nicky?'s side] three women, but then there is the diving girl on  Women's Day that I was... jealous over.

Then of course, still on the beach, the kimono-clad girl with the dog, which I kicked...phew, what an ass, and those legs!

What about the other tall girl the day after, at the library, the 911 [am] girl?

Should think I am done with the women.

All that is left is to see whether the three women who, if I come... no WHEN I come... to the Simonstown Backpackers will otherwise be under my , not so friendly... microscope... maybe they want me to let their brother/son totally off the hook?

Well, my MOTHER is NOT off the hook:-if I see her she dies on the spot, so, my point is, just how the fuck must I let a... stranger have his way, after insulting me so... blatantly?

Fuck, if he was not so pitifully small he would be dead already, so, where does that leave everyone?

But the Moto Mia guy gets at least that impertinent finger broken... at least. He could fight me, and thus make my day, because I would then systematically rip him apart, and THEN kill him.

(there is a part that goes, by sean paul)
Well I dont need a lawyer coz there wont be a case
forget what u see know your life get your place
I'm the  dapper dutty down inna the base
I'm about to show you what respect really is

punk you know nothing

now I know u really think u clever

but u cant stop me style them never

real push button

start if y ready fir whatever

tell me if u heard of me ever...

This is a far cry from... love... right?
but hey, I am a single track person, who can not switch into two different modes... as I said last week, every person's ... life... is only going to continue subject to my... approval, so THAT cuts through a lot of red tape, do you not think so?

Hey, if a woman is NOT biddable and beddable, then she is of no interest to me, at all. NOW, if these women who are, uniquely in a position where they get to... choose... either to be like michelle whose aim was to 'stop me in my tracks' or to do as i say and thus not delay me from going on, well, they get to choose, right, and then I seal it, because I hate grey areas, I want to KNOW just where they stand, see? One by one, individually!

Not so... Fast

I had said that  my heart was now... at rest, but it only took me getting to Simonstown to realise I am kidding myself.


Thought of the Dutch girl, [fuck, some president is going to have to transport her from her homeland and bring her to me when I want her. No way I will let HER go]whom I dismissed as having come and gone, when, if one takes the issues as they really are, it took michelle insulting me for me to... call aloud for women.

Why did I not just deal with her? because in truth I do not want to kill her, just jilt her.
I mean, she would NOT be the first woman I had... done harm to, and in every situation I had come unscathed, walked away because, surprising as it may sound, I AM indestructible, and the only reason I have ever been under any... influence... is that I allowed it to happen, I allowed myself to fall sick, allowed myself to put myself in harm's way, and yet, at the crux of it, I always walked off like the ... ropes... were mere cobwebs and could not bind me.

NO, for the first time where someone was concerned, with michelle I wanted REVENGE and that is what I set out to get.

Same as I do not really want to kill butt-head, because he is not, say, Chuck Norris.
I mean, come on, it would not be as if, even if he had a sword, a gun and a Kevlar vest he would be any match for me, because when I enter any situation especially in anger, the first thing that happens is people get... terrified, because if they do NOT, I get unrestrainedly violent. Like the reason why I told his mom off:- because the last time I saw her as she drove past, I stared at her, and she recoiled so much I had to... come back to myself... if you get the drift. If she had not, I would probably be getting ready to kill the whole brood.


of course, when it is all said and done, I will, if the people agree to sweeten things for me so that I am NOT as angry as I was before, I will only shoot him in the leg and he can go to Zimbabwe, and die there, when all else do.

As for the sisters, let me say that when we met, and THAT is where I base everything, they did not behave as... arrogantly ... as I thought they may.


So, fuck, why should I kill them?


In fact, when I think of ... things... in 2021 the ... 'kids'... I have included with their mothers would STILL be below 20, which for me is still... kids... not women, which means technically I will still have, if I go with these; 32 women.

Somebody read between the lines, because I have no intention of becoming senselessly violent, especially as I have acquired a... grudging admiration... for Nicky?'s mom, but NOT as a mother, but a woman, especially since yesterday she kept her tail between her legs and did not venture to try to... stop me in my tracks... or to distract me, and her sister HAS a nice ass, and she herself DID lean forward, not like both butt-head and michelle did [and astonished me by the fact] by leaning back as though someone had strapped their necks to the seats when I turned to focus on them.

Called MY sphere of influence, that, where everyone reveals what is in their heart when I am... curious.


Oh boy, come on people, do not make me DO this!These people who are in my cross-hairs are not even proper competition, I would not even be proud of having killed them, and I have decided I would do only the impossible. Fuck, MUST I kill people?!!

Full House

Before filling in the gap as far as the last... entrant... is concerned, I will mention the two I had... doubts about, and as promised, rope them in.

The first was the one I described as the "sexy divorcee" although it turns out she probably was not married to the guy anyway and she was coming out of court, with a lawyer, when I first laid eyes on her. The lawyer himself was a tall, dry bald-headed man with the trademark flowing robes, but what stuck me as weird as the fact that the lady was, with him to the right, seemingly glued to him as they walked up to the  S/Town library parking lot where the guy had his car parked.

Lady was acting all shaken. Like she was beyond terrified.

I took it bad, because I assumed, with the blame-it-on-the-black man syndrome, that I was somehow responsible, especially as the dame had tried to pull the front of her blouse/shirt out from under her black jersey/sweater and cover, unsuccessfully, the... area of prime interest. So I had a less than open mind as I saw her walking up,  though I had to admit I had NOT seen an hips ( and later an ass) like hers before, on a white lady.


As she got to the parking lot, the mean motherfucker ex-boyfriend/lover/father-father-of-her-son went for them, while I stood back, and watched. The lawyer in a quivering voice that he was making trouble for himself, that they already had a restraining order against him, and when I heard THAT, with memories of my own last girlfriend (ever heard it said that  only the whores know police  numbers and laws ins and outs, euphemistically labelled... 'rights'?)I said to myself, she probably deserves all she gets, because all women are the same.

Acted as if she heard me, because she turned,body towards me would not move at all but just stood there as the guy went beserk and the lawyer tried to pick up his scattered papers.

The mute appeal made me react without conscious thought, because if I had thought about it, I would not have acted at all, what with memories of my own mother appealing to me to do something to my dad... and as I moved one step towards the guy, he, although towering over me, backed off, and went back to his bike.

Tried later to get him to insult me so I would have probable cause for GBH, what with the police nearby, but he would NOT fall for my 'guileless' act.

But when the lady finally got in back of the lawyers van, and left me with a feeling that gees this was one sexy lady when will I ever see her again, she kept her face reolutely turned paartly my own, as if, more than what had just transpired, she was worried by what I thought about her.


By that time I had no idea about my having been set apart from birth, about my ... voice... my companion. So, all the actions that people did around me surprised me.
 
the second was the blond lady I saw the other time at the 'art shop', wheeling a pram, who started smiling as she walked past, then turned back and came to ask me and the guy I was with questions about the work, when she clearly had not even looked at anything and her smile was more than just curious.

When I mentioned her son {must admit, white kids are hard to tell genderwise, although she did confirm it was a boy} as I tried to... bring her back to earth, her smile faded, and she seemed to withdraw, and turned abruptly away, and went and started conversing with the other tall blond guy who seemed to have been lingering far behind her.


The verdict is that, apparently, there are certain women who, because they are NOT so... steeped into the conventions as everyone else, find it easier to... listen... to me and hear me even before I say a word, and act as though I have spoken orally.

These women are the ones who have given me rest in my heart, each in her own way.


Now, about the "jumping girl" who leapt over the wall at the fisherman's hut: when I saw HER at the bach, walking in front of me, I was taken in by her wide hips, and the way, as hse tried to pick her way through the sand, they swayed sideways and up and down, and when I took in her khaki... briefs... and her blond hair which was tied back and drawn out through a cap that covered all of her forehead, I thought how different life was for some people, how if I walked barefoot and dressed as negligently as she had on the beach, I would probably end up in trouble, and I ended up thinking, yeah, she would never give me the time of day, so I passed them by and went and lay down in the darkened hut.
Not even thirty minutes later, a stick is forced into the place, and when I get up, incredulous, the girl runs off, almost falls backwards as she tries to run up the sand and over the wall of the station, with one hand on the leash of her dog, a formidable German Shepherd, and when she gets on top of the wall, she drops down the almost two metres to the ground and then has to carry the timorous dog over, because it would NOT leap over.


When I get up, thinking that for the crime of having scared a white woman I am going to have to answer to the cops, I find her on the other side of the station, a bakkie parked, and a tall guy with her, and the guy sort of nudges himself away from her and I look at her and while she did not stare directly at me, but looked off in northely gaze, I could have sworn she was laughing silently, as if to say, well, I did it!


Then comes the last one that I mentioned a bit yesterday.


For days I have been seeing her in the second carriage of the train, and while I was from the start appreciative of her looks {she is quite pretty, and has a face that I was smitten with on sight} I had doubts that she would ever look at me twice, really.but two days ago she stared at me, and away, and back, as if wondering if I was even noticing HER

then, yesterday, she stunned me. Instead of the normal tied back hair, she had her hair loose, had applied makeup, and she was looking so ravishing it took me aback. Then, as she did not make eye contact... at least not to my satisfaction... and I was just rubbishing eeverything, she then casually took out a book {I always carry a book around for reading in those dull moments} and I knew she had noticed me, that she was dressed up for my benefit.

LIKED IT.


Those are the 39.


God, I am done!

Still... in Darkness

Because my Friend wont let me walk away

                         Till I exact my... pound of flesh

This is, broadly a warning to butt-head that this Christmas, if he is lucky, and i am in a not-so-bad mood, he will get to re-learn how to walk, or be pushing daisies.

This is how all this came about:
So, I am working out just WHERE it is I am going to gather my women together, and I rule out a hotel because for so long I have had others ... catering... for me when I want to eat what I like. I think of a mansion, but then, it is all too far-out, too out-of-my-control.


then, because I am horny, and remembering the LAST time I had sex, which is way back in May, and how i pissed Sam off by taking this chick into one of the VIP en-suite rooms and spent the night with her,  and failed to get him to confront me, but had him tell his boss, guy called Kenneth who runs the Simonstown Boutique, and whose employee there, guy called Ricardo, saw me later that day and told me that Kenneth wanted to see me but he did not know what for, and I went up, saw the guy had him say, whats up, to which I replied, I was told you wanted to see me, and he goes, yeah, what did you do to Sam? He was pissed, to which I replied, well, I took a girl into one of those en-suite rooms, to which he goes, well, so you owe me R450, and we both stare at each other then he goes, you can work it off, and which I probably would have except for the fact that he did not want me to start right away but a week later. Now, gimme time to reflect and you lose. Found out that I would do the same thing over and over agin, without remorse, so I did not show up to the work, which would have lasted two weeks with the first three days unpaid.

Met Kenneth plenty times afterwards, and never deviated, stared him in the eye, and waited for him to bring the matter up. Didnt, so, well, fuck him. Anyway, thingking about THAT made me realise that the ONE place I would be comfortable with, after people start dying and all in Khayelitsha and Harare, would be Simonstown Boutique. So, the Western Cape Premier or zuma use whatever political discretion they have to... persuade ... Kenneth to exit the place, and I take it over, and prepare for the girls.

Besides, even as I see that girl with the glasses and cute ass who caused the other blonde chick to intervene, right at this moment, I see that it will take a .... profound... amount of bullying on my part to get reality shaped the way I want it. So, reality gets a beating, as soon as I am done planning. Like an unlimited credit card left in the place after whoever is checking has confirmed Kenneth has gone, so that I shop for clothes and stuff without having to make every act of mine known.

Now, how will Sam take that? Or Kenneth? Will he still want to see Sam? And, if Sam is fired, will he be stupid enough to come back to Simonstown, where if I bump into him I WILL kill him? Interesting, yes? YESSS!

Now, being smack across from the OSC, waking up every moment to face them like the rising sun means, of course I will NOT be able to just... forget, right.

So, I deal with butt-head, and do so with impunity. Either he dies, or he gets crippled, whichever is more in keeping with the moment. Then I will deal with the females, before or after I leave. However it runs out.


But, that is NOT the piece-de-resistance.


The thing is, bully I may be, God may be in charge, but I run things here, something which is only becoming apparent NOW.

For example, God NEVER said anything about the number of women; if He says anything, it is all common-sense, and that is, for example, common-sense to assume that the women would not take kindly [fragile egos and all] to me seeking women after they are there.

He did not come up with the number 25:- I wanted things ... square. But I did come up with a number that I said would suit me, a number that would also suit the surroundings:- 39.


At present, there are counting the kids, 31 women.

After all night and morning working it out [I can not sleep] I have come up with 37. two are left, but I am confident that by tomorrow the two doubtful ones will be in the camp so that I can then say, "NOW, God, let things rip loose!", and have everything go... kaboom!

So, the women that have gathered my interest so far are these, to add on to the 25 adults:

26 The blond girl I saw at Sunny Cove Station that Saturday, and I STARED and she smiled exposing her bottom teeth [ a sign of one prone to fear, using the smile to not... intimidate...] I had dropped her because I had initiated everything, which I thought was NOT allowed. Yeah, right!


27 The lady at the internet cafe in Simonstown, who greeted me with a 'hi, how are you'. Well, it is not what she said but how she said it, like someone who has met a close friend. Now, I am what would be termed 'reality challenged', so, like a miser hoarding his gold, I tend to watch carefully what people do arround me, to see if it is based on fact. Woman's behaviour was, to me weird,  so, I would like to explore it some more with her.

28 This lady showed up last month as i was basking in the sun outside the libarary, on a day when people get their 'All-pay' {coz i was talking to some happy Valley guys that had come to Fish Hoek Hall to sort out their monies} and she went in, maybe to the Ladies, then came out, and she did another weird thing. She sat down on the pavement, put her toddler daughter down, and engaged me inn conversation, about the book I was reading and my waiting. Told her I  about the Goldbach Conjecture, seemed saner, then her hubby or... significant other... showed up. Irealised the cause of her weariness and why she had so to speak, come to shelter under my wing.


29This lady was from last year. I wrote about her, how she flipped the flap of the carpet that I used as a screen at the hut, and then leapt like crazy when I moved to investigate, and jumped over the wall, into the train yard, and then over that, and stood on the road. Just stood there and caused me to wonder, especially as she had a guy with her and the guy sort of nudged her away while she stood there and smirked.


30. This lady is from the train. Stays in Simonstown. The other day, while admiring the red-head, I stared at her and saw that she had a... comfortable face. Was dressed in blue uniform,  well, more later! But I saw her today, liked what I saw. Blonde, of course!

Now I... Enter

Behold, your King cometh, humble and lowly...

but not for long

When michelle first started getting her hooks into me to try to get me interested my curiosity was piqued, especially by her 'non sequitar' way of getting me to come to church. When I finally DID go to her church and found out that she was a mother... I found myself in a world I had never quite anlysed but carried around like a bird with a broken wing, born crippled and never having flown at all, taking everything that happened as ... normal.
I found myself dealing with issues of... motherhood, especially focusing on the things that made me act so like a person with a rope around him, which when yanked made me stop being the insular, detached person I always was when dealing with anyone else... but my mother.

But, as everyone else knows who reads... me... God had promised,  

"September 18: Independence Day"

 and when she and I sat across from each other, I looked into her eyes and saw her for what she was, and also I found out that I could not , with her, carry on the guilt of being born so far that I would let HER walk all over me... and immediately... I started setting the pace, something she obviously did not expect; I mean, after all, in her eyes I should have been GLAD she was doing me the favour of publicly humiliating me by displaying me like a monkey in a circus... yes?

Then came the incident that made me respond the way I did when God, after I had complained that I was just stuck in the same place and not doing anything but wait on women, said, "Tell Me what you want from Me" in the vision where the flying ark thing with the bat wings featured.

This was way BEFORE the date of January 8-9.

I am convinced that, if it had not happened, I would NOT have though about it at all, and also, the good thing about it is that I wrote it already before,  but the thing is, I was NOT sure, since what happened happened before the vision date, whether... the lady in question... would...qualify.

So, I get on the train at Sunny Cove, free, of course, and get, of course, into first class, and immediately, being appreciative of female flesh, I seek a seat where there is likely to be eye-candy in view.

There is [this was last year, about November, or early December]this girl I sit across from, but not really in her face, and she is dressed ...minimally... to put it diplomatically.
But then, it is summer, so anything goes.
Strapless bra-top, I suppose; black, and black...well, one would call them shorts, but they would classify as briefs; and she has white earphones in her ears, with whetever she is playing hidden in her purse, and her hair is tied back behind her head.

Perfectly ordinary person, except for her colour.
Thought she was tanned. Thought she was NOT white, but one can NOT hide the white fine bone structure, and when I look at her, and her eyes and her hair all seem to be the same blended hue, I am first of all surprised, then skeptical, then dismissive:- I am thinking of the depths to which certain women would go to to alter their appearance.
Girl stuns me. She cranes her neck, syiffens actually, and by her body movement (she pushes her breasts out) dares me...nuh... commands me, to not just dismiss her out of hand.

I look at her briefly, then come back to earth; she is, after all, a woman, and I would get the sharp end of her tongue for staring, so I take out a book, and try to start reading.

Deliberately,she removes her earphones, drops them into the purse by her side, takes out a book, and all without looking at it or at me; riffles through it:-she holds one end with all the pages and presses her finger hard against it so that all the pages fly from one cover to the other.

Well, that is rude, and I look up at her face, ready to growl a warning in case she is making fun of me. the look in her eyes is as of one who is in lion territory, and as I stare at her I find out that the one thing I was afraid of would NOT happen:- this girl is in NO mood to yell at me.

I relax, and then I look at her closely.

Now, I know nothing of tanning, or of beauty treatments, but I suppose one can not get even tan ALL OVER... at least from what I have seen firsthand!

But this chick is totally, evenly toned all over, and now, what intrigues me is that she is not only allowing me to look to my heart's content, but also that she is NOT used to people NOT laughing at her (judging by her refusal to let ME be one of those who just point fingers and walk away) when they see her. All I see is a normal chick, who does the abnormal thing by not taking into account certain glaringly obvious things that have ruled my life so far, not only colour, but also my side view.

Fuck, I am ugly, and when I get a chance to see myself sidewise, I get a shock.

Well, this one doesnt really show how ... deep under... my eyes are, but then, one gets the idea.

Anyway, the train stopped at Simonstown station, and I got up, and made to walk away, without a backward glance.

Girl wouldnt have it. Outside the station, the girl walked right under my arm, cut from right to left in front of me, and walked towards the beach.

I followed her... I was already staying at the fisherman's hut, and when I got to the sand, she slipped off of her briefs;- turns out she had blue panties underneath, and she lay on the sand. I went to the hut, to show her I was nothing, changed, and came back after a while, tried to talk to her. that is when she did the knee-jerk reaction I wrote of, and stunned me.

At least she got her pint across: she is naturally like that.

So, the first becomes the last.

Now, I turn my back on everyone else.

House Cleaning

After what happened on Saturday here at the library, which took me some time to assimilate, I had to come down to earth about everything, and about where I am headed.

What should have been 'Action week' turned into a piss-poor performance, and caused me no small loss of humour as everything just went south, but, after I got my head screwed on straight, I decided to do the... obvious, and  after everything, get to the point where  God can say, "Speak, friend, and enter" as He shuts the door.

Saturday:
Some days before, I had been outside the library, basking in the sun and I saw the librarian lady I spoke of coming from a ways off, and, because the whole thing is ridiculous [what do I say to her, "hi, I am the guy who is going to take you and your daughters and destroy the world but you will live forever so lets get to know each other"] I looked away, and stared at this other girl who was walking ahead of her, not because I was interested but because I was not sure of my ground.

She walked past. I walked into the library opening time, she was nowhere to be seen. Ditto same day. Then the next. Started thinking about the OSC 'oversight committee' in Simonstown, wondered if it had gotten here as well, but I put it all out of my mind.
Saturday, got to the lib. late in time for the second session, and there she was, visible. Sat at the end, because, nearest the counter, facing it, because the computer there was the only free one, and started posting, yes?

Some time later, she leaves the counter, and walks my way, stops a bit near me as if to orient herself, then goes to the bookshelves behind me, and it was only later that I realise something significant;- the lady has a very fragile ego, her sense of self worth is very low; she thought I was preferring the other girl  to her, and my being late may have eased her somewhat?

Anyway, from that tme on it was settled that I would NOT be looking for other women, after I leave.

I looked at the vision of the silver spoon, and worked out that the one being  'born' to rule was... me, meaning I left my childhood 'hanging on my mother's whims' and started ruling, but based on 25 women that had made a... man of me. All of them had to be women I would NOT have to run after, women I would have easy access to, women who would have to be... locally available, and ... prone to wanting me. Women I would take at one time and have no other.

That being so, I ended up rejecting five out of the so far twenty-four, and replacing every single one of them, but I STILL havent gotten to the 25th.

The Pastor, Karen. God never said He would... rip Out His spirit up on all flesh, but ...pour... so it means that dislodging the holy spirit will NOT be a day's job, but a continous struggle, and anyway, having a woman who will speak gibberish and go on an on about the equality of man and woman would irritate me. I have replaced her with the lady I spoke of on facebook, but since I am barred there, [which means the FIRST thing to go along with obama is facebook, so NO ONE will go there], I will speak about her again here;
The Dragon- girl: I was working at the art shop when this girl, dressed like a witch in balck from head to toe, walked up with a guy and another girl. She bought a dragon, but the maker said it was not yet finished, he wanted to bead the 'horns' and so she said she would come back later. She did, he was still not done so she stood next to me and we had the following conversation, with me starting:
  "I take it you are not from around here"
  "I am a Capetonian" -direct look
  "born and bred?" -skeptical
  "yes"
  "well, you do not have the customary arrogance of capetomians" 

"Thank you"... after a pause.  I was floored, because it is unthinkable for a person of a certain race to accede that the comments of a person of another race are not derogatory and to be taken at face value. hell, this refreshing chick is a great welcome to the black hole that is michelle...ever taking in and giving nothing out, except when she thinks you have dis' ed her. Well, fuck her, actually, not even that. I am conscientious about where I put my dick, certainly NOT in diseased places.



The shop lady Well, after Solomon, and the incidental knowledge that someone was interfering in what I am doing {OK,  here this from me now. I decided that I would focus on LEAVING first, but I will certainly NOT just walk away. Michelle deserves punishment; words are nothing, so does Nicky? and butt-head. Now I am seriously pissed with the mom of the last pair, because she thinks by interposing herslf she will let matters roll away. NO. I have made up my mind that the least thing I will do to butt-head is to kneecap him and send him to Zimbabwe... if I do not decide to kill him out of hand and send him to hell. Now, the last time she irritated me by interfering. I backed off, because I was getting nowhere. However, she does it one more time, when I get back, then I WILL kill her, because her being a mom is NOTHING to me. I willdeal with those who have insulted me as I see fit, and will NOT be interfered with by anyone, because I DECIDE WHO LIVES OR DIESand will brook no interference from anyone. Her daughters? I will think of what to do TO them, if I decide NOT to kill them, but as for michelle, I am just waiting for the opportunity that she may present, just ONE step out of line and I will kill her... horribly. BUT< as I said, I made up my mind that my departure comes first, and anyway, if I hurt some women along the way, what I do is I... kill them, so that they may know that I have NO remorse. Or rather, God kills them, as I said on Saturday}I saw that just a well-preserved face was NOT what I was interested in, so I dumped the woman, and took the fast car girl... you know, the one I wrote about who... smiled, whom I rejected, because I was not sure of my gorund as vision-wise? hell, the girl smiled at me, same as the blue eyed woman at the library when I was irritated by the short-ugly -girl returning her DVD.

The Dutch girl, who came and left. Saw this other chick some time past, in red, with gorgeous legs, blonde, who welcomed me one day with 'library opens at half-nine' when I walked in, then started calling a guy to fix her car, as she had 'cabin-fever'. Saw her the next day, and she had a little girl with her. Daughter? hope so. coz she would come too.

German girls. replaced by Carol's sister, who has a daughter also, and also the girl I met first at Simonstown library and then later at theGlencairn station. Wrote about both in COUNTING NUMBERS.

Here we go... AGAIN

THIS IS GETTING TIRESOME

All started with me taking into account the fact that this guy... called Solomon... had been, some two days ago, right here at the Fish Hoek library the day after I had said I had my eye on the lady who together with her... significant other... runs the memorabilia shop , where my fellow expatriate stores/stored his lion, and where he also stands in for them sometimes.


What a coincidence, right? The guy was seated scarce two metres away from me and hell, he looked like he was about to faint... and immediately my thoughts went to the... oversight committee.


but I let it go, and yet, when I was regurgitating my post of yesterday, I could not help laughing, because, of course, knowing michelle and her propensity to assume that I change; she would assume that I meant I had changed my mind when I was on and on about re-pentance.

So, let me eduacte the bitch, because if she, for one moment thinks I will have her near me, she had better be prepared for the last rites for her last wrongs, because she ever show up in my section, she will be... the late michelle pereira, as I promised her I would do to her... although, of course, things being the way they are, everything that I say 'at once' has to take 3 days to be beyond change, because my eye is ever on God, see, and if he agrees then it happens, but if not, He will point out where I am deluding myself. And wait for me to make proper changes

 

 

The fifth letter is the one that has to do with 'repentance', because it is a pictogram depicting a man standing with a hand outstretched
meaning, since the man would be with his back to the screen
that he is ruling what is on his left, i.e.
finding out what the...of course...

woman, 

is thinking as well as having dominion over her.

Since I have NO interest in having anything to do with michelle, as we started off on the wrong foot, with her thinking herself  not only better than my equal, but my superior, I of course have to have these women who each are better looking than her [beauty IS in the eye of the beholder] and also healthy [couldn't resist] , I would be an idiot to not want to have these women with whom I would start as I intend to carry on... as lord, as their ruler, the one who... divines... their thoughts.[I have to make a correction about one girl, the one I said probably works at St, Luke's hopspice shop?. Saw her today, and she must work at Engels and ...whatever... and she was a bit of a surprise to me because there are two who look a bit alike, but she is the one with a dark ... mole... just above her upper lip, to the right]

Not to mean I am not interested in the other twenty, hell, they are all under the same blanket, although there is a bit of a change.

See, I have not met some of the women I had included, like the model, the actress and the Jordanian girl, all of whom I would probably reject out of hand if I met them 1v1.

So, the thing is, I have dropped these, and will at least keep it all simple, and there will be one black of me and twenty-five white of them... and, obviously, many more though how many still remains to be seen because if I do travel, I will expect something for my labour, in the form of pleasing women.

Unfortunately, there are at present 24 women, and I lack one, which is why I wrote, 'here we go again', since until they come to an end I can not start.

I need a woman, I am short one.
In my walk today I have not met one, so I suppose she will have to announce herself, and THEN, as soon as she does, disaster for everyone will start, like the thing with obama first, then while everyone is reeling, the south african revenge, and if zuma does not heed THAT, then Soweto and every major ghetto in South Africa will be crushed, but if he does, then, while I wait to depart, every place that has my enemies will experience a freak ... Act Of God... where more people may die but specifically those enemies of mine, like in Capricorn and all those areas, except of course, Simonstown. There I want a hands on thing, with the deaths of the people I want dead, by my own hand, first... unless of course, there is a miracle between now and tomorrow when 3 days are done.

 

A breathtakingly beautiful woman just walked in now, accomapnied by her daughter, and all I see is that she has a top which... fuck, I can do nothing because she did not notice me, and I will never run after a woman.

Heck, one has NO idea how much I want to leave!
 

 

 

booty bags topping like twenties in a line
when I give it to her shorty know how to bring it back
we be banging on the beach sometime we are relaxing
girl peel out your blouse and your tight jeans
let  me lick you down dip you in some ice cream
holla holla my name when I slide in
thunderstorm rain sleet and lightning

.

.

.
it like that make you clap now!

 

Going Ballistic

It is settled then, the people I said are due to die have, significantly, just signed their death warrants, and NOW, I can move on, YESSS!

Now, if you thought THAT video was something, look at what is at your doorsteps NOW, people.


Now, I NEED to get out of here, YES?. More to the point, I need some kind of hold over people to get my ass moved from here to Alaska, and the ONLY way to do that is to force the unthinkable into reality:


First comes the utter decimation of Khayelitsha and Harare [should never have killed my fellow people], after which even the pigheaded Zuma will be more than willing to  pay respectful attention to my... request... for a suitable hotel to gather the 25 women I have selected so that we can get... acquainted... while the other places, like USA [obama] and Alaska and all those other Christian sites et.c. get totally razed to the ground... permanently.


Speaking of 25 women, there are actually 2 of them on the other side of the ocean, so it makes no sense to have them with me when I will travel over there anyway,so I will have to have 2 more THIS side, and well, they are already... selected.
A few moments ago, just before the library opened, I was party to a sight which ordinarily would have irritated me but which, given the options, was a... Godsend.
This young mother, with her daughter was sitting just beside me. At first the mom was reading stories to her daughter, the om with brown hair the daughter with blonde hair, then after a while the daughter was, being probably less than two years old, running around and making baby-talk. The mother herself is quite pretty, tall, and with a nose that reminded me of michelle [I was doing the math last night and I realised that, with the 'pastor', the redhead, the married blue eyed chick and the young mom from the St. Luke's Hospice shop, there were only FOUR women, and for me to... re-pent... I needed five, so, want, and it is provided!]and she stood up, put the child on her hips, and she, perhaps noticing that I was watching, re-arranged the hem of her blouse so that it covered her ass. Struck me as ... funny... that a woman would find my scrutiny something to be avoided, like she did not want me to laugh at her should her dressing be awry. Now, because I was mulling over this re-pentance thing, I carried on watching, and she moved around a bit more, but the libarary opened so I went in, sat down at my usual spot, and THEN, she came in, her eyes fixed on me. hmm! OK, I said to myself, I will take this one,her child too, and seal michelle's fate. So what she is married?
I am taking apart the whole institution of mankind, so, fuck convention!
I will not ask any one of the women for their consent, I will take what I want and do as I please.Their consent is secondary. I am like a... father... who does not ask the children for their consent before they are... born, but they get born anyway, regardless of their inclinations on the issue.
That is how I view women. Actually, if I ASK a woman to be mine, I am violating my own ... nature... because, you see the King does not ask, he... orders.

The second woman was also settled today. She is a major part of the reason why I went so early to Glencairn to board the train. She is a red-head, and I first noticed her wearing her sunglasses when shem because of the book she was reading, a sequel to a book about the last dragon which I had always wanted but never gotten my hands on. This is about the only book of afntasy written by a woman that I ever had time for. Today, though I had to run to get there on time, and I could have gotten on in the third class carriage, which was nearer, but I walked all the way to the other end of the station because I wanted to see her, and she was dressed even better then yesterday when she had a skirt that showed of her lovely legs. She had a long skirt and a blue top and when I came to this sort of cubicle where she was standing, she bent down to return a folder to her purse, and I admired the view, got on the same carriage as her, and started taking notes, about her appearance, her long neck and fine features, although I wonder why women feel the need to paint themselves. She had nail- thingy on her fingernails.

AND she is married.Wedding ring and all that
Now, these are the 25 women and their daughters, that will depart these shores with me.


AND I have decided that what must NOW happen must happen NOW. Because I will NOT turn back to those I have rejected, but

All this time that we are survivor
And we blessed coz our God He our provider
And when bassie with us thm are gon' fight
We nuh give up we are survive we survivor

many men rise

and many men fall

at the end of it all

we will stand tall

never we back down

never we stall

.

.

.

everything we do presidential

Ultimatum

Being left to hang in the wind is something I REALLY do not... welcome..., because it makes me seem like I REALLY am besotted or clinging or something when in fact I 
                                    Hate
 being in this mess, this situation, this limbo, so much so that I have decided that, come 3pm, if Nicky?, butthead and family have NOT acceded to my... instructions, I will take it as a point of fact that they are quite willing to have me leave them as they are, THEN, as soon as my things start rolling, I will start with making several heads roll, as well.


Pity I never thought of beheading anyone. Could be some fun, right?


Anyway, the deal is this, either my... adjustment of yesterday is heeded and obeyed, or we all revert to the original deal, where Colombian Neckties,  carpet rolls, rat burrowings and adulterers' knots and all that feature.


So, the very... lucky... group of  'overseers' has till 3pm to decide which way they want it to go, because after that I take charge, and , since I am NOT a person to be reasoned with, that means after 3pm, today 06-12-2012 [GMT+2 time] everything about what is to happen gets sealed in... stone.

Let me put it this way; I am not into having fun and wishing others happy lives and such. The ONE thing I am GOING to do is DESTROY lives; the way of living that is currently in vogue; the standards of society... basically everything that everyone believes in, so please do NOT expect sympathy or mercy from me.


I am looking for an EXCUSE to KILL people, not to mend their lives.

Part of my hope is, if the past trends are anything to go by, by the end of the day, several death warrants would have been signed, michelle's chiefly among them. because I hate that bitch so much I want to throttle her... maybe I could THEN behead her, right?

YESSSS!

So, I await the reason to implement my own versions of  revenge, YESSS!!!


Like Mad Cobra goes

Me press trigger 

Me nuh press people button

No bother chat come face me with some'
Like the F22 inna me sound
Turn on the heat what you wan' start fool?
.

.

.
One or two take no long speech from the guy
...
nuh make no evidence nuh testify
what are demma do with no tongue and no eye
see me

She did it .... AGAIN

So there I am, quite ready to wrap everything up and go forward, and I purposely delay coming back to Simonstown and as I get to the Glencairn traffic junction, she drives past.


I am impressed:- the little lady has more balls than all the men surrounding her, and hell, I LIKE it!


So, of course, since I can not really... soil... my hands by fighting with gutless wimps like mama's boy butt-head, or the armless Armed Forces Moto Mia /Triumph guy, I will let the whole family off.

Its a waste of time worrying about these assholes, yess!

YEAH, RIGHT!!

Since these fools want to remain under a woman's skirts, this is what I will do: I will treat them as kids:

I challenge butt-head to do this... present himself before me at a day and time of my chosing, WHEN it has been confirmed that I am who I say I am, and I will, without tying him down, drill from behind his right knee till I drill the kneecap, all the while with him lying on his belly.

WHEN I have finished, then he can go to Zimbabwe as I leave and go live there and end up a beggar, like he took me for.

At least I will let him live, since he seems to love his pathetic life so much more than... honour.

As for the Armed forces guy, He also presents himself, and I disarm him, i.e. I break his left index finger, then his left arm, and all this without fighting him.

Matter of fact, they should both come together, because, you see, they behaved towards me like grown-ups, and so should get treated like grown-ups, meaning that if they want, they can always fight back, in which case I will happily take both of them apart, piece by painful piece.


That aint all. Since butt-head's mom has taken up the defense of her kids, then she is now responsible for seeing to it... without delay... that I get a place to stay... with her, namely, butt-head's place in Sun Valley, and she includes her daughter's daughter with her, and from that moment on has nothing to do with her other daughters.


Then, maybe, just maybe, I may just turn away from doing them any harm, although, of course, I itch to do just that.

Provided, of course, that those same daughters are really so tight with michelle that they...advise her NOT to try her interfering tactics, because THEN, NOTHING will save any one of them, and I WILL wreak my vengeance... yesss!


YESSSS!


Of course, I will say this now; I love butt-head's mom, always have, but you see, she had to get her head out of her backside, which is why I have done as I did... although NONE of it is a joke.


I am DEAD serious.