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First, God appears for some reason and the first thing He says is that I would be weaving tangled webs if I tried to chat up a girl simply because I felt I wanted one, to be like everyone else. THEN, later, when I had become sick, around 2003, and ought to have been preparing to die [Oh, by the way, I mentioned that God said I would be ... well... when the crocodile eats the sun, mmm, I thibnk the time beckons since everything is rather ... but more later] I used this girl to get my mother to humiliate herself, and it ought to have ended there without me having to actually DO anything to the girl, but God intervened with His cross dream to the girl, and THAT after He had said, when I was trying to become a christian, "I have claimed you for Myself" meaning that He was making it IMPOSSIBLE by any means, for me to try to fit in to anything that even smacked of normalcy... all of which begs the question, "So, WHY the fuck am I doing the things, or NOT doing the things, I am doing?"
Now, remember that I do not think like you do, and that I put my nose to the ground, and, barring God's... interference [as i perceive it]... I NEVER do anything out of sentiment, or spite, or anything else except cold, hard, revenge-seeking.
i mean, I went after my mother because i wanted to humiliate her, since i had perceived that I had nothing to lose. Hell, I had SEX because i wanted to get God off my back.
Which point makes me realise just how... different I am to everyone;- I mean, I am going to be getting to the point where i offer certain people a .. choice;- come, and let me and you get to ... know... each other or you go to hell and burn forever, it is your choice, and from MY point of view you would be with me because I want to use you to exact vengeance on someone else, and on YOUR part it is because you find me sexually... irresistible -which part i am still trying to wrap my mind around, but, I am going too far, too quickly, dont you think?
thing is, God wanted me to think: He had after all shown me a vision where there were 15 seconds for me to get out of here, and the corresponding ark vision showed that the 'ark' had sprouted a bat's wing right over the S/Town rock Noah's ark, and so, it meant that whoever the five were, they ARE here, since i could show them to the osc, before I exact my revenge, on the fools.
FUCK it, I am going to kill them, but first, i am going to humble them... I think, if the participants in the drama are willing to be used to have me have my revenge, and have me have them also, in every sense of the word.
But before that, the twenty women are an ego boost, because what my mother said to me about me being worthless had taken root, and would have caused me to belive that all y life except for the fact that some women, who are probably mainly in the dark abiut what I am about, found me so... interesting and so appealing that their lives ...
ah well, but we shall see THAT shall we not, as soon as the 'crocodile eats the sun', i.e., as soon as this black man has a footstool of his own, which probably means the five women.
Now, the women have to be these ones, and since the first person I hate in the osc is michelle, then no revenge is meaningful unless some mother , better looking and sexy, gives up her child for my sake. I know only one person that has a 'little one' and is apparently, judging by recent events, NOT unaware of me.
But then, just to make it all coherent, as I ... assume that this same michelle is, despite the name, english speaking, I would have to have an english speaking woman, from THE english, and she would have to be the only other person who has evinced an... interest ... in me but whose speech, or accent, is NOT the offensive-to-the-ear type that , for example, the girl catherine has. And of course she has to be blonde, and unattached, which thing I am NOT sure of, unless the guy she was with when she went past me the other time dressed in a fancy dress in broad daylight was none other than the obligatory companion to a function.
I am on pure conjecture here.
Then it gets interesting, because i am getting teh sense that God has been trying to get me to NOT give in to my trigger temper so much that i just blast everything because i do not understand what is going on.
i mean, on the face of it, there is a woman who has nothing wrong with her except for the fact that she takes, even now, an inordinate ineterest in me, and I have been near strangling her many times because she will NOT let go that offensive band around her left hand, and she apparently does not think anything wrong of it.
yet i am yet to find anyone even remotely as ... interested... in me as that woman has been. She would put nicky? and her superiority complex to shame, this art chick. if I do not kill her first, that is.
then there is that mother-daughter thing.
Now, i am , as i said, onto pure conjecture here, but what if the two women, the david matthews chick and the contemporary art chick, are REALLY sisters, and their mother is the RAV4 woman. Would that not be great? I mean, if THAT is the case, and i take them all three, and so use them to put that other mother who wanted me to spare her son by offering her unsightly self and her unsightly daughters... well, OK... NOT so unsightly, but pretending to like me to get me to back off? That is insulting. Well, so what if they were to accept my terms and concitions and allow me to have this
A buttress!
Thn i could leave here with 25 women, and pick up the remaining two chicks, destroy all the english and dutch, and go to america, and wait for the remaining 40 women while i piss of everyone else?
fuck, I would have my freedo, then, would I not?
yeah, right. Who would accept that?
in this day and age?
yet I want REVENGE!
