Of course, I AM going to kill people, and I have ONE person in particular that is DEFINITELY going to die, and his choice is not whether he is going to die but how, and it is either I do the deed, or he just goes to hell.
because, as I said, I hate someone who thinks he MUST pull the strings on me, in my life, when he ought to STOP interfering in my business. So, mike, depending on what the women who are using you as a hiding wall do or do not do, I get the inestimable pleasure of personally rending you and destroying you totally, MYSELF.
You walk around like you are not scared of anything, but if I just scowl, you are on the phone, calling someone out who you think will make me soften up,and the problem you and all those like you has is, like the piranha in that joke, you are NOT even supposed to be anywhere IN the picture. Fuck is YOUR place in this? Are you banging them? In that case, just SHOW me they are yours, and i will let them go, and of course, and get to kill you myself. SLOWLY. YEAH-SSS
So, if them chicks cling to you, I will get to kill you, and them, and I will be delighted to. the only reason I will NOT kill you, and make you suffer greatly for the scorn you have heaped on me, is that they decide to own up and be responsible for their own actions, and explain to ME what they wanted from me, and I will take it from there.
if they do not, then they and everyone i have condemned to death, dies. I think that is quite... reasonable, yeah-ss?
As I pointed out earlier, I have nothing to lose, and have no... stake in this. I just hate being used.
not even God gets to do that, so why should a living person think he can pull the strings on me and get me to act as he thinks?
like i am a person who bestows largesse and gifts because he wants to get and keep a good reputation.
fuck that!
i was thinking whole day of how I have been had by these 'christians' of kalk bay community church, who made sure those chinese people would be present and who thereafter had that chink follow me around, looking all so hopeless while at the same time these people who were so confident of their stance with christ as lord tried to get me... converted. Why the bullshit?
because you were involved in that, you fools, then every one of those chinese people that you sent is ... DEAD, as are you. Let us say I like things clean and simple, and since I do not have to look you in the eye or lie next to any of you, which means I do not have to worry about your happiness in future, I think i am better off with ALL of the chinese congregation of that day, and the organisers of that event... dead, unless it is brett, whose manner of ... appeal... was less devious and therefore he gets his wish. I will not have the asshole's girlfriend, brett's cousin, die, because one good turn deserves another.And I did like the coat, though I gave it away, and the pair of jeans have been on my skin for an embarrassing three days now. Four actually. They fit.
Anyway, to the business of the day:- I came back from the library and was not really that surprised to see the MR-2 parked where I could see it, and i knew that my words do not ever seem to get through to them fools that I am serious, so i just prepared to sit it out, and see what is going on, and inwardly I was already going, "Fuck You God, is THIS what You bothered me for?".
And then I was rather... surprised to see ms short and dumpy come out, with a short skirt...uh, longish panties...or maybe a baby's wraparound, ah you get the picture; which she was so self conscious of that she was pulling down -I have no idea why people put themselves to such trouble if they are going to have to worry about it so much- and I got the distinct impression that she was trying to attract my attention, and so... I ignored her. I was right there, and if she had something to say to ME, then she would have walked right up to me, and said whatever. I respect boldness, and a forthright approach, and complete honesty, even humour sometimes. But i was supposedly supposed to drool after seeing her in her distress over her ... dress... and i can never dance to someone's tune, so, I let her and whatever was bothering her ... go.
because it took no genius to figure out that she was being monitored, and i was being monitored, and they were all watching to see me react like a person starved of pussy would be expected to react.
but I got this to say
Ay man alive and kicking for sho
heading for year four
holla every dj cant take me no more..
heading for year four
holla every dj cant take me no more..
And the fact that all that exhibitionism was leading nowhere, because the woman was leaving me hanging, and not answering the burning question in y mind, "tell ME what YOU want from me", and so i decided to just let it all go. And not waste my time.
Then, I was brought back to earth by the fact that someone mentioned food, and i recalled I had not eaten since the night before, and i was rather starved, and empty inside, like I imagine a -funny thing that- submarine underwater would be if it was suddenly depressurised inside, by a leak or something, while the outside is receiving all those atmospheres of pressure (reason why I say funny is that it never occurred to me just how much this ... water... thing digs deep into my life, like I recall the only place i was rather... safe-ish... was the womb, and my longing to just be ...still, HAS to do with that. Instead, I have to grapple with the fact that i will have to got to waterless places because there are some people that i can not ARGUE with about the earth, and they so want a place here that i can never be... involved in the dispute, so, to seek my relative peace- as opposed to killing them which i could do but never quite ... justify, I must depart from the one thing i would rather be immersed in permanantly, and so, if one wants it in a nutshell why i wanna go, why i have to... go, then that is it.
My mother, I guess.
because if she dies, then my being alive is of no purpose. So, I must kill off whoever stands in the way just so that i can get away from killing her, since I can never be 'born' again. Which is why I have to make sure the holy spirit is brought to dust and destroyed before I even go, otherwise i am going to be pestered wherever like I am here.
Then, I was brought back to earth by the fact that someone mentioned food, and i recalled I had not eaten since the night before, and i was rather starved, and empty inside, like I imagine a -funny thing that- submarine underwater would be if it was suddenly depressurised inside, by a leak or something, while the outside is receiving all those atmospheres of pressure (reason why I say funny is that it never occurred to me just how much this ... water... thing digs deep into my life, like I recall the only place i was rather... safe-ish... was the womb, and my longing to just be ...still, HAS to do with that. Instead, I have to grapple with the fact that i will have to got to waterless places because there are some people that i can not ARGUE with about the earth, and they so want a place here that i can never be... involved in the dispute, so, to seek my relative peace- as opposed to killing them which i could do but never quite ... justify, I must depart from the one thing i would rather be immersed in permanantly, and so, if one wants it in a nutshell why i wanna go, why i have to... go, then that is it.
My mother, I guess.
because if she dies, then my being alive is of no purpose. So, I must kill off whoever stands in the way just so that i can get away from killing her, since I can never be 'born' again. Which is why I have to make sure the holy spirit is brought to dust and destroyed before I even go, otherwise i am going to be pestered wherever like I am here.
Guess that is the 7-3 part of the vision explained and the t-h-s link, and also the prophecy in joel, "And I will pour out My spirit up on all flesh..." and that, I suppose explains why God... bothered, with me, and why He claimed me for Himself. I hope you are keeping up. i knew the end of things, but not everything else, not the why, or maybe i just never bothered to explain even to myself, since I do not give much of a fuck about that. unless i have to defend myself to someone. I also suppose that is why it is so insulting that someone looks for a place for me to ... stay... when I wanna go)
Anyway, OK, that IS redundant, but I will stick to these anyways, anyway reason why i am losing my thread is there is no background music, I will update this while threading some, anger management, or maybe door slam, yess. Ah, that is private, of course.
But, of course, I have to put this one here, because I was singing it for the ... camera. Did i say I am a celebrity? I am.They should know
****the holy spirit hates water, which is surprising,since he is supposed to be... clean. I mean, read the semantics, as soon as jesus came out of water a dove descended on him, and in the beginning, when everything was covered in 'waters' the holy spirit hovered over the face of the deep, and also, when a king was annointed, the holy spirit descended on him mightily, and in effect tried to take over, because of the fact that the water disturbed his tenuous hold on people and he was trying to catch up. I have no such... obligation, because aside from the fact that i would rather just be... dead... or still, i do not care enough for ANYTHING to cling to power or authority like the spirit does, that he feels he must NOT be left out. which is why I will bring him to the dust, and kill him. YEAH-ss*** I do hope this makes some kind of sense, because i would hate to have to spend much time explaining all this which should be obvious to anyone who takes nothing for granted. Ah, fuck, I suppose that i am the ONLY one alive who does that, right?
no wonder I am operating solo...!
anyway, I was hungry, and I went to buy food, and the weird thing was that, as i wolfed the pizza slice down on my way back, I was also going "oh oh, they will do it again!" and true to form, I saw butthead ii come out of that building,and he crossed the road - ah, to get to the other side, i guess-and was talking over my head to someone in an upper story window and he seemed so cheerful i felt like all my posturing and scowling was in vain. I mean, it seems to not make a dent in anyone's cheer. i hate that. I mean, what is the use of being able to... anyway, that WILL come a little later, this week, if i am left in limbo. I am thinking a bit of destruction is in order here, like totally leveling some... building, with a stroke of lightning, or maybe several... INTERESTING, YEAH-SS. Call it a surgical strike, just to ... level... the field.no wonder I am operating solo...!
Anyway, OK, that IS redundant, but I will stick to these anyways, anyway reason why i am losing my thread is there is no background music, I will update this while threading some, anger management, or maybe door slam, yess. Ah, that is private, of course.
But, of course, I have to put this one here, because I was singing it for the ... camera. Did i say I am a celebrity? I am.They should know
So me go so
One; remember this is elephant man
Two; fire burn the funny boy crew
Three;them cant par with we
put up your hands big up your conscience free...
four; fire have fir burn dem some more
five, none of them cant stay alive...
let me squeeze the trigger till the gun them empty
One; remember this is elephant man
Two; fire burn the funny boy crew
Three;them cant par with we
put up your hands big up your conscience free...
four; fire have fir burn dem some more
five, none of them cant stay alive...
let me squeeze the trigger till the gun them empty
Anyway, I have said that, with reason, because these assholes, these guys should have ... encouraged... the women to be plain instead of sticking to them like leaches, and pissing me off further by focusing, like that gallery woman, on trying to cool the anger that was aroused in me, by these actions, and so, they ALL collectively made a fool of me, byt leaving me with no leg to stand on, and so, of course, every male that has postured in front of me, regardless of the fact that he is covered, is dead, and well, as i mentioned earlier, many times, any former boyfriend of any of these women, who will only be able to come close to me based on the fact that she was not involved with anyone when she started making eyes at me, and was never in a position where that was an issue, because if that is the case, then, fuck, she is dead. i am loaded, did i tell you? I have a helper, a "Voice" of one crying in the wilderness, make straight the paths of the lord... et.c.
I am gumboy, the angry stillborn, and he is rumble, the 'essence of survive', ( we covered this before) and i am the thinking man who speaks and things happen, while he makes sure that no one comes up and stabs me in the dark, but chases away the undesirables, especially when I am very pissed off, as I see me getting about... now. OH, YEAH-SS. I am the BOSS, the lightning, and he is the thunder, whose voice roars across the earth proportional to the released anger. I am at the moment done thinking. I am about to... DO... and that means, fuck, you aint seen nothing like what is about to be unleashed like NOW. I mean, while i said I was not going to kill the offspring that were almost offered to me, i have decided that, well,
I am gumboy, the angry stillborn, and he is rumble, the 'essence of survive', ( we covered this before) and i am the thinking man who speaks and things happen, while he makes sure that no one comes up and stabs me in the dark, but chases away the undesirables, especially when I am very pissed off, as I see me getting about... now. OH, YEAH-SS. I am the BOSS, the lightning, and he is the thunder, whose voice roars across the earth proportional to the released anger. I am at the moment done thinking. I am about to... DO... and that means, fuck, you aint seen nothing like what is about to be unleashed like NOW. I mean, while i said I was not going to kill the offspring that were almost offered to me, i have decided that, well,
no no no no way
bad man nuh suck pussy
no no no no way
bad man nuh fuck butty
bad man nuh suck pussy
no no no no way
bad man nuh fuck butty
So, them kids offered still die, and well, the added thing is that if dem people i have under my crosshairs STILL refuse to come out and face me, I will smoke dem out. Did I say that I am completely in control? fuck, check your facts. I have let the day be fine-ish, because i did not want to be rained on, but now, i am not interested any more, so, fuck, I am interested in leaving, and NOW, not next year, because if I have to spend any more time trying to avoid tony beggar and at the same time having to be pushed to go across the road to mike's place like I NEED this bullshit, well, let us say that every one of these things has a carry-on effect and what pisses me off, someone else has to pay for.
Get the drift?
YEAH-SSSS!
Get the drift?
YEAH-SSSS!
