[He] Also Serves, Who But Sits ...

If anyone has ever been in a fight, there is nothing as satisfying as the bone-crunching sound of a well connected fist, the sight of the opponents head snapping back or the change that comes into a person's eyes as the fight goes out of him when a solid blow lands.

Yet, I, a virulently antisocial homicidal sociopath, have had to ... learn... to turn away from the physical bloodlust, and accept what is ... my... yoke, because, of course, I have been unable to, of late, get physical, or sustain it.
There is a saying that hard times do not change people or things, they just reveal what is already there, and I have been through my own private version of hell, and I have come to accept that I am NOT designed to be a physical person. I feel at times like I am in two disparate parts, and when or if I stand for a long time, or even have anything on my back while standing, my waist feels like someone has cut it in two. My back easily aches, like I am already carrying a heavy load when I am just me, unloaded, and so, I can not for any length of time do any manual labour, and even now, as I sit here, the tell-tale burning just under my shoulder blades tells me that I... wait... for rest.
God did not bring me back... to life... even as a kid. No, He somehow circumvented all the accepted norms about... life, and gave me a life-support system that makes me JUST able to be scientifically... alive, while technically numb and unresponsive to life.
What I discovered, even in the days when I adapted my fighting styles to my weaknesses, and decided to concentrate on a means of fighting that was up-close-and-personal, while using my wrists and elbows to engage the enemy or to fend of blows and then applying pressure when I had the opponent off-balance, was that I did not have the stamina for endurance. If I was doing something that FELT to me to be wrong, I would become weak, or drained all of a sudden, and when this happened in the midst of a fight, it could have embarrassing consequences, because the fragile hold I had on self-preservation would just snap, and I would find myself, horrifying, stopping to care about what happened to me and just handing a victory to the opponent, potentially, without the person earning it. Oh, I could be said to be a strong man, but let me have to do anything that involves having my backbone curved, like bending down to lift things, and I all of a sudden lose my strength, and become even weaker than a new born babe. Yet I can and have, lifted heavy people and thrown them aside like featherweights, when either adrenalin bypassed my inherent weaknesses, or when I did not have to bend over. I feel like darth vader, at times, in his suit, struggling to just breathe.
I have wondered at God, why He let me live... like this, when it is in His power to make me a whole person, a person that is fully operational, but I guess that, before I look to Him, I should recognise the operational rule that He works by, that He does not make something out of nothing. If I ... wanted to live... then He would have surely done something to ensure that such a thing as complete body restoration happened, but then, I was born, bred and now grown, in an atmosphere that did not encourage the longing for life, and so, I suppose He let me be this... very weird creature that I am, and left it at that, after giving me ... Rumble... to make sure that I at least survived. There have been times when I should have, because of my weakness, been dead, very oppressed or put in a corner, and He has steered me past these, and I am not blind to assume that these things just happened.
The reason i am saying this is that I have now come to that point where I recognise that in bringing me back to life, God put Himself under an obligation, to grant me whatever I felt I needed to make my... living... as stress-free as possible. That is why, eons ago, He said that my... yoke... was as academic to the fish. Academics do not DO anything, they are basically theoretical people, and the fish part, well, you know that it is written, "for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the glory of the lord, as the waters cover the sea", and fish, well, live in the sea, or the waters, and so, if the earth will be full of the truth about the Worth of God, it will be like how the water in the sea, in which the fish live, is their habitation, their atmosphere, and their source of life. Basically, I suspect, it is another way of saying that God is the source of everything, just as the water is the means of life for the fish of the sea. In Him we live and move and have our being.
Because I am alive because of Him, all I have to do is NOT take matters into my own hands, but look to Him always and He will grant me whatever is necessary to make sure that my life can be sustained, regardless of how... painful, that may be for other people. Take, for example, my link with the weather. Let me say this, just in passing, the weather is about to start getting really very ... nasty... right about now. Because I have to move on with my... life.
I promised that people would die, and so it shall be. I promised that there will be NO deviation from my set course, that I am on my way to the US from here, and again, so it shall be, because of the mere fact that whatever I want, or feel should be changed to suit MY lifestyle, God will provide, because, unlike everyone of you, I do not have to pretend. MY own body is my sodium pentothal, it does not enable me to ... lie.
If I can not abide something, then I am NOT going to accept it.
As I said, there will be NO negotiation.
I have a feeling, based on how everytime I mentioned the US I used to get all these people trying to prove me wrong, to get me to behave, or to be the 'white worms' that my posts are not going as unregarded as the continued... stasis... may seem to suggest, and I will therefore just issue a warning. The guy who used to smile and joke with you fools is dead and gone. I am just a very, very, angry person that is fed up with the status quo, and regarding me as wrong, or flexible, or even misguided, and THEN trying to show me up when you are just mere flesh and blood and not something or someone that I look twice at, well, lets just say that this time, whoever steps in my way will have a very interesting encounter with the God of War, Who but ... sits... and waits.
I am done being trifled with. Question me, argue with me, at your peril. You have been warned.

As for the people that I have a particular grudge against, let me put it this way, while everyone is going to burn in hell, anyway, except for those that I said- and that is not something to be negotiated over, either- there HAS to be a specially hot place for you fools, and I would enjoy having the assurance that such will be the case.
I decide who lives or dies, and I have decided. Prepare to die.

Hail and powder

lightining and thunder

when the youth

them fed up and frus

bablylon fall like lumber

get cast asunder

when lighning set up and flash

when the cup them full and run over

the cup them full and run over

a judgement

for you mr man inna your benz...