Ok, first, I need a song, something appropriate for the occasion, something mellow, something that expresses the thing as it is, like...mmm
Caught up in my thinking
like a prisoner in my mind
you pose so many questions,
that the truth was hard to find
much time has passed between us
do you still think of me at all?
my world of broken promises
will you still catch me when I fall?
Ok, I will leave it there. I mean, I am a person who has NO hope at all, about stuff, and I woke up ready to crush this ONE hope, this thing that has flared like a candle in the wind, and refused to be snuffed out. And it all started well, in that direction. As soon as I came down, there is this guy who likes formal shirts, who MUST be some crony of mike's who was ... phonicating... and looking out for me, apparently, because as soon as I showed up, he disappears into the caverns of that blasted building.
So, I went to check, I mean, the woman should be pissing mad, as usual, about her sister, but she did not show, she was not there. Instead, butthead ii, was there, and I went, 'fuck' I need the closure like crazy. I mean, just how dificult is it to put a low down lifeform like me in his place. I have no fixed abode, am easily held accountable fr any number of violations, and I stay with obert, for crying out loud. So, how hard can it be to get me shown up?
anyway, she did not show, and I am like, what else do I need to do to get her mad;- and I was thinking about it, when out came red-breeches, with a kid. Now, i may be certifiably above 'genius' in my IQ, but it did not - if i MUST use a cliche- take a genius to figure out what her angle in all this was, and well, I assume anyone can know what MY conclusion to this, to someone actually telling ME that I have no clue what I am talking about, and must be corrected;- she DIES, horribly, YEAH-SS!
Anyway, I was up and down, and then out comes butthead as I walk from the laundry, right behind me - I have a problem with turning my head to look behind me, I almost never do that, what is the use?- and then he walks beside me, and past me, into the blue bottle bottle store, and I am like, WTF?
Especially as I get into a violent argument about ... stuff... with this guy that i wanted to throttle at once, because... well, more later, and this blasted gallery woman shows up, like she is again interceding or some such stuff.
i have given up expecting shit-heads to pay attention to me, so I will not even complain about it. I hate being ... disobeyed... which is exactly what this is about. I mean, if I am THE God, I may as well acknowledge the one immutable fact that I will brook NO disobedience, that I hate being challenged when it comes to MY authority, and fuck it, I am not like you and everyone else, I am THE α and the ω. So, it comes down to being obeyed, or having the whole fucking lot of you ... disposed of, permanently, YEAH-SS.
Now, I met this old timer coming out from his home as I was going up to the laundry, and he said that i walked like i was weighed down by something, and I joked it off- I am not interested in bleeding my heart out anymore. I do not like fans and i do not intend to be 'popular' and when i came back, he was with vinnie, who brought up an issue that he raisd with me first thing in the morning when we met, how he had 'proof' that jesus was for real, a prophecy in isaiah that said , when translated from the original hebrew ' a maid shall be with child' [not necessarily a virgin], and I said to him, instantly, that he was on the wrong track, that he was straying, because christ's existence was NOT the issue, rather, THIS was, that christ said that he would be three days and three nights and then rise from the dead, and if he was legit, why did he not stay those three days and three nights , dead? So, we had left it off there, and when the learned old man showed up, vinnie brought it up again, and i stood firm. guy was speaking about how I had developed tunnel vision, was refusing to listen to oither opinions, and I said fuck that, stick to the issue at hand. Christ said he would be three days and three nights in the belly of the earth, was HE three days nd three nights in the belly of the earth or not? And I said I knew other things that i found pointless to say to these people at their own time of choosing because if this simple issue was NOT getting through to them, why should I waste my time trying to say more when they refused to just do the simple thing and check the facts for themselves, instead of looking me up and down and asking who the fuck I am to be saying these things. I am NOT in a contest with anyone here, and I do NOT owe anyone an explanation, so, fuck it, I will let out what I know, on MY terms, and MY conditions, not try to please anyone, fuck it, and I refused to discuss that anymore. When I was in the middle of this argument, that was when the gallery woman showed up, and I just walked away,and stayed away, with my back to the cameras, realising that, if simple words can NOT be taken as they are, then I am, obviously, going to have to kill the one woman I love. And I was twisting my hair. Which was when this zim woman was sent, again for reasons i do not know, and she greeted me, and i ignored her, and then, as I realised that this was another day wasted, I decided to call lee, and am here in site five, worrying about what tomorrow will be like, because I am almost certain that i am going to have to act now, and put an end to this ... charade.
because I can not keep this up anymore.
And I am forced to re-evaluate the situation because, well, I am not so sure that this thing will give me anything anyway, except... the ghost.
guess this is time for me to begin weeping... for what never was, and never will be
anyway, she did not show, and I am like, what else do I need to do to get her mad;- and I was thinking about it, when out came red-breeches, with a kid. Now, i may be certifiably above 'genius' in my IQ, but it did not - if i MUST use a cliche- take a genius to figure out what her angle in all this was, and well, I assume anyone can know what MY conclusion to this, to someone actually telling ME that I have no clue what I am talking about, and must be corrected;- she DIES, horribly, YEAH-SS!
Anyway, I was up and down, and then out comes butthead as I walk from the laundry, right behind me - I have a problem with turning my head to look behind me, I almost never do that, what is the use?- and then he walks beside me, and past me, into the blue bottle bottle store, and I am like, WTF?
Especially as I get into a violent argument about ... stuff... with this guy that i wanted to throttle at once, because... well, more later, and this blasted gallery woman shows up, like she is again interceding or some such stuff.
i have given up expecting shit-heads to pay attention to me, so I will not even complain about it. I hate being ... disobeyed... which is exactly what this is about. I mean, if I am THE God, I may as well acknowledge the one immutable fact that I will brook NO disobedience, that I hate being challenged when it comes to MY authority, and fuck it, I am not like you and everyone else, I am THE α and the ω. So, it comes down to being obeyed, or having the whole fucking lot of you ... disposed of, permanently, YEAH-SS.
because I can not keep this up anymore.
And I am forced to re-evaluate the situation because, well, I am not so sure that this thing will give me anything anyway, except... the ghost.
guess this is time for me to begin weeping... for what never was, and never will be
