So, I am like, last night, God, You unmitigated PRICK, You Asshole, I want out and I am STUCK here because of a miserable few dollars and You are doing NOTHING about it, because You know that I can not help but look to You for everything; is THIS what You came into my life FOR? Fuck YOU, I hate YOU!I am beginning, I went on, to think that You are in this with me because of Your love for Your people, and I am just tobe used by You.
I hate being ... useless, and I guess my greatest fear is always being used, and anyway, I was just staring at stuff, and so, I decided to open the enncyclopaedia, and, if memory serves me -I am at sixes and sevens here- I opened to... something to do with ... doubt, and then, I figured out that it was NOT me that was the doubting thomas in that vision of the pink panther.
Guy was a cop, after all.
So, it is written that man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God, see? Well, I live by THAT code, that God said it, so it is true. Or I hope so. Because, see, I have come to the belated, sudden,realisation that I... LOVE God, and that it would hurt me a lot if He was out to... use me. For anyone's sake.
Ah, ah, it was about proofreading, that text in the 'paedia. And well, what I did not mention was that the lady, in that pink panther vision,with her back to the wall, before she turned and went to the section that had the swiss holes in it, turned out to be the last slice of a piece of bread, that backpart, and that on THAT one was the splayed imprint of a right hand, and then she ran into one hole, and then the grey rat followed and then the tom-cat.
Which after searching, ended up with an open drawer and saying, "there were four before this and this/she is the last one".
open drawer.
Doubting thomas, trying to prove a point.
in this world of calamity
dirty looks and grudges and jealousy
and police where are abuse them authority
media clowns dont know about variety
the youngest veteran better murder them soul
...
so, the little asshole who thought I was just being stubborn to refuse a merely plutonic relationship with his sister and so decided to show me where i stand, wanted to PROVE the stuff, and THAT is what I was waiting for? But still, God did NOT say whether the womanis herself interested, or what the deal with the mother IS then. Because what I did NOT add was that, on the bike, my 'mainini' esther, was holding the carrier of these ancient 'black horse' bicycles... . Obvious what that means. Burden the mav., like I am a beast of burden.
Hidden agenda.
She thought I was here to stay,and true to form since I had taken a woman and some kind of burden to spite my mother, she thought I would do the same with her, after all, I should not take it badly if God gave me a second lease of life to get even with my mother, right?
I mean, I do NOT matter, yes? Only vengeance for mymother who wanted to kill me. Never occurred to her that I myself was a person, a being, not some chattel, not something to be used, and that I HAD effectively been evolving and that I had decided that I MATTERED, that I would NOT do ANYTHING for anyone, that I was caught up by God and wanted to see if He was on the same boat as they all were, or if, really,I mattered to HIM.
"I can understand how
it feels to be alone
I can take your burden
if you'll let Me love you
I will take Your burden
and give Your heart a home..."
fuck it, God, You have proved Your point. I have nothing more to say here. She always thought I was something underfoot, to be trampled on.
let me go.
I have wasted my time here.
Let them die.
Anyway, I will be getting my money today, sorted itout with vinnie, and well,I will NOT state HOW, just that I am NOT to remain here any more, with hypocrites like these, like I am some... subject.
prepare to die.
The mav. is on the warpath.
he was not, for God took him. Eat THAT fools!
I hate being ... useless, and I guess my greatest fear is always being used, and anyway, I was just staring at stuff, and so, I decided to open the enncyclopaedia, and, if memory serves me -I am at sixes and sevens here- I opened to... something to do with ... doubt, and then, I figured out that it was NOT me that was the doubting thomas in that vision of the pink panther.
Guy was a cop, after all.
So, it is written that man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God, see? Well, I live by THAT code, that God said it, so it is true. Or I hope so. Because, see, I have come to the belated, sudden,realisation that I... LOVE God, and that it would hurt me a lot if He was out to... use me. For anyone's sake.
Ah, ah, it was about proofreading, that text in the 'paedia. And well, what I did not mention was that the lady, in that pink panther vision,with her back to the wall, before she turned and went to the section that had the swiss holes in it, turned out to be the last slice of a piece of bread, that backpart, and that on THAT one was the splayed imprint of a right hand, and then she ran into one hole, and then the grey rat followed and then the tom-cat.
Which after searching, ended up with an open drawer and saying, "there were four before this and this/she is the last one".
open drawer.
Doubting thomas, trying to prove a point.
dirty looks and grudges and jealousy
and police where are abuse them authority
media clowns dont know about variety
the youngest veteran better murder them soul
...
so, the little asshole who thought I was just being stubborn to refuse a merely plutonic relationship with his sister and so decided to show me where i stand, wanted to PROVE the stuff, and THAT is what I was waiting for? But still, God did NOT say whether the womanis herself interested, or what the deal with the mother IS then. Because what I did NOT add was that, on the bike, my 'mainini' esther, was holding the carrier of these ancient 'black horse' bicycles... . Obvious what that means. Burden the mav., like I am a beast of burden.
Hidden agenda.
She thought I was here to stay,and true to form since I had taken a woman and some kind of burden to spite my mother, she thought I would do the same with her, after all, I should not take it badly if God gave me a second lease of life to get even with my mother, right?
I mean, I do NOT matter, yes? Only vengeance for mymother who wanted to kill me. Never occurred to her that I myself was a person, a being, not some chattel, not something to be used, and that I HAD effectively been evolving and that I had decided that I MATTERED, that I would NOT do ANYTHING for anyone, that I was caught up by God and wanted to see if He was on the same boat as they all were, or if, really,I mattered to HIM.
"I can understand how
it feels to be alone
I can take your burden
if you'll let Me love you
I will take Your burden
and give Your heart a home..."
fuck it, God, You have proved Your point. I have nothing more to say here. She always thought I was something underfoot, to be trampled on.
let me go.
I have wasted my time here.
Let them die.
Anyway, I will be getting my money today, sorted itout with vinnie, and well,I will NOT state HOW, just that I am NOT to remain here any more, with hypocrites like these, like I am some... subject.
The mav. is on the warpath.
he was not, for God took him. Eat THAT fools!
