God, for me is sometimes too cryptic, or rather i try to think too mmuch sometimes, so much so that I tend to overlook the... obvious.
Now, today, this moment, i FINALLY figured out what He meant by telling them the source of the cloud that dies not bear water.
Let me explaing in my own... roundabout way.
First time i actually came close to having 'sex for the first time' was with a girl I met on the road to somewhere back home, when I was about fourteen or so.
She was nothing much to look at, screen saver wise, but she had a nice, firm, rounded body, and when I approached her with the time honuored line 'you look good' she replied instantly, 'so do you', and to say I was nonplussed, would be to put it midly.
But i carried on woth some other tried and tested formulae, and eventually, we came to this inch-high maize field [eh, the MAIZE was inch high] and it was just beside a busy road that led to Ascot Secondary school, where I did my O-levels. Must have been a weekend when schools had just opened, because I later saw classmates that were coming from there, having paid their fees.
Early morning.
Anyway, I was horny, and, acting the gentleman, I decided I would lie on the maize ans she would come on top. Figured that way SHE would have to do the work, while i just moved her up and down like I was lifting weights, see?
So, she agreed.
early morning, just gone eight, or so.
she rests her elbows, rudely, I thought, on my chest, and when I looked at the hands themselves, I actually went cold.
She had a gash, from just above the left wrist, all the way down to the elbow, and it was in places about an inch wide, and all the way pink, like someone had slashed her with a sharp tool.
Adventurous girl, agrees to have sex, well, actually sort of initiates it, with a complete stranger, early in the morning (any girl in Zim would be cleaning house at that time, if she was any girl worth calling a girl) ;- where is she coming from, and what type of girl gets almost gutted like THAT? I mean, it was easy to see she had been warding a blow to her body, and so, as i lay there, and she waited for me to play my part, I did not even bother. I just lay there.
She seized my penis, then gave me a mocking laugh and when I naively asked her what was wrong, she replied, in English; "I am not a sex therapist".
Well, that put paid to that, and we parted.
Now, do NOT get me wrong, I am NOT interested in morals or anything like that;- i personally like sex wherever and whenever I can get it, but, fuck it, a woman MUST act like a woman, and not something else.
i am not interested, also, in arguing about it, I just choose what suits me, see, and get it going as I see fit.
Like, I only this morning, as I said, figured out what God meant, and this is how it happened.
I was cross last night, angry because everything is sort of NOT going my way, and I said to God that this was basically His fault because he tells me to be me and gives me all sorts of puzzles and He knows the answers and I have to blunder about trying to get things right while he sits there and gives no help. It is easy, i concluded, to be an armchair general, now i do not even know what the fuck anything is about, and dont You tell me to calm down... et.c., et.c.
So, i am a bit calmer, this morning, and I think about how He intervened in the case of this coloured chick, Paula, with a statement that I would have to 'bear her' for ten years, and that God is a God of thin violence.
back then, I had no idea that the dazzling smile she wore so effectively was made of a false tooth, and that she had a moustache.
when I did discover it, I thought, fuck this, and I gave up on her. She looked nice, yes, but kissing someone who shaves her upper lips? Yuck!
This is where it comes down to my... preference, see?
I like female females. Not undecided ones. I mean, it can be scientifically proven that a woman who has a moustache actually has tendencies towards male-dominion type behaviour, and me having to fight someone for whom i would later have an erection is definitely NOT my idea of... easy life.
And I like it easy.
I like women with hips, curves and absolutely NO scars and facial marks... even pimples... because THOSE mean that the woman is hiding her true colours and her body is showing it, sort of balancing it out.
fuck, observe stuff;
men with baldness are liars, they try always to pretend to be what they are not, as if people should not know what they are thinking, and the result is, the body, which can not live a lie, tries to compensate, and in effect say, 'hi, my owner is not what he wants you to see, he is hiding his thoughts' which is why i started worrying when I started losing some of my front hair, because I knew i was living a lie big time, and wanted a change.
but, then, as i said, i am NOt interested ina contest of who is right or wrong, I like eye-candy, and as it turns out, if I can NOT stand a woman, then it means the woman is busy NOT being a woman, but trying to be something else.
That is the reason, basically, I can NOT stand being around certain people.
THAT said, I have to confess that I have been busy trying to get someone from butt-head's side to at least ... apologise... because i am getting to be all too aware of myself.
I WILL butcher everyone from that side if there is no one who makes a peace offer before I am done, because one thing I can not stand is being laughed at, especially by a bunch of people who i never wanted to meet in the first place.
But I WILL kill michelle, and what will give me great pleasure to do is bash her daughter against a rock, or something, in her sight, just to show how pissed off at her I am.
And butt-head and faggot face and nicky and moto mia... at the very least.
because I can NOT forgive.
Now, there is this thing about the vision with the ark, and the bat's wing.
Figured THAT out as well; the wing stuff. Same story, "No lift". I do not change; if I can not stand someone NOW, I will never stand them - ever.
Unfortunately, there SHOULD be five women, but all I came up with are four, and once I get up to five, then i am basically going to massacre the whole bunch from michelle, to the relative of the 'nth' order. Not even a memory of them will remain.
here are the four. Women I do not have to... bear... or groan about, because they are... female, females.[ and by the way, I HATE English noses, because the person speaks like the person is about to have a running nose, and everytime i have been close to one such i have wanted to offer a hanky, or toilet paper, because it is so... irritating]
And the women are easy on the eyes, and while nobody is ... perfect... i am NOT interested too much in anyone's history, since everyone is wrong anyway.
The first is the Dutch girl, who came to that lodge two days before my 30th birthday, and we had that talk about michelle, and then when she cornered me in the kitchen, alone, and she bent over with her back to me and i wondered if there were any good legs there, she showed me perfect legs the following morning, and the thing is, she SHOULD have just gone to cape point, since she and the guy she was with wanted to see the sunrise, but I met them in s/town later, since I had said i would be in the place and that i would either be at the library or the internet cafe. met them at the two and six, which is when i wanted to confirm a suspicion that the girl wanted to be near me, and asked for contact details, and got the guy's email address.
OK, I TAKE her.
Then there is the girl with the German shepherd, with her wide ass, and hips, who jumped the wall, and when i looked... fuck, I talked about this, yes?
then there is thegirl from s/town, who i met on the train when i was eying the other redhead askance. No doubt of interest THERE
then there is
Fuck, I will have to think about this!
