I was about to write, yesterday, the vision that God had shown me about... something, a day before, which, in a way inadvertanntly helped me to explode -almost- because I was so CERTAIN that it could not be from God because this was about things that had already happened, and God does not work that way.
Little did I know that I had seen nothing yet, and did not know what I thought I knew half as well as I thought I did.
Now, this is the deal:- I saw... myself, early Wednesday morning, walk into my parents' home, and get to the stove onlyto find that the tea-pot was almost empty,couldn't even fill half a cup ,and I complained, 'either too late or...' and did not finish the statement because i was watching my elder sister watching TV, and the screen seemed to have frozen, while the sound effects carried on, and SHE was saying, ' another cowboy story' as the picture of a man riding a horse finally ... unfroze and crossed some dirt rode, and rode past this guy on a wagon such as the Dutch used in the Boer wars.
The guy was bald, like my father, but much much leaner than him, and while I focused on him doing something to the front of the wagon, the rider disappeared, and what was left was a perplexed guy... anonymous looking, the kind one would not even be able to describe, to whom the man who looked like a thin vest-clad version of my father spoke and said, 'what you need, mate, is bait', and when the confused guy said 'but i have no bait', a white chick, who from the front looked like she had no nose leaned towards him and said, while kissing him on the lips, 'yes, William, you do' and she she showed her profile in the kissing act, I got to see that she HAD a nose after all, only it could not be seen from up front, as I said.
Anyway, yesterday, around one, after something else had happened here in Fish Hoek -one thing at a time- I went back up to the mountain early, and as i took my normal route, and passed by this 'inkfish design studio' I saw none other than the girl in the glasses -formerly, i suppose, since i never see her wear them anymore- sitting at the steps having, I suppose, her lunch. My heart froze within me, because here was the person i wanted to avoid so much, not even a cook as I had supposed, but... something else... and I just walked on, clamping down on my emotions and saying to myself, well, I WILL have to find an alternative way.I climbed up the mountain, then came to rest a while just off the road, in the shade of this tree whose limbs all point towards sun-valley, maybe because of the prevailing wind, and as I sat, looking back the way I had come,without getting the geography of the place even... right ...in my mind at all, I was stunned to see the girl stand up and walk back into the... design studio.
I realised she had known all along that I stayed on the mountain, because while I never minded anyone else's business, I did not try to make myself inconspicuous.So, it appears that the various times I had, coming from Fish-Hoek, loaded with my personal groceries, and sat down there, and eaten some of the food, she had been observing me, and when we met all those times, and she looked at me so... curiously, to say the least, she had been aware all along of what I was up to, since NO ONE can even claim to have a house anywhere there.
Which would mean she despised me right? Or, to quote, as I suppose she thinks even after I have explained how everything happened in detail, ad nauseum, butt-head's mother [represented by my ... elder sister... in the vision, since they both wanted me to 'take care' of their sons] this was just me trying to 'take over' an established relationship, such as michelle and butt-head have, because I can not abide to see two people in love in front of me, yes?
Wrong!
this girl, did some... things that I did not mention at all, even before all these things. First, I was indeed seeing her daily, in her glasses, and then, this one day, I was coming down the mountain with another guy who calls himself machaivelli, and we were spaeking in English since he is xhosa and I hate the language and the peoples so much I refuse to learn the lingo, and we passed her on the road, right where the former train station, (a place where I used to steal 18 gauge wire to make the frames for my wire artifacts) starts when one is coming from Fish-Hoek, and she was standing there, and this guy, high from a night on the mountain at the cave where his former friend used to stay -the guy I said went to Zim- commented that white women had no asses, and I looked her over, saw her hips and liked them, and I said, well, she was my type, i liked her like that, and either that carried, or what, I do not know, because later, i was waking up very early to get to S/Town as i was opening the ... shop. One time i even woke up so early that it was still dark by the time I was over the former station, and I sat down to nap.
Butt-head's mom must have gotten a scare, because when I walked down and passed the beach on the road that goes by the station, she drove like hell towards the exit, having parked her car, for some weird reason, at the beach, that early.Someone forgot to tell her that Honda Ballade tail-lights are distinctive, even when one is too far away to read the license plate.
Anyway, when I was back to my normal routine, Fish-hoek <=> Kalk bay, I bumped into her more, and this one day, I was, maybe less bitter, more relaxed, and as i sang, passing her, she must have assumed that I was greeting her, becausea smile broke out, and was then quickly stifled, and I was puzzled, because that was the day she showe up without her glasses.
This past weekend, on Saturday, the girl was alone, late, walking home, and she was not in her customary dark jeans and dark jearsey, but rather in a red knee length dress, and she must have been too shy to face me, because she was walking on the other side of the road, as we passed each other, but staring at the shop windows, kinda like butt-head's mom did when she walked before me into the Pick-n-Pay arcade, to see if I was looking?
Hey, I DID look, OK, because I was... worried.(And she did look nice, I admit)
What was wrong with this woman?
With THESE women?
I can not forget the curious walk of the woman who had a boy in front and behind me, who later stopped and stared at me so directly.
I can not get it out of my mind that I saw seven ... very scared, but determined... white women, who MUST have read my disinclination towards them, and yet acted as they did, or three women who, if it was a class, would have been the ones to raise their hands and yell 'yes, prince, pick me, pick me! ooooh pick ME?'
These women, in a way, because they made what I thought was hidden plain, have meant that whatever ... bait... I am supposed to have, does not mean pretending i like people.Thay have cut short my wait, and so, I WILL just dispense my justice as I said, and seal off the western cape, and kill those I said i will kill, with my bare hands.
I had said something about a Latino woman, but now, because the proud white women HAVE humbled themselves, I have no need to be ... so... choosy. I will take what I was given freely, and since yesterday I bumped into an... English girl... and she fresh form cornwall, no doubt, and with whom I had a lovely chat, and her accent did not irritate me, I suppose I only have ONE woman left, one woman that has NOT pissed me off, one woman who has read my posts and paid attention, and not pissed me off, one woman to... see if I like the meat, and THEN, the door closes on the women thing... for ever.
And I begin my.... judgement.
In other words, I KILL people, and let no one else IN.
Any takers?
this is going fast!
