a bad thing with me, because when i was walking up the mountain, i sensed the tension in me, the tearing apart of my resolve, and so, I ... howled.And God then spoke to me, "Call unto Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things you have not known", and I suppose that , of course, i was worrying, as i said, about ONE thing, and today, as things turned out, I got to vinnie's and he was not there, and decided to come to the library, with the one thing spurring me on being the oft repeated- and i mean ad nauseum- statement, 'you are in for a surprise' ringing in my head.
there were two emails in my inbox, from my favourite person, a female cousin, Tariro Angela Mashora Simbi, and i had written to her telling her i was coming to mysenses and wanted to know what was up at home.
unbidden, she spoke of my sister, in the first email, which i opened last;- the ... dying one... having been married but the husband dies, and she was back at home and that my father kept on asking about me.
i had responded to the first one I read, telling her that i can not come home, and that in a little while she would hear a lot of things about me, but I was not that bad;- i could be worse, but i was leaving soon for the states without papers... and PLEASE tell me that Yeu is still alive, when i opened the first one she sent.
so, i guess, I am NOT going to take it out on others, my anger.
NOT all of it.
She is alive, still accident prone, so i will perform the switch i mentioned, my health for the faggot's life, her health for his sister's, and then kill the mother as well, but, aside from people that have personally pissed me off, and upset me, i am not touching any of these assholes, yet. Not until they KNOW why they must die. Because i ... understand they do not really have a clue, yet.
but the xhosas, the zulus, the coloureds, well, they are dead, dead, dead. i mean, i have to make MY point here, and, as i mentioned, i am going 'rogue', and blzing a path that is independent of religion, colour or creed, and all of it is about payback. Before i go where none will dare follow.
And i do not mean the states.
So, I will NOT be killing people's relatives, yet, but i suppose that, when you get right down to it, I will have to remove the zim government as well, just to level the playing field. I have no love for mugabe, who has taken the country, made it his own playground, and with his clever rhetoric and empty words, disguised the fact that for HIM, it is all about power, and his hold on it.
now, by MY nature, NO ONE stands and makes such decisions affecting people's lives except me, and so, the asshole and everything that constitutes a governement, or political party, or anything with leanings thereto, or supporting or resisting that [which when you get down to it is the same thing, because one's 'rebel' is another's 'freedom fighter' and history is written by the victors, and i know so much how to be a victim it irritates me to see someone have the gall to inflict his own 'rule' on people] will be removed BEFORE i take my first step out of this country.
in fact, ALL of that goes first.
So, while i may not be killing people, i am still watching to see what the fuck happenes NOW.
Will someone still think I am a mule to be loaded with a child?
mmmh!
This is about to get interesting, yes?
YESSSSS!
However, now that I am not so... afraid... that what i hoped for God would take as insignificant and throw away, I am not as ready as i was to throw out the bath tub with the dirty water.
However, there ARE som fellow zimbabweans that well, MUST be dealt with. For some reason I, the person that is ready to deal with things first with my fist and think about it later, never got to the physical point with these people. It just never happened.
Ok, so THEY die.
the hands-off way.
just as some xhosas and coloured people will get to live.
but, fuck, it is by MY rules, where I decide what remains on the earth and what does not.
Certainly NO american. I hate neighbours!
