It is amazing that after all the posts I have written, some people do not even have a glimmer of insight into the fact that if I say that i want a ceratin thing a certain way, I have no interest in ANY other way, and, far as i am concerned, the thing has to happen the way I want it or fuck it, the same God Who said that I not only choose the kind of world I like, but also said "be yourself", had better kill me because He is letting my arse swing in the wind.
But then, there is NO fool like one who assumes, in this case, that he or she knows better than ME! Which is why I will be very glad to end your miserable lives, in less than 3 days!
I came yesterday from the library, and was really, REALLY surprised to see that there ARE certain mad white women that-despite the fact I have written copiously about how I can not stand them and find them repulsive- actually THINK that not only is a 'white worm' a GOOD thing, but they are IT as far as I am concerned, and they have a God-given task to change my thinking. It was so disgusting, people like madeline, the other, earnest faced bimbo, and red-britches, showing up like termites out of a burning log, that I decided to spend the day inconspicuously at vinnie's, helping out, before going up the mountain, since i had a lot of things I had accummulated over the years I really wanted to say to God about how He was treating me.
Hell, I went chapter and verse, galled and irritated because when I had walked into vinnie's house searching for a pair of pliers, I had come across a cross with the jeremiah 29 vs 11:- "for I know the plans I have for you, saus the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and an expected end", and i had kept it in, and was now throwing it back at Him, because my expected ensd was simply NOT materialising.
So, I yelled at Him, asking Him why He just muscled into my life, made it impossible for me to die, had me co0mmit to things and then was a no show. Was I a log to Him that had no feelings, or was it because I could not break any of my bones that He overlooked the fact that there was a living, breathing human being that was trapped by His promises so much so that i could not even FUNCTION unless He was involved? So, I yelled at Him, and called Him as many names as I could think of, and then told myself that all this was an exercise in futility, and cooked my food, ate some and was about to go to sleep when I figured out what He had whispered in the midst of my tirade; "mazano marairanwa", meaning, "people advise each other" in the broad sense, but in THIS case, He meant, basically, like the OTHER time, "Tell Me what you want from Me!"
I remembered the "Speak friend, and enter" vision with Him shutting a door behind me after I had walked through it, from the Lord of the Rings scene when Gandalf tries to translate the runes on the door to that whatever place, and I calmed down. So, all He had been waiting for was for me to TELL Him that now I needed Him to act and bring part ii from the theoretical stage to the practical, whether by giving Me the power to kill people on my own, or making my word powerful enough that I could send anyone and anything to hell instantly and thus move on and get my hamds on a plane, and get the fuck off to america!
Electrical jolt. Tried to get this silly woman to get off my case, and she ends up having me arrested, and did not have the guts to press charges against me herself. I went to prison, for a crime i did not commitk, because i NEVER made a cutthroat gesture against the imp, and when i came out, the silly bitch STILL wanted to use my own words to sho me up, showing up with a dog, when i refused to evn divulge what the vision was, and today, I even get the pretender in my face as i exited the parking space by tony's restaurant, for what reason I dont know- maybe she assumed that, because i was down, she can press her case upon me, or something, not knowing that with me there is ZERO tolerance, i get EXACTLY what I want, or fuck it, pull the plug and let me die- and said to myself that this stupid bitch does not even get it that when the Living God, the AlMighty God Himself, gives Me the nickname of THE Maverick, meaning an independent minded person, it means i do NOT listen to what either He or anyone else says and just go along with it. I make MY decisions and stick with them, and die by them
Besides, samuel e. maverick, the guy who made the name popular, refused to brand his cattle, which means, if you think about it, his cattle were supposed from his view-point, to know their owner, and act accordingly> Yet some silly woman wqants me to act all jealous, become possessive and all that, stake a claim or something upon her like I am a sort of jailer, when even a fool knows that everyone knows what he or she wants nd no one should waste someone else's time by trying to make somebody else do what makes her comfortable.
What is mine pleases me, and so far, the only person that,( despite her incredible folly and the fact that she pissed me off more than anyone else i iknow and I am probaboy going to strangle her very soon), actually made me look twice at a woman has shown me strong evidence that she is not and was never mine, so, well, people, I know you all think that there is some other way out of this, but trust me,l am about to kill you all, and start my other life, alone. Go to hell, damn you!
Fuck, I wonder how i am going to get through today! Bound to be rather... bad
But then, there is NO fool like one who assumes, in this case, that he or she knows better than ME! Which is why I will be very glad to end your miserable lives, in less than 3 days!
I came yesterday from the library, and was really, REALLY surprised to see that there ARE certain mad white women that-despite the fact I have written copiously about how I can not stand them and find them repulsive- actually THINK that not only is a 'white worm' a GOOD thing, but they are IT as far as I am concerned, and they have a God-given task to change my thinking. It was so disgusting, people like madeline, the other, earnest faced bimbo, and red-britches, showing up like termites out of a burning log, that I decided to spend the day inconspicuously at vinnie's, helping out, before going up the mountain, since i had a lot of things I had accummulated over the years I really wanted to say to God about how He was treating me.
Hell, I went chapter and verse, galled and irritated because when I had walked into vinnie's house searching for a pair of pliers, I had come across a cross with the jeremiah 29 vs 11:- "for I know the plans I have for you, saus the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and an expected end", and i had kept it in, and was now throwing it back at Him, because my expected ensd was simply NOT materialising.
So, I yelled at Him, asking Him why He just muscled into my life, made it impossible for me to die, had me co0mmit to things and then was a no show. Was I a log to Him that had no feelings, or was it because I could not break any of my bones that He overlooked the fact that there was a living, breathing human being that was trapped by His promises so much so that i could not even FUNCTION unless He was involved? So, I yelled at Him, and called Him as many names as I could think of, and then told myself that all this was an exercise in futility, and cooked my food, ate some and was about to go to sleep when I figured out what He had whispered in the midst of my tirade; "mazano marairanwa", meaning, "people advise each other" in the broad sense, but in THIS case, He meant, basically, like the OTHER time, "Tell Me what you want from Me!"
I remembered the "Speak friend, and enter" vision with Him shutting a door behind me after I had walked through it, from the Lord of the Rings scene when Gandalf tries to translate the runes on the door to that whatever place, and I calmed down. So, all He had been waiting for was for me to TELL Him that now I needed Him to act and bring part ii from the theoretical stage to the practical, whether by giving Me the power to kill people on my own, or making my word powerful enough that I could send anyone and anything to hell instantly and thus move on and get my hamds on a plane, and get the fuck off to america!
So, well, I rested a BIT easier after that, and was actually going backwards, 
thinking through the OTHER vision that I had had, the one where an invasive white worm had given me an electrical jolt-and I had felt it even in my sleep, the pain- when I had tried to yank it off from my temple, but then I had tried it around my hand and then yanked it off anyway, and after that a sort of well had been revealed that had the edges tender like the skin that had just recovered from having scabs, and then i had turned to the left temple, and then had gone, "I am giving you 15 seconds to get out of here", and counted to nine, and then paused for three beats-fuck, I wrote this down, for crying out loud!- and then said ten and immediately, a whole horde of people had also started moving off from my head, but not from my ear, and there had been two coffins borne aloft, and then what had been left was me, in a chair, covered from the toes to my neck in ice, with chains around my wrist keeping me pinned to the ground, with me fexxing my hands to see if I could yank the chains from the ground. Electrical jolt. Tried to get this silly woman to get off my case, and she ends up having me arrested, and did not have the guts to press charges against me herself. I went to prison, for a crime i did not commitk, because i NEVER made a cutthroat gesture against the imp, and when i came out, the silly bitch STILL wanted to use my own words to sho me up, showing up with a dog, when i refused to evn divulge what the vision was, and today, I even get the pretender in my face as i exited the parking space by tony's restaurant, for what reason I dont know- maybe she assumed that, because i was down, she can press her case upon me, or something, not knowing that with me there is ZERO tolerance, i get EXACTLY what I want, or fuck it, pull the plug and let me die- and said to myself that this stupid bitch does not even get it that when the Living God, the AlMighty God Himself, gives Me the nickname of THE Maverick, meaning an independent minded person, it means i do NOT listen to what either He or anyone else says and just go along with it. I make MY decisions and stick with them, and die by them
Besides, samuel e. maverick, the guy who made the name popular, refused to brand his cattle, which means, if you think about it, his cattle were supposed from his view-point, to know their owner, and act accordingly> Yet some silly woman wqants me to act all jealous, become possessive and all that, stake a claim or something upon her like I am a sort of jailer, when even a fool knows that everyone knows what he or she wants nd no one should waste someone else's time by trying to make somebody else do what makes her comfortable.
What is mine pleases me, and so far, the only person that,( despite her incredible folly and the fact that she pissed me off more than anyone else i iknow and I am probaboy going to strangle her very soon), actually made me look twice at a woman has shown me strong evidence that she is not and was never mine, so, well, people, I know you all think that there is some other way out of this, but trust me,l am about to kill you all, and start my other life, alone. Go to hell, damn you!
Fuck, I wonder how i am going to get through today! Bound to be rather... bad
