Ok, so, there are two things I have to say, ONE being that, if I SAID I knew how this would end, I lied, because I was basing it all on an assumption that certain things were too sacred even for God to tamper with.
the VERY same God who ... christened me ... THE maverick, meaning when it comes to iconoclasts, I am IT.
the second is better explained by looking at the story of Jonah, whom God sent on a mission; he disobeyed, and thus put it to God to either back off and admit that a creature of His could put Him in the wrong, or make sure that He brought that same creature to the point of sub-mission, since God never makes mistakes.
the guy was brought to breaking point, and he conceded that he could not by-pass God's prerogative, and agreed to go do as God said he must, even though, I MUST stress, he did NOT want to. THAT never changed.
Now, when it comes to ME, the situation is that, God had ALREADY said that the
firstborn male among you, who opens the matrix, belongs to Me
and well, THAT is the reason He claimed me for Himself.
because from the first, I NEVER intended to do ANYTHING for my mother, because she was prejudiced against me.
I never DID anything anyway, simply because of two things;- ONE being that if I did, she would reap the rewards, and I wanted her to do so, if God was willing that it be so -meaning if I could not get a way around it- while at the same time she herself tasted gall with it.
but the overriding fact was that I ended up unable to stomach having her have ANYTHING good from my hand, and also unable to do the bad because it invariably put me in a position of having to accept things that were unacceptable, like women with kids, simply because if i mocked HER I also mocked myself, see?
So, the time has come to DO something, and the only VIABLE option is to make sure I get my mother out of the picture... permanently.
So, as soon as the xhosas die, my mother and father and my whole family still in Zimbabwe, in fact the whole country as well, will all go up in a brilliant burst of light or whatever!
I am not letting it be limited only to Zimbabwe, no, I am sending the whole sub-saharan Africa up in a molten blaze, because my... warfare... with God has come to an end, and I realise that He was NOT wrong to do as He did, and that he actually is on MY side, which means, I get to restructure the world as I SEE fit, since He told me that I could have the kind of world I want.
The other thing is that... I am NOT letting anyone make a fool of me, and since the only type of people that i will even leave alive IN south africa are the people that leave with me, and the rest will perish, I have an ace up my sleeve.
trust me when I say that it is not just dying that people should worry about, it is HOW they die.
because yesterday afternoon I decided that regardless of how things may seem to these fools who show up and down in my path, I am going to make sure I personally deal with them, and take my time dealing with everyone who has ever accosted me, and forced his or her attention on me, and that includes all the people I have ever griped against, whether male or female, ESPECIALLY the people of the osc.
The only ones I may want to leave alive will be the five females I have set aside... provisionally... because they seem to have different agendas than the rest of the fools.
Seem to have, which means I am not sure.
neither am I sure whether to kill nicky or watch her die, because the point is, neither she nor her sister have made me really angry. Ok, she pissed me off the first time, but had the good sense to try to stay out o my path, and the fact that she leaned towards me the last time I saw her -in fact the ONLY time I ever paid attention to her- means there may have been something of remorse in her.
not that I operate on remorse;- she did what she did because she had already put me in a certain category, and whether she cahnged her mind afterwards is none of my concern, because her FIRST mistake means she deserves to die.
I am however NOT so sure I have enough rage against her to kill her myself... unless of course her mother decides to give me the finger, then I will be quite happy to take out the ENTIRE family, and leave no single soul alive.
but if the mother has sense in her head, she will walk away, and I will still be faced with what to do with nicky?, who OPENLY came against me, and as such is beyond all mercy.
I despise and hate her. But I am not angry with her... not yet.
Now, speaking about the women; I reached a decision on some of them, and then this morning, I had a surprise waiting for me as I went into Fish Hoek, but, first things first.
Two days ago, after I had seen and talked to catherine, the English girl, as i came out of the Pick-n-Pay mall, I was somewhat... distressed about the chick, because well, she had all these ear-rings on her and her face, when I got a good look at it, did not, since she was more decent, really strike me as the kind of face I would like anywhere near me for the rest of my life.
So I put it to God, and funny thing was He did not speak, but a word showed up on the HUD [heads-up-display] of my mind:-
employment
 |
| head up display of fighter jet |
The word had absolutely no meaning for me till yesterday, when, as I sat at the nbench waiting for the F/Hoek library to open, I saw this blonde woman walk in,with one arm full of the type of books that are either comics or read for kids. she was wearing a dark dress, grey, and her legs through the were encased in a pair of jeans that even I would not be able, in my slimmed state, to fit on on leg, but she was undoubtedly a woman, and I stared at her, with her hair swept back, showing her ears and the waist that could not be disguised even with one hip jutting forward as she balanced her load of book on it. She ended up standing at the notice board that has, among other things, the Notices headed
Education, Employment, bla bla
I liked, but I liked even more when she spoke, to this other woman who was complaining about the time, and she said, inan unmistakably english voice, that she wondered if they should just let people drop books, and while this sank in, I wondered if she would even notice someone so scruffy as me, but then she walked in, after me, and then stood at the end of the aisle which has Science fiction books, and which just happens to be near the computers.
OK, I thought, so maybe she has noticed me staring... at least I did not get dity looks. She would be nice as a replacement to this English chick, I concluded.
And I dropped the kid of that come-to-church woman. I have run out of time, I will tell about it, but there is one woman that came into the fray and also, I am still missing that pubescent girl.
After this I will have no reason to stop, after I say who they are that is. expect that 2moro
Education, Employment, bla bla
I liked, but I liked even more when she spoke, to this other woman who was complaining about the time, and she said, inan unmistakably english voice, that she wondered if they should just let people drop books, and while this sank in, I wondered if she would even notice someone so scruffy as me, but then she walked in, after me, and then stood at the end of the aisle which has Science fiction books, and which just happens to be near the computers.
OK, I thought, so maybe she has noticed me staring... at least I did not get dity looks. She would be nice as a replacement to this English chick, I concluded.
And I dropped the kid of that come-to-church woman. I have run out of time, I will tell about it, but there is one woman that came into the fray and also, I am still missing that pubescent girl.
After this I will have no reason to stop, after I say who they are that is. expect that 2moro
