And you are NOT going to like it, NOOOO!
this is the thing:- first, there i was, in a shack called optimistically the fisherman's hut, and I was watching as a coloured chick, with NO front teeth, and a boyfriedn who had gone out for ... something... made a play for me, presumably to see if I would pounce on her and all that, and I suddenly took stock of myself, my situation, and for maybe the first time in my life, i instictively reached out to God, and called for help.
which was when He sent that ark vision, with the "Tell Me what you want from Me" statement and the bat wing thing...
So, when I started seeing women, like on the 25th of May last year, show so much fear of me, and I was on the OTHER side of the road, to begin with, and NOT even paying attention to the chick, and she acted as if she had come up against an invisible electric fence or something, she stopped so suddenly;- I was nonplussed, and even later on when the other womantried to smile as she sat across from me and yet ended up with a sort of frozen grimace, well, the thing is, I had NO idea that anything about me could be taken to be... terrifying.
And so on till I came to the tenth, the S/Town chick who i saw a while ago in kalk bay, and she looked at ME- I mean, ME, the guy that super-sensitive tony, with such delicate nostrils, could smell the armpits of even UNDER the jacket I wore over the hood-top which was over the T-shirt- as if i was the best thing she had ever laid eyes on, and i had last seen her last year.
of course, it is ridiculous for ANYONE to be so terrified of just a single, lone, person that is not even so, well set up, or so muscular, or even packing anything, right?
but I figure out now that God had a REASON in opening certain people's eyes, so that He could open MINE:
I had NO idea that I was so.... angry. Or that I kept that anger on me like it was something i had given up hope that i would ever let out.
kinda reminds me of the statement that God Himself said, which everyone looks at in such a positive light, but, I mean, lets look at it as IS. 2 Chronicles 7: 12- 14
'And God spoke to him that very same night and said "I have heard your prayer, and chosen this place for Myself for a house of sacrifice.
When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command the locusts to devour the land, or if I send a pestilence among my people
If my people, who are called by MY name, will humble themselves, and pray, and seek MY face, and turn from their icked ways, then I will hear from heaven,
I will FORGIVE their sin
and HEAL their land..."'
So, I mean, fine, people want to take forgiveness as the act of God letting go what He held against the people, but that is bullshit. He showed what He meant when He literally cleared the land of the jews, but then, OK, THEY never humbled themselves, see, and so, OK, I will concede that maybe anyone may have a ... point... in suggesting that God's anger was... unabated... simply because He was NOT listened to.
BUT then, what about this kijng that found the book of the law, and was so smitten by what he read that he went, Oh boy, we are dead, and God's anger THEN manifested itself and he told them He would destroy the land, but only in the days of the king's son, because the man had humvbled himself before God?
ha?
NOW, are you getting a ... sense of why, as i concluded when i made my way up the mountain last night, there will probaboly be less than a hundred people left on the continent once i start going?
I am pissed off. I was born angry, with everything, refusing to accept the status quo and unable to express myself, leting that frustration eat into me till it got me trungin everything inwards, and thus, effectively, chewing myself up with anger that i THOUGHT I had no right to even express.
Till I figured out that if I was a mistake, as my mother said, then EVERYONE was a mistake, and i had the edge over everyone, and that was that I had it in MY power to alter everything, and leave only what I wanted in place.
And because of the fact that the cultures are so dissimilar and so opposite that for anyone on either side to notice the other it would be as the person IS, I suppose i settled on white women, to choose those for MYSELF, or have God do so for Myself, which pretty much amonts to the same thing while i let loose the one thing i KNOW is NOT second nature to me, but is what makes me literally live:- MY anger.
i will NOT deny myself the opportunity of smashing faces in, ort killing fools witgh my own bare hands.
I will destroy them assholes and bitches, but MY way, and after this, i will leave ONLY the europeans, or such as are in South Africa NOW as have not pissed me of, or that I owe something to, but even THEN, I am going to leave the continent as more backward than it has been in the past 400 years, because I will NOT have witnesses to what happens next as I make my way to europe.
so, aside from my parents, my sisters and two cousins and a nephew, NO other member of my family will live, and in South Africa, aside from vinnie and those such as he holds dear, and abisha, I am terminating everyone's life, unless the people have my ... word they will live.
And i know of only a handful that i will spare.
BUT, I am taking my vengeance on MY enemies, and will clear the ... WORLD... before I leave, yesss!
Now, is THAT clear?
Good!
Now, head will start to roll, and people start dying.
I am on the warpath, yesssssss!
