I reasoned that he could have given His... Voice... to absolutely anyone, and that it has to be cause=> effect, not premeditation => cause => biased effect;- that is, there must have been a valid REASON that made it absolutely necessary that I have this... protection.
Well, I spoke of my ... pedigree, from my father's grandfather to myself, and the curious lives they led, till 4th generation me's birth, and so, I ... suppose... it would be in my genes, see?
To reject EVERYTHING about life and society's mores, right?
to be totally... isolated... from everything, insular, and ... alone... from birth.
A person FREE to hate everything and everyone regardless of ... bond.
A person UNFIT to... do well according to the form's of the world.
THAT is me.
AND THAT is why I needed protection.
And why I can NOT forgive.
And, of course, God being God, He made the... first man... from the red earth, hence the name, Adam, meaning red, meaning the first woman would not have been the same colour, otherwise that would be rendundant thinking, see?
And, as far as i am concerned, brown -euphemistically known as... black... by the 'better placed'- is much closer to the original brown-red than pink -known also as... white... by the same ... kind.
And, of course, I did not need to have a HELPER made for me, but I have had the helper from the start, and ther has therefore never been any... conflict.
Now, I had another question that I had to have an answer to, and that wa, WTF did the women really see in me, the FIRST ten, that made them REALLY behave so weirdly, because I do not buy the crap of 'lordship' or all that jazz.
Figured out that, since michelle brought it to the fore by her stepping on my toes, these women saw an ANGRY black man.
A PROUD, angry black man, who despise everything about their baseless 'superiority' and blames them for the way the black man- this one in particular- suffers because they are 'above' the black man.
The ten women, make no mistake about it, humbled themselves before me, and the other ten did NOT walk all over me as they so chose, but saw me, sort of, as a stern, unyielding taskmaster-type who tolerated no friendliness or familiarity from anyone, although why they should, some of them, or rather ALL of them, would want to gain my approval, would be beyond me, because that is excatly what they did.
Maybe, then, they DID see something that was NOT... natural. maybe it is the Voice, that they heard that this is the LORD, the apex predator, the one who has the lives-or, more appropriately, the deaths- of all peoples in his hands, and does not give a fuck.
because basing it merely on the natural is... NOT quite getting there.
now, I was speaking of being diappointed, and my post of yesterday went to deviate from what i wanted, really, because, see, I grew up with my eyes open, judging everything, and storing it up, and getting to the point where I would conclude, about any person, that if it had NOT been that, like my mother, who KNEW how to do some good and chose to pretend to others about her... attachment... when she wanted me dead;- she had assumed that I would never have the ... authority... to be above her, scratch that, to be her... superior... she would never have done to me what she did. She despised me, so, fuck, who cares about the family ties, she goes to the deepest part, the hottest part of hell, and there she burns for all eternity, and fuck what jesus said abut the rich man being able to speak to abraham and lazarus in paradise;- there will be no confernces, because people will be busy burning, and too busy weeping to care who their neigbour is. It was that parable that jesus spoke of that made me think that i would still have to ... look after... my family even down there, and i hated it.
Just as, in real life, i hate that french girl that inkfish girl, and she DID read my posts, see, and the other day that we bumped into each other at the junction, and her 'boyfriend' was going to go straight on to avoid me while she turned towards me, she said to him, 'no come with me',a nd I knew that the scheming bitch was ... defying me, and i understood the 'william' allusion, and knew its source.
because ther is a song that goes, 'this is an orange/a nice nice orange/ a sweet sweet orange/ a cent can buy', meaning that I was that cheap
william-of-orange person who would fall easily for any woman and would seek to conquer other stuff.
No need to ask who was so... helpful, right?
About allison I am ambivalent, because i do NOT know whether she is in fact involved with that pull-up-his-trousers-to-the-waist guy, or whther there is an innocent explanation, but I happen to tend towards NOT giving anyone any room to play me for a fool, and I am inclined, both with her and the french girl, to feed them those people, and then, since i have thought about it, and i am leaving no one alive when I do go, since, of course, the POINT to my being...here... at all is to END lives, I am of the opinion that I will probably have to kill her, allison, unless I have proof to the contrary.
Another reason why I am likely NOT to kill her is that the woman who was to replace her, although better looking, was too... relaxed about things, and if it had not been for the Walker texas Ranger vision where she, probably, as i see it, thought that, it being month-end and maybe with the guy paying maintanence for the kids it would not be so, bad to have an outing with him, after all who can see, and then, of course, she disregarded the fact that, 'the eyes of the Ranger are upon her, any wrong she does he is gonna see' and so, I think she decided that sunday to walk the straight and narrow, but THAT, if it is the same MO that allison uses, makes her NO better than allison, although better looking, of course, but heck, I can NOT judge the woman based on another woman who does not act better than her, or did not, thinking i do not see everything. So, maybe, she gets to leave.
But Fuck, living with a woman with facial hair? Hell, no. I would throw up, so that come-to-church woman is outta the picture, and THAT means that all that is left are the S/Town women, and if I consider butt-head's mom, allison?, andthe Latino girl, that leaves two possibles to bring michelle to the dust before i kill her, and among these, three, there is only ONE, the latino woman , that I am really more than 50% sure of, the rest are deceptive.
BUT i can NOT hane dealings with a woman who bares her teeth, the small one with the red cheeks, because I am the quintessential aggressive man, and bared teetth are a sign to start fighting, so, excuse me there.
ANYWAY, all this is likely to be an academic exercise, because I am ready to roll, and fuck, I need to have some of these women under me, literally? What does one have to do for sex in this world.
Oh, and by the way, I WILL have the countries where these women have been ... had... totally destroyed, and who cares if at the same time i destroy hereditary colonial...
'masters'?
