First, I have to say that there is NO sense if God is NOT in charge, and, well, He is, and so, what I wrote on Saturday about taking over from Him was born out of frustration because I did NOT understand what was going on.
Indeed He had said to me, "In Him we live and move and have our being,
and existence exists in Him,
to Him who sees will go the crown"
so, of course it was and will always be, a moot point that regardless of what happens, He will be... in charge.
But, Saturday, again in my frustration, I said I was taking over, yes? Well, technically, I was just ... freeing... myself from my... human obligations.
Let me put it this way:- When a child was born in biblical times, and he was the firstborn son, he had till the same day a week later to be... presented... before the temple of God, which is eight days.
So, come rain come thunder, by THIS Saturday, the 'fruits' of my taking over will be manifesting themselves.[my parents and all that will be ... no more]
Which, basically, means, people will be dying, and just to paint a graphic picture, it means every black person on the planet, every person in the countries in which the... women... are from and have been 'known' will also die, except of course in Holland, till the girl comes from there, see?
And even here in south africa, as soon as I leave, every living thing will be dead.
because it is time for the End of all flesh ...to... begin.
BUT, I am, as God said, an academic, and what has been holding things up has been that, I have been hurt, see?, and once hurt, I tend to want to take action, but, God, Who is responsible for me being HERE against my will, would NOT take it well that I have to seek recourse to personal actionwhen He has a solution that does not mean I have to remain fixated on doing the same thing over and over again.
Like with sex.
Once I got fixated on it, I could NOT let it go, hence, I guess the rather large number of women, even though EVERY single one of them is there to... cover up... for some pain someon else inflicted.
Now, I was very convinced that there would be only 18 women, and when, yesterday, God said to me, "tell Me what you want from Me", and then, "tell Me what you want", I was not quite ready to grasp the issue, and when I saw that gorgeous girl that was to... replace... the disappointment... allison caused that Friday, I was rather disturbed.
I was thinking that the vision could be... wrong, or not meaning her [I will explain why in a moment], but then, I could not get over the fact that in the vision I was walking up to the second storey and when she reached a door, it was NOT at the end of the ... block, but somewhat in the middle.
it meant there was possible... room.. for TWO more, and when God was asking me what was bothering me, I was stressing about the french voice.
I have a probably strange memory, which means I 'hear' even now, the tone of voice my mother, for example, used when she was out to get me, and it still disturbs me, which is probably why female voices have to be of a certain type,otherwise I fly into rage.
So, i was worried that the last one did not speak with a french voice,so I could 'get over' allison.
Yesterday, I sat, after the sexy one had left, outside the cafe' Olympia, on the chairs provided, which was the cafe' the sexy lady had been in, with Sydney,and I was framing and beginning to plaster another horse, and then, I happened to look up and into the shop, and this white lady, with an attractive face, and glasses, was staring at me and she smiled. I smiled back, and then thought she probably was feeling sympathetic or something, and resolutely looked away, and kept on .. working.
When I looked her way again she was no longer staring at me, and when she came out,she passed by without a word. Later, me and Sydney decided we would leave, and I went with him to fish Hoek, to the net, but as we reached the end of the block where the cafe' is, there was the lady, and she had on a black cravat and she and Sydney engaged in a conversation as we waited for a lull in the rain.
As she spoke, my senses went into high alert, because although she spoke English fluently, there was a certain drag to her ending sentences that meant she was a foreigner, and as I listened to her speak of how she wanted to go look at the seals but it was raining so much, I realised she spoke French as a mother tongue, and I was stumped, of course.
Till I worked out that it is God's way of... dealing... with my problems. So I do not have to deal with them myself.
Which means that, since all OTHER women have been done away with, and I have no REASON to remain here unless of course, it is to 'get over' butt-head's mom, well, then all I have to do is wait and see, and then, before Saturday, I ought to have a... replacement, because all the other fake ones have been exposed, yes?
like the line in the song by Sean Paul;-
thats why all the fake ones them getting exposed!
