Trouble starts for me when I am staying at Happy Valley, and for the first time in my life I wonder if there can exist anyone that could... care... for me, despite everything I have done and everything that has happened.
i do not mean God, because one can not ... hug... God, for instance, but a genuine person with a brain, and no hidden agenda.
That is late 2010, and as i feel a loneliness in me I had never had time to assess before, God steps in with "September 18: Independence Day", and as I said, that was late 2010, maybe November.
I went catatonic, and basically waited to see just what was up. I had learned before that if something is SAID then something WILL happen, regardless of how I feel about it. At that time my thoughts went to this girl who had given me a hug when I felt like less-than-nothing; the day I came out of Valkenberg and I thought THAT meant something, and so, I went to find out.
Now, frankly, I am an excellent judge of... character... and I usually make up my mind about ANYONE within the first moments after I meet her, but call this an... unusual... situation, which is why I was so ... slow on the uptake.
because I could see, but I would not pay attention, because, see, I was at that time ready to give up;- I thought God was now turning the screws and that I had to just buckle under and let Him do as He pleases, because everyone has a breaking point, and I had probably reached mine.
Then, early 2011, michelle walked into my life, and [this, even she would testify if she had even a decent bone in her] I ignored her. Totally. Gave her the cold shoulder so many times that even someone with thermally insulated fingers would have had frost-bite, but then, she kept coming, and since I was feeling fatalistic about God, and wondering what the hell horrors He had planned for me NOW; I let things ride.
could have been decisive, and let her know point blank that I wanted nothing to do with her, but I... vacillated.
And she used that.
Its nonsense for anyone to assume that they do NOT know when they are not wanted, because EVERYONE knows, and she decided not to pay attention.
till the day she took me out. September 18 2011.
And I sat across from her, looking at her, and seeing myself in these settings and realising that, beneath all that let-us-be-friendly exterior, this woman actually wanted to... humble me; bring me down, make me into something she saw me as, which is, nothing more than someone she rides over and gives occasional tidbits of... attention... to, while I relieve her of her burden as a mother.
in short, I was meant to pay for the asshole who gave her the child;- the one that got away.
And I said to myself, hell no. NO ONE rides the MAVERICK!
Abso-fucking-lutely NO BODY.
She never had it her way with me.
remember, on one hand I was fighting the fucking unclean spirit, on the other trying to figure out God, and again I was seeing things happen that I would never have tolerated had all things been... equal... and I was wondering whether all my life would be spent just getting stepped on and not having anything to do about it.
But, then, that was then.
NOW, I am a totally... different... person.
But still, back to then.
November, tired of being given the run-around, I confronted michelle, and asked her, at her work place, if she cared for me, and she said yes.
surprised and evincing it, I asked her how?
she said, no, not... personally, but in a christian way.
so I said, in that case I would leave you alone, since I did not understand this 'christian' thing.
Whereupon she evidently lost balance and asked if I was going to the states, or back to Zim, because she had evidently found out that while I was... pondering... about her I could not ... do anything else, but sit and wait.
I left.
Came to Happy Valley on a Monday morning and got a message from this lame guy she was working with in which she asked if I was still around and ended 'lots of love'
Now, can ANYONE beat that!
Anyway, come 13 Feb, I sent her an email saying I was fed up with her, was moving on, and she went ballistic. threats came out, about how she could make my life miserable and let everyone know at the library, church, and happy valley just how I was tormenting her;- Like any of that mattered.
A little later, I had butt-head sic-ed on me.At Fish Hoek library.
Then, when I laughed it off, I got arrested.This time the asshole came with four policemen, and wanted, on top of everything, to have me deported because I was an illegal.
I gave God a 'metaphorical' look when he said that, right after the 'I have been a cop for 18 years' speech. A LOOK that said, well, well, well.
And He told me not to worry, so I did not.
I got ANGRY instead.
And have been getting madder.
So mad that I have decided that I WILL "take care" of michelle's daughter, as she wanted me to. Dash her head against a rock.
Then I will strangle the bitch.
but first, I will deal with butt-head.
And faggot face.
And moto mia.
I am going to call them, when I am ready, as I promised the mother that I will kill her son before her eyes;- I will take them to that lighthouse right in the sea from which they can see with their telescopes, and I will systematically eviscerate and dismember the three of them.
Faggot-face because he said he 'could have gotten angry and retaliated physically'. Good. So I will give them all a chance to do exactly THAT. Retaliate physically. Where everyone can see.
And then I will throw them, still breathing but incapacitated, straight to hell.
then, michelle, I am coming for you.
First, I kill your daughter, with you watching.
then I kill you.
then I kill nicky?
ANd by THAT time, you will KNOW one thing, fools, that I can DO what I want, when I want, how I want.
There were never meant to be 15 women, ha ha!
But 15 'seconds' to make the filthy spirit have no room.
Now, when a person is born, he/she is FIRST a child, then second, becomes an adult.
I will take for myself ten people, and kill five, and HOW I kill the five is the interesting part, because ... ordinarily... it can NOT be done, except with impressive special effects and smoke and mirrors and ropes, that a person can... FLY... like superman and defy gravity and levitate people.
THAT is what will come first, and then, after, I will take over and... DESTROY... those I wish to destroy, and have people make room for me.
OOPS, almost forgot. Thing about a "bat's wing" is that it has... NO LIFT... not like a bird's that has this aerofoil cross section so that it can float on air. A bat can not glide.
Focus people.
On NO LIFT.
means I can NOT be... lifted up... by anyone, or helped by anyone on my way. So, dont even go there, thinking I NEED something from any of you. I TAKE what I want, and do not receive... gratuities... from anyone.
I will make everyone PAY.
Oh, yesss!
