Government Thor

Of course, when I looked up, I could not believe what I was seeing, because either the guy had a deathwish worse than mine had ever been, or the fools actually thought they had me cornered. I even, for a while, felt like the character played by chris rock in that movie, where everyone is forced to jump off the cliff into the water without clothes, as he went "no one is afraid of black men anymore:- damn you obama!", only I was directing this at God, how He had stripped me off everything and now I was at the mercy of all these fools, and could do nothing about it. But, had He?
Anyway, let me rewind and drop it from the top. Saturday, after my watershed post, I went back to kalk bay. I had R3 in my pocket, and was as inclined to work to make money as a river is to flow upstream. I was disheartened, and grumpy, and felt that here again, God had played with my hopes, leading me by false pretenses to come4 back to kalk bay and now, when I had thought I would be here for a maximum of a week, I was still stuck here, and I DID NOT WANT THAT WOMAN! PERIOD!
So, I asked for R5 from sydney, and, well, dismissed the rain from my vicinity, and bought me my usual500g  packet of cresta rice, and went up and ate, and slept.Around midday, that was.
On the way up, God sent a song that urged the hearer, in this case me, to remember his roots, and I paid no attention, and in effect, tried to ignore Him the whole day and night, which was very long.
I woke up, and the sun was shining, and God was on me again, as I came down, being VERY hungry, and thirsty, and depressed, and I wondered aloud if I was cursed to hear the annoying Voice in my head for eternity, and He was saying, "I wont let you fall", and I interpreted that to mean, as with the 'baggy jeans' thing, that I was in trouble, but he would bring me out of it. Some Friend! Fuck!

Anyway, I came down anyway, and sydney said he had something for me to do, and while I waited I went to the toilet, engaged the cleaner guy on duty in conversation, and had my first taste of what lay ahead, because mike's mechanic guy, the one with the elf-ears, drove past in a black audi, as i stood by the metal rail leading down to the toilet, and parked the car just past the building, meaning that I had to leave if I needed to mantain my equilibrium. I went to the park, and sat a while, back to the road, on the same  spot I usually sit, and then, for lack of something better to do, I spread my all purpose overcoat on the hard stone, and lay down, berating God and cursing Him. Mwale woke me up, he wanted me to do some work for him, and I was reluctant,because he is a skinflint, but he pushed me till I agreed. So, I was sitting up, and head bowed, when THIS asshole showed up. Mike townsend himself.

From the pier the other side of the rails, in a wetsuit, with his chest bare - maybe to scare me with his torso- and i only saw him s he actually turned towards brass bell.
I was like, "I do not believe this! This is NOT happening!"
Now, i have the measure of the asshole, and he is yellow. I would dearly love to get to a one on one encounter with him, and basically teach him a thing or two about respect, but when i stood up, and thought, well, they are all bold today, maybe he is even coming my way, I was him come up from the subway, walk to the small kiosk, and a moment later, he was on a scooter, heading away from me, presumably where his house or whatever is. I figure he must stay nearby, they all must, from the 'rapid reaction' they seem to call up at will.So, I put two and two together. the idiot, like every person around the chick, actually think that they have my achilles heel, that I can not bear to part with her, that i will even humble myself when puch comes to shove rather than carry through my purposes. So, I waited for herself to show, to show me that I could not do anything without her. I do not know how many timea i went back and forth to the building from the park, to check, and, when everything was done, and i was ready to walk back up the mountain, with sydney having finished packing his stuff, there right before my eyes, was the slk 250? with license plates CA 441-459, and I knew it was checkmate.
Girl just signed her own death warrant, and this silly fool did not even know it.
I crossed the road to check, and while i would not say i SAW her, the shutters in front of her computer, the apple whatever, were open, and I smiled.
Knight takes white king. Check and mate!

Now, I will TELL you why.
because it will not help much, and because i am DAMNED if i am going to spend ANOTHER week in this blasted place.
First, I figured out my part, which I had to to justify my own decision to myself, and that was, is, that I am my mother's son, and my mother, well, she decided I was NOT good enough to live, because her other sons, who came out of the same womb, deserved life while I did not. So, she killed me. And she failed. Or she succeeded. But I lived on, as a being that even I can not understand. Saddled with so far untapped potential,  and very very unhappy that I was apparently doomed to be sombody who had to play second fiddle, to suffer for my continued existence. I grew up, and had the same mentality, that to get a woman, I had to NOT be myself, that I had to take what she did NOT want, and, in other words, did not have the RIGHT to expect the best for myself. To expect excellence. To expect 100% devotion. That I had to have all the other bullshit that would make me unhappy as well.
Something happened when I was in ventersburg, something that I rubbished a few hours ago because i was no longer in the agony of the moment. I was worried that i was going back home, and God, He showed me that by this time next week, I would have forgotten all thoughts of home, that I would have truly left my mother behind, and I, of course, took that the way I wanted, and so, was unhappy when things did not go the way I expected.
I said it before, and maybe this is NOT the last time, I always get God wrong, first time, maybe second, a lot of times, till I get Him right.
But I KNOW why I had told the chick to leave everything for me if she was interested in me, and that was not good enough for her. After all, i am just a nobody.
So, I was happy she fell into the trap she dug for herself.
because I honestly do not even want to KNOW what the fuck was behind that kiss. I just do not want to go down that road. I will leave alone, and well, that means you must all prepare to die.