I tried it for one night, and found I couldn't hack it, and when I woke up the folowing morning, determined to get my claws into the assholes in S/Town even if it turned back to bite me, even if I would be exposed, I got as far as F/Hoek, before the soft Voice repeating over and over the words of Sean Paul's We Change the Game lyrics ... overcame me, because of course
none stop we driving this train
yo we hit with the over-ride we nuh backslide
So, I did not go there, but I sat, and made some stuff, and sold stuff, and then, around two p.m, went into Pick-n-Pay, bought some food, and started on my way back, and saw the Kalk Bay Inkfish 'french chick' walking around in F/Hoek, and foundmyself feeling more and more hopeless.
Which is when I started my monologue with God, and you know, when The Almighty hears you speak about your ... problem, and how you are saying that, basically, Him in charge is part of the problem, because unless He decides that He will wipe off everyone's memory or start again with fresh people, there there is NO way that I am going to be able to ever hold my head up high unless He takes His hands off and does the unthinkable, really, of letting me have ALL the power and the ability, even the unnatural, because if He doesn't I will be forever a cipher, someone everyone knows will always have God's lap to cry on, and no one will havce any reespect for me, at all;- and SO, when one says those things, and hears The Almighty say that He cares for ... one... and He ... understands, then, one's perspective is... changed
Which is when I started my monologue with God, and you know, when The Almighty hears you speak about your ... problem, and how you are saying that, basically, Him in charge is part of the problem, because unless He decides that He will wipe off everyone's memory or start again with fresh people, there there is NO way that I am going to be able to ever hold my head up high unless He takes His hands off and does the unthinkable, really, of letting me have ALL the power and the ability, even the unnatural, because if He doesn't I will be forever a cipher, someone everyone knows will always have God's lap to cry on, and no one will havce any reespect for me, at all;- and SO, when one says those things, and hears The Almighty say that He cares for ... one... and He ... understands, then, one's perspective is... changed
Because it was only THEN that I realised that He HAD already decided that ALL authority WOULD be given into my hands, which is why He , from the beginning, gave me the.. VOICE, whom I will call Rumble, and why He has never distingusihed Himself from me,but, like with the last statement, He seems to... hide... with me, so that the statement that should have said, "I have sworn and will Not repent..." just went "has sworn and will not repent" as if He is chary of ... intruding on my personal space, and drawing attention to Himself, and WHY, for the same reason He NEVER gives a direct order, but suggestions.
Basically, therefore, when I do move, He will not be noticeable, and He will be of, as He pointed out, thin violence.
BUT, that be not the really juicy news, the juicy news be this, that there are twenty... women, already, and He, canny as He is, waited till there WERE twenty, before He made me aware of how we are... the same.
Because there was this day that I said I would wait till the following day for a change from the osc, namely from butt-head's mom, before I acted, and well, I did NOT have to wait. I thinbk it was last wednesday, and the funny thing was that, just as with the German girl Verana, God had shown me previoulsy a 'flash image' of a person I knew [in the case of the german girl it was a girl I used to get on the train with when I was staying in Claremont, and she is a student at Fish-hoek high, and well, her face is not the sort to draw admiring looks, but when I ignored her, and then cncentrated on just living my life, I was later to see the real person that He meant, and while she did not ... look spicy at all, she at least had unquestionable interest in me, AND she got me to draw back from butt-head's mom, and leave S/Town] in this case a woman I meet at the library, who has as much sex appeal as a load of rocks would have, and the following day, on Monday, and it was raining, and I was late to the library, I saw the woman, and again judt put the thing into the back of my mind, but went on high alert;- well, I was later to see just who He had meant, even though it took me some time to grasp that THIS was the last of the ... palace... women, who ... 'dwelt in darkness'; and this is how it happened:
Wewdnesday, I wenbt to the library, gave my ultimatum, and then went to the beach where I started making some stuff while displaying some,and this chick, with a bland face, nothing noticeable about it, came past me from the Sunny Cove side of Jager's walk and as she went past,m flashed the most friendliest smile I have ever seen, direct at me, and I, not getting the sense, asked her if she would like to buy something from me, and she said, in a warm, friendly voice, that she saw that the pieces were nice but was maybe some other day, thanks, and it was when she passed that I gave thought to her... posterior, and man, she looked good from the back.
AND she was a... negative... of the ONLY girl I have ever stayed with and never laid a hand on, although in a positive sense, her being whiyte while the other girl, who went, in RSA by the name, Faith, while her given, original, name was, when translated, Peace, or... Quiet, and I think that the REASON why I never laid a hand on her was that she came to me on hewr own, of her own volition, when I was staying in the drug-dealer's flat, and she stayed in the flat under me.
And it was seeing this chick that began to answer the one question I have had about women, like how I would be able to keep myself from doing them harm, and the answer is, if they decide to come to me themselves, without any co-ercion from me.
Anyway, I lost interest in ... business after seeing the woman walk past, and so,after concluding that she had gone to the restaurant nearby, I walked over, and past, intent on seeing if this woman, good-looking as she was, was indeed, free.
And there she was, on a bench outside the restaurant , with a coffee cup before her, and as I passed she seemed intent on a spot somewhere on the table, and I looked at her hands and so no trace of... possession. She had no ring.
Basically, therefore, when I do move, He will not be noticeable, and He will be of, as He pointed out, thin violence.
BUT, that be not the really juicy news, the juicy news be this, that there are twenty... women, already, and He, canny as He is, waited till there WERE twenty, before He made me aware of how we are... the same.
Because there was this day that I said I would wait till the following day for a change from the osc, namely from butt-head's mom, before I acted, and well, I did NOT have to wait. I thinbk it was last wednesday, and the funny thing was that, just as with the German girl Verana, God had shown me previoulsy a 'flash image' of a person I knew [in the case of the german girl it was a girl I used to get on the train with when I was staying in Claremont, and she is a student at Fish-hoek high, and well, her face is not the sort to draw admiring looks, but when I ignored her, and then cncentrated on just living my life, I was later to see the real person that He meant, and while she did not ... look spicy at all, she at least had unquestionable interest in me, AND she got me to draw back from butt-head's mom, and leave S/Town] in this case a woman I meet at the library, who has as much sex appeal as a load of rocks would have, and the following day, on Monday, and it was raining, and I was late to the library, I saw the woman, and again judt put the thing into the back of my mind, but went on high alert;- well, I was later to see just who He had meant, even though it took me some time to grasp that THIS was the last of the ... palace... women, who ... 'dwelt in darkness'; and this is how it happened:
Wewdnesday, I wenbt to the library, gave my ultimatum, and then went to the beach where I started making some stuff while displaying some,and this chick, with a bland face, nothing noticeable about it, came past me from the Sunny Cove side of Jager's walk and as she went past,m flashed the most friendliest smile I have ever seen, direct at me, and I, not getting the sense, asked her if she would like to buy something from me, and she said, in a warm, friendly voice, that she saw that the pieces were nice but was maybe some other day, thanks, and it was when she passed that I gave thought to her... posterior, and man, she looked good from the back.
AND she was a... negative... of the ONLY girl I have ever stayed with and never laid a hand on, although in a positive sense, her being whiyte while the other girl, who went, in RSA by the name, Faith, while her given, original, name was, when translated, Peace, or... Quiet, and I think that the REASON why I never laid a hand on her was that she came to me on hewr own, of her own volition, when I was staying in the drug-dealer's flat, and she stayed in the flat under me.
And it was seeing this chick that began to answer the one question I have had about women, like how I would be able to keep myself from doing them harm, and the answer is, if they decide to come to me themselves, without any co-ercion from me.
Anyway, I lost interest in ... business after seeing the woman walk past, and so,after concluding that she had gone to the restaurant nearby, I walked over, and past, intent on seeing if this woman, good-looking as she was, was indeed, free.
And there she was, on a bench outside the restaurant , with a coffee cup before her, and as I passed she seemed intent on a spot somewhere on the table, and I looked at her hands and so no trace of... possession. She had no ring.
I walked past, and it took me till yesterday to figure that my wome were complete, and that these would respond when I called.
So, now it is time to issue THE ultimatum;-
to the five of the osc that I.. picked, and THIS time it is valid for 24 hours after I post this.
to nicky? who to me is not, like butt-head's mom, someone I link with butt-head, but with michelle, as her FRIEND, well, she has 24hrs to come out, with her daughter, and find me a place where we can be alone but in view of the osc, and then after her, a day later the latino and the girl with the red cheeks will come, and then after THAT the two remaining sisters.
OR, I come out, and when I MOVE this time, there will be DARKNESS, and people will die, because it is MY decision as to when things will occur.
OR, of course, you can all attempt your own solutions.
BUT I assure you all, I AM going to kill people.
THIS is MY story
So, now it is time to issue THE ultimatum;-
to the five of the osc that I.. picked, and THIS time it is valid for 24 hours after I post this.
to nicky? who to me is not, like butt-head's mom, someone I link with butt-head, but with michelle, as her FRIEND, well, she has 24hrs to come out, with her daughter, and find me a place where we can be alone but in view of the osc, and then after her, a day later the latino and the girl with the red cheeks will come, and then after THAT the two remaining sisters.
OR, I come out, and when I MOVE this time, there will be DARKNESS, and people will die, because it is MY decision as to when things will occur.
OR, of course, you can all attempt your own solutions.
BUT I assure you all, I AM going to kill people.
THIS is MY story
