Maybe, as I have discovered over the course of the day yesterday, many of you have a problem getting around the fact that I am THE α and ω when it comes to eh... everything, so, before I tell you all what you already do NOT want to accept, that, barring maybe two people, I AM going to kill everyone I said I will kill, and the best thing you all could do is to just accept it or , even if I may not have any say over the temperature in hell, I will make the method of getting there as painful as possible, I will take you down memory lane so that you all may see what is what, and maybe, hurry up and get dead up, fools!
Now, after God had happened, and I had exhausted every possible means both short term and long term, to die, and I had ended up being laughed at after my most spectacular attempt had ended me up at valkenberg, and I had, after coming out, received a hug from this coloured chick, and it had profoundly had an effect on me, i still went wandering around still trying to get to grips with the weirdness of my life, and then decided to do it again, and ended up, after rat poisoning myself, at False Bay Hospital, and later went to Happy Valley Home, where I had to start to come face to face with my fears, which were, that I was stuck up in life, and either had to get on good terms with God or else I was about to carry on being humiliated, and laughed at, for the remainder of the 15 years set for me. So, I finished the solution for the Goldbach Conjecture, and tried to work God into it, which is why I started on "Counting Numbers", which, fuck it, GOES, under the blog title, "It all started with... numbers...and then it became about God..."
I tried to kiss His ass and ... failed.
Because I hate Him, because I do not even want to ... serve... Him, and He did, after all, point out, in the isaiah 6:1-13 vision, "in the year that king uzziah died...", and that was it, I was no GOOD at trying to give glory to God about things that, to me, had fuck all to do with Him.
God has done one thing to me, and it shows in everything that happens to me, and His take on everything to do with me, He has made me impervious to any attack from anything, and He has made me, also, as an afterthought, capable of ... bitter and horrendous things, in keeping with my attitude on people, and that makes me a likely target for everyone who has the gall to try to 'correct' me on how i should behave, and the fact is, I do not fucking care about all this, and that, apparently is hard for them fools to accept, I mean, all of YOU fools.
when, for example, i decide i am going to kill people, they think it is something light, so, I will educate you fools on how it all is, so that maybe you will see where i am coming from.
by the way, I have sort of given up on any sort of love life. some things are just too impossible. More later.
I tried to kiss His ass and ... failed.
Because I hate Him, because I do not even want to ... serve... Him, and He did, after all, point out, in the isaiah 6:1-13 vision, "in the year that king uzziah died...", and that was it, I was no GOOD at trying to give glory to God about things that, to me, had fuck all to do with Him.
God has done one thing to me, and it shows in everything that happens to me, and His take on everything to do with me, He has made me impervious to any attack from anything, and He has made me, also, as an afterthought, capable of ... bitter and horrendous things, in keeping with my attitude on people, and that makes me a likely target for everyone who has the gall to try to 'correct' me on how i should behave, and the fact is, I do not fucking care about all this, and that, apparently is hard for them fools to accept, I mean, all of YOU fools.
when, for example, i decide i am going to kill people, they think it is something light, so, I will educate you fools on how it all is, so that maybe you will see where i am coming from.
by the way, I have sort of given up on any sort of love life. some things are just too impossible. More later.
This is my story
real ghetto story
real ghetto story
this is my story
survival story...
I remember those days when hell was my home...
I am not for sale.
i can not forget. Anything.
when someone or something pissed me off, I kept a record, and that HAS to be accounted for. To the last drop. So, when I said to the little mama, to the women who took me for someone to be 'stopped in his tracks', like michelle pereira, or all those women who, now walk all woeful because they see something hard taking place in my face, and see that what was fun when they took drags on fags, and were in some foursomes and laughing as I walked past with their SOs and i took it, and now they can not understand why I am contemplating the worst possible means of inflicting pain on them, well, lets call it balancing the scales. because I will never forget.
And I will make you fools pay, take that as a given. Immutable.
i can not forget. Anything.
when someone or something pissed me off, I kept a record, and that HAS to be accounted for. To the last drop. So, when I said to the little mama, to the women who took me for someone to be 'stopped in his tracks', like michelle pereira, or all those women who, now walk all woeful because they see something hard taking place in my face, and see that what was fun when they took drags on fags, and were in some foursomes and laughing as I walked past with their SOs and i took it, and now they can not understand why I am contemplating the worst possible means of inflicting pain on them, well, lets call it balancing the scales. because I will never forget.
And I will make you fools pay, take that as a given. Immutable.
because from me it is like this:- I do not even want to be in this shit, and two, I NEVER went looking for anyone, to seek love or something like that, because I am NOT interested in anything or anyone, but at the same time, I can not forget acts of kindness, and what I want to do is figure out, when such unexpected things happen to me, WHY someone would even look at me like I am anything, and see whether I am being taken for a cunt or if it is the genuine thing.
Apparently, I can not get that part into this woman's thick head, because THAT is all I wanted to know, and well, since she can not get that clear to me, I have put two and two together, told God this morning, "fuck You, I am done with this piece of shit, this woman cares NOTHING for ME, so, I will kill them all, and destroy this whole kalk bay in the process as well".
Anyway, about the other people I am going to destroy;- the jews?:- well, the holy spirit has ONE agenda, that is to return the glory to israel, and so, since this is MY time, i will remove every single jew from the face of the planet, just so that he knows that he is now dealing with the greatest fury this world will EVER know, and fuck, I am THINKING things that will make even the atom bomb, or the worst disasters that you have ever read about seem like a baby's fart in comparison. I am MAD, and at everything, and I am in NO mood for any bullshit. Fuck, BEFORE people die, they will suffer such intense pain they will wish they were dead, but that will only be the beginning, and i am just getting warmed up, oh yeah-ss!and the reason why I am against the holy spirit? he tried to do the God bit, and cajole me into acting. well, I am about to act NOW, and he is NOT going to like it. I am MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD!!!!
I went to vinnie's stall, and started work. this woman came up, wanted something made, and I sat down and started concentrating on it, and saw the looks that were directed at me;-I had told this guard that i used to like, junior, the other day, to tell them fools upstairs-and if he had any sense he would have quit his job, and remained alive, but then, i am full of shit, right? we shall see about THAT- that what I promised to do I will do, after I had sorted out something I was waiting for, and instead of them fools also backing off, they intensified their attention on me. There is this woman who came maybe I was supposed to be attracted to her or something, and she was speaking on the phone, and walking about in front of me- must be a relative of mike's, they all love this phonicating thing, and then, when some asshole decided to take a choke hold on abisha, she ran to get vinnie, and kenneth was on hand to restrain me because i was crazy and needed a straight jacket or something, but that was NOT even yesterday. As for... fuck, I need a song here.
Yesterday, I was busy, and the apple chick drove past, and I looked, to see if she was coming to work, and she drove past, and whether she went looking for parking elsewhere-she IS slimy that way- I did not even bother seeing, because NOW, from my point of view, i am being left with the baby when it is HER task to clarify things to me, and well, i get to kill her or let her live if i am satisfied. No, I am a clown, performing before a live audience, with cameras zooming in on very act of mine. Fuck, if vinnie was not among them fools I would be acting out my rage, instead of ...communicating... about it.
anyway, everyone was busy looking at me, and then, I decided, OK, this sucks, and, like that time when, after God put in His two cents worth with the "what tangled webs we weave" statement, and I started collecting books because i 'knew' that being involved with this chick who wanted me to make a move and was piqued that i just looked at her and did nothing, was never going to be, because i can NOT initiate anything- DOES anyone get THAT part? fuck, I feel like I have wasted all my time here, and of course, I blame God- that has to do with a 'relationship', I ended up thinking food, and I went to get it.
i am not sure about the sequence, whether the asshole came because he saw that I had seen that the apple chick was NOT at work or whether he thought that it was over that i will NOT destroy anything that mike had a hand in, but the imp showed up, walking past me with a determined face, like, 'screw you, who the fuck do you think you are'. I laughed, shook my head, and decided to let that ride, but when goatface came, as I, looking frustratedly for a cup to drink out of, decided to buy a glass instead, and went into the bottle store, and he came shopping, and put his basket right behind me, i decided that enough was enough, and walked out. and decided that I was speaking greek, like " αητσχτου " or something.
then, my heart plunged, because as i stood by the pizza stove, looking away from everyone and everything, the gallery woman decided, after some woman came upm to me and greeted me and I ignored her, to come sit right in my line of sight. Now, i am not even sure what her role in all this is, but i wanted NO beef with her. I mean, I AM going to totally trash the gallery, and kill everyone that has put their nose in my business and the whole building, and well, probably leave her homeless in the bargain, but from the way God stepped in the first time I wanted her dead, and diverted my attention to my sister the day after, I did NOT want her dead. But she took my suffering her to sit without my turning my back on her for some kind of bending to her whims, and decided to act like some kind of intercessor.
so, she dies.
later, when i got to saw mike, and ... froze... in shock, she was out, in a flash, like the apple chick, and stood by the coloured guy's car who must have something to do in the gallery, and I passed her by, and tried to say something in the midst of my rage, "Warn dem... make it clear again". but i suppose i am just a will-o-the wisp type of guy, who does not blow consistent, but waxes and wanes.
when I saw the apple chick come a little later and look for parking, I decided to wrap things up. That means I get to live celibate, shame, but then,I never thought anything much would happen. Did I?
Apparently, I can not get that part into this woman's thick head, because THAT is all I wanted to know, and well, since she can not get that clear to me, I have put two and two together, told God this morning, "fuck You, I am done with this piece of shit, this woman cares NOTHING for ME, so, I will kill them all, and destroy this whole kalk bay in the process as well".
Anyway, about the other people I am going to destroy;- the jews?:- well, the holy spirit has ONE agenda, that is to return the glory to israel, and so, since this is MY time, i will remove every single jew from the face of the planet, just so that he knows that he is now dealing with the greatest fury this world will EVER know, and fuck, I am THINKING things that will make even the atom bomb, or the worst disasters that you have ever read about seem like a baby's fart in comparison. I am MAD, and at everything, and I am in NO mood for any bullshit. Fuck, BEFORE people die, they will suffer such intense pain they will wish they were dead, but that will only be the beginning, and i am just getting warmed up, oh yeah-ss!and the reason why I am against the holy spirit? he tried to do the God bit, and cajole me into acting. well, I am about to act NOW, and he is NOT going to like it. I am MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD!!!!
HHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!
Now, this is what happened yesterday.I went to vinnie's stall, and started work. this woman came up, wanted something made, and I sat down and started concentrating on it, and saw the looks that were directed at me;-I had told this guard that i used to like, junior, the other day, to tell them fools upstairs-and if he had any sense he would have quit his job, and remained alive, but then, i am full of shit, right? we shall see about THAT- that what I promised to do I will do, after I had sorted out something I was waiting for, and instead of them fools also backing off, they intensified their attention on me. There is this woman who came maybe I was supposed to be attracted to her or something, and she was speaking on the phone, and walking about in front of me- must be a relative of mike's, they all love this phonicating thing, and then, when some asshole decided to take a choke hold on abisha, she ran to get vinnie, and kenneth was on hand to restrain me because i was crazy and needed a straight jacket or something, but that was NOT even yesterday. As for... fuck, I need a song here.
anyway, everyone was busy looking at me, and then, I decided, OK, this sucks, and, like that time when, after God put in His two cents worth with the "what tangled webs we weave" statement, and I started collecting books because i 'knew' that being involved with this chick who wanted me to make a move and was piqued that i just looked at her and did nothing, was never going to be, because i can NOT initiate anything- DOES anyone get THAT part? fuck, I feel like I have wasted all my time here, and of course, I blame God- that has to do with a 'relationship', I ended up thinking food, and I went to get it.
i am not sure about the sequence, whether the asshole came because he saw that I had seen that the apple chick was NOT at work or whether he thought that it was over that i will NOT destroy anything that mike had a hand in, but the imp showed up, walking past me with a determined face, like, 'screw you, who the fuck do you think you are'. I laughed, shook my head, and decided to let that ride, but when goatface came, as I, looking frustratedly for a cup to drink out of, decided to buy a glass instead, and went into the bottle store, and he came shopping, and put his basket right behind me, i decided that enough was enough, and walked out. and decided that I was speaking greek, like " αητσχτου " or something.
then, my heart plunged, because as i stood by the pizza stove, looking away from everyone and everything, the gallery woman decided, after some woman came upm to me and greeted me and I ignored her, to come sit right in my line of sight. Now, i am not even sure what her role in all this is, but i wanted NO beef with her. I mean, I AM going to totally trash the gallery, and kill everyone that has put their nose in my business and the whole building, and well, probably leave her homeless in the bargain, but from the way God stepped in the first time I wanted her dead, and diverted my attention to my sister the day after, I did NOT want her dead. But she took my suffering her to sit without my turning my back on her for some kind of bending to her whims, and decided to act like some kind of intercessor.
so, she dies.
later, when i got to saw mike, and ... froze... in shock, she was out, in a flash, like the apple chick, and stood by the coloured guy's car who must have something to do in the gallery, and I passed her by, and tried to say something in the midst of my rage, "Warn dem... make it clear again". but i suppose i am just a will-o-the wisp type of guy, who does not blow consistent, but waxes and wanes.
when I saw the apple chick come a little later and look for parking, I decided to wrap things up. That means I get to live celibate, shame, but then,I never thought anything much would happen. Did I?
