Now, God for reasons of His own, had said to Noah that he should build an ark, because the end of all flesh had come before Him, and He repented of having made man on the earth, yes?
so, the man, wife and kids and an assortment of animals, found themselves in a box for a year, while everything else was destroyed for the man's sake, as God later put it.[the man, of course, had 'NO' say in what was done for... him]
but the same God later said that He would NOT so destroy the earth again, for the man's sake, because his imagination was evil from his youth, apparently meaning that he had a... parent complex.
So, what did He do? told the... NEXT ... man that he should leave his family and 'go to a land that I will show you, and there I will make you a great nation'.
the man did, and now, let us see just how, sly God was! He made sure that the man 'saw' how bad some of the people were behaving, and thus how they... deserved ... to die, but then, God , Who apparently was... learning... about people... made the mistake of thinking the man wanted the whole lot of people dead.
the man wanted to fit in, to have a place, so he did whatever was... necessary to be... inconspicuous. God STIll had NOT realised that a man had an independent mind and saw things differently, had different perspectives from Him, and so everytime God instituted these 'blessings' on the prospective 'man', they always backfired, and never succeeded.[I bet you never thought God did NOT know everything, right!].
So, He tried a different track, and that is where I came in. He made sure, for example, that I was NOT equipped... to fit in, from the first.
But the reason why, apparently He even eyeballed me was that I found it, and find it, difficult, to even excel at ANYTHING, if it means my mother gets to share in any rewards. I would rather be a laughing stock than to be a success, since to her I was never anything to begin with, and if I therefore DID something to earn her respect, it would not be 'me' that she would look at, but rather someone she thinks I should be;- that is, a person designed to make sure that her life is smooth.
This is what He meant by 'fistborn male', because I definitely REFUSE to let that conniving woman have ANYTHING good or bad from me if I have to be a 'man' inorder for change to occur.[ So, the women of the 'covenant' get to be the ones who will go with me, and I am NOT making the assumption that God made, that everyone is so... pleased... to be involved with Him; no, I have to be first of all certain that they want me, and that they have no ties with whatever there is in their lives to keep them from being with me; that they actually were looking for release from the bondage of the daily drudgery, and that once they saw me, they made up their minds that they wanted to be where I was at].
So, she dies. Fuck, she and every black person on this whole planet dies.
God wants everyone dead, for THE man's sake, but then, he is a 'covenant' God, see, one Who wants an 'agreement', hence, the ark thing.
apparently, I always wanted women that would accept me as i am , without the frills of... success... who would also be sexually desirable and also that I do NOT have to work to get them to bed.
so, there were ten to 'build an ark' and the remainder that I am still puzzling over, although I am getting to the point where I wonder if 18 is not enough to just go.
they are all white, so, I will have the 'white race', not semitic, not oriental.. et.c... remain alive, since i still need some of their tech., and then, when I have built for myself something worth occupying my attention, when this 'thing' that God put on me is gone, and there is no longer any need for child-rearing beliefs by women, I will have the rest of the people die.
except, of course, for the ones that have already pissed me off, and these i will do away with PERSONALLY, these white people.
Now,I was all weekend busy making some wire and beaded things for sale today so that I could have money to buy food and stay on the mountain while I 'wait for a new life', but the weather is not so kind, so I am going back to sleep and brood, and maybe tomorrow, i will come down and get busy,and then the end will come.
i will NOT post anymore from the library, or internet cafe, till I have occupancy of the parliament house, in Cape Town.
howl like a sound of siren
