There is this thing that I have learnt the painful way about God, and it is probably the reason why I seem to be sending mixed messages to people. Ever heard of keel-hauling? It is when a person is dragged from one end of a ship, full on the underside of those shell-like things called barnacles, to the other, underwater.God, as i have learned painfully, has the unique ability to let one go THROUGH such a torture and then afterwards bring him back to life, when he should be dead.
I have seen the laid back way, the almost lackadaisical way that He fulfills His word:- "no weapon forged against you will prosper". And so, while I realise that ultimately one triumphs over adversity, I have NO desire to be used for target practice, go out on a limb for Him when He can fucking well do as He promised without assistance from anyone!
I am not pointing fingers, I am NOT scowling at people, I am not even paying attention much to their schemes and their stratagems to get me to change tack. I am simply ... waiting. No way am I going to expose myself, yet, to people like I used to when I let my temper get the better of me. NO, now I observe, I watch, and I nurse my anger. It is ridiculous to the extreme to assume that I am going back home, but that does not mean I am going to start acting all arrogant and start getting up people's noses. No, I am now watching to see God live up to His word, and, when the conditions are right, I will act.
This morning I was surprised, but then again I should have expected something like that, really, me being so predictable in my ways, to see a memeber of vinnie's church walk in while I sat and waited for the library to open, on his way to return videos. He greeted me, and I answered, and he said that he heard I was going home sunday, I said that was correct, and he said he was praying for me. I wanted to say something that I really felt, but I just said, "that's life", and as he came out, fellow took pity on me and gave me some money for something to eat.
Reminds me of this scene in The Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz where the 'wizard' tells the monkey, "I will give you lots of bananas", and the monkey goes, "Oh, typical, just because I am a monkey you assume I LIKE bananas", to which the guy responds, "you dont like bananas?", and the monkey goes, "of course I do but there is no need to stereotype me like that!"
I mean, in my case, it is an obvious thing that I am on starvation rations, and of course, people would assume that I need help, but well, I am NOT just a guy who is staying on a mountain and who has a bad rep and is at a dead end as far as life or advancement is concerned.
I am the guy that God 'added 15 years of life' to, the guy who should be exhibiting symptoms of deadly diseases and yet does not, the guy who lives not only by what he sees and hears but more solidly by what God says, this same God that none of you worship because you prefer to have a conduit like jesus christ. I am the guy who has walked a path that no one else has even walked, and been granted some pretty amazing powers as a consequence of the fact that I would not, for example, acknowledge your jesus as my lord, nor the holy spirit as having anything to do with mankind.
I am the guy who has decided, unilaterally, that for MY survival, everyone else must die.
And I am the guy that has been promised a week in which things will change.
And it is my motto that handsome is as handsome does. The only way this whole controversy is going to be dealt with, is when you see the skies darken, and me at the center of a storm, and well, the lightning on one end and the thunder on the other, the earth tremors and of course, the earth opening. When I come looking for my enemies.
I have been as i said, observing people, and i would really love to have a one on one with, for exdample, the pretender. he is probably the sole reason why I rejected the apple chick, because I went around with my head in visions, not grounded in reality, and everybody wanted it like that, because I remember when I would start acting contrary, there would come the guy with his trumpet, to remind me , for example, of the pink panther vision. Or I would get some 'seal' played when I decide to have my hair cut, just so I know where I am SUPPOSED to stay grounded.
Really?
Well, as I said, God will watch over His promises to bring them to pass, but let me tell you that, regardless of the fact that the pretender may be her brother, and that she is a virgin, what she did, honestly, made that woman despicable in my sight. I would rather go to bed with a snake than even look twice at her.
So, I need to have a few words with that ... brother... of hers. After which I will give him interesting choices on how to die. While she watches. And then, as i promised once, I will spit her out of my life and carry on, solo.
If she was a potential... wife... well, guess what, I have this ... right... that none of you seem to have grasped. I have the final say over who or what, and so, I rejected her. All I am looking for now is vengeance. Pure and simple.
And trust me, it is going to be painful! For you.
Maybe it is good that I am laid back. Gives God the room to do the background work, and then I just walk in and put the finishing touches. I am sure that everyone of you has his or her own opinion about stuff, and how unfair all these things seem, and maybe you all hold on to the hope that this will never happen, but I have walked with God too long to disregard when He emphatically, continuously, says that something will NEVER happen, and well, I am going to let Him have the floor, so to speak.
And then I am going to kill you all.
This sounds weird, right, but then, it would, wouldn't it. If, after all it was NOT meant for you in the first place?
So, die, fools. I am waiting to pounce, and THIS leopard does not change its spots
