House Cleaning
After what happened on Saturday here at the library, which took me some time to assimilate, I had to come down to earth about everything, and about where I am headed.
What should have been 'Action week' turned into a piss-poor performance, and caused me no small loss of humour as everything just went south, but, after I got my head screwed on straight, I decided to do the... obvious, and after everything, get to the point where God can say, "Speak, friend, and enter" as He shuts the door.
Saturday:
Some days before, I had been outside the library, basking in the sun and I saw the librarian lady I spoke of coming from a ways off, and, because the whole thing is ridiculous [what do I say to her, "hi, I am the guy who is going to take you and your daughters and destroy the world but you will live forever so lets get to know each other"] I looked away, and stared at this other girl who was walking ahead of her, not because I was interested but because I was not sure of my ground.
She walked past. I walked into the library opening time, she was nowhere to be seen. Ditto same day. Then the next. Started thinking about the OSC 'oversight committee' in Simonstown, wondered if it had gotten here as well, but I put it all out of my mind.
Saturday, got to the lib. late in time for the second session, and there she was, visible. Sat at the end, because, nearest the counter, facing it, because the computer there was the only free one, and started posting, yes?
Some time later, she leaves the counter, and walks my way, stops a bit near me as if to orient herself, then goes to the bookshelves behind me, and it was only later that I realise something significant;- the lady has a very fragile ego, her sense of self worth is very low; she thought I was preferring the other girl to her, and my being late may have eased her somewhat?
Anyway, from that tme on it was settled that I would NOT be looking for other women, after I leave.
I looked at the vision of the silver spoon, and worked out that the one being 'born' to rule was... me, meaning I left my childhood 'hanging on my mother's whims' and started ruling, but based on 25 women that had made a... man of me. All of them had to be women I would NOT have to run after, women I would have easy access to, women who would have to be... locally available, and ... prone to wanting me. Women I would take at one time and have no other.
That being so, I ended up rejecting five out of the so far twenty-four, and replacing every single one of them, but I STILL havent gotten to the 25th.
The Pastor, Karen. God never said He would... rip Out His spirit up on all flesh, but ...pour... so it means that dislodging the holy spirit will NOT be a day's job, but a continous struggle, and anyway, having a woman who will speak gibberish and go on an on about the equality of man and woman would irritate me. I have replaced her with the lady I spoke of on facebook, but since I am barred there, [which means the FIRST thing to go along with obama is facebook, so NO ONE will go there], I will speak about her again here;
The Dragon- girl: I was working at the art shop when this girl, dressed like a witch in balck from head to toe, walked up with a guy and another girl. She bought a dragon, but the maker said it was not yet finished, he wanted to bead the 'horns' and so she said she would come back later. She did, he was still not done so she stood next to me and we had the following conversation, with me starting:
"I take it you are not from around here"
"I am a Capetonian" -direct look
"born and bred?" -skeptical
"yes"
"well, you do not have the customary arrogance of capetomians"
"Thank you"... after a pause. I was floored, because it is unthinkable for a person of a certain race to accede that the comments of a person of another race are not derogatory and to be taken at face value. hell, this refreshing chick is a great welcome to the black hole that is michelle...ever taking in and giving nothing out, except when she thinks you have dis' ed her. Well, fuck her, actually, not even that. I am conscientious about where I put my dick, certainly NOT in diseased places.
The shop lady Well, after Solomon, and the incidental knowledge that someone was interfering in what I am doing {OK, here this from me now. I decided that I would focus on LEAVING first, but I will certainly NOT just walk away. Michelle deserves punishment; words are nothing, so does Nicky? and butt-head. Now I am seriously pissed with the mom of the last pair, because she thinks by interposing herslf she will let matters roll away. NO. I have made up my mind that the least thing I will do to butt-head is to kneecap him and send him to Zimbabwe... if I do not decide to kill him out of hand and send him to hell. Now, the last time she irritated me by interfering. I backed off, because I was getting nowhere. However, she does it one more time, when I get back, then I WILL kill her, because her being a mom is NOTHING to me. I willdeal with those who have insulted me as I see fit, and will NOT be interfered with by anyone, because I DECIDE WHO LIVES OR DIESand will brook no interference from anyone. Her daughters? I will think of what to do TO them, if I decide NOT to kill them, but as for michelle, I am just waiting for the opportunity that she may present, just ONE step out of line and I will kill her... horribly. BUT< as I said, I made up my mind that my departure comes first, and anyway, if I hurt some women along the way, what I do is I... kill them, so that they may know that I have NO remorse. Or rather, God kills them, as I said on Saturday}I saw that just a well-preserved face was NOT what I was interested in, so I dumped the woman, and took the fast car girl... you know, the one I wrote about who... smiled, whom I rejected, because I was not sure of my gorund as vision-wise? hell, the girl smiled at me, same as the blue eyed woman at the library when I was irritated by the short-ugly -girl returning her DVD.
The Dutch girl, who came and left. Saw this other chick some time past, in red, with gorgeous legs, blonde, who welcomed me one day with 'library opens at half-nine' when I walked in, then started calling a guy to fix her car, as she had 'cabin-fever'. Saw her the next day, and she had a little girl with her. Daughter? hope so. coz she would come too.
German girls. replaced by Carol's sister, who has a daughter also, and also the girl I met first at Simonstown library and then later at theGlencairn station. Wrote about both in COUNTING NUMBERS.
