Before he showed up, I was actually just a basic depressed uncommitted person whose horizon was diminishing as I grew up. I was going to die as soon as I was at the age where I would have to... be responsible.
And as the years have gone by, from fighting Him tooth and nail, to defying His very word, till NOW when I actually PAY [and I am morally too broke to 'pay' anyone anything] attention to what He says or what i perceive Him to say; I have come to grudgingly acknowledge that He is always true to His word, and unlike people, whom I can NOT, and this is the honest truth, ever actually take seriously or even consider too much, He does NOT mean me harm, for whatever reason that may be, a reason I have yet to find, because at the moment I am almost sure that if I ever had the opportunity to slip from is grasp, I would take it, and just die.
Now, I am sitting here when I thought I was... done, but you see, I had to ... ask, a question, one that made me realise that I may know the last, and the rest, but there were gaps in my knowledge that made no sense, and so, I had to find out, see?
Or maybe you do not. But then, I do not expect anyone to believe me, because nothing in your knowledge has ever been like this, so, you are welcome NOT to accept this, since I eralise that, as far as anyone else's thinking would be concerned, I am as an alien.
But an alien whose mid now impinges on matter... literally.
yesterday, and for the past few days, I have been observing the 'library' lady becoming more and more... obvious... in her attentions, and actualy, on Wednesday, when I was deep in pain, and snarling with every step, she walked past and the look she had on her face as she stared at me was one which, had there been just the two of us in a dark room, woul have needed no other explanation as to its origins.
Incapable of interacting with people I may bbe, but BLIND I most certainly am NOT, and it is this ... vision... that made me finally ask, as soon as I thought I was done, just what the deal with the lady IS. Because she has a ing on her finger that says, or should say, that the woman is off limits, taken and neither for sale, to let or for rent. Right on the appropriate finger.
Which should, of course, make me back off, but for the fact that there is ANOTHER ring, on a corresponding finger, on the other hand, and I wonder to myself why someone would want to re-confirm/ annul something that should be made perfectly obvious by just ONE ring. On the right hand. Or left, in this matter.
Now, let us face it, women, they like to play these games and not show their true colours, right? Pretend and all that. Well, I was goint to ditch her anyway, but then I decided that she can NOT be that good a liar. Maybe she is just protecting herself, and trying not to make herself a target for unscrupulous male attention, because if she was married, then the way she behaved woyuld have had that coquettishness that comes with the flirtatious female type.
But, THAT was not the reason whym I am sitting here, but the fact that later, as i was back to my mountain fastness, cooking and eating an basically giving my stomachj the finger for denying me the chance to taste my gastronomic... eh... preferences, God did another HUD display. This time it was
DUNKIRK
And, like all history students, everyone knows that Dunkirk was the scene of what could have been the most telling defeat of the BEF [the British Expeditionary Force] which was just a few days earlier, deployed to Frnce to aid them gallic-eater against Hitler's invasion, and they ended up bailing out and if Hiteler had not been so afraid to overextend himself and his panzer tank divisions, he could have ended WW2 right then, but he allowed the British to escape. About 300,000 of them, at the sands of Dunkirk, because His Luftwaffer kept struffing them from the air, but he never let theose fearsome tanks of his roll in and take the enemy apart.
Now, the sense I got from God at this point was that, like the 'rescuers' who ended up ditching even their cars as they formed a jetty for any kind of ship/even tugboat to rescue THEM, I was actually leaving 'someone' behind.
Well, the someone could NOT have been obvious then, because i was certain I had accounted for every woman.
But then, lets do the math, right?
ten women, the seven and three, to build the foundation, right?
Check, I am content with my appraisal of the ten women, and what comes after actually makes me even more confident.
"Fifteen seconds to get out of here", meaning that, as one would interpret the words based on what happened, with the 'ths' vision and all that, there were FIVE other, less obvious women, and the girl [I explained all that] and it was these six who made it possible for me to finally solve the enigma of butt-head's mother's behaviour towards me, and thus scratch her out of any possible... involvement... with me, since her only goal was to get the monster to leave her kids be, and she was willing to sacrifice even her granddaughter(s) to get that done. Well, once I knew that, I had her cracked, and so, I had no need to doddle any more, so, I left S/Twon, and the only time I will get there again is to kill people, and make her eat her granddaughter. Literally.
so, that is sixteen.
seventeen woul be the 'employment' lady, the very English one.
Then there is the mysterious library lady, and lastly, as LAST of all to come up, is the sexy woman I saw that Monday.
But, see, the vision that explained HER showed me truning my back on everything else, and going to a second floor, above the ground floor, and that means this is a ... double story... type of thing.
ten below, ten above.
there is therfore some 'secret service woman' that has NOT shown her true colours, but probably, thinking herslf 'better' than anything else, decided that rules do NOT apply to her and so tried to pave her way her way.
I DO NOT like The French Connection.
It narrows the grid too much.
One one hand, it could be the kalk bay girl, but I hate her, and she is as good looking as anyone who you knew wearing glasses for a month and never did anything about would be.
She had to CHANGE for me to even notice her, and even then I do not like her at all.
That leaves allison, and frankly, she has pissed me off, big time, and as far as I am concerned, everyone has the right to exercise their freedom to think... and act... independentlly... outside MY domain. When it is MY life, I like people who obey me, and not try to show their alternatives.
that pisses me off.
if it is her, I have serious objections.
And would prefer her having a meal of that guy she is always with, ven if the relationship is that of brother and sister.
Now, the sense I got from God at this point was that, like the 'rescuers' who ended up ditching even their cars as they formed a jetty for any kind of ship/even tugboat to rescue THEM, I was actually leaving 'someone' behind.
Well, the someone could NOT have been obvious then, because i was certain I had accounted for every woman.
But then, lets do the math, right?
ten women, the seven and three, to build the foundation, right?
Check, I am content with my appraisal of the ten women, and what comes after actually makes me even more confident.
"Fifteen seconds to get out of here", meaning that, as one would interpret the words based on what happened, with the 'ths' vision and all that, there were FIVE other, less obvious women, and the girl [I explained all that] and it was these six who made it possible for me to finally solve the enigma of butt-head's mother's behaviour towards me, and thus scratch her out of any possible... involvement... with me, since her only goal was to get the monster to leave her kids be, and she was willing to sacrifice even her granddaughter(s) to get that done. Well, once I knew that, I had her cracked, and so, I had no need to doddle any more, so, I left S/Twon, and the only time I will get there again is to kill people, and make her eat her granddaughter. Literally.
so, that is sixteen.
seventeen woul be the 'employment' lady, the very English one.
Then there is the mysterious library lady, and lastly, as LAST of all to come up, is the sexy woman I saw that Monday.
But, see, the vision that explained HER showed me truning my back on everything else, and going to a second floor, above the ground floor, and that means this is a ... double story... type of thing.
ten below, ten above.
there is therfore some 'secret service woman' that has NOT shown her true colours, but probably, thinking herslf 'better' than anything else, decided that rules do NOT apply to her and so tried to pave her way her way.
I DO NOT like The French Connection.
It narrows the grid too much.
One one hand, it could be the kalk bay girl, but I hate her, and she is as good looking as anyone who you knew wearing glasses for a month and never did anything about would be.
She had to CHANGE for me to even notice her, and even then I do not like her at all.
That leaves allison, and frankly, she has pissed me off, big time, and as far as I am concerned, everyone has the right to exercise their freedom to think... and act... independentlly... outside MY domain. When it is MY life, I like people who obey me, and not try to show their alternatives.
that pisses me off.
if it is her, I have serious objections.
And would prefer her having a meal of that guy she is always with, ven if the relationship is that of brother and sister.
