Now, i have discovered for myself a ... love... for explaining things, I am what you would call a 'natural' teacher, and on the other hand, I have discovered what i can call the ULTIMATE thrill ride, trying to find God's fault, sort of my ... default setting.
And I can confidently say that, like floyd mayweather did say when he became world boxing champion, God does not make mistakes. Wonder if the clip of that speech IS on YouTube?
Well, fuck THAT anyway.
So, today, anyway, I was left thinking, admit it You screwed up, Ok, this is NEVER going to happen, and yet, I felt like I was fooling myself, see?
OK, so, the joke is on ... me. I mean, look at THAT guy that is trying to catch the pink panther, bashing stuff, gets a swollen hand, and shoots himself, and all that. ha ha, very funny, OK. And anyway, about a couple of weeks ago, first time I got to site 5 anyway, before I even ended up not even wanting to come back to kalk bay, I had a sort of funny vision- and a dead giveaway, just in case you think I am making this up, is that I was writing about doubting thomas then;- you will get it later.
So, I was like, in those days I was wondering about going home, and I had a vision of my mother, and she was looking rather smug, and looking at a ... bed. OK, she was in the sitting room, and from where she was sitting, she could see into the spare bedroom I used as my bedroom, and my sister, the one that i can never seem to tear myself from, was lying on it, a spare bed that is, and there were some chicky two or so people on either side who were also apparently mocking me.
I said something like I could, if these people did NOT stop their stupidity, change my mind and let them suffer, or something like that, and then I went back to the sitting room, my mother was still looking smug, and I turned on the TV, and this sound-theme came up, but instead of the pink panther, a white... woman ... appeared, and she had a peculiar walk, like she had torn one of her leg muscles. Ok, she moved in the... uncomfortable manner that I have seen the woman that I ... love..OK, then, I admit it, I LOVE her, fuck it... move, when she wore flat shoes, instead of high heels,on two legs, and she had her back against a wall, like everything was highlighted, and she then turned her back to the screen, this woman, and she had an imprint of a palm with splayed fingers on her back, and she found a hole in the wall, which was like swiss cheese, the wall, and she walked in, followed by a grey mouse, about her size.
then after that, a cat came after, and like in Tom and Jerry, it rushed into the hole, and cartoon like, poked its head out of another, and another till it looked like it was made of rubber, or some elastic plastic -that is an oxymoron actually, because the two are, in science in effect, opposites- and then after pulling out a drawer, it got a key, and then, in a hole that...(OK, I get it!, but let me bring the story to its conclusion) had a keyhole in it, it suddenly stuck out that seemingly infinitely extensible head, and, with its mouth, put the key in the hole and a drawer came out, and pushed him out, and he dug into it,flipped the papers and stuff, till he came to the very end and then said, "Ok, then so there are FOUR who come first and then she is last?"
And that was it.
Ok, you are the geniuses, you can figure it out, since you all know so much, but while i listen to the guy who sell(s) marijuana pon di corner/saw no informer pon di corner/ me stash have for hide/when police arrive/me have fir show up in court like rihhanna.... i will mention what happened today, after composing myself, ha ha!
Anyway, I went to... kalk bay, and when I got there, the first person to ... try his luck was the cunt of a rasta, and he looked like a cat that had swallowed the owners pet mouse, his cheeks were so puffed up at the... injustice of it all... like was I serious that i was going to KILL him because of that girl? Like he and she were even involved? I mean, that was so ... unfair?
I laughed aloud.
i could not help it.
It was like, freaky!
of course, I am going to kill you anyway, asshole, that I will NOT change. I can not let you live. It goes against all that I am.And I am the boss!
then came various people, like the gallery woman, another woman who found our conversation on the zim political situation quite interesting, tilkl she got a message, which aI read, "we are waiting for you", and she had to go and meet these other people, and then she came back, mission accomplished, and spoke about a guy with ... thinning hair-a butt-head- called dave who works upstairs. I feel insulted that a decision of mine is questioned so, so they BOTH die. I mean, what the fuck?
then there was mike, and he went to that cottage, vinnie went also to get something, told me SHE was there, and that is when I flipped, and went there to see her, and she was NOT there or had left, and then I came back, and went to see if she was upstairs, and she was, and I gave her the finger, but my heart was not in it, and then i ... concentrated on making money, sold things, and came home.
of course, the... individuals... that pissed me off, male or female, that STILL do not get it that I SAID I am going to kill them and I MEANT I am going to kill, well, they are dead. I have a fixed rule there, and it goes like so. "IF you have pissed me off, and I say you are dead, then you are dead."
Should be simple, yeah?
YEAH-SSS
Now, about that dream.
simple, Ok, I had an ... appeal.Fact is, I will start with the january 9 vision where I said after being told 'Tell Me what you want from me", "ten million dollars to build that thing". There was a first part that I deliberately excluded all this time, till I did the math. It was me and this woman michelle, and it was like, the intro, after six years I wanted to go home, but if I came back, I would divorce her, like we had been married, and she was like "why did you go there to begin with?", as if it was all my ... mother's fault. But I had started acting like I did not care, and so I just brushed it off, and walked away, solo.
That was when God did the "tell Me...." stuff.
ok, then there is this OTHER thing.
i can not ... force a person to do as I please, not if, like in this case, she ... matters... to me. I can ride roughshod over anyone because I frankly do NOT care what happens to all of you, and that STANDS, but when it came to her, she has taken a peace of my heart like you would not believe, and I try to act macho- I was priding myself on not twisting my hair at all the whole day- but I get so... worried.
And I said, on more than one occasion, she IS an easy book to read, and SHE did tell me what it would take for me to get her, did I not say? She did, and we all know what that is, right?
And I hate being TOLD what to do, and yet, I love the way I was... told.
so, fuck it, this doubting, hopeless person will have to take on the holy spirit the long slugging way, and not take any shortcuts.
I will just have to outwit him, and get him to give up his ground without having to destroy the jews in the process. Not as a people. but if they did individually piss me off, or she chose the wrong approach to get her point across, then, well, there is NO reverse mode. I will PERSONALLY maul and kill mike. Oh, hell, I will.
I apologise
for the changes I put you through
my intent did not
include hurting you
but insecurity
had a way of taking over me
and telling me that
any excuse would do
so i need you
your heartbeat right next to mine
coz i know that
we'll get through this
it'll just take us some time
baby dont say
a single word
put your arms around me
this is the time that i love you the most
BUT
I gotta win this war inside of me
i knew that
there'll be days like this
when I would wanna let go
feeling like i'm in, over my head...
but I wont let days like this change my feelings for you
Well, I hope that the last statement holds, because if anyone is having to fight to just stop from totally shutting out any hope, it is me
Oh, by the way, just in case I forgot, I am STILL emptying all of america, but will try to do it by ... upsetting people and potecting the things I want in it
Ok, so I will try NOT to kill people, although of course, I am still taking what I want,a nd sending all those that stand in my way out of it.
maybe permanetly, too.
I hate that book guy with his son in the uk. Like, REALLY!
Use me will you?
i need a ride, and I am not ASKING for one, too!
now, to pay part of the remainder of my rent. I owed R120 at the beginning of the day, now I will owe just... mmm a lot less!
kalk bay seems to be growing on me. I will be back, tomorrow know what they say about a theory and all that!
And I can confidently say that, like floyd mayweather did say when he became world boxing champion, God does not make mistakes. Wonder if the clip of that speech IS on YouTube?
Well, fuck THAT anyway.
So, today, anyway, I was left thinking, admit it You screwed up, Ok, this is NEVER going to happen, and yet, I felt like I was fooling myself, see?
because it was as I was thinking of coming home that these guys came and sat down beside me, the street perfomers, and one of them picked a tune on his trumpet that had me going, Oh... well, well. I will try to find it on YouTube while I play this one[above], it has nothing whatsoever to do with what I am writing, but, hell, I just kinda like it, anyway, and I was singing it whole day yesterday and today because it is just catchy, OK? Fuck you anyway!
OK, so, the joke is on ... me. I mean, look at THAT guy that is trying to catch the pink panther, bashing stuff, gets a swollen hand, and shoots himself, and all that. ha ha, very funny, OK. And anyway, about a couple of weeks ago, first time I got to site 5 anyway, before I even ended up not even wanting to come back to kalk bay, I had a sort of funny vision- and a dead giveaway, just in case you think I am making this up, is that I was writing about doubting thomas then;- you will get it later.
So, I was like, in those days I was wondering about going home, and I had a vision of my mother, and she was looking rather smug, and looking at a ... bed. OK, she was in the sitting room, and from where she was sitting, she could see into the spare bedroom I used as my bedroom, and my sister, the one that i can never seem to tear myself from, was lying on it, a spare bed that is, and there were some chicky two or so people on either side who were also apparently mocking me.
I said something like I could, if these people did NOT stop their stupidity, change my mind and let them suffer, or something like that, and then I went back to the sitting room, my mother was still looking smug, and I turned on the TV, and this sound-theme came up, but instead of the pink panther, a white... woman ... appeared, and she had a peculiar walk, like she had torn one of her leg muscles. Ok, she moved in the... uncomfortable manner that I have seen the woman that I ... love..OK, then, I admit it, I LOVE her, fuck it... move, when she wore flat shoes, instead of high heels,on two legs, and she had her back against a wall, like everything was highlighted, and she then turned her back to the screen, this woman, and she had an imprint of a palm with splayed fingers on her back, and she found a hole in the wall, which was like swiss cheese, the wall, and she walked in, followed by a grey mouse, about her size.
then after that, a cat came after, and like in Tom and Jerry, it rushed into the hole, and cartoon like, poked its head out of another, and another till it looked like it was made of rubber, or some elastic plastic -that is an oxymoron actually, because the two are, in science in effect, opposites- and then after pulling out a drawer, it got a key, and then, in a hole that...(OK, I get it!, but let me bring the story to its conclusion) had a keyhole in it, it suddenly stuck out that seemingly infinitely extensible head, and, with its mouth, put the key in the hole and a drawer came out, and pushed him out, and he dug into it,flipped the papers and stuff, till he came to the very end and then said, "Ok, then so there are FOUR who come first and then she is last?"
And that was it.
Ok, you are the geniuses, you can figure it out, since you all know so much, but while i listen to the guy who sell(s) marijuana pon di corner/saw no informer pon di corner/ me stash have for hide/when police arrive/me have fir show up in court like rihhanna.... i will mention what happened today, after composing myself, ha ha!
Anyway, I went to... kalk bay, and when I got there, the first person to ... try his luck was the cunt of a rasta, and he looked like a cat that had swallowed the owners pet mouse, his cheeks were so puffed up at the... injustice of it all... like was I serious that i was going to KILL him because of that girl? Like he and she were even involved? I mean, that was so ... unfair?
I laughed aloud.
i could not help it.
It was like, freaky!
of course, I am going to kill you anyway, asshole, that I will NOT change. I can not let you live. It goes against all that I am.And I am the boss!
then came various people, like the gallery woman, another woman who found our conversation on the zim political situation quite interesting, tilkl she got a message, which aI read, "we are waiting for you", and she had to go and meet these other people, and then she came back, mission accomplished, and spoke about a guy with ... thinning hair-a butt-head- called dave who works upstairs. I feel insulted that a decision of mine is questioned so, so they BOTH die. I mean, what the fuck?
then there was mike, and he went to that cottage, vinnie went also to get something, told me SHE was there, and that is when I flipped, and went there to see her, and she was NOT there or had left, and then I came back, and went to see if she was upstairs, and she was, and I gave her the finger, but my heart was not in it, and then i ... concentrated on making money, sold things, and came home.
of course, the... individuals... that pissed me off, male or female, that STILL do not get it that I SAID I am going to kill them and I MEANT I am going to kill, well, they are dead. I have a fixed rule there, and it goes like so. "IF you have pissed me off, and I say you are dead, then you are dead."
Should be simple, yeah?
YEAH-SSS
Now, about that dream.
simple, Ok, I had an ... appeal.Fact is, I will start with the january 9 vision where I said after being told 'Tell Me what you want from me", "ten million dollars to build that thing". There was a first part that I deliberately excluded all this time, till I did the math. It was me and this woman michelle, and it was like, the intro, after six years I wanted to go home, but if I came back, I would divorce her, like we had been married, and she was like "why did you go there to begin with?", as if it was all my ... mother's fault. But I had started acting like I did not care, and so I just brushed it off, and walked away, solo.
That was when God did the "tell Me...." stuff.
ok, then there is this OTHER thing.
i can not ... force a person to do as I please, not if, like in this case, she ... matters... to me. I can ride roughshod over anyone because I frankly do NOT care what happens to all of you, and that STANDS, but when it came to her, she has taken a peace of my heart like you would not believe, and I try to act macho- I was priding myself on not twisting my hair at all the whole day- but I get so... worried.
And I said, on more than one occasion, she IS an easy book to read, and SHE did tell me what it would take for me to get her, did I not say? She did, and we all know what that is, right?
And I hate being TOLD what to do, and yet, I love the way I was... told.
so, fuck it, this doubting, hopeless person will have to take on the holy spirit the long slugging way, and not take any shortcuts.
I will just have to outwit him, and get him to give up his ground without having to destroy the jews in the process. Not as a people. but if they did individually piss me off, or she chose the wrong approach to get her point across, then, well, there is NO reverse mode. I will PERSONALLY maul and kill mike. Oh, hell, I will.
As for the other things, which I told her I do NOT like, well, fuck it, I do not like them. Matter of fact, I will say them... again. You will come out from your people, all of them, whoever it may be, and all those guys you even spoke to when i said i did not like it, well, they are dead, and that cottage is going to be destroyed, and those parking guys will lose their lives, and all that hubbla hubbla, you get the drift.
i will not go home, I will try my best to... educate people in what is the best way to... live, and stop all this parenting nonsense, but I will NOT destroy the lives of people unnecessarily, unless they challenge me, and then I will waste them like you would not believe, but I am set on leaving this planet anyway, and will ... TRY ... to live the compliant people on the planet.
well, i am giving nothing away here. if they can not learn, I will kill them anyway. they piss me off, i will kill whoever it is, they stand in my way, I will kill them, and if they have pissed me off, they are already dead.
now, does that meet your requirements?
and do not even bother to go, "I can not look after the ... child... on my own", unless you still think I AM a child, that you need to look after, like I need anything from you except... Ok, your love, companionship, and that you cover MY legs, those, and stop wearing that disgusting black, those disgusting minis, and those high heels, and you get your head sorted that I am smarter than you, tougher than you, know more than you, and will NOT be led by you. In short that you start looking up to me, or else.
Fuck I do not know what to do with you!
I apologise
for the changes I put you through
my intent did not
include hurting you
but insecurity
had a way of taking over me
and telling me that
any excuse would do
so i need you
your heartbeat right next to mine
coz i know that
we'll get through this
it'll just take us some time
baby dont say
a single word
put your arms around me
this is the time that i love you the most
BUT
I gotta win this war inside of me
i knew that
there'll be days like this
when I would wanna let go
feeling like i'm in, over my head...
but I wont let days like this change my feelings for you
Well, I hope that the last statement holds, because if anyone is having to fight to just stop from totally shutting out any hope, it is me
Oh, by the way, just in case I forgot, I am STILL emptying all of america, but will try to do it by ... upsetting people and potecting the things I want in it
Ok, so I will try NOT to kill people, although of course, I am still taking what I want,a nd sending all those that stand in my way out of it.
maybe permanetly, too.
I hate that book guy with his son in the uk. Like, REALLY!
Use me will you?
i need a ride, and I am not ASKING for one, too!
now, to pay part of the remainder of my rent. I owed R120 at the beginning of the day, now I will owe just... mmm a lot less!
kalk bay seems to be growing on me. I will be back, tomorrow know what they say about a theory and all that!
