There is no ... easy... way to say this, at least not for people, anyway, but then, I am thinking about... me, and no more about what someone may or may not be thinking, because it is sometimes... painful... to wonder what goes on between a certain person's ears.
it is not as if the answer to that matters that much, because with me, people are more or less just a mere academic exercise, their decisions and their thoughts mean as much to me as a puff of wind, and it is only when it appears that God is involved that I even pay the least bit of attention.
Now, yesterday, I spent the whole 45 minutes at this very same place wondering just what someone else thought, and then, I got the conclusion as I walked out the library and this same Honda ballade that has been driving up and down and messing with my equilibrium drove past, just as I reached the main road, and in it were a bunch of half-assed males, maybe making a show of force or something.
of course i got scared, and now I am running away!
yeah, right!
what actually happened was that I concluded that I had wasted enough time, and that it was way past time to be ...active.
now, if these fools wanted a real fight, they should have waylaid me on my way home, when I am in an isolated spot, and THEY are not likely to go to the cops for help when I rip into them. neutral territory and all that, but they make the mistake of driving around in public, where they probably wait for me to explode so that i can be locked up... the bunch of cretins and dick less fools!
women all of them.
well, they all die ... shortly, anyway.
along with the women. fuck them, they have made their choices! they will live and die by them!
maybe they thought i was besotted with them, maybe they thought 'love' was the most important thing for me, since i had such a loveless childhood, and maybe they thought I was trying to compensate by being attached to as many women as possible?
fuck that, I would not even have bothered with them at all if it was not because, as I said, I thought god was involved.
right now i lay no bets on anyone as being conclusively... mine, but if god said it, then He should know, and I would take Him up on His word to ME, when I complained about him saddling me with a woman I could not stand and he refutted that by saying it was MY choice that led me to taking the woman and that HIS yoke, if he gave me one, would be easy and HIS burden would be light.
nothing easy and light about THESE five women.
So, they all accompany michelle to hell, sodding bitches, and I get the satisfaction of having an eyesore removed from my vision!
Anyway, yesterday, what happened helped propel me to my decision;- and I have decided I will be going away, today, and that there will be no more posts from me till after Khayelitsha has been destroyed, michelle and co. gone to hell, and obama and HIS co. also gone to hell, and the 'crocodile eaten the sun', meaning, of course, the darkness that will make Alaska warmer, while it makes south africa colder.
fuck, you knew it was happening, and it was only a matter of time, so, if you assumed that there would be no such thing, eat your hearts out.
now is the time for tears, and when I have the ten women that me and God agreed on with me, I will depart this land, but not before I decide whether to flood the whole of simonstown and... destroy the evidence!
I am going to sleep. In a cave, of all places, and when people have died and they want to get in touch with me and plead with me NOT to destroy other places in a similar manner, like the coloured areas and all other places, they should send a ship to offer a twenty one gun salute around Kalk bay harbour, as a sign of capitulation.
if khayelitsha is destroyed and no one listens to me, and prepares the lord nelson hotel in cape town for my exclusive use, then I will destroy Mitchel's plain, and then, after that, I go nationwide, and start with Soweto, and so on till either the whole nation has been reduced to gaping lava, or they give in.
I am talking a serious collision course, here, me against all of you, and we shall see just who wins the battle , and buckles under, shan't we?
Now, about my fellow... black people;- I do not think my cousin will last a single day with me in charge, and so, he dies at the same time that other people die, as well as sam, manners, and the brother and sister combo of wayne and desirea whitelane, and also, of course,prince mushonga.
the rest are either minor nuisances or they are too.. important to be dealt with so... summarily, yessss!
now, I am walking away.
Thursday, 28 February 2013
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
I am having to... think;- AGAIN
Trouble started for me yesterday afternoon, when I was walking in Simonstown to avoid sleeping, and ended up at the art-shop.
I was walking BACK to the work-shop when I bumped into this girl I called the red-head from 'up there' who it turns out has, or had herself have, brown hair, and she was talking to some people and she turned around and walked my way as I recognised her.
now, maybe I am not really an honest person, because I seem to have left out, a lot, this very simple fact, everytime I have mentioned women;- I am smitten by white women, and do not see myself really having anything to do with anyone NOT white.
maybe I AM a racist in that regard, not because I think women who are not white are better, but because they do not... YELL ...as much as the other races, and their voices are more well modulated than those of almost every other peoples, and THAT matters to me, since almost everyday what anyone says DOES piss me off, not only because of the content, but also because of the ... tone.
i mean, I can barely stand the undercurrent of menace in everything I say when I open MY mouth, so I have an ear attuned so very critically to everyone else's tone it is not surprsising that most times even a message delivered in a friendly voice gets to my nerves, because i KNOW that whan I use the tone, I AM conveying intent to harm.
And there I am, delivering my angry speech yesterday and saying I am good to go; to myself anyhow, and yet the sight of that little woman has me thinking, you know, I would love to get her and get to ... know her, yes?
so, it had me thinking about a lot of things, and it ended up with me asking myself what I would like to take away with me, aside from the... ten women, and I was... hesitant... when it came to... nicky?, because frankly, I can not make up my mind about whether to... kill her or to... have her along.
All because I can not decide whether what I 'saw' was really what was... there.
nor can I decide whther the mother would -- and I MUST be plain here, her son dies anyway, regardless of what she may have to ... think about it, as well as the puffing-chunky-runner-boy (fuck, the little idiot grates on me; he puts his tail between his legs, and then in acts of... defiance... resumes his daily jogging past the shop as if to taunt me into getting, physical with him.I would love to, but I KNOW how these things will end;I can not be destroyed, and I never QUIT, so, what do you think he will look like when I am done with him? And besides, I have an independent memory-based tactile sense; like if I touch a person I remmber when I had similar contact, and WHY, and so if I start killing white people, and I then TOUCH a white woman, chances are I will immediately bunch my fist without thinking and strike her, since their skins are rather soft to touch and stuff. Which is why I prefer to deal with these people... from a distance).
now, as I said, I am not sure what the... mother thinks, because I am rather... curious as to how she may see me, and remmbering that I ONCE said I would love to have her as the first ever white woman, because she rather impressed me; I do not know if she would ... jump with joy, knowing that nine months and some many years of labour is coming to an.... abrupt end, because I am dead set the fools she gave birth to would die, and at my command.
I do not think she would like it.
Nor do I suppose that allison would love being around me, or nicky?'s sister, or the little woman I saw yesterday, but well, from MY point of view, I would, if the pitfalls could be negotiated... by them, not me, really enjoy having them.
And I mean that in a very selfish way, of course.
of course, I am thinking that I will, anyway, see what I can do about some other women that have taken my fancy, but the point is THAT is none of their business, because what I am ... thinking... at the moment is that instead of waiting around for people who may or may not be interested in me, let me rather just move on forward.... .
I have to think a bit about this one;- I KNOW that a desire for... other... women is based chiefly on my rejection of nicky?, because she is the ONE person I have a distinct grudge against, and while i think she had a... small change... in her view of me, meaning whatever she saw to begin with was NOT based on her looking down at me, but needed a little adjustment to get the ... proper picture [maybe had something to do with her thinking I had to merely look after a woman's child and not bother with wanting to have anything more than parental interest and then me walking away from the person's life as she , the said daughter, got on with her own life, and so, maybe, when I mentioned that I would never do anything to please someone else but myself, she gave up on her designs to have a surrogate father made of me?
hey, I am reaching maybe, because she probaby does not think that anyway, but I am just saying, what if THAT was the reason why she had her 'small change' when I decided I would post the things I posted on that Sunday the 21st of October?]... meaning she had viewed me not as michelle did, which is as a person to dump her burdens on, but had swallowed the things I had to say anyway, although hse thought I should be bound by the laws of... decency?
Ok, so lets say I but that:- what about the mother, since the things was for two ... 'fools' [funny thing, I sat at the same terminal as before and can NOT get the Greek transliteration. Maybe I ought to adjust this blogspot's settings]... or maybe more, and so, let me say that the... mother is involved, since i can not see who else may qualify for that:-
so she reads my post and then she realises that... what?... i was portraying myself as the... victim? A person bothered by women , and her son, simply because some silly woman would not leave me alone till she got me mad, mad enough to decide that she must die?, and her son MUST die?
nuh!
I think its more like, she discovered that... reasoning with me in these things would not work, because I would not yield even to God, and demanded that every person's life be forfeit if i was to carry on living, or that I would die and have nothing to do with compromise.
I meant it too, actually, not because I want to put god to shame, but because I was at the time certain that God would want me to make adjustments and be more reasonable and understanding and tolerant.
I do not know how to... tolerate... anything, nor do I want to learn. I am very, very set in my ways, and will not let anything or anyone make me walk off the path.
even if i am temporarily persuaded to let things slide, I will actually end up doing as i originally intended, because people's opinions carry little weight with me.
It is therefore very ... hard... for me to accept that i could end up with nicky?
because I REALLY, really do not like her.
everything about her makes me feel like pulling my hair.
She would have to either be very impressive to make me even believe anything she has to say, OR she will just have to walk away, and put her lot with her brother and his girlfriend, and I will kill them all.
Because frankly, I would rather take candice, pat's daughter, because she is not hard to understand. Except for the... tattoos.
and the history.
and the mother.
fuck, i hate that woman!
I was walking BACK to the work-shop when I bumped into this girl I called the red-head from 'up there' who it turns out has, or had herself have, brown hair, and she was talking to some people and she turned around and walked my way as I recognised her.
now, maybe I am not really an honest person, because I seem to have left out, a lot, this very simple fact, everytime I have mentioned women;- I am smitten by white women, and do not see myself really having anything to do with anyone NOT white.
maybe I AM a racist in that regard, not because I think women who are not white are better, but because they do not... YELL ...as much as the other races, and their voices are more well modulated than those of almost every other peoples, and THAT matters to me, since almost everyday what anyone says DOES piss me off, not only because of the content, but also because of the ... tone.
i mean, I can barely stand the undercurrent of menace in everything I say when I open MY mouth, so I have an ear attuned so very critically to everyone else's tone it is not surprsising that most times even a message delivered in a friendly voice gets to my nerves, because i KNOW that whan I use the tone, I AM conveying intent to harm.
And there I am, delivering my angry speech yesterday and saying I am good to go; to myself anyhow, and yet the sight of that little woman has me thinking, you know, I would love to get her and get to ... know her, yes?
so, it had me thinking about a lot of things, and it ended up with me asking myself what I would like to take away with me, aside from the... ten women, and I was... hesitant... when it came to... nicky?, because frankly, I can not make up my mind about whether to... kill her or to... have her along.
All because I can not decide whether what I 'saw' was really what was... there.
nor can I decide whther the mother would -- and I MUST be plain here, her son dies anyway, regardless of what she may have to ... think about it, as well as the puffing-chunky-runner-boy (fuck, the little idiot grates on me; he puts his tail between his legs, and then in acts of... defiance... resumes his daily jogging past the shop as if to taunt me into getting, physical with him.I would love to, but I KNOW how these things will end;I can not be destroyed, and I never QUIT, so, what do you think he will look like when I am done with him? And besides, I have an independent memory-based tactile sense; like if I touch a person I remmber when I had similar contact, and WHY, and so if I start killing white people, and I then TOUCH a white woman, chances are I will immediately bunch my fist without thinking and strike her, since their skins are rather soft to touch and stuff. Which is why I prefer to deal with these people... from a distance).
now, as I said, I am not sure what the... mother thinks, because I am rather... curious as to how she may see me, and remmbering that I ONCE said I would love to have her as the first ever white woman, because she rather impressed me; I do not know if she would ... jump with joy, knowing that nine months and some many years of labour is coming to an.... abrupt end, because I am dead set the fools she gave birth to would die, and at my command.
I do not think she would like it.
Nor do I suppose that allison would love being around me, or nicky?'s sister, or the little woman I saw yesterday, but well, from MY point of view, I would, if the pitfalls could be negotiated... by them, not me, really enjoy having them.
And I mean that in a very selfish way, of course.
of course, I am thinking that I will, anyway, see what I can do about some other women that have taken my fancy, but the point is THAT is none of their business, because what I am ... thinking... at the moment is that instead of waiting around for people who may or may not be interested in me, let me rather just move on forward.... .
I have to think a bit about this one;- I KNOW that a desire for... other... women is based chiefly on my rejection of nicky?, because she is the ONE person I have a distinct grudge against, and while i think she had a... small change... in her view of me, meaning whatever she saw to begin with was NOT based on her looking down at me, but needed a little adjustment to get the ... proper picture [maybe had something to do with her thinking I had to merely look after a woman's child and not bother with wanting to have anything more than parental interest and then me walking away from the person's life as she , the said daughter, got on with her own life, and so, maybe, when I mentioned that I would never do anything to please someone else but myself, she gave up on her designs to have a surrogate father made of me?
hey, I am reaching maybe, because she probaby does not think that anyway, but I am just saying, what if THAT was the reason why she had her 'small change' when I decided I would post the things I posted on that Sunday the 21st of October?]... meaning she had viewed me not as michelle did, which is as a person to dump her burdens on, but had swallowed the things I had to say anyway, although hse thought I should be bound by the laws of... decency?
Ok, so lets say I but that:- what about the mother, since the things was for two ... 'fools' [funny thing, I sat at the same terminal as before and can NOT get the Greek transliteration. Maybe I ought to adjust this blogspot's settings]... or maybe more, and so, let me say that the... mother is involved, since i can not see who else may qualify for that:-
so she reads my post and then she realises that... what?... i was portraying myself as the... victim? A person bothered by women , and her son, simply because some silly woman would not leave me alone till she got me mad, mad enough to decide that she must die?, and her son MUST die?
nuh!
I think its more like, she discovered that... reasoning with me in these things would not work, because I would not yield even to God, and demanded that every person's life be forfeit if i was to carry on living, or that I would die and have nothing to do with compromise.
I meant it too, actually, not because I want to put god to shame, but because I was at the time certain that God would want me to make adjustments and be more reasonable and understanding and tolerant.
I do not know how to... tolerate... anything, nor do I want to learn. I am very, very set in my ways, and will not let anything or anyone make me walk off the path.
even if i am temporarily persuaded to let things slide, I will actually end up doing as i originally intended, because people's opinions carry little weight with me.
It is therefore very ... hard... for me to accept that i could end up with nicky?
because I REALLY, really do not like her.
everything about her makes me feel like pulling my hair.
She would have to either be very impressive to make me even believe anything she has to say, OR she will just have to walk away, and put her lot with her brother and his girlfriend, and I will kill them all.
Because frankly, I would rather take candice, pat's daughter, because she is not hard to understand. Except for the... tattoos.
and the history.
and the mother.
fuck, i hate that woman!
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Me fire ME light it!
I love it when a plan comes together, yes?
i mean here I am knowing for a fact that chasing people and then killing them is anathema to my poor, lazy bones, and also knowing that I am DEFINITELY not going to just leave some of them assholes to sigh with relief and carry on with their lives, and yet... the idea of just killing a person and not having anything further to do with the person is, to me, just a slap on the wrist, yes?
i mean, I want them to ... suffer... for a loooooooong time, and then, when I am satisfied, I will let the fools off the hook, and then kill them.
Now, I am remembering that my angst with these people started simply because a silly woman would not take my disinterest in her for what it was, and she decided to make me further pissed off by her... shenanigans.
they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and she actually, evidently tried to show me the extent of her fury, yes? By endeavouring to knock my dreams into a million pieces and having me deported and left utterly crushed.
but you are not hearing me:-
They say HELL hath NO fury like a woman scorned.
So, here is what I came up with:-
How about putting it to the test?
send her straight to hell, with her daughter for company; the same daughter she wanted to fob off on me, and SEE, with the added incentive, if she, with her christian belief and her holy spirit, will actually OVERCOME hell?
I mean, why not put the money where the mouth is, since nowadays, in place of "YHWH is my shepherd.." they put "jesus/the holy spirit is my shepherd".
So, if he is REALLY lord, or THEY are lord, and everything I am saying is just nonsense, then
1) they will not go to hell in the first place, since jesus is lord, and she has an... advocate... in the holy spirit, who is her ... consolation [meaning her private light, in the literal sense]
2)even if she goes through the valley of the shado of death, she will fear no evil, for the holy spirit/jesus (which latter is supposed to be in heaven) will be with her, and his rod [whatever that is] and his staff will prtotect her.
now, I personally hold that jesus WAS the 'abomination that made desolate', because when he showed up, God abandoned the 'peculiar people' He had chosen for Himself, and thus, the light/sun [solaris. from which you get 'con-solation'/'de-solation' meaning with- and without- light respectively] and from then on there was NEVER any kind of ... order with the jews.
jesus broke God's covenant with the people, and thus, as far as I am concerned, thay are fair game.
now, i LOVE putting theories to the test, and so, IF I am right, then the day the darkness decsends is the day the middle east becomes rather dark, in a wet way, by being completely submerged in the sea, till there does not exist a single person to defy me.
but, but, but:
I am going too far afield.
I am straying from home ground.
Now, of course, we all know that families stick togethter, and I must say that I have been quite... impressed by the way people have rallied to put me in my ... 'place'... so far, people like faggot-face, butt-head, moto mia, and even chunky boy, and so, of course, they will all, with michelle, go down the same instant, though they be a million miles apart, and all end up in hell, and thus prove that THEIR god, jesus christ the messiah and the only way to the Father, is able to snatch people from my hand.
since it is a family affair, I am offering the same chance to be proved right to all those involved, and they can go along with these very... bold... strutters and drivers, and put their faith to the test, yesssss!
because at the end of the day, that is what friends are for, yes, butthead's mom? nicky??, allison? Latino type-person?, nicky?-nose, sexy ass one?
mmmh, i would not deprive you all of the chance to be... heroes, yes?
Actually, the song goes:
maybe the people up there at the OSC are thinking David and Goliath, and I am the Goliath and they are taking refuge in their 'lord', jesus christ, yessss!
oh, yes, now me fire me light it, for real!
i mean here I am knowing for a fact that chasing people and then killing them is anathema to my poor, lazy bones, and also knowing that I am DEFINITELY not going to just leave some of them assholes to sigh with relief and carry on with their lives, and yet... the idea of just killing a person and not having anything further to do with the person is, to me, just a slap on the wrist, yes?
i mean, I want them to ... suffer... for a loooooooong time, and then, when I am satisfied, I will let the fools off the hook, and then kill them.
Now, I am remembering that my angst with these people started simply because a silly woman would not take my disinterest in her for what it was, and she decided to make me further pissed off by her... shenanigans.
they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and she actually, evidently tried to show me the extent of her fury, yes? By endeavouring to knock my dreams into a million pieces and having me deported and left utterly crushed.
but you are not hearing me:-
They say HELL hath NO fury like a woman scorned.
So, here is what I came up with:-
How about putting it to the test?
send her straight to hell, with her daughter for company; the same daughter she wanted to fob off on me, and SEE, with the added incentive, if she, with her christian belief and her holy spirit, will actually OVERCOME hell?
I mean, why not put the money where the mouth is, since nowadays, in place of "YHWH is my shepherd.." they put "jesus/the holy spirit is my shepherd".
So, if he is REALLY lord, or THEY are lord, and everything I am saying is just nonsense, then
1) they will not go to hell in the first place, since jesus is lord, and she has an... advocate... in the holy spirit, who is her ... consolation [meaning her private light, in the literal sense]
2)even if she goes through the valley of the shado of death, she will fear no evil, for the holy spirit/jesus (which latter is supposed to be in heaven) will be with her, and his rod [whatever that is] and his staff will prtotect her.
now, I personally hold that jesus WAS the 'abomination that made desolate', because when he showed up, God abandoned the 'peculiar people' He had chosen for Himself, and thus, the light/sun [solaris. from which you get 'con-solation'/'de-solation' meaning with- and without- light respectively] and from then on there was NEVER any kind of ... order with the jews.
jesus broke God's covenant with the people, and thus, as far as I am concerned, thay are fair game.
now, i LOVE putting theories to the test, and so, IF I am right, then the day the darkness decsends is the day the middle east becomes rather dark, in a wet way, by being completely submerged in the sea, till there does not exist a single person to defy me.
but, but, but:
I am going too far afield.
I am straying from home ground.
Now, of course, we all know that families stick togethter, and I must say that I have been quite... impressed by the way people have rallied to put me in my ... 'place'... so far, people like faggot-face, butt-head, moto mia, and even chunky boy, and so, of course, they will all, with michelle, go down the same instant, though they be a million miles apart, and all end up in hell, and thus prove that THEIR god, jesus christ the messiah and the only way to the Father, is able to snatch people from my hand.
since it is a family affair, I am offering the same chance to be proved right to all those involved, and they can go along with these very... bold... strutters and drivers, and put their faith to the test, yesssss!
because at the end of the day, that is what friends are for, yes, butthead's mom? nicky??, allison? Latino type-person?, nicky?-nose, sexy ass one?
mmmh, i would not deprive you all of the chance to be... heroes, yes?
Actually, the song goes:
she gimme de thing
and me fire she light it
she gimme di ting
and me no me go like it
she gimme di ting
the way she should, way she should
she gimme di ting
and me like it good!
and me fire she light it
she gimme di ting
and me no me go like it
she gimme di ting
the way she should, way she should
she gimme di ting
and me like it good!
and of course, capleton sang the song, but then, it will not be found on You-Tube, so, fuck that, yes?
i will put this one instead:
i will put this one instead:
Now, I really NEED to find out what I wrote on that Sunday, and it was actually Sunday the 21st of October, and I will post what I think about that right here:-
Ok, so the one post is called"Recognition first" where I speak of being overlord; me and my grandiose ambitions, and I dare to challenge God to put it thusly; my life or the life of everyone else.
the other one is also a post that speaks of how i saw myself and how I always did what pleased people while I myself suffered but then, in the end, I got fed up.
now, what in THERE is enought to cause some... mother, blonde.. to park her 'mother's vehicle', and start looking differently at me?
i mean, no one even believes that i actually bothered to kill myself and failed, and who would accept that what I say is for real anyway?
this is gonna take some tot, like the Big bad Wolf said to himself in "Wolves, Witches and Giants"... wonder if You Tube has a video of a particular episode?
Ok, so the one post is called"Recognition first" where I speak of being overlord; me and my grandiose ambitions, and I dare to challenge God to put it thusly; my life or the life of everyone else.
the other one is also a post that speaks of how i saw myself and how I always did what pleased people while I myself suffered but then, in the end, I got fed up.
now, what in THERE is enought to cause some... mother, blonde.. to park her 'mother's vehicle', and start looking differently at me?
i mean, no one even believes that i actually bothered to kill myself and failed, and who would accept that what I say is for real anyway?
this is gonna take some tot, like the Big bad Wolf said to himself in "Wolves, Witches and Giants"... wonder if You Tube has a video of a particular episode?
Apparently not, but then there is this one where a giant faces off against molly, a small girl.
maybe the people up there at the OSC are thinking David and Goliath, and I am the Goliath and they are taking refuge in their 'lord', jesus christ, yessss!
oh, yes, now me fire me light it, for real!
Monday, 25 February 2013
The ... SILENT.... 5
Ok, so I slip up a lot and let my guard down many times, like when I, the night before last, got woken up by Fletcher telling me a guy was murdering his wife/woman/girlfriend at out door and I just walked up to the guy, slapped him, and chased him away.
guy spent the whole of yesterday waiting for us to emerge... from hiding, as he thought... and when we finally showed up at our door, he tells me he wants to 'know' why I beat him up.
Guy looked like he had had an argument with several bricks; his nose was almost broken, and his face swollen, and I KNOW I gave him just a couple of open-handed slaps, and when I literally tell him to fuck off, he comes back with a reception committee, ready to start a lynching for these newcomers who come, start kicking dogs [hey, the mutt was yapping at my heels], tell the landlord he is a poes, [guy broke our lock trying to get other people to rent the same house because I had paid but not come the day I said I would] and then beat up a fellow Zimbabwean having an argument with his 'property' simply because I had been disturbed from my sleep.
It was a very entertaining night, and in the end, we were all friends, and I even bought the disgruntled guy a beer, and we agreed that a lot of things had been said and done... in the heat of the moment.
Fortunately, Fletcher has a diplomatic tongue, because I only wanted to find out just how... unhappy the guys were, even though I knew that if I started something, it would probably end up with the whole of red-hill involved, and me against a crowd, since I am not exactly mr-popular down that side...or is it up?
Now, I had behaved in a singularly thoughtless manner, because I wanted to give vent to this bubbling anger in me, and I am getting rather reckless about everything.
So, to make up for it, I spent the night, thinking.
deeply.
And at first, I said to myself, according to that vision of the head and fifteeen seconds, the people I was silent about had to be women that I did not speak to who heard me and made their own choices.
I even came up with the five, five women I would use to boast to the ... OSC... about how... in demand I was.
they are
the glancairn heights girl, with her 'whats wrong with me?' gesture;
the woman at the beach with her two kids and her spectacular behaviour;
the girl with the book Shopaholic Girl;
the diving lady with her smashing waist and ass;
The smiling blue-eyed woman at the Fish Hoek library.
I was very satisfied with these till I reached the very obvious conclusion that these women, when they saw me, wanted my... approval.
I noticed them, yes, and yet they wanted to have me react to them so that they would feel good about themselves.
heck, even the red-head at the Glencairn station was doing things that meant she wanted me to somehow come out of my shell so she could have the pleasure of knowing she was not as worthless as she probably assumed.
The point is,
All the activity was NOT about me, but about how they saw themselves, every single one of them!
And as soon as I discovered that, I made the dismal conclusion that I would still have to face the five women of the OSC.
but, before I made my decision, I also concluded that I would NEVER have anything to do with someone who came to me so that she could save the life of a son, daughter, or herself, because I do not carry such weights.
So, it must be unequivocally CLEAR just why the woman comes to me, and the ONLY acceptable reason is because she herself made up her mind she wanted to, and that she was not leaning on me to make her choice for her.
The other thing is, I am going to kill people with my bare hands anyway, and michelle is one of them, as well as her brother, moto mia and butt-head.
So, even if the woman was related to these people, it would make no difference to me, because it is not as with the other women who have done me no wrong; these people have each in her own way pissed me off, so, of course, I am not ... friendly... when it comes to them.
like butt-head's mom who I would love to leave in the cold and leave to the mercy of a hungry, vengeful mob when I seal up all of simonstown. Woman strolls up and down trying to make me do... what?
stop being me?
so that her asshole of a son can live, and I put my tail between my legs and just move on?
Or Allison with her male companion, making all those notice-me moves that set my teeth on edge.
i will kill the bastard, just to spite her.
or nicky, who had the gall to piss me off, and then lean forward when she and her brother peremptorily hooted their car horn at me as if I was some kind of errand-dog that she wanted to attract to herself, like the things that i was unhappy about were mere nonsense and she herself was more important than any of that.
If only she knew that the reason she is NOT currently on the death-row list is because I am yet to decide if God was responsible for the visions I saw of her or not!
Then there is the lady with her dog, who assured me the dog would not bite, as if I was worried about being bitten when the fact that set me off was that the mutt was BARKING at me!
like it is ok to be made the centre of everyone's attention as long as the baying dog does not sink its teeth into you! Who the fuck likes being barked at and then being told the dog is harmless? Like, where the fuck is the stupid woman's HEAD? Maybe she had ear-plugs, and could not hear.
turns out the fucking woman and her boyfriend were making it a habit to come into my path. So, I notice them now, and take appropriate action, YESSS!.
well, since I really HATE only michelle, and otherwise despise the rest of the bitches, I will not kill her, but take out my anger on chunky-boy.
Then there is the girl with the sexy ass, the unmistakable relative of stuck-up nicky?I have nothing to say about HER, because frankly, it is because of HER I am hesitant about killing nicky?, since if I had not seen her, I would NOT have realised the nose thing that I never saw in real life but in a vision, making me wonder whether the woman [nicky?] really had had a change of heart.
fuck, one of these days I must read my 22 October posts. All I remember is that I was angry, and upset at being 'deceived' by God.
Funny that all these women are not that bad to look at, and so, if they can surmount these obstacles... somehow, like living with a guy who has close-blood on his hands, then they probably will not suffer any more after they are under my wing.
Allison has such a nice set of...uh fuck that!
i am thinking of walking away anyway and just ignoring this.
guy spent the whole of yesterday waiting for us to emerge... from hiding, as he thought... and when we finally showed up at our door, he tells me he wants to 'know' why I beat him up.
Guy looked like he had had an argument with several bricks; his nose was almost broken, and his face swollen, and I KNOW I gave him just a couple of open-handed slaps, and when I literally tell him to fuck off, he comes back with a reception committee, ready to start a lynching for these newcomers who come, start kicking dogs [hey, the mutt was yapping at my heels], tell the landlord he is a poes, [guy broke our lock trying to get other people to rent the same house because I had paid but not come the day I said I would] and then beat up a fellow Zimbabwean having an argument with his 'property' simply because I had been disturbed from my sleep.
It was a very entertaining night, and in the end, we were all friends, and I even bought the disgruntled guy a beer, and we agreed that a lot of things had been said and done... in the heat of the moment.
Fortunately, Fletcher has a diplomatic tongue, because I only wanted to find out just how... unhappy the guys were, even though I knew that if I started something, it would probably end up with the whole of red-hill involved, and me against a crowd, since I am not exactly mr-popular down that side...or is it up?
Now, I had behaved in a singularly thoughtless manner, because I wanted to give vent to this bubbling anger in me, and I am getting rather reckless about everything.
So, to make up for it, I spent the night, thinking.
deeply.
And at first, I said to myself, according to that vision of the head and fifteeen seconds, the people I was silent about had to be women that I did not speak to who heard me and made their own choices.
I even came up with the five, five women I would use to boast to the ... OSC... about how... in demand I was.
they are
the glancairn heights girl, with her 'whats wrong with me?' gesture;
the woman at the beach with her two kids and her spectacular behaviour;
the girl with the book Shopaholic Girl;
the diving lady with her smashing waist and ass;
The smiling blue-eyed woman at the Fish Hoek library.
I was very satisfied with these till I reached the very obvious conclusion that these women, when they saw me, wanted my... approval.
I noticed them, yes, and yet they wanted to have me react to them so that they would feel good about themselves.
heck, even the red-head at the Glencairn station was doing things that meant she wanted me to somehow come out of my shell so she could have the pleasure of knowing she was not as worthless as she probably assumed.
The point is,
All the activity was NOT about me, but about how they saw themselves, every single one of them!
And as soon as I discovered that, I made the dismal conclusion that I would still have to face the five women of the OSC.
but, before I made my decision, I also concluded that I would NEVER have anything to do with someone who came to me so that she could save the life of a son, daughter, or herself, because I do not carry such weights.
So, it must be unequivocally CLEAR just why the woman comes to me, and the ONLY acceptable reason is because she herself made up her mind she wanted to, and that she was not leaning on me to make her choice for her.
The other thing is, I am going to kill people with my bare hands anyway, and michelle is one of them, as well as her brother, moto mia and butt-head.
So, even if the woman was related to these people, it would make no difference to me, because it is not as with the other women who have done me no wrong; these people have each in her own way pissed me off, so, of course, I am not ... friendly... when it comes to them.
like butt-head's mom who I would love to leave in the cold and leave to the mercy of a hungry, vengeful mob when I seal up all of simonstown. Woman strolls up and down trying to make me do... what?
stop being me?
so that her asshole of a son can live, and I put my tail between my legs and just move on?
Or Allison with her male companion, making all those notice-me moves that set my teeth on edge.
i will kill the bastard, just to spite her.
or nicky, who had the gall to piss me off, and then lean forward when she and her brother peremptorily hooted their car horn at me as if I was some kind of errand-dog that she wanted to attract to herself, like the things that i was unhappy about were mere nonsense and she herself was more important than any of that.
If only she knew that the reason she is NOT currently on the death-row list is because I am yet to decide if God was responsible for the visions I saw of her or not!
Then there is the lady with her dog, who assured me the dog would not bite, as if I was worried about being bitten when the fact that set me off was that the mutt was BARKING at me!
like it is ok to be made the centre of everyone's attention as long as the baying dog does not sink its teeth into you! Who the fuck likes being barked at and then being told the dog is harmless? Like, where the fuck is the stupid woman's HEAD? Maybe she had ear-plugs, and could not hear.
turns out the fucking woman and her boyfriend were making it a habit to come into my path. So, I notice them now, and take appropriate action, YESSS!.
well, since I really HATE only michelle, and otherwise despise the rest of the bitches, I will not kill her, but take out my anger on chunky-boy.
Then there is the girl with the sexy ass, the unmistakable relative of stuck-up nicky?I have nothing to say about HER, because frankly, it is because of HER I am hesitant about killing nicky?, since if I had not seen her, I would NOT have realised the nose thing that I never saw in real life but in a vision, making me wonder whether the woman [nicky?] really had had a change of heart.
fuck, one of these days I must read my 22 October posts. All I remember is that I was angry, and upset at being 'deceived' by God.
Funny that all these women are not that bad to look at, and so, if they can surmount these obstacles... somehow, like living with a guy who has close-blood on his hands, then they probably will not suffer any more after they are under my wing.
Allison has such a nice set of...uh fuck that!
i am thinking of walking away anyway and just ignoring this.
Sunday, 24 February 2013
Maybe I am kinda lost here
I an I, wanna rule my destiny...
and not be led by the hand, PLEASE
I mean, here I am, seeing and ignoring people like Allison driving up and down and even making U-turns at the shop, and basically giving them a nonchalant finger, and then, there is me realising that I am not even THAT worried about race... unless the woman makes it a deal herself, and then, this morning the same woman whose dog used to always growl and bark at the beach when it saw me, and then run up to me threateningly, and I even kicked it... well, THAT Latino, or Portuguese, woman, who with her short shorts would always be in the company of this chunky-boy type person, drove past this morning when I was walking down from the Just Nuisance steps, having decided to descend from red-hill by those steps instead of the longer way.
now, I am probably just getting paranoid, because from where I stand, as me, myself, I am rather pissed off with these... observers... because they would be... wise to just leave me alone and not remind me of their existence, till I depart, because if I keep on thinking of them, then the chances of me getting really pissed off are rather ... big.
And I may just decide to really exact revenge on the worthless fools.
i mean, I do not have a long time to stay here, so why piss me off?
Staying out of my way would be, to me, a wise move, unless the people are calling me a piss-ant liar, an upstart, someone who is trying to get attention.
OR, if I am in a generous mood, maybe these ladies want me to choose them.
no chance of that!
I am THIS close to just killing them all off, and I am not sure if I will just walk away or do something that makes sure none of them ever see daylight again as I leave.
even if they select themselves, and 5 choose to be with me, I am rather angrier at them than at anyone else, so... I would advise them not to even bother, because I am not going to make anything easy for them.
So, maybe I am lost, but does it not make sense for women to leave me alone than for them to be in my face like this?
i mean, I am thinking of the Colombian neckties i had set aside, and the sons of the mothers that I had promised I would kill, and I am thinking of mothers that I mistakenly said I loved, because I assumed that I could actually CARE what happened to a person, and I am balancing all that against a very NATURAL desire to just throttle people, something I am VERY inclined towards, and trying to figure out just how to do it without tipping the fools off, and so, really, this is NOT the time to push my hand, because I am already more than a little pissed off.
And one thing is for certain, I am NOT leaving without exacting some form of punishment, but the form of it will be a ... surprise... because I am not that stupid that I would let the cat out of the bag before I have made my move on people who watch out for me like a hawk watches for prey from the sky!
Saturday, 23 February 2013
Ok, maybe this is the time to ask:- IS THIS FOR REAL?
Technically, none of this is happening, because it is all too... impossible... to be true, right?
lets start at the beginning;- whichever beginning one may choose,
Like, why would God want to just come and show His existence to... ME?
like, why would He, when I ask Him what He wants with me, when i am wondering the very same thing, then tell me to be MYSELF, and why, would He , when I am about to quit the Goldbach Conjecture because of more factors [like I did NOT want to please my mother, or... prove... a point to her that if pressed and ridiculed, I WOULD become a 'man' and prover her wrong, and thus... right!] than just the fact that I was getting so depressed I was sure I couuld never solve it, then tell me to 'try the falco effect'?
like, was it REALLY God, or was I deluded?
like, did I REALLY try to kill myself or was I fishing for sympathy?
because well, its BEEN about ten years, and my hair should be falling out by now, my weight drastically reduced and my skin should have by now acquired that pock-marked texture as if I had had a million small nuclear bombs explode on me, and I should be definitely senile or having senility symptoms; paranoid, incontinent and practically bedridden, and definitely dying... or about to be dead.
i told someone I was HIV positive and he told me to try another line, he did not buy it.
So, I am either definitely crazy, and delusional, or maybe, just maybe, just probably maybe, I REALLY can NOT die.
I mean, I was THERE when I was as weak as kitten and some guy tried with all his pathetic power to plunge his knife into my neck, and all I remmber was just bunching my neck muscle reflexively, and the knife literally bounced off of me, and, I remember just looking at the likely point of impact when the guy was aiming his knife at my arm, and dismissing the arm as non-lethal, and the guy stuck it there, and we bothe were astonished when I swung that very same arm into the guy's face and knocked him down, with no pain whatsoever evident.
I remember smashing my left hand into a wall, and the knuckle of the smallest finger immediately... and so far... permanently... was knocked back into my hand so that now when I bunch my left fist there is an akwardness.
And I felt no pain.
maybe I have leprosy.
Yes, that is it!
i am insane, delusional and I have leprosy.
right, so this is NOT happening.
it is all a figment of my imagination.
whew, what relief!
for a moment there i thought that it had really been for real, YEAH right!
late yesterday there is me coming face to face with the blond chick I used to meet on the train at Glencairn, and she, from across the road leaving me in no doubt that she had SEEN me, and was rather... shy... about it.
fuck, all the past week I have been seeing her ample posterior, with her back pack on her back, from where I am usually sunk in my chair by the window at the shop, near the train station, and i was wondering just what she would think in the event that things start happening and she ends up recognising herself as part of the ten women whom I had chosen because, technically, they were not averse to me.
now, who, in THIS day and age, would want to be part of a harem, even if, technically, she gets to live forever?
And who would be so... crazy... as to let her daughter sleep with the very same man she herself slept with?
i mean, from MY point of view, it makes perfect sense, but then, women are ... thinking creatures... as well, so who would want to do... THAT?
it is not only unconventional, but quite morally... questionable.
i, of course have no morals to speak of, and would likely do so many crazier things than even those I have let out, but the women? What do they think about it all?
maybe they secretly want something like that, no inhibitions to get in the way of real enjoyment of life, and no serious discussions about things that are best left unsaid, but then, I have an insatiable curiosity. so, how will the women respond to something so decidely... unethical... like being with an avowed racist... responsible... shortly... for the deaths of their fellow white people?
and what if the white people who die there are their family?
OK, let me get that out of the picture:- I will not kill the white people in Hout bay, I will kill the black people in Khayelitsha, to avoid confusion and mistakes, so that I have no one's immediate family at risk.
OK?
besides, am I a racist?
no, I am just a person who does not think anyone comes up to MY standards, someone who is... aloof... from everyone, because I do not ... depend on popular opinion and popular views to get myself from point A to point B.
i have, apparently, independent thinking, not based on convention.
No, there is no... 'apparently'... about it, I AM independent in thought, and definitely a-moral, so much so that I do not particularly care if a woman is married or not, because it is the combo of her thought processes [which must DECIDELY be slanted my way] and her body that excite me.
the poor bastard who she may be with is just warming the bed for me, but when I take over, woe to that woman if she decides that she must have... alternative arrangements.
I guess my own virgins i will grow, and first of all get the acerbic poison out of my system, because frankly, i am bitter with every kind of woman that is currently out there, and then, if i have everyone done to MY satisfaction, then i will be relaxed enough to ... do the girls.
I have always avoided virgins and girls in my whole sexually active life, because i am NOT interested in getting all cosy with the women; I tend to be very sharp with them when they act all goofy, and so, kept everything where possible to just sex, and even then, it was with no thought of a future with them.
thought I was wrong to think like that, and used to beat myself over the head with it, but that is the way it is with me, so, hey, tough buns to the women, they either follow MY way or stay OUT of it, because frankly, I am MORE than likely to kill them than to... kiss... them.
maybe in days to come I will show why.
you people all suck, frankly.
And that is the reason why 7 billion people will shortly be seeing less of life than presently.
forget retirement plans and such.
life as you know it will shortly be very over, and very permanently so!
lets start at the beginning;- whichever beginning one may choose,
Like, why would God want to just come and show His existence to... ME?
like, why would He, when I ask Him what He wants with me, when i am wondering the very same thing, then tell me to be MYSELF, and why, would He , when I am about to quit the Goldbach Conjecture because of more factors [like I did NOT want to please my mother, or... prove... a point to her that if pressed and ridiculed, I WOULD become a 'man' and prover her wrong, and thus... right!] than just the fact that I was getting so depressed I was sure I couuld never solve it, then tell me to 'try the falco effect'?
like, was it REALLY God, or was I deluded?
like, did I REALLY try to kill myself or was I fishing for sympathy?
because well, its BEEN about ten years, and my hair should be falling out by now, my weight drastically reduced and my skin should have by now acquired that pock-marked texture as if I had had a million small nuclear bombs explode on me, and I should be definitely senile or having senility symptoms; paranoid, incontinent and practically bedridden, and definitely dying... or about to be dead.
i told someone I was HIV positive and he told me to try another line, he did not buy it.
So, I am either definitely crazy, and delusional, or maybe, just maybe, just probably maybe, I REALLY can NOT die.
I mean, I was THERE when I was as weak as kitten and some guy tried with all his pathetic power to plunge his knife into my neck, and all I remmber was just bunching my neck muscle reflexively, and the knife literally bounced off of me, and, I remember just looking at the likely point of impact when the guy was aiming his knife at my arm, and dismissing the arm as non-lethal, and the guy stuck it there, and we bothe were astonished when I swung that very same arm into the guy's face and knocked him down, with no pain whatsoever evident.
I remember smashing my left hand into a wall, and the knuckle of the smallest finger immediately... and so far... permanently... was knocked back into my hand so that now when I bunch my left fist there is an akwardness.
And I felt no pain.
maybe I have leprosy.
Yes, that is it!
i am insane, delusional and I have leprosy.
right, so this is NOT happening.
it is all a figment of my imagination.
whew, what relief!
for a moment there i thought that it had really been for real, YEAH right!
late yesterday there is me coming face to face with the blond chick I used to meet on the train at Glencairn, and she, from across the road leaving me in no doubt that she had SEEN me, and was rather... shy... about it.
fuck, all the past week I have been seeing her ample posterior, with her back pack on her back, from where I am usually sunk in my chair by the window at the shop, near the train station, and i was wondering just what she would think in the event that things start happening and she ends up recognising herself as part of the ten women whom I had chosen because, technically, they were not averse to me.
now, who, in THIS day and age, would want to be part of a harem, even if, technically, she gets to live forever?
And who would be so... crazy... as to let her daughter sleep with the very same man she herself slept with?
i mean, from MY point of view, it makes perfect sense, but then, women are ... thinking creatures... as well, so who would want to do... THAT?
it is not only unconventional, but quite morally... questionable.
i, of course have no morals to speak of, and would likely do so many crazier things than even those I have let out, but the women? What do they think about it all?
maybe they secretly want something like that, no inhibitions to get in the way of real enjoyment of life, and no serious discussions about things that are best left unsaid, but then, I have an insatiable curiosity. so, how will the women respond to something so decidely... unethical... like being with an avowed racist... responsible... shortly... for the deaths of their fellow white people?
and what if the white people who die there are their family?
OK, let me get that out of the picture:- I will not kill the white people in Hout bay, I will kill the black people in Khayelitsha, to avoid confusion and mistakes, so that I have no one's immediate family at risk.
OK?
besides, am I a racist?
no, I am just a person who does not think anyone comes up to MY standards, someone who is... aloof... from everyone, because I do not ... depend on popular opinion and popular views to get myself from point A to point B.
i have, apparently, independent thinking, not based on convention.
No, there is no... 'apparently'... about it, I AM independent in thought, and definitely a-moral, so much so that I do not particularly care if a woman is married or not, because it is the combo of her thought processes [which must DECIDELY be slanted my way] and her body that excite me.
the poor bastard who she may be with is just warming the bed for me, but when I take over, woe to that woman if she decides that she must have... alternative arrangements.
I guess my own virgins i will grow, and first of all get the acerbic poison out of my system, because frankly, i am bitter with every kind of woman that is currently out there, and then, if i have everyone done to MY satisfaction, then i will be relaxed enough to ... do the girls.
I have always avoided virgins and girls in my whole sexually active life, because i am NOT interested in getting all cosy with the women; I tend to be very sharp with them when they act all goofy, and so, kept everything where possible to just sex, and even then, it was with no thought of a future with them.
thought I was wrong to think like that, and used to beat myself over the head with it, but that is the way it is with me, so, hey, tough buns to the women, they either follow MY way or stay OUT of it, because frankly, I am MORE than likely to kill them than to... kiss... them.
maybe in days to come I will show why.
you people all suck, frankly.
And that is the reason why 7 billion people will shortly be seeing less of life than presently.
forget retirement plans and such.
life as you know it will shortly be very over, and very permanently so!
Friday, 22 February 2013
Little fish... get thrown back into the sea
I am getting the hang of this 'be yourself' bit, because i found out yesterday, when I had visualised the whole sequence of me killing people manually and all that, and realising i would need a car, and would have to leap walls and maybe chase cowards so that i kill them and then get my... satisfaction... and i thought, fuck that.
None of these people are worth the trouble; they are so afraid for their lives that none of them would put up much of a fight.
So, maybe much to their relief the sodding bastards and bitches, I am letting them go; they are little fish, and anyway, I have all the time in the world to deal with them in more... painfully calculated... ways, yesss!
I wanted to just flood the whole of the False bay area on my departure, but since much of my activities are likely to destroy world economies, and thus, even detract from the well-being of my fucking sodding stupid parents, and well, on my scale they are more important than any other creature walking this earth, I can NOT have that, so, I will... limit... my activities.
I wanted to destroy Khayelitsha and Harare, but then, let us face it, these people have been oppressed by the white people, and I can not further burden them, so, I will destroy Hout Bay instead, because it is a well-known fact that money loss gets notice.
but then, if Hout Bay does not get me the Lord Nelson Hotel, I will destroy the Cape flats [white to coloured], and then I will destroy Khayelitsha, which should leave me dealing directly with zuma, because if I am not listened to even then, I will have no option but to totally ruin South Africa.
i hope it is noted that I am not really interested in the well-being of people, just in having my way, at whatever cost, and as i have found out, we can up the tempo all the way till the speakers burst, and I will not have reached my upper threshold, because
None of these people are worth the trouble; they are so afraid for their lives that none of them would put up much of a fight.
So, maybe much to their relief the sodding bastards and bitches, I am letting them go; they are little fish, and anyway, I have all the time in the world to deal with them in more... painfully calculated... ways, yesss!
I wanted to just flood the whole of the False bay area on my departure, but since much of my activities are likely to destroy world economies, and thus, even detract from the well-being of my fucking sodding stupid parents, and well, on my scale they are more important than any other creature walking this earth, I can NOT have that, so, I will... limit... my activities.
I wanted to destroy Khayelitsha and Harare, but then, let us face it, these people have been oppressed by the white people, and I can not further burden them, so, I will destroy Hout Bay instead, because it is a well-known fact that money loss gets notice.
but then, if Hout Bay does not get me the Lord Nelson Hotel, I will destroy the Cape flats [white to coloured], and then I will destroy Khayelitsha, which should leave me dealing directly with zuma, because if I am not listened to even then, I will have no option but to totally ruin South Africa.
i hope it is noted that I am not really interested in the well-being of people, just in having my way, at whatever cost, and as i have found out, we can up the tempo all the way till the speakers burst, and I will not have reached my upper threshold, because
never we back down
never we stall
man stand firm
like the Great China wall...
never we stall
man stand firm
like the Great China wall...
[and that chant from tok is followed by capleton]
they dont change we gon do something about it
or re-arrange we gon do something about it
dont change we gon do something about;-
continue do it then we say we are gonna slew it
how we killing every chance how we do it to pursue it
oh wah!
they dont change we gon do something about it
or re-arrange we gon do something about it
dont change we gon do something about;-
continue do it then we say we are gonna slew it
how we killing every chance how we do it to pursue it
oh wah!
So, it has reached that point where I HAVE to have my way, and if anyone is stupid enough to get in my way, I will roll all over them like a stream roller, and if they think to get personal, again, remember, I will NEVER back down for any of you little insects, because none of you even comes close to what i am.
speaking of what I am, I was walking home with some guy who told me that a meteor had crashed in Russia some weeks back, and as we talked of the injustices of life, I was just ruminating that God said "Does not MY spirit fill heaven and earth?" and I was a bit put down that God would give me dominion over the earth, but the holy spirit can set all that to naught by a well-placed meteor hit, since he has access to all these things, and i would be left king of... rubble.
no sooner had I thought that than the obvious hit me, but because you are you and I am not, i will have to explain it to you, so we have no one thinking there are any grey areas, yesss?
Now, God said at first when He made the man that the man would be 'out of' His image, and 'in' his likeness, and THEY should be left to have dominion over the whole earth, yes?
God later says that He is the One Who is and Was and Is to come, yes?
with me so far?
right!
God is the... MIND, who thinks Now of what was, and what will be and uses that to say what IS... like he said to Moses, "tell them I Am has sent you", if they ask His name, see?
This is the 'in OUR likeness' God was talking about, because the man was supposed to THINK like God.
Did the man fail?
Technically he never had a chance from the word go, because the holy spirit literally infested him from the start, and he was.. driven to think not of the future but of the present only, and so, when God addressed the man directly he was already saying what will be based on what was; that the man was indeed but dust, and would be killed by the awareness that he did not have the... god-nature... in the day he ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
So, it never happened that the man had dominion over the earth, which is why God Himself intervened many times to keep the show sort of on the road.
then comes... me, and God never did anything straightforward as far as I am concerned, and i have put everything to the test and had to come to some amazing conclusions, and He has said certain things to me directly that made me realise, maybe for the first time last night as i walked to red-hill, that He is not making me some sort of... replacement for the failure before... but He made something totally different.
God made me, and He did something... unique.
Knowing that I had no one I looked up to, and I was closed off from everyone... or would be... He made sure I would be an... impregnable castle... by from the beginning giving me part of the ONLY unchangeable ... essence... anywhere;
He gave me part of Himself, so I am, unlike the ... first man, made 'in His image' and "in His likeness'
i have a soul like God, meaning, therefore by simple extrapolation, I am NOT limited to just this earth, but over all that exists, which means that I can do things to even the sun, the stars, and not have anything say... nay.
which explains why it was written that, "the sun shall be turned to darkness, and the moon to blood, before the great and dreadful day of the lord"
So, I do not just have to say, "earth, do this, or that", but EVERYTHING, is under me.
I am, literally, the Almighty.
now, how is that for total control?
Getting the picture? And why I really do not have to bother about little fish like these little people who are NOTHING even remotely like me?
And why I may just decide... something utterly terrible as sort of... co-ercion... to have my way?
Oh, I like this, yessssss!
I am going to enjoy leaving michelle biting the dust and just being made utterly insignificant by my... rising.
Who has time for such assholes anyway.
they are like toys I have outgrown, and now, I have a whole universe to play in... YESSSSS!
Wonder what I will do first?
let us start with basics, like earthquake and lava in Hout Bay.
i love fire! like king julian. Its nothing personal, its just we are better than you...
whatever happened to the separation of the classes! ah ha ha ha!
speaking of what I am, I was walking home with some guy who told me that a meteor had crashed in Russia some weeks back, and as we talked of the injustices of life, I was just ruminating that God said "Does not MY spirit fill heaven and earth?" and I was a bit put down that God would give me dominion over the earth, but the holy spirit can set all that to naught by a well-placed meteor hit, since he has access to all these things, and i would be left king of... rubble.
no sooner had I thought that than the obvious hit me, but because you are you and I am not, i will have to explain it to you, so we have no one thinking there are any grey areas, yesss?
Now, God said at first when He made the man that the man would be 'out of' His image, and 'in' his likeness, and THEY should be left to have dominion over the whole earth, yes?
God later says that He is the One Who is and Was and Is to come, yes?
with me so far?
right!
God is the... MIND, who thinks Now of what was, and what will be and uses that to say what IS... like he said to Moses, "tell them I Am has sent you", if they ask His name, see?
This is the 'in OUR likeness' God was talking about, because the man was supposed to THINK like God.
Did the man fail?
Technically he never had a chance from the word go, because the holy spirit literally infested him from the start, and he was.. driven to think not of the future but of the present only, and so, when God addressed the man directly he was already saying what will be based on what was; that the man was indeed but dust, and would be killed by the awareness that he did not have the... god-nature... in the day he ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
So, it never happened that the man had dominion over the earth, which is why God Himself intervened many times to keep the show sort of on the road.
then comes... me, and God never did anything straightforward as far as I am concerned, and i have put everything to the test and had to come to some amazing conclusions, and He has said certain things to me directly that made me realise, maybe for the first time last night as i walked to red-hill, that He is not making me some sort of... replacement for the failure before... but He made something totally different.
God made me, and He did something... unique.
Knowing that I had no one I looked up to, and I was closed off from everyone... or would be... He made sure I would be an... impregnable castle... by from the beginning giving me part of the ONLY unchangeable ... essence... anywhere;
He gave me part of Himself, so I am, unlike the ... first man, made 'in His image' and "in His likeness'
i have a soul like God, meaning, therefore by simple extrapolation, I am NOT limited to just this earth, but over all that exists, which means that I can do things to even the sun, the stars, and not have anything say... nay.
which explains why it was written that, "the sun shall be turned to darkness, and the moon to blood, before the great and dreadful day of the lord"
So, I do not just have to say, "earth, do this, or that", but EVERYTHING, is under me.
I am, literally, the Almighty.
now, how is that for total control?
Getting the picture? And why I really do not have to bother about little fish like these little people who are NOTHING even remotely like me?
And why I may just decide... something utterly terrible as sort of... co-ercion... to have my way?
Oh, I like this, yessssss!
I am going to enjoy leaving michelle biting the dust and just being made utterly insignificant by my... rising.
Who has time for such assholes anyway.
they are like toys I have outgrown, and now, I have a whole universe to play in... YESSSSS!
Wonder what I will do first?
let us start with basics, like earthquake and lava in Hout Bay.
i love fire! like king julian. Its nothing personal, its just we are better than you...
whatever happened to the separation of the classes! ah ha ha ha!
Thursday, 21 February 2013
I am going to... ENJOY... the coming days
Several years the elder, my cousin came to me with the belief that I would kow-tow to him because he was senior and said some choice things based on that and whatever he perceives to be... family... honour.
I ended up promising him that if he ever showed up anymore near me, he would not have a life to worry about, and that must have shaken him.
apparently, he assumed that I was somehow... interested... in family ties, so, just to REALLY disabuse him of that, I am going to do more than I promised; I am going to hunt him down wherever he is and physically maul him, because some things he said to me would never have been said to me by a stranger.
He is so very DEAD ! Yesss!
and fuck this protection for Zimbabwe and parents' lives, they will suffer like anyone else, and I will never again even consider their welfare as being of any... relevance... to me, because they have died to me long ago, and it was only the memory of them that I kept in me, and sense of... obligation... towards them.
as of this moment, I have no intention of ever putting their welfare to heart.
whatever happens to them is of no concern to me, and I will not even watch out for them.
this frees me for the bigger things, which are... me, myself, and I, and fuck everyone else.
So, the shack dwellers die, darkness descends, and I go on my killing spree, and I start with the very person I just saw a few moments ago, one who cemented my resolve to really murder the fools:- butt-head.
he parked his car right at the alley where the art-shop is located, and called his 'boy' to get some stuff to his car, and I looked at him,because I was just getting there when he showed up.
And all my 'good intentions' folded and got torn into a million pieces, because right there and then I knew that I would really LOVE to smash his ugly mug in with my bare fist, and I would enjoy keeping on pummellling him till every bone in his body was just mince meat. OH, yesss!
Oh, very YESSSS!
And fuck it, I have no discrimination as far as women are concerned; I WILL kill michelle, again with my bare hands, and added to that are these people:
manners mudzibwa [strand]
faggot-face [simonstown]
moto mia [simonstown]
chunky -boy [simonstown]
sam murimba [kommetjie]
wayne whitelane [capricorn]
desirea whitelane [capricorn]
prince mushonga [capricorn]
yess, I can not afford to just walk away and leave these, people who have seriously offended me and I have been unable to do anything about it because the holy spirit was holding a big stick with 'humiliation' written on it, over me in case i gave in to my impulses and did as i felt like and he would take advantage of that to sink me further into despair.
so, I deal with him, and then I deal with... THEM, and I am going to enjoy these coming days, as i spew forth my unadulterated fury... OH YESSS!... and encompass the whole earth, til not a single blade of grass retains its normal colour, YESSS!
Because the holy spirit will be shaken by the darkness,the deaths, and the calling forth of the ten women, since he specifically added the text :" for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh", and I will knock all that out by not only letting my parents go, but also by having more than one woman, and putting the 'one flesh' part in its proper place.
then, while they are gathered there at the hotel, I will begin my nefarious activities, and when I have killed everyone that ... upset me... I will leave the whole land in a deep frost for several months, and the gaping holes will not cover themselves over till i have no more... upset... on the planet.
till, in the end, there is only ONE, one lord, one male, one dominator, and one king, and everything is under my complete control.
then shall the earth be healed, and be broken up no more.
oh, yes, and if the jews thought they would be persecuted but redeemed when their saviour came, they are in for a rude shock, because the very day the darkness descends is the day their whole homeland has a waterfall ... descend... on it, and for the next... however long years... it will be totally underwater:-
i am not good at some math; I mean, 2006 I was 24, and i got told that I had 15 years added onto my life, which means the 15 years expire when I am 39, which is 2021, and therefore, since we are now in 2013, there remain eight years and some months before I have everything set in order.... which means, on one hand, i can take my time before going for the jugular, and on the other hand, that I am in for a fight of some sort, so why not start it all with a bang!
yep, i will enjoy pitting my... unbending nature... against the whole concentrated might of the entire planet, the spirit world and... people.
i never take what I am offered or begrudged, but only what I appreciate for myself, so, when it comes to certain... fools... who assume that i am going to receive... scraps from them, ah well, let me just say; join the ever growing list; I would LOVE to end your miserable lives as well.
OH VERY VEERRRY YESSSS!
I ended up promising him that if he ever showed up anymore near me, he would not have a life to worry about, and that must have shaken him.
apparently, he assumed that I was somehow... interested... in family ties, so, just to REALLY disabuse him of that, I am going to do more than I promised; I am going to hunt him down wherever he is and physically maul him, because some things he said to me would never have been said to me by a stranger.
He is so very DEAD ! Yesss!
and fuck this protection for Zimbabwe and parents' lives, they will suffer like anyone else, and I will never again even consider their welfare as being of any... relevance... to me, because they have died to me long ago, and it was only the memory of them that I kept in me, and sense of... obligation... towards them.
as of this moment, I have no intention of ever putting their welfare to heart.
whatever happens to them is of no concern to me, and I will not even watch out for them.
this frees me for the bigger things, which are... me, myself, and I, and fuck everyone else.
So, the shack dwellers die, darkness descends, and I go on my killing spree, and I start with the very person I just saw a few moments ago, one who cemented my resolve to really murder the fools:- butt-head.
he parked his car right at the alley where the art-shop is located, and called his 'boy' to get some stuff to his car, and I looked at him,because I was just getting there when he showed up.
And all my 'good intentions' folded and got torn into a million pieces, because right there and then I knew that I would really LOVE to smash his ugly mug in with my bare fist, and I would enjoy keeping on pummellling him till every bone in his body was just mince meat. OH, yesss!
Oh, very YESSSS!
And fuck it, I have no discrimination as far as women are concerned; I WILL kill michelle, again with my bare hands, and added to that are these people:
manners mudzibwa [strand]
faggot-face [simonstown]
moto mia [simonstown]
chunky -boy [simonstown]
sam murimba [kommetjie]
wayne whitelane [capricorn]
desirea whitelane [capricorn]
prince mushonga [capricorn]
yess, I can not afford to just walk away and leave these, people who have seriously offended me and I have been unable to do anything about it because the holy spirit was holding a big stick with 'humiliation' written on it, over me in case i gave in to my impulses and did as i felt like and he would take advantage of that to sink me further into despair.
so, I deal with him, and then I deal with... THEM, and I am going to enjoy these coming days, as i spew forth my unadulterated fury... OH YESSS!... and encompass the whole earth, til not a single blade of grass retains its normal colour, YESSS!
Because the holy spirit will be shaken by the darkness,the deaths, and the calling forth of the ten women, since he specifically added the text :" for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh", and I will knock all that out by not only letting my parents go, but also by having more than one woman, and putting the 'one flesh' part in its proper place.
then, while they are gathered there at the hotel, I will begin my nefarious activities, and when I have killed everyone that ... upset me... I will leave the whole land in a deep frost for several months, and the gaping holes will not cover themselves over till i have no more... upset... on the planet.
till, in the end, there is only ONE, one lord, one male, one dominator, and one king, and everything is under my complete control.
then shall the earth be healed, and be broken up no more.
oh, yes, and if the jews thought they would be persecuted but redeemed when their saviour came, they are in for a rude shock, because the very day the darkness descends is the day their whole homeland has a waterfall ... descend... on it, and for the next... however long years... it will be totally underwater:-
i am not good at some math; I mean, 2006 I was 24, and i got told that I had 15 years added onto my life, which means the 15 years expire when I am 39, which is 2021, and therefore, since we are now in 2013, there remain eight years and some months before I have everything set in order.... which means, on one hand, i can take my time before going for the jugular, and on the other hand, that I am in for a fight of some sort, so why not start it all with a bang!
yep, i will enjoy pitting my... unbending nature... against the whole concentrated might of the entire planet, the spirit world and... people.
i never take what I am offered or begrudged, but only what I appreciate for myself, so, when it comes to certain... fools... who assume that i am going to receive... scraps from them, ah well, let me just say; join the ever growing list; I would LOVE to end your miserable lives as well.
OH VERY VEERRRY YESSSS!
dead end, dead end, dead end, dead end
They dont know
who we be
[they will soon know
who we be]
co we be the ones who hit hard
if someone tells you dont cry
he is a bastard
if you wanna know why
then you are a retard
because I'll make you cry
and there's no ref to give a red card...]
NO ONE INTERFERES!
I AM THE JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
They dont know
who we be
[they will soon know
who we be]
co we be the ones who hit hard
if someone tells you dont cry
he is a bastard
if you wanna know why
then you are a retard
because I'll make you cry
and there's no ref to give a red card...]
NO ONE INTERFERES!
I AM THE JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Wednesday, 20 February 2013
Another ... stumbling block!
I have a cousin who is meddling in my past and doesnt have the guts to confront me about stuff, and I am getting pissed off at him... well, I will have to deal with him soon, but THAT is minor as compared to what is REALLy bothering me.
I am busy the whole night rejecting everything and everyone, and i work out that i am not parent material, and that "73" meant Psalm 73, so i do not have to take the women with their daughters, and so, i am saying, OK, so who are the remaining three, and i work myself into a knot and then come back to the realisation that 7,3, meant exactly that, the seven women and the three mothers, and that the three had appeal because I would not REALLY be a father, but something in between, and so, I come back to the visions, and there, sticking out like a sore thumb, is the nicky? business.
now, frankly, I hate the bitch, but I can not argue that if it quacks like an odd duck, and walks like an odd duck, then it probably IS an odd duck, and some of the things i saw about that woman were so... logical and too futuristic for the mocking holy spirit to have been the instigator of it all, because he could not have assumed that i would take the i-will-take-the-mother-and-the-daughter-as-well-but-not-in-the-conventional-way approach, since, though I KNEW that if i was involved with a mother and a daughter, i WOULD do that, I had never let on that I would.
because so far all my... naughtiness... has been conventional, and never that much of a bother to anyone.
so, let me say that nicky? was convinced by whatever rubbish i wrote on sunday 22 may to change her tune and look at me in a different light.
still, i feel like killing her, and yet, i can not overlook the fact that she was even earlier portrayed as a pregnant woman, long before the clash that revealed her name to me through forgetfull cindy dollery, and she was saying, 'so what am i, a recess project?', and then later... i did not mention this part, because i tend to take everything with a pinch of salt, and not pay attention too much because this is not... real... but she later... well, fuck that!
i hate her, even if she may feel different about me.
even if she would be willing to take what I spared, but then, push comes to shove, I DID say i would have women who would make up their own minds, without any blindness, to be with me, so, i am rather at odds and ends here.
i am, however no longer ... inclined... towards killing her, because of these developments, but hey, gimme a break, please; of all the women, why the one whose brother(s?) i have to kill?
anyway, looked at dispassionately, I think that if she were one of the five, then it would be her, her mother, her sister, allison, and... michelle's sister?
why michelle's sister?
truth to tell, i do not particularly like any of these women, not really; I was trying to avoid bloodshed before when I looked for other ways out of this, like banishing the males to some place, but since I actually want to KILL the males anyway, and will not let anything stand in my way in that regard, i wonder whether this is just another... academic exercise, where nothing really materialises.
fuck, i am fed up with this!
I am busy the whole night rejecting everything and everyone, and i work out that i am not parent material, and that "73" meant Psalm 73, so i do not have to take the women with their daughters, and so, i am saying, OK, so who are the remaining three, and i work myself into a knot and then come back to the realisation that 7,3, meant exactly that, the seven women and the three mothers, and that the three had appeal because I would not REALLY be a father, but something in between, and so, I come back to the visions, and there, sticking out like a sore thumb, is the nicky? business.
now, frankly, I hate the bitch, but I can not argue that if it quacks like an odd duck, and walks like an odd duck, then it probably IS an odd duck, and some of the things i saw about that woman were so... logical and too futuristic for the mocking holy spirit to have been the instigator of it all, because he could not have assumed that i would take the i-will-take-the-mother-and-the-daughter-as-well-but-not-in-the-conventional-way approach, since, though I KNEW that if i was involved with a mother and a daughter, i WOULD do that, I had never let on that I would.
because so far all my... naughtiness... has been conventional, and never that much of a bother to anyone.
so, let me say that nicky? was convinced by whatever rubbish i wrote on sunday 22 may to change her tune and look at me in a different light.
still, i feel like killing her, and yet, i can not overlook the fact that she was even earlier portrayed as a pregnant woman, long before the clash that revealed her name to me through forgetfull cindy dollery, and she was saying, 'so what am i, a recess project?', and then later... i did not mention this part, because i tend to take everything with a pinch of salt, and not pay attention too much because this is not... real... but she later... well, fuck that!
i hate her, even if she may feel different about me.
even if she would be willing to take what I spared, but then, push comes to shove, I DID say i would have women who would make up their own minds, without any blindness, to be with me, so, i am rather at odds and ends here.
i am, however no longer ... inclined... towards killing her, because of these developments, but hey, gimme a break, please; of all the women, why the one whose brother(s?) i have to kill?
anyway, looked at dispassionately, I think that if she were one of the five, then it would be her, her mother, her sister, allison, and... michelle's sister?
why michelle's sister?
truth to tell, i do not particularly like any of these women, not really; I was trying to avoid bloodshed before when I looked for other ways out of this, like banishing the males to some place, but since I actually want to KILL the males anyway, and will not let anything stand in my way in that regard, i wonder whether this is just another... academic exercise, where nothing really materialises.
fuck, i am fed up with this!
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
I'm ready now!!!
the gully side full a action pak...!
Since we are putting the sentimental stuff aside for real... hardcore blood and guts, people, i tell you now to expect the worst that you have never thought would happen.
i have seen heroic movies, like the Armageddon stuff, where principled men and women stand tall in the face of impossible odds, and well, this is not a movie, where a director can yell "cut!" when a line is mis-read, or actors get some time out for make-up and stuff.
This is real, umitigated, unpretentious, full-blown RAGE sweeping the whole of the world, and trust THIS, you will feel it, and no-one will have sound sleep from this moment on, because I am on the warpath, and everyone, as far as I am concerned, is in my path, and that matters little, because you are all doomed to die anyway, and death has a new name, a new form, the stalker-by-night; the dark man from the lowest places, the shadow-warrior; the prince of the earth; the lord over all that creeps and crawls and flies on this earth; the indestructible, intractible killing machine:- ME, and I am gunning for the whole of the earth, YESSSS!
And, of course, the theme is....
in the end, there shall be only one!
because, you see, if you read isaiah 53, you will understand one thing; that isaiah was not speaking about the "arm" of the lord as being an entity, but rather the 'power' of the lord, and that lord was mentioned as a distinct entity from God Himself, because that lord grew up as a green shoot, despised and a man of sorrows, who made a... grave for himself... [now christ had a grave made for him]... among the wicked, check, and with the rich in his death....
only thing is, God later says that when he has made his soul an offering for sin, ... the pleasure of God shall prosper in his hand.
what is sin but being basically what you are not, and I have repeatedly said that God told me to be myself, and now, I AM, so, let it rip, yesss!!
see your lord, o earth and tremble from your foundations, YESSSS!
i'm ready now!
Since we are putting the sentimental stuff aside for real... hardcore blood and guts, people, i tell you now to expect the worst that you have never thought would happen.
i have seen heroic movies, like the Armageddon stuff, where principled men and women stand tall in the face of impossible odds, and well, this is not a movie, where a director can yell "cut!" when a line is mis-read, or actors get some time out for make-up and stuff.
This is real, umitigated, unpretentious, full-blown RAGE sweeping the whole of the world, and trust THIS, you will feel it, and no-one will have sound sleep from this moment on, because I am on the warpath, and everyone, as far as I am concerned, is in my path, and that matters little, because you are all doomed to die anyway, and death has a new name, a new form, the stalker-by-night; the dark man from the lowest places, the shadow-warrior; the prince of the earth; the lord over all that creeps and crawls and flies on this earth; the indestructible, intractible killing machine:- ME, and I am gunning for the whole of the earth, YESSSS!
And, of course, the theme is....
in the end, there shall be only one!
because, you see, if you read isaiah 53, you will understand one thing; that isaiah was not speaking about the "arm" of the lord as being an entity, but rather the 'power' of the lord, and that lord was mentioned as a distinct entity from God Himself, because that lord grew up as a green shoot, despised and a man of sorrows, who made a... grave for himself... [now christ had a grave made for him]... among the wicked, check, and with the rich in his death....
only thing is, God later says that when he has made his soul an offering for sin, ... the pleasure of God shall prosper in his hand.
what is sin but being basically what you are not, and I have repeatedly said that God told me to be myself, and now, I AM, so, let it rip, yesss!!
see your lord, o earth and tremble from your foundations, YESSSS!
i'm ready now!
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