Either I am sending mixed signals, or really, the thing is, everything I say is of NO use to anyone, because i really do NOT want anyone near me...
Funny thing, I was walking to kalk bay, and it was really galling me that anyone would ... profit... from what I had written, as if they ... mattered... and I was, as a result, not my usual chirpy self, but, as i reached vinnie's stall, and -ah, here I must confess that ever since I brought up the sight issue, I have had limited visibility so that I can not make out some things in the dark, so, I was NOT even thinking about what I assume the silly fools would assume I was thinking of; I just did not see them- I decided to vault over the wall instead of walking to the alley and then climbing up. It was only as I greeted vinnie that I discovered that the 'smart chick' and her friend were walking past, and my day was done, and I was enjoying myself the whole day.
i mean, either the silly fools have not got it into their heads that they actually have their own destinies in their hands, or they think that I actually care about their silly lives.
I will be glad to disabuse them of THAT when I reach the end of my metamorphosis.
I actually spent the day looking at various women, and while I was doing that, frankly to gall the contemporary art chick, who I assumed was peeking through her windows at what was happening below, and who had shown up showing her legs, which are not that bad, but who was STILL rubbing me up the wrong way, as she waited, I concluded, for me to pave the way for her to have a a life with me [ha, dream on!] I was still busy assesing things, and finding out one thing, about myself.
I am fed up.
And have reached my boiling point.
I SAID i am becoming something different, and this is fast becoming reality.
Very fast.
And I can NOT lie to myself or to anyone that I will make ... room... for anyone in my life. All I know is that there are women that have made me get 'a handle' on who I am, and it is by trying to figure out my effect on these women that I have found out just how different I am from anything I have encountered, and it is this growing acknowledgement of my nature that is making me less and less tolerant of little insects that pester me.
From we burn chichiman
and we go burn sodomite
& everybody bawl out say
that's right
when we burn hypocrite
and we go burn parasite
& everybody bawl out say
that's right
and we burn down carriage
with a stick of dynamite
everybody bawl out
say that's right...
straight and the narrow road that we be 'pon
coz the road one lead to destruction
Funny thing, I was walking to kalk bay, and it was really galling me that anyone would ... profit... from what I had written, as if they ... mattered... and I was, as a result, not my usual chirpy self, but, as i reached vinnie's stall, and -ah, here I must confess that ever since I brought up the sight issue, I have had limited visibility so that I can not make out some things in the dark, so, I was NOT even thinking about what I assume the silly fools would assume I was thinking of; I just did not see them- I decided to vault over the wall instead of walking to the alley and then climbing up. It was only as I greeted vinnie that I discovered that the 'smart chick' and her friend were walking past, and my day was done, and I was enjoying myself the whole day.
i mean, either the silly fools have not got it into their heads that they actually have their own destinies in their hands, or they think that I actually care about their silly lives.
I will be glad to disabuse them of THAT when I reach the end of my metamorphosis.
I actually spent the day looking at various women, and while I was doing that, frankly to gall the contemporary art chick, who I assumed was peeking through her windows at what was happening below, and who had shown up showing her legs, which are not that bad, but who was STILL rubbing me up the wrong way, as she waited, I concluded, for me to pave the way for her to have a a life with me [ha, dream on!] I was still busy assesing things, and finding out one thing, about myself.
I am fed up.
And have reached my boiling point.
I SAID i am becoming something different, and this is fast becoming reality.
Very fast.
And I can NOT lie to myself or to anyone that I will make ... room... for anyone in my life. All I know is that there are women that have made me get 'a handle' on who I am, and it is by trying to figure out my effect on these women that I have found out just how different I am from anything I have encountered, and it is this growing acknowledgement of my nature that is making me less and less tolerant of little insects that pester me.
From we burn chichiman
and we go burn sodomite
& everybody bawl out say
that's right
when we burn hypocrite
and we go burn parasite
& everybody bawl out say
that's right
and we burn down carriage
with a stick of dynamite
everybody bawl out
say that's right...
straight and the narrow road that we be 'pon
coz the road one lead to destruction
So, my POINT, is this, that I will do NOTHING whatsoever to help a person that has eyes, ears and a head of her own so that I can have the displeasure of having that person near me, for even any amount of time.
I have, apparently, in the time that I have tried to get God mad at me, become a person that at the same time does and says things that are of no help to anyone, an academic, unless of course the things I say are the things that promise death and destruction, which is the issue as far as I am concerned, the thing that I am really focused on, and I am fast catching up to my real nature, and getting ready to knock out some teeth and end some lives, and hey, I am indestructible, and fear nothing, and have an agenda;- to totally destroy every living thing on the planet, except for those that have actually made it possible for me to have no reason to trample on them, the women that honoured me when no one else, in his or her right mind, would.
And I count twenty-one women, twenty locals and one foreigner, as well as one girl.
Oh, yeah, says one, but you spoke of a vision that God gave you about 'fifteen seconds' that were given to you 'by you' to get out of here.
I am easy on that score. It COULD be that the five women that do not count are women that, as far as I am concerned, did the exact thing that has happened here, tried to hang on to my words, and use none of their own initiative, and thus, made a fool of me, as if what I say about what I am is just a dream. So, if THAT is the case, then I will not have these women with me, because they have made a fool of me, and I am, at present fed up with all of them, because I seem to be carrying a bleeding heart for peopel I do not, when you get right down to it, want.
I mean, anyone could have the best pair of legs around, or the best ass or whatever, but the ONLY reason I would look twice at the person is if I am satisfied that the person is a thinking person who figures out for herself what she wants, and tries to find a non-offensive, totally self-determined, way to get whst she wants, and that would have to be, in this context, me myself and I, ONLY, and nothing else.
So, smarty-pants, I am not even going to BOTHER asking you to give up your family, or friends; it is something that [fuck, I have no need to lie about the women I met, or what their actions meant to me, because I have no need to impress anyone, since I value your opinions as little as a flea bite on an elephant's skin matters to the elephant] is not even worth discussing, or you, art chick, if indeed you are the one who has a child, and are married, it is not evn a thing for me to evn have to hear that you walk around as a married woman, or a mother, or that I will ever hear from you the ... 'name' of your significant others, so, hey, to hell with you, or any of the others who have caused my heart and my mood to darken more and more till now i have shut the door on everyone and everything else, and now, the dragon that has been sleeping is awakening, and I am, sorry [for you] to say, is taking an ACTIVE interest in what happens. Oh, yesss!
This is where the following would be appropriate, yessss!
You have had God as your Light, as your Protection, but now that time draws to an end, and I am taking over. I know, this seems like a megalomaniac's dream, but then, facts have a way of being rather... stubborn, see?
And, at the same time, I am taking over YOUR lives, and assuming my position as The God of War, The God of All Flesh, and so, of course, the only kind of flesh, if it was not supine, or indicating such, BEFORE I was anything, will be spared none at all, and there will be nothing but death and scorched earth for all of you, yesss!
So, appeal to your God, and see if He will save you now, or call, and see if a rescuer will come your way, as I...
I have, apparently, in the time that I have tried to get God mad at me, become a person that at the same time does and says things that are of no help to anyone, an academic, unless of course the things I say are the things that promise death and destruction, which is the issue as far as I am concerned, the thing that I am really focused on, and I am fast catching up to my real nature, and getting ready to knock out some teeth and end some lives, and hey, I am indestructible, and fear nothing, and have an agenda;- to totally destroy every living thing on the planet, except for those that have actually made it possible for me to have no reason to trample on them, the women that honoured me when no one else, in his or her right mind, would.
And I count twenty-one women, twenty locals and one foreigner, as well as one girl.
Oh, yeah, says one, but you spoke of a vision that God gave you about 'fifteen seconds' that were given to you 'by you' to get out of here.
I am easy on that score. It COULD be that the five women that do not count are women that, as far as I am concerned, did the exact thing that has happened here, tried to hang on to my words, and use none of their own initiative, and thus, made a fool of me, as if what I say about what I am is just a dream. So, if THAT is the case, then I will not have these women with me, because they have made a fool of me, and I am, at present fed up with all of them, because I seem to be carrying a bleeding heart for peopel I do not, when you get right down to it, want.
I mean, anyone could have the best pair of legs around, or the best ass or whatever, but the ONLY reason I would look twice at the person is if I am satisfied that the person is a thinking person who figures out for herself what she wants, and tries to find a non-offensive, totally self-determined, way to get whst she wants, and that would have to be, in this context, me myself and I, ONLY, and nothing else.
So, smarty-pants, I am not even going to BOTHER asking you to give up your family, or friends; it is something that [fuck, I have no need to lie about the women I met, or what their actions meant to me, because I have no need to impress anyone, since I value your opinions as little as a flea bite on an elephant's skin matters to the elephant] is not even worth discussing, or you, art chick, if indeed you are the one who has a child, and are married, it is not evn a thing for me to evn have to hear that you walk around as a married woman, or a mother, or that I will ever hear from you the ... 'name' of your significant others, so, hey, to hell with you, or any of the others who have caused my heart and my mood to darken more and more till now i have shut the door on everyone and everything else, and now, the dragon that has been sleeping is awakening, and I am, sorry [for you] to say, is taking an ACTIVE interest in what happens. Oh, yesss!
This is where the following would be appropriate, yessss!
So, appeal to your God, and see if He will save you now, or call, and see if a rescuer will come your way, as I...
unleash the dragon
I am thinking more and more about the intense, almost overpowering feeling I have had any time i have had the opportunity to slip free from 'civilised' behaviour and put my life on the line, and actually take on hman beings in combat. It was liberating, it was addictive, and I will be honest, it is the only time I have ever felt really free.
And I have always thought I would end up NOT being free, ever, but it turns out that the God I had assumed restrained me has NOT been doing that, I have had no 'knowledge' [=> an at-the-moment-awareness] of just WTF was happening and what I am. Now, I know that no one has the power to stop me, and, well, I am fusing with the 'synergy' and giving in to my inclinations. OK, I am NOT sure when that will happen, but I think I can count the hours, and not the weeks, because what it is is ready to burst out, and well, it is all pure ME, and I happen to be the ONLY person that can claim, not only from an academic viewpoint [like, you know, theoretical] but from a practical point of view as well, to be 100% the fulfillment of the promises by God about one who will be 'born' to those that dwelt in darkness, and as is the case, one can really agree with me about how this 'revolution' was achieved in ... public.
Now, i will admit I am rather skeptical still, but, as I know things, even THAT will pass, and soon, I am going to grasp everything in both hands, and THEN, the moment that happens, the deed will be done, and every last promise will be fullfilled.
take, for example, the promise that the sun shall be darkened, and the moon turned to blood .
I mean, God is the sun, did He not promise Daniel that when the abomination [that makes 'dark'] stood where it ought not, then the glory would depart from Israel? And since christ, who can not justify being the 'son-of-man' or even the king of the 'daughters of zion' which thing you have read me reporting HAPPENING tried to be the usurper of that power, and was not even THE Man, then his power is not correct, and so that which was supposed to flow from God,m the light of God, has turned from light to blood because the true LIGHT, that which shines on those that were leading gloomy lives in darkness, is NOW about to be cast, and it does nOT derive its light from God, as such, meaning I am NOT God's servant, in the sense that I am under God, but rather, that I am fulfilling a role that He created, evenb if against my natural inclinations in one respect. There will be no moon in my life, no one who acts for or speaks for me. I will be the alpha and omega, and you, little insects will be fodder for my fire.
I will incinerate you and use your bodies for manure, yesss!
So, of course, if the end has to come for you, then it will come.
And, as I said before, nothing can stop me. TRY. Oh, please, try. You never know, you could be the last thing I need to totally ignite, and you would have the dubious distinction of being the first person to put to the test the fact that I am intent on ending lives, period.Yesss!
Of course, I wanted to start with my mother, and then michelle, and then the osc, and work my way down to the other riffraff, which means I am either going to re-arrange things if I am not to have women in my life that do not need to be held back till I kill some of everything, or am I just being sentimental? I mean, the old me, the one that has grown up trying to ... care.. and offering sacrifice of 'love' could still be tugging at the heart, so, I am not sure there,so, I need to work THAT one out, because, frankly, even if the women were to come to me I would have no idea what to do with them except to kill them. They HAVE after all, angered me, and have made fun of everyting about me, so how the fuck would they be able to look me in the eye?I mean, the blonde art chick, maybe to show me just how wrong I am about everything, had her hair tied today, and it seemed, when she walked to the bakery, she was wearing a skirt, and her legs were bare, and something just happened to me,a nd I decided I would NOT try to understand the bitches any more, I am going to end this farce NOW. I am going to ask her, of course, just what the fuck was going on, but by then, she will wish she had never been born. And I will have no unconcluded business, yesss?
YESSSSSSSSS!
Oh, yessss!
I think I have spoken enough. I REFUSE to remain a public object. My purpose has fallen through, and I am making a mockery of myself holding on to something that has outlived its purpose, so NOW, fuck, live with the effects. I will not be bothered anymore.
I am DONE, gatvol, and ready fir whatever.
And I have always thought I would end up NOT being free, ever, but it turns out that the God I had assumed restrained me has NOT been doing that, I have had no 'knowledge' [=> an at-the-moment-awareness] of just WTF was happening and what I am. Now, I know that no one has the power to stop me, and, well, I am fusing with the 'synergy' and giving in to my inclinations. OK, I am NOT sure when that will happen, but I think I can count the hours, and not the weeks, because what it is is ready to burst out, and well, it is all pure ME, and I happen to be the ONLY person that can claim, not only from an academic viewpoint [like, you know, theoretical] but from a practical point of view as well, to be 100% the fulfillment of the promises by God about one who will be 'born' to those that dwelt in darkness, and as is the case, one can really agree with me about how this 'revolution' was achieved in ... public.
Now, i will admit I am rather skeptical still, but, as I know things, even THAT will pass, and soon, I am going to grasp everything in both hands, and THEN, the moment that happens, the deed will be done, and every last promise will be fullfilled.
take, for example, the promise that the sun shall be darkened, and the moon turned to blood .
I mean, God is the sun, did He not promise Daniel that when the abomination [that makes 'dark'] stood where it ought not, then the glory would depart from Israel? And since christ, who can not justify being the 'son-of-man' or even the king of the 'daughters of zion' which thing you have read me reporting HAPPENING tried to be the usurper of that power, and was not even THE Man, then his power is not correct, and so that which was supposed to flow from God,m the light of God, has turned from light to blood because the true LIGHT, that which shines on those that were leading gloomy lives in darkness, is NOW about to be cast, and it does nOT derive its light from God, as such, meaning I am NOT God's servant, in the sense that I am under God, but rather, that I am fulfilling a role that He created, evenb if against my natural inclinations in one respect. There will be no moon in my life, no one who acts for or speaks for me. I will be the alpha and omega, and you, little insects will be fodder for my fire.
I will incinerate you and use your bodies for manure, yesss!
So, of course, if the end has to come for you, then it will come.
And, as I said before, nothing can stop me. TRY. Oh, please, try. You never know, you could be the last thing I need to totally ignite, and you would have the dubious distinction of being the first person to put to the test the fact that I am intent on ending lives, period.Yesss!
Of course, I wanted to start with my mother, and then michelle, and then the osc, and work my way down to the other riffraff, which means I am either going to re-arrange things if I am not to have women in my life that do not need to be held back till I kill some of everything, or am I just being sentimental? I mean, the old me, the one that has grown up trying to ... care.. and offering sacrifice of 'love' could still be tugging at the heart, so, I am not sure there,so, I need to work THAT one out, because, frankly, even if the women were to come to me I would have no idea what to do with them except to kill them. They HAVE after all, angered me, and have made fun of everyting about me, so how the fuck would they be able to look me in the eye?I mean, the blonde art chick, maybe to show me just how wrong I am about everything, had her hair tied today, and it seemed, when she walked to the bakery, she was wearing a skirt, and her legs were bare, and something just happened to me,a nd I decided I would NOT try to understand the bitches any more, I am going to end this farce NOW. I am going to ask her, of course, just what the fuck was going on, but by then, she will wish she had never been born. And I will have no unconcluded business, yesss?
YESSSSSSSSS!
Oh, yessss!
I think I have spoken enough. I REFUSE to remain a public object. My purpose has fallen through, and I am making a mockery of myself holding on to something that has outlived its purpose, so NOW, fuck, live with the effects. I will not be bothered anymore.
I am DONE, gatvol, and ready fir whatever.
