And the race is NOT to the swift
but for who can endure it
but for who can endure it
And so, I was able to figure out that the day I had said i was dumping her friend, which is the morning of the HUD, she had looked over my shoulder [left=> what I had left behind=> my past] and seen that I do NOT actually like people, and so, whoever has to come into my life would have to do it by dint of constant effort, and endure all manner of criticism and rejection as a matter of course [why, I have no idea, but apparently some people are stupid enough, or sentient enough, depending on which side you are on, t0 actually want that!]
Which probably means that she is the reason they both were walking towards me when i saw them on my way back to kalk bay, and of course, being as i said, homicidal, I assumed they were making fun of me, and as it was the day of the "Stop Drinking" vision, I also assumed they had figured that I was ... wrong... and set out to set me right. I flared up, of course, and went;=>
tearing up everything of the rubbish I was considering about God's ways.
turns out that the 'intelligent' chick did not stop there, because apparently after considering that everything I was doing was because i was like obert, she had a volte-face when she saw me throw rocks in frustration,( because according to MY point of view, I do NOT want to be involved in this, and I hate every intrusion inot my life, and having to work out things that God imposes on me, for whatever reason) and so started reasoning clearly, apparently, and then, both of them showed up the day after.
then she pissed me off after i had complained that none of these women who I had, at that time, picked, would ever 'come out' and she did, and she maybe thought it unimportant that she walked past me with some guy, after first pretending to NOT be with him -which means she condemned herself, because if she had NOT done that I would not have been angry- and then showing up at the bakery door, as if to say that SHE heard me, and then going back and standing solicitously next to the guy, before both walked past again.
i am a simple, direct guy, and i hate ALL manner of pretense, because if someone is ashamed of coming out in the open as far as i am concerned, than that someone had better NOT bother even giving me the divided attention. It pisses me off, because I do NOT like people, as i said, and I hate being used as a prop for someone else's ego.
So, I have something very deep against that silly fool, who does not discriminate. Thought herself very clever, i guess, to pass me by yesterday as well with another guy, and then have the guy come back and check my mood, and the thing is, I think she actually THINKS she knows stuff better than me, the idiot!
there is her friend, of course, and well, she also came past yesterday, and the thing is, i was never going to do what she seems to want me to do, which is to endorse her, because I have had it with people. You want me, you come out in the open about it, and do not wait for me to say something about you. Fuck you!
then, since i am carrying on with the theme of people who seem bent on making me aware of themselves, and yet for some reason do not consider that I am hurt by the idiocy of double-dealing they embark on, there is allison, with her act that is similar to the 'intelligent' chick's, and apparently she thinks,a nd thought nothing of walking into my personal space, trying to get MY attention, and yet pretending that I am some periphereal thing, not the object of her acts. I hate that, and frankly i was ready to kill the woman JUST for the pretense, and i do not care who the person is she was with, the fact that she acted as she did is enough to piss me off!
i have gotten to the point where looks or sex appeal mean squat to me, because the mind of the person is what matters. And I hate what I am finding here.
then there is the david matthews chick, and her coming out, sitting next to me, pretending that I do not exist, and then her looking at me furtively when I spoke and laughed at something someone was saying, like a deer frightened by a thunderclap. Think i care that you parade in front of me, and shake your ass at me? is that what you call affection? Am I some idiot child that you can trick into sleep with some trinkets? Do you think it matters to me that you walk by me, as you do, and do not answer MY questuions about just WTF you are doing behind closed doors you simpering fool?Fuck do these people take me for?
Then, lastly, is the one person that fits 100% the aunt-and-cousin vision, and the ashton kutchter staement and the vidkun quisling thing, if one views it in line with the fact the ONLY thing guaranteed to make sure that butt-head's mom stands by some other mother is my demanding that the child LEAVE her mother, if it is me she wants, and that would be the blonde chick whose mother wanted me to come to st-peters.
her mother describes my aunt to a 'T', because she was both mother and father to her only daughter, and well, I mean, hello, moustache anyone?
Fuck, THESE are the 5 women, the five seconds, that are here, that seem to be God's pickings of women that are... interested... in me.
They answer to ME though, and as things stand, I am likely to overrule this crap and take only those that had none of this crap to them!
after all, I decide what is best for me, NOT God.
I rule this fucking joint, God just advises.
get that into your thick skulls, fools, because I am getting more and more pissed off with these assholes!
Which probably means that she is the reason they both were walking towards me when i saw them on my way back to kalk bay, and of course, being as i said, homicidal, I assumed they were making fun of me, and as it was the day of the "Stop Drinking" vision, I also assumed they had figured that I was ... wrong... and set out to set me right. I flared up, of course, and went;=>
turns out that the 'intelligent' chick did not stop there, because apparently after considering that everything I was doing was because i was like obert, she had a volte-face when she saw me throw rocks in frustration,( because according to MY point of view, I do NOT want to be involved in this, and I hate every intrusion inot my life, and having to work out things that God imposes on me, for whatever reason) and so started reasoning clearly, apparently, and then, both of them showed up the day after.
then she pissed me off after i had complained that none of these women who I had, at that time, picked, would ever 'come out' and she did, and she maybe thought it unimportant that she walked past me with some guy, after first pretending to NOT be with him -which means she condemned herself, because if she had NOT done that I would not have been angry- and then showing up at the bakery door, as if to say that SHE heard me, and then going back and standing solicitously next to the guy, before both walked past again.
i am a simple, direct guy, and i hate ALL manner of pretense, because if someone is ashamed of coming out in the open as far as i am concerned, than that someone had better NOT bother even giving me the divided attention. It pisses me off, because I do NOT like people, as i said, and I hate being used as a prop for someone else's ego.
So, I have something very deep against that silly fool, who does not discriminate. Thought herself very clever, i guess, to pass me by yesterday as well with another guy, and then have the guy come back and check my mood, and the thing is, I think she actually THINKS she knows stuff better than me, the idiot!
there is her friend, of course, and well, she also came past yesterday, and the thing is, i was never going to do what she seems to want me to do, which is to endorse her, because I have had it with people. You want me, you come out in the open about it, and do not wait for me to say something about you. Fuck you!
then, since i am carrying on with the theme of people who seem bent on making me aware of themselves, and yet for some reason do not consider that I am hurt by the idiocy of double-dealing they embark on, there is allison, with her act that is similar to the 'intelligent' chick's, and apparently she thinks,a nd thought nothing of walking into my personal space, trying to get MY attention, and yet pretending that I am some periphereal thing, not the object of her acts. I hate that, and frankly i was ready to kill the woman JUST for the pretense, and i do not care who the person is she was with, the fact that she acted as she did is enough to piss me off!
i have gotten to the point where looks or sex appeal mean squat to me, because the mind of the person is what matters. And I hate what I am finding here.
then there is the david matthews chick, and her coming out, sitting next to me, pretending that I do not exist, and then her looking at me furtively when I spoke and laughed at something someone was saying, like a deer frightened by a thunderclap. Think i care that you parade in front of me, and shake your ass at me? is that what you call affection? Am I some idiot child that you can trick into sleep with some trinkets? Do you think it matters to me that you walk by me, as you do, and do not answer MY questuions about just WTF you are doing behind closed doors you simpering fool?Fuck do these people take me for?
Then, lastly, is the one person that fits 100% the aunt-and-cousin vision, and the ashton kutchter staement and the vidkun quisling thing, if one views it in line with the fact the ONLY thing guaranteed to make sure that butt-head's mom stands by some other mother is my demanding that the child LEAVE her mother, if it is me she wants, and that would be the blonde chick whose mother wanted me to come to st-peters.
her mother describes my aunt to a 'T', because she was both mother and father to her only daughter, and well, I mean, hello, moustache anyone?
Fuck, THESE are the 5 women, the five seconds, that are here, that seem to be God's pickings of women that are... interested... in me.
They answer to ME though, and as things stand, I am likely to overrule this crap and take only those that had none of this crap to them!
after all, I decide what is best for me, NOT God.
I rule this fucking joint, God just advises.
get that into your thick skulls, fools, because I am getting more and more pissed off with these assholes!
