So, I wake up earlier than usual, for me that is, and I get on the train, and i am aware that the day is too young so much so that I ask what time it is from some guy as we get to Plumstead, and I am told its 07:01, and so, I get off at valsbaai, again, just so that I can stroll leisurely to my ... disappointment.
Because my mind is made up that by the end of the day today i will either have killed or be starting to kill... people.
Because, of course, all this is just a waste of time.
Get, eventually, to kalk bay, and the bombi-stombi is NOT yet opened, neither vinnie nor abisha are there yet and so, I sit down, for about five seconds, get fed up, and then go and get me some water and mix it with my drink-o-pop satchett, and then sit down again, sipping everything and looking for the first bits and pieces of trouble.
And, of course, God decides to add His bit to everything. there is a song from the lamentations of jeremiah, verbatim, where the words are, in full, "yet this I call to mind and therefore i have hope, for it is because of the mercy of The LORD that we are not consumed, for the steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, and His mercies never end, they are new every morning, great is Thy Faithfulness, O LORD", and anyway, the song itself goes
Because my mind is made up that by the end of the day today i will either have killed or be starting to kill... people.
Because, of course, all this is just a waste of time.
Get, eventually, to kalk bay, and the bombi-stombi is NOT yet opened, neither vinnie nor abisha are there yet and so, I sit down, for about five seconds, get fed up, and then go and get me some water and mix it with my drink-o-pop satchett, and then sit down again, sipping everything and looking for the first bits and pieces of trouble.
And, of course, God decides to add His bit to everything. there is a song from the lamentations of jeremiah, verbatim, where the words are, in full, "yet this I call to mind and therefore i have hope, for it is because of the mercy of The LORD that we are not consumed, for the steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, and His mercies never end, they are new every morning, great is Thy Faithfulness, O LORD", and anyway, the song itself goes
the steadfast love of the LORD never ceases
and His mercies never end
they are new every morning, new every morning
great is thy faithfulness
O LORD, great is they faithfulness.
Most days, when I am sort of almost through the day, He sort of pushes me again, telling me , with the words, "they are new every morning, new every morning", that He has, from my point of view, fresh... disappointments waiting for me, and i will have to endure everything till the next day, when He adds just a bit more unpleasantness to my... plate.
And i was sitting there, going sour, when He did that again. And I almost exploded.
It is STILL morning, and You fucking tell me that I am going to have to put up with MORE Bullshit, You Arsehole?
then He goes again, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he"
And i am like, Fuck is that supposed to mean? I am done with riddles, and so, i get up, and decide to walk, here to fish hoek, to the library, and i am just thinking, "know what, if only, FOR once, I could be WRONG about people, you know. If only they did NOT always decide to push me here and there like i am even in the MOOD for negotiation, and would just accept it that somebody bigger and better than all of them put together was HERE, then i would not have to be so... destructive.
If only I could be wrong.
And then I get what He was saying, because as i walked to kalk bay, I saw, as on some OTHER days even in rondebosche, this David Matthews bakkie, and I assumed -yeah right!- that the people were just driving around doing their work, but NOW, well, I realise that... maybe, just maybe, it is an... appeal?Coz as i walked to fish hoek it was there again, driving back past me, headed in the other direction.
So, I am assuming that the ... woman is ... appealing... on behalf of her ... sister?Since I DID say something about 'no exceptions' yesterday?
Well, the thing is, I do not care about all those other people, but i well, when you talk about the heart... I find that I see her face and the way she looks... looked at me sometimes and i find that I can not do THAT to her, kill off her people simply because they did me wrong.Not if she is... sincere... towards me, that is. I can just, maybe, just let it all ride, and shove it all off, but then, I would LOVE, just for once, to be wrong about what today is going to be like, because in my heart, I do not want to have to destroy the... love... I feel for this woman, but i am facing a reality that is NOT promising me good things, here.
I am thinking that the lion has to wake up anyway, and go about His business with a mighty, emphatic roar!
I think all this is BULLSHIT, personally, and have no expectation that anything profitable will come out of it.
I am thinking guns and..blood, and how to get to the US soonest!.
then He goes again, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he"
And i am like, Fuck is that supposed to mean? I am done with riddles, and so, i get up, and decide to walk, here to fish hoek, to the library, and i am just thinking, "know what, if only, FOR once, I could be WRONG about people, you know. If only they did NOT always decide to push me here and there like i am even in the MOOD for negotiation, and would just accept it that somebody bigger and better than all of them put together was HERE, then i would not have to be so... destructive.
If only I could be wrong.
And then I get what He was saying, because as i walked to kalk bay, I saw, as on some OTHER days even in rondebosche, this David Matthews bakkie, and I assumed -yeah right!- that the people were just driving around doing their work, but NOW, well, I realise that... maybe, just maybe, it is an... appeal?Coz as i walked to fish hoek it was there again, driving back past me, headed in the other direction.
So, I am assuming that the ... woman is ... appealing... on behalf of her ... sister?Since I DID say something about 'no exceptions' yesterday?
Well, the thing is, I do not care about all those other people, but i well, when you talk about the heart... I find that I see her face and the way she looks... looked at me sometimes and i find that I can not do THAT to her, kill off her people simply because they did me wrong.Not if she is... sincere... towards me, that is. I can just, maybe, just let it all ride, and shove it all off, but then, I would LOVE, just for once, to be wrong about what today is going to be like, because in my heart, I do not want to have to destroy the... love... I feel for this woman, but i am facing a reality that is NOT promising me good things, here.
I am thinking that the lion has to wake up anyway, and go about His business with a mighty, emphatic roar!
when the lion wake up
gideon boots them lace up
them fall down and break up
some girl where are model in a make-up...!
Now, I do not know what anyone else may be thinking, but i am thinking that, for me anyway, i am about to be taught more 'terms and conditions', in which case, today, the mav. is going to take it to them, and start showing that He is the BOSS, and no two ways about it.
I will go back, and see what kind of bullshit lies ahead for me.
YEAH-SSS!
YEAH-SSS!
I think all this is BULLSHIT, personally, and have no expectation that anything profitable will come out of it.
I am thinking guns and..blood, and how to get to the US soonest!.
