I am still a bit ... hesitant... to come out fully, but , let us suppose that, well, I could have everything the way I wanted it; what would I say right now I ... liked?
First, I hate to see all my words go to waste, see?
So, i would rather test my claim of yesterday that I can take on anyone anytime anyday, with or without weapons. Which means, ideally, I would PREFER to beat up and kill people, not only BECAUSE to begin with, everyone is essentially in my way, but also because those who ARE in my way take great pains to show it. So, those who HAVE pissed me off, will die, by my hand, male or female.
On the other hand, I HAVE to say this, that I would blame God for me being... hurt... by people, and there being no... compensation for it, since I, unfortunately, can NOT forget any wrong done to me, but I have , weirdly enough, almost no real recollection of the 'wrongs' I may have done to others.The point there is basically, as i am finding out, that I was BORN a king, and did not have to... become... one; I just had to get to the point where I learn to accept the fact that this world is meant for me to... shape it... the way I want, to have exactly what I think and hope for, because I was like a blank page that people decided to write on, their graffiti and stuff, till I realised I could not lie down and take anymore and STILL function.
WELL, if one takes God's word to ME at face value, then I, technically, am the ONLY right person in the world, and I already have dominion within my grasp, so, why NOT make it into a practical thing and grasp what is offered?
So, I suppose that I am free to kill whosoever and whatsoever displeases me.
Which is a funny thing, there because there ARE already 20 females that... pleased me here, and I was working it out last night and felt quite pleased that I had spotted my error before anyone else did:-
Now, I spoke about 'fifteen seconds to get out of here', and said there were ALREADY nine women other than the original ten to 'build that thing' but , of course, i was... wrong, because among the nine is a ... virgin, a first, not a second[which fact, frankly leaves me with a bit of... unease, because i have rather large endowments and I am NOT keen on giving out pain - not that I care, but, well, if a person evinces pain i tend to want to take advantage; the bunched-fist-way, so I do NOT know just what God is up to there, but I suppose there will be found a way round that, I guess], which would mean I was wrong, see, about the ...women.
But i was not, see, because the days I left S/Town, I used to wake up, g down to F/Hoek beach, and then after a bit of a wash, go to the library, and THEN go see charles, and it was in one of these days that I saw this ... interesting chick. She was walking towards me as i came down from what used to be a train station, see, and she had this red shawl-like thing wrapped around her upper body, and her lower body was basically bare. I WANTED to look, because something was prickling at my senses, but then I thought, she is white, i would get dirty looks, and almost certainly be insulted for seeking to be above my station in her eyes, so i just passed by;- it was , like everything with me, a momentary whim, see?
[unfortunately, it is THESE whims that God uses to get me to look at myself more, did He not say He was 'starting with the man in the mirror'?]
Anyway, I walk rather slowly for most people, and so i was not particularly surprised that the girl, who had short hair, and was rather slim, should walk past me again. What surprised me was that she walked right UNDER my elbow, not quite touching me but almost as if demanding attention, and I looked, especially at the place i WOULD have looked had i been given the 'go-ahead' by her to look the first time as she faced me.
She had this very interesting... ass... with the cheeks seeming to be playing tennis or something but never coming into contact as she walked.In other words, she had this... gap between her legs... that made me want, literally to touch her right ... there as she walked past. FOUND out last night that while this girl was literally asking me to look and enjoy the sight [maybe she does not drooled at enough] God was using her to have me get, literally ...over... some other fixation.
She made me think about the S/Town girl who works here in F/hoek and who later was to walk all over me as she tried, ostensibly, to get me to... I don't know... run after HER? DROOL over her? Compose poetry about her? Something like that, I think.
WELL, I CAN SAY WITH SATISFACTION THAT SHE IS DEAD AND ALL THOSE FEMALES WHO POSTURED AROUND ME AS WELL, ALL THOSE I HAVE ALREADY HAD REPLACEMENTS FOR.
Now, about the 20th woman and all that, I am frankly NOT interested in having anything but the revenge I planned;- I WANT michelle to SEE women that have been in her and her 'boyfriend's' lives, and see them come over to me, and THEN I will kill her when i have won my pissing contest.
Of course, the women themselves do NOT mean much to me, and if they are NOT willing to come to me, I will just have to kill them as well. I am NOT in love with any of them, I just do NOT want any mere mortal to get the upper hand over me and think she is something when she is worth less than dirt to me.
I think, as i have said before, the ONLY woman who is safe with me is one that is NOT hard to get, does not over inflate her importance with me, and does NOT try to have me look after her kids. Butt-head's mom fails on all counts, because of her fixation with her kids, so, i am thinking I will HAVE to kill her as well, which means that i will have to look for another explanation to the... riddle.
Since to me, it is ... all or nothing, and I do not... negotiate.
And just so you know, the people who die will be going to hell, and burn forever,. because, as i look at myself, and am never satisfied with mere physical retribution, I will never say that those who are hurt or in pain have had enough till my wounds close. Since they NEVER close, so the people will always suffer, till infinity.
Now, as i pointed out, Saturday is the beginning, and I will have all the black people in the Southern Hemisphere dead, first, and all my family and relatives in the Northern half dead as well, and I will leave some black people alive so that when i go killing your... best fighters up there, i may have a cloak of concealment and maybe, at the same time, get some other chicks to make up for the other women who have ... provoked me, see?
NOW, I think that is more and more... being myself, and having a unique DNA. YESSSSS!
