Even when things do not seem to concern Him in the slightest. Take last night for example. I decided to spoil myself a bit, and bought chicken portions, 2kg, from the somali shop, because I wanted change from the drab rice-and-egg mix. But I regreted splashing out R40, and was berating myself for wastefulness, worrying about what could possibly happen today, what if I ended up with no work, where would I get food, et.c.
I did not ask Him anything; truly I am still fucking pissed off at Him big time, but He quoted a line from me from a story about Robin Hood, which I read way back when, "overcaution spilleth the milk". I figured later on that, while I may be autonomous, I am still going to have Him as the Adviser that He seems to have become from the beginning. BUT, He also said something, another blast from the past, the blog-post title, and I ... suppose, well, my time here is almost done.
This was a song, by wycleaf jean, and a remix at that, of gone till november. I heard it a long time ago, when it was still fashionable for the entire family to switch on to ZTV between1830 and 1900 on Saturdays for 'coke on the beat', instead of channel "O", and anyway , the lyrics go something like
every time I make a run
girl you turn around and cry
I aks myself why oh why
see you must understand
I cant work from nine till five
So I'll be gone till november
Baby baby please,
my love
Yo I'll be gone till november...
baby baby please, my love
I know its wrong
I know its wrong
I wrote this jive song
forgive me when I'm wrong
being kind of rich
we live in a mansion
I got it made paid
I got it made paid
last word from the hustler:-
"Yo young 'cleaf take care of your mother
give your Ma' a hug for her soul when she cries
every man wan' heaven no man wan' die"
I woke up in my sleep
all I could see was his shadow
heard Ma echo
i dont wanna be a widow
i dont wanna be a widow
Then I knew
death was at hand
the old man pulled? in a dark caravan
death was at hand
the old man pulled? in a dark caravan
with some dark-skinned brothers
looked so sicilian
seeming chama-chama-chama cahameleon
Anyway, I got that line from God when I was ... musing... about the day's happenings, and the fact that I was still no better off than when I had started the day. Because the day itself was something of an eye opener.
It had started out fine, I had gone from my sleeping quarters to my 'balcony', and looked out and while the sky everywhere else was dark, the area around kalk bay was quite sunny. I was walking down, and it was all so suddenly very, very overcast, and as I was descending the mountain, right past the place where these guava trees are, it started to rain. I thought I had seen some idiot with her dog trying to intercept me.
I walked down, and slipped, as I said, and kept on, wrote my stuff, and came back to kalk bay, ignored vinnie as usual when I found him and mwale and sydney in the same spot, just by the entance to the blue bottle, and started my working day with sydney, amid sporadic rain and looks from vinnie and tony that made me almost double over with laughter.
It had started out fine, I had gone from my sleeping quarters to my 'balcony', and looked out and while the sky everywhere else was dark, the area around kalk bay was quite sunny. I was walking down, and it was all so suddenly very, very overcast, and as I was descending the mountain, right past the place where these guava trees are, it started to rain. I thought I had seen some idiot with her dog trying to intercept me.
I walked down, and slipped, as I said, and kept on, wrote my stuff, and came back to kalk bay, ignored vinnie as usual when I found him and mwale and sydney in the same spot, just by the entance to the blue bottle, and started my working day with sydney, amid sporadic rain and looks from vinnie and tony that made me almost double over with laughter.
Then... Item Number Two on my hit list showed up.
MICHAEL-FUCKING-TOWNSEND!
Apparently, he had been the whole time been somewhere in that building, and my immediate conclusion was that, since the guy is such a coward and has got the balls of an amoeba (invisible!) the girl must be somewhere in the vicinity, trying... again... like ANYONE has any such pull with me... to give me terms and conditions if I wanted her in my life. So, I waited and watched as the yellow man walked past me to the bakery, and then past again to wherever.
OH, before that, the boy had purposefully cut IN FRONT of me, almost rudely, as I walked to the olympia end of the building to get some wires from sydney. On his way from the harbour. It was almost ludicrous.
I mean, I have given up even trying to point out, though I am at this moment, that I am going to KILL everyone, and I am NOT interested in sparing anyone, I would be quite HAPPY to end your miserable lives because I feel like it, and no one but such as i allow will live. And those I hate will die in the manner i prescribed, because I just want to show them that unlike THEM, when I flex MY muscles, things rip apart, like I am the hulk.
Anyway, the rain kept us right near la parada, and when it stopped, sydney wanted some sun, and so we crossed the road where i could stater right into the offices, and wondered whether she was hiding there, since it was quite possible that she, like mike, was biding her time till i probably started pulling my hair or stuff like that, and would then show herself. The problem, I have noticed, is that no one actually believes they have less than, if I am conservative, a week to live. and I am being conservative here. I could bring it down to a matter of ... hours, and so, I suspected that she would try to stop something more powerful than any force of nature simply because she could not get it into her small little round head that I would NOT have any ... power... if my intent was to just co-exist with you mere ... mortals.
We sat till sydney decided to close shop, and as i was about to make my way out, the coward was out again, with junior, someone who comes up to my waist, for I think, symbolic support. We stared at each other, and as I kept on my conversation with the guys around me, I looked away, and by the time I looked back he had disappeared to whatver recesses he had come from.
I mean, I am going to kill you, mike. Get used to it. You will die. NO natural death for you or for the pretender. You will be buried alive. Straight to hell.So what makes you think anything will make me... change that?
BOY oh boy, you fools!
MICHAEL-FUCKING-TOWNSEND!
Apparently, he had been the whole time been somewhere in that building, and my immediate conclusion was that, since the guy is such a coward and has got the balls of an amoeba (invisible!) the girl must be somewhere in the vicinity, trying... again... like ANYONE has any such pull with me... to give me terms and conditions if I wanted her in my life. So, I waited and watched as the yellow man walked past me to the bakery, and then past again to wherever.
OH, before that, the boy had purposefully cut IN FRONT of me, almost rudely, as I walked to the olympia end of the building to get some wires from sydney. On his way from the harbour. It was almost ludicrous.
I mean, I have given up even trying to point out, though I am at this moment, that I am going to KILL everyone, and I am NOT interested in sparing anyone, I would be quite HAPPY to end your miserable lives because I feel like it, and no one but such as i allow will live. And those I hate will die in the manner i prescribed, because I just want to show them that unlike THEM, when I flex MY muscles, things rip apart, like I am the hulk.
Anyway, the rain kept us right near la parada, and when it stopped, sydney wanted some sun, and so we crossed the road where i could stater right into the offices, and wondered whether she was hiding there, since it was quite possible that she, like mike, was biding her time till i probably started pulling my hair or stuff like that, and would then show herself. The problem, I have noticed, is that no one actually believes they have less than, if I am conservative, a week to live. and I am being conservative here. I could bring it down to a matter of ... hours, and so, I suspected that she would try to stop something more powerful than any force of nature simply because she could not get it into her small little round head that I would NOT have any ... power... if my intent was to just co-exist with you mere ... mortals.
We sat till sydney decided to close shop, and as i was about to make my way out, the coward was out again, with junior, someone who comes up to my waist, for I think, symbolic support. We stared at each other, and as I kept on my conversation with the guys around me, I looked away, and by the time I looked back he had disappeared to whatver recesses he had come from.
I mean, I am going to kill you, mike. Get used to it. You will die. NO natural death for you or for the pretender. You will be buried alive. Straight to hell.So what makes you think anything will make me... change that?
BOY oh boy, you fools!
