of course, I do not care much what happens, but when one has disadvantages like mine, or ... God forbid... advantages, if i choose to put it like that, then, well, the world is your oyster, or something like that, and you can do pretty much what you please, with God egging you on, because you have the one thing in your favour, that you choose the path, for you, of least resistance, because you can not stand having to assume responsibility for things that well, you are trying to avoid, and anyway, that path may NOT be so easy for others because it means that what is best for you means a heavy burden for them, like is about to happen now as I go in search of a ... plane... and a place. So i can build a space-ship.
On the way to the internet cafe, I was reflecting on people going, "But you can not just do as you please with people's lives!", and this scene from the comedy Rat Race-which I have watched curiously, at crucial times in my life, where the guy who had this hotel, and this toothy grin, goes, "GRRR, I can do as I like, I am eccentric", came to mind, and also, brought me down to earth, because the first time I saw the comedy, I was at a crisis point as far as solving the Goldbach Conjecture was concerned. I was wondering what the deal with the money was, and when i saw how the participants were manipulated in the film with people betting to see who would win, I firmed my decision NOT to go that route, and achieved the freedom to start "count1ng numb3r5", later when I could correct everything from the roots up. So, fuck, we are GOING to deal with everything, from numbers all the way to the so-called theory of relativity, because i am focusing on 'rocket science' see?
The other time I saw the comedy, i did not find it so funny, and that was recently, at vinnie's, and i was at that time debating what to do about stopping the rat race in my own life as far as women are concerned, and I was finding out that I had come to love just one woman, and that it did not do to go on pretending that there could be others. It was not fitting to put someone whose opinion of me had grown to matter more than i have ever thought possible through that, so I started backing off, my own way, of course, and so, now, here I am. I do not even have a hope that, with everything around us, and everything that makes me ME so glaringly in everyone's -even hers- face, I could ever hope to have her anywhere near me, because i have decided on KILLING people just so that I can go and not be laughed at when i go. I mean, do you have any idea just how much I HATE even being the centre of attention, much less how i hate being laughed at? Which is why I will weed those that stand, stood or are standing in my way, because, true to the song, "I never did like and I never will love fans"Fuck is it?
There, which means I will systematically remove key military positions- call it payback for being forced to come out of the closet, when I would have liked to just be the Invisible Man- and will make parts of the land that I so touch permanently uncultivateable, and also, I am reserving for myself... fuck is obama even STILL in the country? I have to check!
fuck, with that jet that made it a point to zoom past like those chinooks the other time when I did my "I will destroy you all" speech when he was last here, I am assuming that he is, and wanted to put me in my place, like everyone, I guess. Currently, I am listening in the background to zuma making a speech on the speakers in the cafe, but I do not think it is to anyone else but ANC cadres, because when I got here he was talking of "former chairman of the ANC and former state president mr thabo mbeki, et.c, and so, i will NOT bother. I will get that plane anyway, and I am going to drive around -there is a bmw 850i two door on the road back from wynberg-last time i walked, that is- that I will appropriate, and use for that, or maybe a harley, or something flashy. I mean, how difficult can it be, with everyone so fearful and busy and grieving while i come out, like the terminator, "They say I'm bad, ba-ba-ba-bad....!"
I havce had time to just go"?!" and stop things because of small details. like "how, why. what, when", and so, now i think I have almost everything covered, except for one thing. I really would like that woman with me. Really! And her alone, with no baggage, because i can not handle excess baggage. She is probably the ONLY, hell DEFINITELY the only person I can BEAR
YEAH-SSSS
On the way to the internet cafe, I was reflecting on people going, "But you can not just do as you please with people's lives!", and this scene from the comedy Rat Race-which I have watched curiously, at crucial times in my life, where the guy who had this hotel, and this toothy grin, goes, "GRRR, I can do as I like, I am eccentric", came to mind, and also, brought me down to earth, because the first time I saw the comedy, I was at a crisis point as far as solving the Goldbach Conjecture was concerned. I was wondering what the deal with the money was, and when i saw how the participants were manipulated in the film with people betting to see who would win, I firmed my decision NOT to go that route, and achieved the freedom to start "count1ng numb3r5", later when I could correct everything from the roots up. So, fuck, we are GOING to deal with everything, from numbers all the way to the so-called theory of relativity, because i am focusing on 'rocket science' see?
The other time I saw the comedy, i did not find it so funny, and that was recently, at vinnie's, and i was at that time debating what to do about stopping the rat race in my own life as far as women are concerned, and I was finding out that I had come to love just one woman, and that it did not do to go on pretending that there could be others. It was not fitting to put someone whose opinion of me had grown to matter more than i have ever thought possible through that, so I started backing off, my own way, of course, and so, now, here I am. I do not even have a hope that, with everything around us, and everything that makes me ME so glaringly in everyone's -even hers- face, I could ever hope to have her anywhere near me, because i have decided on KILLING people just so that I can go and not be laughed at when i go. I mean, do you have any idea just how much I HATE even being the centre of attention, much less how i hate being laughed at? Which is why I will weed those that stand, stood or are standing in my way, because, true to the song, "I never did like and I never will love fans"Fuck is it?
fuck, with that jet that made it a point to zoom past like those chinooks the other time when I did my "I will destroy you all" speech when he was last here, I am assuming that he is, and wanted to put me in my place, like everyone, I guess. Currently, I am listening in the background to zuma making a speech on the speakers in the cafe, but I do not think it is to anyone else but ANC cadres, because when I got here he was talking of "former chairman of the ANC and former state president mr thabo mbeki, et.c, and so, i will NOT bother. I will get that plane anyway, and I am going to drive around -there is a bmw 850i two door on the road back from wynberg-last time i walked, that is- that I will appropriate, and use for that, or maybe a harley, or something flashy. I mean, how difficult can it be, with everyone so fearful and busy and grieving while i come out, like the terminator, "They say I'm bad, ba-ba-ba-bad....!"
