I would not have gone to church yesterday if I had not seen the smart chick, father and mother making their way to the bakery as I and vinnie walked to the container. But they did, and I was worrying about missing out on ... something, and I wanted somewhere where I could get some... refuge... but I wanted some free time, and space, so I decided NOT to start the day in such an exposed state, and then, I went to church.
And the whole sermon was an attempt to get me to acknowledge thT christ was the legitimate lord , the link to God, and that the holy spirit was legitimately sent by God to stand in for christ , who stood in for God, so that one day there would be a transformatiion and all people would be 'reconciled' to God.
And that I was a 'sinner' and needed salvation, and should not cling to selfish ambition but should be like christ who 'being in the form of God, did not consider that something to be grasped [and there was some Greek thrown in, to show that this was something that had been thoroughly reseached, words like 'morphos', et.c] but made himself of no account... bla bla" I walked out when it was communion time.
because I had gone there, not because I want God, or need christ, but because all the time I have been denying myself what I know, and whether I look at it from any angle, the truth still comes out the same. Your God, that you all say is the One that sent christ, who, as i was told [note that all the "evidence" of christ's sovereignity is found in the New Testament, which is in itself quite a paradox, because God said He would not BREAK the OLD testament] was 'with' God in everything, NEVER , ever allowed anyone to STAND in for Him, because He is jealous, and He wants ALL the glory for Himself, and even when you look at His statement to Peter on the mount at the epiphany, GOD said, and I will translate it into EVERYDAY english so that you get THE fucking point:-" This is the Only One to come out of Me. Hear and analyse what he says", and THAT was the reason peter asked, afterwards, "why then is IT WRITTEN that elijah will come first?", and jesus waffled there, because NOWHERE is it written that 'the son of man' must suffer first and be crucified and rise on the third day. YOUR christ is the one that clings on to things and seeks to force himself where he is not wanted, not ME. Fuck, if I could fucking DIE, if I knew any way I could just let all this go and just DIE, I would. I do not want any part of this, and yet I am HERE, and so, fools, you will have to get used to THAT, because NOW I have run out of places to hide. i have eaten so much of your humiliation I am NOW going to show you just how much I CARE, which is VERY little. Idiots!
I had my face stuffed into this woman's ass the day after i wrote that I cared for her, and she gave me the impression that she was very happy I was NOW tied up, right where she wanted me, and so, I get to see her walk out of THAT building- interpretation "if you want anything to do with me, it will be on MY terms, meaning you do as I want, to make ME comfortable"- and she walks up to the bakery, and back out again, and goes and ensonces herself in that building, again. Well, hooray, now the father of your child, every male that you pissed me off with, and even your child, is DEAD. Because you, a person I... hoped... would be different, showed that, like everyone else, you care NOTHING for me, and I am just something for you to gloat over, someone to show around as a trophy to others.
And i am so fed up with this bullshit, that I will kill you myself before I leave.
As for the rest of you people, well, i thought about being lenient, of letting things go, but fuck, this is NOT something that makes me happy, to be in this position.
And this is what will happen. Just to show my humanity, and my 'selflessness'.
I am going to do this, from one end of the world to the other I will totally ravage this world, and in a country with 40 million people, I will leave but 400 000, and in the case of the american continent, everything south of the US, and the US itself, will be totally destroyed, and NOTHING will remain alive in that part of the world. I will do the same for the UK, because of that guy who thought he could USE me, brak my back, while trying to hammer into me that his son deserved to live. So the entire english pupulation, regardless of WHERE in the world it is, will DIE, and that , as is everything that I have said before will NOT be changed.
Any woman who has thought she could exploit my 'naivette' and show "STUPID" me that she is the one who ought to be in my arms, is similarly DEAD.And i will leave such a trail of destruction in THIS country that in a square mile, no two families will remain intact. I care NOT if they are zimbabwean or white, or whoever. It is now MY fight against every single one of you, so that I RAM the truth of God down your throats, and no one will have any optiuon but to LISTEN.
so, if you thought that I could be swayed, or told what to do, or cajoled into being a convert, then fuck you, I PROMISED that whoever, tries to convince me otherwise, will DIE. So, you have failed, again, not surprisingly, to pay attention, and so, you will reap the consequences. And you will die.
because I will no longer hold back my rage, no longer hold back my anger, for every time I restrain myself, you all think me a little twerp, and think I can be taken advantage of, like I have no idea what I am doing. Well, prepare to meet your doom, fools, for I am now rising, and going on the warpath. Oh, yess, and just because I am selfish, and of course, because I am terminally ill, and hiv-positive, and need help,need to be guided to chirist who 'bore all our infirmities', I will do this also, I will topple forever this 'pillar' that you have all lifted up. By the time I am done, your chirst, who sits in heaven, will be down here, on this earth, and I will parade that 1.6m imp before you all before i send him to hell, because I will NOT be mocked with this nonsense anymore. FUCK This!
by this evening, i will have a plan of action mapped out, and then I will act on it, with immediate effect. Count on THAT!
YEAH-SSS!
And the whole sermon was an attempt to get me to acknowledge thT christ was the legitimate lord , the link to God, and that the holy spirit was legitimately sent by God to stand in for christ , who stood in for God, so that one day there would be a transformatiion and all people would be 'reconciled' to God.
And that I was a 'sinner' and needed salvation, and should not cling to selfish ambition but should be like christ who 'being in the form of God, did not consider that something to be grasped [and there was some Greek thrown in, to show that this was something that had been thoroughly reseached, words like 'morphos', et.c] but made himself of no account... bla bla" I walked out when it was communion time.
because I had gone there, not because I want God, or need christ, but because all the time I have been denying myself what I know, and whether I look at it from any angle, the truth still comes out the same. Your God, that you all say is the One that sent christ, who, as i was told [note that all the "evidence" of christ's sovereignity is found in the New Testament, which is in itself quite a paradox, because God said He would not BREAK the OLD testament] was 'with' God in everything, NEVER , ever allowed anyone to STAND in for Him, because He is jealous, and He wants ALL the glory for Himself, and even when you look at His statement to Peter on the mount at the epiphany, GOD said, and I will translate it into EVERYDAY english so that you get THE fucking point:-" This is the Only One to come out of Me. Hear and analyse what he says", and THAT was the reason peter asked, afterwards, "why then is IT WRITTEN that elijah will come first?", and jesus waffled there, because NOWHERE is it written that 'the son of man' must suffer first and be crucified and rise on the third day. YOUR christ is the one that clings on to things and seeks to force himself where he is not wanted, not ME. Fuck, if I could fucking DIE, if I knew any way I could just let all this go and just DIE, I would. I do not want any part of this, and yet I am HERE, and so, fools, you will have to get used to THAT, because NOW I have run out of places to hide. i have eaten so much of your humiliation I am NOW going to show you just how much I CARE, which is VERY little. Idiots!
I had my face stuffed into this woman's ass the day after i wrote that I cared for her, and she gave me the impression that she was very happy I was NOW tied up, right where she wanted me, and so, I get to see her walk out of THAT building- interpretation "if you want anything to do with me, it will be on MY terms, meaning you do as I want, to make ME comfortable"- and she walks up to the bakery, and back out again, and goes and ensonces herself in that building, again. Well, hooray, now the father of your child, every male that you pissed me off with, and even your child, is DEAD. Because you, a person I... hoped... would be different, showed that, like everyone else, you care NOTHING for me, and I am just something for you to gloat over, someone to show around as a trophy to others.
And i am so fed up with this bullshit, that I will kill you myself before I leave.
As for the rest of you people, well, i thought about being lenient, of letting things go, but fuck, this is NOT something that makes me happy, to be in this position.
And this is what will happen. Just to show my humanity, and my 'selflessness'.
I am going to do this, from one end of the world to the other I will totally ravage this world, and in a country with 40 million people, I will leave but 400 000, and in the case of the american continent, everything south of the US, and the US itself, will be totally destroyed, and NOTHING will remain alive in that part of the world. I will do the same for the UK, because of that guy who thought he could USE me, brak my back, while trying to hammer into me that his son deserved to live. So the entire english pupulation, regardless of WHERE in the world it is, will DIE, and that , as is everything that I have said before will NOT be changed.
Any woman who has thought she could exploit my 'naivette' and show "STUPID" me that she is the one who ought to be in my arms, is similarly DEAD.And i will leave such a trail of destruction in THIS country that in a square mile, no two families will remain intact. I care NOT if they are zimbabwean or white, or whoever. It is now MY fight against every single one of you, so that I RAM the truth of God down your throats, and no one will have any optiuon but to LISTEN.
so, if you thought that I could be swayed, or told what to do, or cajoled into being a convert, then fuck you, I PROMISED that whoever, tries to convince me otherwise, will DIE. So, you have failed, again, not surprisingly, to pay attention, and so, you will reap the consequences. And you will die.
because I will no longer hold back my rage, no longer hold back my anger, for every time I restrain myself, you all think me a little twerp, and think I can be taken advantage of, like I have no idea what I am doing. Well, prepare to meet your doom, fools, for I am now rising, and going on the warpath. Oh, yess, and just because I am selfish, and of course, because I am terminally ill, and hiv-positive, and need help,need to be guided to chirist who 'bore all our infirmities', I will do this also, I will topple forever this 'pillar' that you have all lifted up. By the time I am done, your chirst, who sits in heaven, will be down here, on this earth, and I will parade that 1.6m imp before you all before i send him to hell, because I will NOT be mocked with this nonsense anymore. FUCK This!
by this evening, i will have a plan of action mapped out, and then I will act on it, with immediate effect. Count on THAT!
YEAH-SSS!
