Not god of War, like I am apologetic about it, not god of war, like there are many, but God of War, because there is ONLY one and that is the one you all have to worry about, because I am bringing it all out, with the kitchen sink
So, I was just musing about a lot of things through the night, and I discovered that these very clever people, who read my posts, assumed that, when I spoke of at one time it being inevitable that I go home, in my second from last post, they assumed that NOW I needed to go back, and hey, presto, there are all the bus things arranged and I am supposed to be on the way back. Fools discounted the OTHER fact, that AFTER I went gloomily back home, I grabbed my mother and felt an almost overwhelming urge to kill her there and then, and it was with relief that I seized on the promise, "I have prepared a place for you, says the president of turkey", if it was a ticket for me to just leave and never have to come that close again to matricide. And God so confidently told me I would NEVER go back, Hell, even the past few days, when I DID try to organise my own way back, He was hrrrrmphing and hawing about it I knew that it would be a waste of time to try hard to go. That is why I let things slide. And started glaring at Him for not living up to part ii of His promise, and getting me OUT of this accursed place TO the place where I was supposed to be that I could at least function without distraction.
And that is where you get me with mouth agape, as I see some of the things that go on around me because some stupid woman or other thinks that some vision I spoke of- a thing which I stressed a long time ago was MEANT for me, by God and suited MY peculiar way of thinking and so would be in line with something I myself discovered about people, and so is in NO way something that some other party may say to me, you are wrong, that was really me- meant her, and so they start coming out the woodwork. yesterday there was also the swimmer woman, and then there was the bloated st-peters woman and her ballooning daughter, and they were lugging, along with the woman's son, some black/coloured boy, maybe to show the multi-racial thinking that they have, and i almost gagged. Even red-breeches, whose timing was that since if tony showed up, I usually excused myself, decided to show up as well, maybe to put me in the right when tony DID show up and i showed absolutely NO intention of going anywhere.
I wonder if nobody told these people that I am NO gentleman, and i do NOT think twice about backhanding a woman if she pisses me off, and probably even strangling her if it comes to that, and that I HATE above all, argument, especially from a person who is trying to use what is mine to argue with. If you are so convinced you are special, well, fuck, go build your own nest, do not come crap on my efforts you silly bitches!
I have not found any woman that I do not instantly want to harm-well, I did but she turned out to be sluttish and so she does not count- and so, I am NOT interested in any of you. I know that it is difficult to actually GRASP that someone may be willing to forego sex for life, but that is something i have actually gotten used to already. Even if a person masturbates, he dreams of a certain kind of woman, but with me this time, there does NOT even exist any kind of woman that I can even dream of, and i use my dick for pee-ing only and do not even think of sex. I am THAT weaned off from it.
All I want to do NOW is really start honing in on my ... prey, and hunt them down and make them pay. I am NOT even interested in anything else. I just want to kill, and whether I do it with my bare hands, to let off steam, or just speak the word and it happens, I want it done NOW, because it is either i do that or I carry on living a lie, and I am tired of it. I am way better than any of you, and so, am tired of pushing myself under as I used to when I was afraid that God would use me if I ever submitted to Him. But He said to me the other time, "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he", and I tried to explain to vinnie and his pastor when we had our talk that God is consistent, He never USES anyone that does not have an interest in doing what He wants, and since I have NO interest in helping anyone, ah, hell, go die, fools, because never will it happen that I am brought down to your level.
I serve NO ONE, and will carry NO ONE's burdens.
Right now i have an eye on a vision where some silly woman advises her daughter to disregard a certain statement and come up with her own conditions.
I am waiting for that slip, and trust me, you will get the worst jolt of your life if you ever try that one on me, but then, do not take my word for it, go right ahead and put me to the test.
What have you got to lose?
After all, I am just a black man easily overawed by white women, right?
A senseless not-quite-right-in-the-head black man who gets puffed up like a puffer fish when he sees you with any guy, like you are his property or something?
Oh, keep playing with that role.
Yeah-sss.
Prepare for the WORST time of your lives, and it will just be beginning!
And that is where you get me with mouth agape, as I see some of the things that go on around me because some stupid woman or other thinks that some vision I spoke of- a thing which I stressed a long time ago was MEANT for me, by God and suited MY peculiar way of thinking and so would be in line with something I myself discovered about people, and so is in NO way something that some other party may say to me, you are wrong, that was really me- meant her, and so they start coming out the woodwork. yesterday there was also the swimmer woman, and then there was the bloated st-peters woman and her ballooning daughter, and they were lugging, along with the woman's son, some black/coloured boy, maybe to show the multi-racial thinking that they have, and i almost gagged. Even red-breeches, whose timing was that since if tony showed up, I usually excused myself, decided to show up as well, maybe to put me in the right when tony DID show up and i showed absolutely NO intention of going anywhere.
I wonder if nobody told these people that I am NO gentleman, and i do NOT think twice about backhanding a woman if she pisses me off, and probably even strangling her if it comes to that, and that I HATE above all, argument, especially from a person who is trying to use what is mine to argue with. If you are so convinced you are special, well, fuck, go build your own nest, do not come crap on my efforts you silly bitches!
I have not found any woman that I do not instantly want to harm-well, I did but she turned out to be sluttish and so she does not count- and so, I am NOT interested in any of you. I know that it is difficult to actually GRASP that someone may be willing to forego sex for life, but that is something i have actually gotten used to already. Even if a person masturbates, he dreams of a certain kind of woman, but with me this time, there does NOT even exist any kind of woman that I can even dream of, and i use my dick for pee-ing only and do not even think of sex. I am THAT weaned off from it.
All I want to do NOW is really start honing in on my ... prey, and hunt them down and make them pay. I am NOT even interested in anything else. I just want to kill, and whether I do it with my bare hands, to let off steam, or just speak the word and it happens, I want it done NOW, because it is either i do that or I carry on living a lie, and I am tired of it. I am way better than any of you, and so, am tired of pushing myself under as I used to when I was afraid that God would use me if I ever submitted to Him. But He said to me the other time, "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he", and I tried to explain to vinnie and his pastor when we had our talk that God is consistent, He never USES anyone that does not have an interest in doing what He wants, and since I have NO interest in helping anyone, ah, hell, go die, fools, because never will it happen that I am brought down to your level.
I serve NO ONE, and will carry NO ONE's burdens.
Right now i have an eye on a vision where some silly woman advises her daughter to disregard a certain statement and come up with her own conditions.
I am waiting for that slip, and trust me, you will get the worst jolt of your life if you ever try that one on me, but then, do not take my word for it, go right ahead and put me to the test.
What have you got to lose?
After all, I am just a black man easily overawed by white women, right?
A senseless not-quite-right-in-the-head black man who gets puffed up like a puffer fish when he sees you with any guy, like you are his property or something?
Oh, keep playing with that role.
Yeah-sss.
