been caught in compromising situations
I shouldhave learned
from all the times I didn't walk away
when I knew it was best to go
Should have done this a long time ago,but now, I must recover some of my pride,and take... a hint... and not try to... force things.
I have turned my back on kalk bay.
I have turned my back on kalk bay.
next time you all see me is when you are going up in flames.
I now know what them hints were all about, like "let it be", and even that one, when I did not go and follow the...still ... love of my life, the andre 2000 statement;- 'what kind of girl do you think I are/...'
Maybe my ... fear... of finally coming to grips with the fact that i am not compatible with... anyone... and that i would have to spend eternity alone was outweighing my common sense.
Fuck, I have ... tried... to make things be what I want them to be, but I have never actually succeeded. God's policy, which I find has a lot of sense where I am concerned, was to let them come to me, not me try to come to them, because the person's own choice was a 'seal' that someone had decided to stand for herself and state her choice, but telling that to the one person I knew, or thought I knew, to be plain to me in her feelings, has been so monumental a task that I have decided NOT to bother about it anyway, anymore.
Of course, there are no harleys in site-five, and I would have to take a train to go to the city centre to get my hands on one, or on a mustang or somesuch, to see my mother and sisters and such so that i can let them know what are gwaan up, and I plantoleave a trail of destruction in mywake,and maybe by 'taking a train' i may just TAKE one, literally, and test my bones in a 'crash situation' with rails and other trains or such.
but, fuck it, it hurts, a lot, this thing in my heart. I have not been able to eat much in days, and even swallowing stuff is a huge burden. I am dying inside, but then, who the fuck cares, right?
story of my life. I did not even want to be here, and now, I end up being the last one, and the joke is on me.
I now know what them hints were all about, like "let it be", and even that one, when I did not go and follow the...still ... love of my life, the andre 2000 statement;- 'what kind of girl do you think I are/...'
Maybe my ... fear... of finally coming to grips with the fact that i am not compatible with... anyone... and that i would have to spend eternity alone was outweighing my common sense.
Fuck, I have ... tried... to make things be what I want them to be, but I have never actually succeeded. God's policy, which I find has a lot of sense where I am concerned, was to let them come to me, not me try to come to them, because the person's own choice was a 'seal' that someone had decided to stand for herself and state her choice, but telling that to the one person I knew, or thought I knew, to be plain to me in her feelings, has been so monumental a task that I have decided NOT to bother about it anyway, anymore.
Of course, there are no harleys in site-five, and I would have to take a train to go to the city centre to get my hands on one, or on a mustang or somesuch, to see my mother and sisters and such so that i can let them know what are gwaan up, and I plantoleave a trail of destruction in mywake,and maybe by 'taking a train' i may just TAKE one, literally, and test my bones in a 'crash situation' with rails and other trains or such.
but, fuck it, it hurts, a lot, this thing in my heart. I have not been able to eat much in days, and even swallowing stuff is a huge burden. I am dying inside, but then, who the fuck cares, right?
story of my life. I did not even want to be here, and now, I end up being the last one, and the joke is on me.
stains of allmy childhood sorrows
on the wallsofmy mind
are there any bright tomorrows
pain is all i seemto find
how did I ever get to be here
oh the turth cuts like a knife
papa usedto tellme about kharma
thats the story of mylife
