So, i was hesitant about going to vinnie, because i thought I had crossed the line big time with him, and it would have pained me to have put someone who has shown such uncharacteristic kindness to an outcast like me to trouble, and he had me sit down, and we talked, or rather, he talked and I listened, flaring up when he mentioned how the guy had come back and threatened him:- I wanted to strangle the dead man walking, but then he said he had himself gone to see the guy? Or did I hear wrong?, and then the guy had apologised, so I was to just make myself like he was, humble myself and say sorry, and then smooth things over.
i listened, and drew the line, told him I would NOT go see the guy, but if he came I would listen, but NOT apologise or say sorry because I was NOT sorry, but NO, I would not fight him, not in front of vinnie, no.
the dead man walking later came, and I took one look at him and I could not help laughing. We were cool. And so, relax, I will keep my word. We are good. It is over, for real. You did the ONE thing that makes you safe my man, and that is when I figured out just WHAT I am. In had an idea before, but now I KNOW.
I am The God of War, no doubt, but God's way is 'speak' and it will be done, NOT act it out.
this is how it comes about.
let me ask a rhetorical question?
have you ever been killed?
Obviously NOT.
Shot at?
Some have. Some have lived in battlefields, and have developed the 'thousand yard stare' where they look through you and all that, and seem in their own reality, right?
Yet few people can say that they have had their mothers go beyond TRYING to kill them and actually go the whole nine yards, and fail. NO ONE I know of. And so, I have had no chance to develop the 'sentiment' called "love", because if one can love someone as oneself, and i can NOT love myself, or my own life, then how the fuck does one such as me interact with anyone?
By NOT seeing as you do, that is why.
I see people in ONE of two ways, as enemy or as beneath me, and anything else is confusing, and I tend to run away from that.
Which is why I can NOT have girlfriends, or be friendly to women, which is why I do NOT have rapport with some women, even though they think I ought to act in a certain way to them. Because i can NOT act as they think, and which is why even God gave me obscure guidelines which left me free to live my life as i saw fit, and arrange it as i wanted.
Now, I can NOT kill my mother, but I need one thing from her, which i have already explained, and so, to keep her alive till that time, i will have to leave, and so, of course, i will have to take some women that have changed from thinking, like, say, the english art chick, that they were above me, to being UNDER me, or realising that the person they thought could be subjugated does NOT know the meaning of the word, and so, decide, since i AM set on killing the females that pissed me off anyway if they do not bow down before me, and do as I please, not as they see fit, but as demand, which is, to put it rather indelicately, become sex objects, ha ha, OK, let me put this in song form, the song says it better:-
Oh and by the way, this is, true to form, academic, because the women are already THERE, and so, since I could never give my mother the satisfaction of reading of me looking for a woman, and since, technically, since I CAN NOT also expose myself even later to vinnie, who is the reason I have taken back my warlike attitude:_ I will just remove the SA government, and pave way for myself to take over and take my women and leave, and destroy the inhabitants of the american continent, which makes it somewhat interesting to see if the canadian chick and her mother will continue to resist me, so that this chick bows down to me...
Ah fuck, let me take it from the top.
I am not really interested in anything except that if a woman was looking my way she was not involved with anyone else. (Unless she tried to run my life.)
if she was then she is dead.
which makes the assy chick's behaviour rather interesting, because as she did the other time, she showed up with HER mother today as i sat with vinnie after his, or rather during his lecture, and I tried not to pay attention, but IF she had been trying to get me jealous then she failed, because I do not resort to tricks to get women. No, the woman breaks out, exposes herself, and that is it. So, since she is facing death anyway, what does she have to lose? Unless that guy she KISSED was really something to her, and they did things together, which makes her very dead, yes. So, I hope for HER sake she is the woman that was pinned to a tree in that vision, in which case only the guy dies, yes?
as for the 'am I a recess project?' there is just ONE women that would be alive if she was in an aisle, and that is the st-peters woman who I know has a son, and if she comes anywhere near me WITH the child then I will gleefully kill her, but then, it is ALSO about her daughter, and I will have my fun and poke my nose at my mother at the same time.
Then there is the woman with her mini skirt, and well, if she was NOT single and celibate, i would be really annoyed, and if she tried to show me her kids, and I resisted, and wanted none of them till she herself realised that she would have to leave all that behind, then fuck, that means only ONE type of person, and you will see, this is all somehow FROM God, because I resist having any responsibility for things myself as that would compromise my own indifference to life... so, she has to be the little mother, who, of course has the choice to do as I say, or die. I like this, ha ha!
I will make it sweet. I am NOT interested in her daughter, or her son, unless she defies me, and then all die.
now, how many are there?
art chick
canada chick [elsewhere]
ass chick
little mother
st-peters mother
st-peters daughter
and then, with the dutch girl and the german girl, i have 28 women, and then the next few years i will plunge my rage into all of you until I get ... recognition, and then i will leave you alive if I get that, or I will kill you all. The choice is yours.
now, does anyone want to put THAT to the test? ha!
ha, I mean, i am just a mad mountain dweller that has internet access, right?
fuck, lets get it on, if you want. I am ready to put this all to the test and kill you suckes at a word. Oh, yes, and remove the holy spirit from your lives. I owe someone that much at least, yes?
