When my father, dispensing his version of advice to his only son, said to me that when I do good HIS name would be remembered, and when I do bad I spoiled his name, I realised that to him, I was not a person, but something that had to eternally do penance because he chose to unload his sperm on my mother and had me as a result.
So, of course, I will always screw them both, and if they think that because I have decided to go... public I will worry about their standing in society and tone down a little, well, they better harden their faces, because, frankly, just as they both never - when it was in their power to acknowledge me as a person - did so, I am waiting NOW for them to make the slightest peep even remotely resembling... confrontation, and I WILL kill them, with my bare hands, and to hell with everything about wanting them to not go to hell... because we ARE enemies, have been and will always be, so I have no soft side for them.
they want to contest my ways, please, bring it here, because I will pay it back, with interest.
But then, THEY are not the only ones that have me gnashing my teeth, and boiling for revenge.
I was somewhat disconcerted when I found that because nothing was forbidden me, I could go pretty much where I pleased; it meant that Sam, my, 'friend' had no safe haven from me. I wanted that to change, so I decided to re-instate the 'I-will-make-you-mad-first' clause I had told him about: Taking the Jordanian girl and the two German girls... and actually bringing the Jordanian girl to him one time, and probably showing off to his face, baiting him, because I want the fool to get to the point where his anger overcomes his fear, and THEN I will nail him, good and proper.
Then there is the stupid holy spirit, who all this time walks around thinking he has a 'say' in what happens in my life:-well, I am making him aware that I exercise my... prerogative to... order... such as I choose to come to me, when I choose, like the German chick Diane Kruger, who acted as 'Hellen' in "TROY", AND so is the cause for 'the greatest war fought for love'... because my beef with the stupid, illiterate, mendicant, upstart, invidious, recidivist, dirty, mongrel is that he DARED tell ME how to live my life, and usurped a position that is neither his to have nor ANYONE's to have by assuming that I NEEDED a guide, or helping hand.
Oh, God, how I wish that, at the end of it all I could kill him myself, and go into one-one-one combat with him and tear him to pieces! You are unlimited, and this is the ONE thing I fervently BEG of YOU, PLEASE, PLEASE let there be found a way to reduce him to the same space-and-time frame like me, and I can then deal with him, and extinguish the arrogance that he has used as a cloak to make himself ... unaccountable to anyone. OK, so I may NOT kill him, but I could send him to hell.
There must be a way. I want that. And Christ too. And all the angels and demons as a bonus, but the holy spirit FIRST, because its PERSONAL, and I want to make him pay, dearly, continuously, unendingly, for daring to tread me underfoot!
There remains, as an addendum or attachment to the said fool;- the holy spirit, this other fool who, surprisingly, is the one woman to have irritated me beyond measure;-michelle, and well, she also enters the 'I-want-to-make-you-suffer-first' category, because I will be baiting her till she dies [I will deal with butt-head later, but for now, I want the little bith to suffer, as I show her that 'ANYBODY but her' will suit me fine] and the first thing I want to do is forget my rule that I would have nothing to do with mother-and-daughter combo's.
Now, listen carefully: I will NOT look after another man's child, nor will I be a surrogate father, but what I will DO is take mother and daughter for MYSELF, and ignore the mother-daughter bond, especially as soon as the child is old enough to be... taken. In the meantime, I may as well... groom the child... in the way she should go, so that when she is ripe I would be less disappointed than I am with the current crop of women, and at least be assured of having for myself... a virgin, in whose sight I am not only first, but ONLY... ever.
What made me think thusly has been this chick I have been seeing since Monday... well, truthfully, I have seen her in Fish-Hoek a lot since I use the route past her workplace to go to the library, but then, on Monday, as I was walking back to Sunny-Cove station, she appeared in front of me, and she was wearing this tight pair of tights that left me with no need to imagine what her anatomy is like, at all.
the first thing I saw was her ass, and I thought, mmm, small, I can put my hand on this and totally encompass it, but hey look at that ... gap... between her thighs, just beneath her ass, and the way the two cheeks wiggle as she moves; mmm, I like!
She is slender, small, and she has been showing up at the same time that I have been moving around, except... Tuesday... when I said something about NOT wanting anything to do with women and kids.
I did not see her them, which made me sit up, and listen to what I was being told about my... rigidity... concerning issues I do not care that much about.
because, you see, she has a daughter, whom I think is old enough to dress and undress herself now, and I would see both at the "His and Hers" shop, maybe because the daughter likes the place or something,because I am sure the mother works at the Tears shop, and she is a pretty little thing, with dark hair and an... as i said... interesting physique.
So, just to entertain myself with needling a few people, I will take these five and add them to my 15, and have 20, so that I can have variety. I am NOT counting kids as yet, because they are not... women. But then, neither will I stoop as low as my mother thought I had at the beginning, by having anything to do with a married woman.
I will take those NOT so... attached, with a measure of independence to themselves.
