Do not take it personal, please.
Apple of my eye, I have not changed my mind about you, nor my ... hope... that I would someday... maybe... hold you in my arms, but in THIS you are hopelessly OUT of your league.
this is, as He pointed out this morning, something that I have kept hidden in my heart, something I have wanted, longed for, and never thought I could express, till now, till a few days ago when I finally realised that I would NOT die.
this is between me and God.
I NEED to look Him in the eye.
I NEED to see Him face to face, and ... find out WHY ... He reached out and did THIS to me.
I HAVE to go find Him.
arise
from your slumber
never you play that number
I say the lion wake up
gideon boots them lace up
them fall down and break up
some [girl] that are model in make-up
them are no know razor up
me tell them now straight up
say
nuff are them fir get face up
what some o dem are do fir wear jacob
[girl] you are all play dress up
you think me fit a dress up?
Hey what are now?
me no know when some a dem get so bright up
belly skin appear
and pants are so tight up...
bleach( violet) in the face I know the face extra [pink] up
Hey what are now?
me no know when some a dem get so bright up
belly skin appear
and pants are so tight up...
bleach( violet) in the face I know the face extra [pink] up
know yourself!
scorch them
burn em like a torch dem
Ok, then Most High God, You have me where You wanted me, I have all the clues I NEED to start ... my search.
Let me go from these... chains... that have restricted my movement. I want complete control over everything that You reserved... for the man in your image, if I am to restrain myself from destroying people that think their opinions or self importance matter in this, or to just throw them away like rubbish if they are in the way of the things i need.
This is between You and me, so, fuck it, lets get it on!
I HATE this limbo, I HATE being this wanderer that seems to not know where to go.
See, this is the deal, I have never ever been able to focus on people, ever, and never have i wanted to just settle down and even be INVOLVED in the dealings of people.
I am morbidly... curious... about God, and there are two things that will happen if and when we meet. He will either kill me, OR, He will give me a reason to want to... live.
Nothing you could have done, woman, would have kept me from flying the coop, because, as they say, the first cut is the deepest. Your world, your lifestyle, your everything, I am about to turn upside down, for ever, because in the course of my discoveries, I have seen what MUST be done to put people out of the picture permanently, and that does not mean killing them off totally. I mean, take today, for example.
I come from the library, and there you are, not getting it that when it comes to this, you are a ... child.
I possess the most sophisticated brain even I have ever seen, and you actualy stoop to THINKING that what I need is some kind of... protection... or some kind of warm heart, or to be melted by you when I see you, and well, that is why I ignored you. Child, you have to grow up, and realise that well, the PERSON you persistently piss off IS the FIRST and LAST Word on what even YOUR future will be like, and ... that does NOT seem to get through to you. See, I will put it to you like this.
I am well within my rights to just kill you, and everyone that has pissed me off, and even be able to write it off as justified.
I am under NO compulsion to LEAVE anyone alive here, but then, see, the ONE problem I would have if I KILLED off everyone would be that I may just be tempted to come back, and just sleep, and have no reason to want to carry on, because right now, I am not even sure I would even bother going if it was not for the fact that I happen to be unable to stand people and the persistent way they have of trying to stereotype me.
THAT is probably the ONLY reason why I am not quite interested in killing off EVERYONE.
But, you do not get it.
You persist in taking me for something ... small... bound by your petty little laws to behave in your petty little ways, and think that, in the extreme, you will be able to contain me?
You are afraid of me.
ever ask yourself, deep down, WHY?
I am NOT in the least like you, I do not march to the same beat like you, and I have never, ever, in all the time you were doing all your silly little acts, behaved in the manner you expected.
Woman, grow up.
This, which you think is some big joke, is NOTHING of the kind.
The same goes for all you other little insects, OK, who think that I am in some way needy, especially you stupid females.
NONE of you have any sway with me, and i PROMISE you, that I am going to kill you all that persist in daring to think that if i say that I am unhappy with the code of conduct of the ONE person that I have time for, that means I am changing tack and looking elsewhere.
there is, and has always been, just ONE possible woman. I have found her, and if my ways are NOT to her liking, if first and foremost she does not think that what matters to me IS a big deal, then well, I will drop her.
But she is IT, and there is no other one.
I do NOT like the assumptions that the rest of you make, and to show that i am UNRESTRAINED, i will wipe out all those that THINK I am wrong in my thinking.
Like the swimmer woman that showed up with her daughter and thenn I had to figure out that the other daughter was the one that vinnie's landlord, johno, is dating, and I am like, well, fuck that, i will destroy them all. I do not need little upstarts thinking they know more about what makes me tick than I do, and so, I will take no more of this folly.
I have told you, woman, THIS one thing, that you made me mad, and you made a PUBLIC fool of me, and I NEED an explanation, an expiation, PUBLICLY, because YOU made me look like a little boy in front of vinnie, (who till then had had high praise of you), or I swear to you that I will not only kill you, but i will wipe out everything that has your name stamped on it, your race, your bloodline, your very essence of being, because I am NOT amused by this, get it?
You will surrender or i will destroy you.
I was going to leave anyway, but see, you remain the other of the two curiosities of my life, and so, since He said something about His 'mercies' being new every morning, I am going to wait and see this coming morning, my ... birthday.
I will therefore extend my ... peace... for one more... night.
I have said it ad nauseum that i am NOT God's servant, and will NEVER do anything to make any seeming ... plan... of His according to your concepts of what SHOULD be come to pass, and fools do not get it, think i will come to God and bow down and bear His yoke.
I choose what I like...
He has made sure from the beginning that He points out that I am UNDER no authority from anyone else,
I have claimed you for Myself
Be yourself
My yoke is easy and My burden is light... and my yoke is as academic to the fish [Isaiah 6:1-13]
I have given you a companion, my own soul
tell them the source of the cloud that does NOT bear water
I will NOT let you fall
In Him we live and move and have our being, and existence exists in Him, and to him who sees will go the CROWN
Now, where in ALL that does there even begin to be a ... hint... that I will somehow be doing the donkeywork for some fool? ha?
It is always a ... good... thing to think soberly about yourself, and NOT to make as if you are more than you are, you know, because the balloons cam be shot out of the sky, and will deflate ... with a fart.
I do not give a fuck how this may be hurting you, it is about time you had that fucking smirk wiped off of your face, you silly little fool, because i am NOT going to take your or anyone else's stupid nonsense ever again.
God does NOT like women, and yet when it came to YOU, many times He has had to intervene when I washed my hands of you, and you take all that like you are some special piece of work when the whole reason why even He bothers is because He sees and He foreknew from the beginning that there would be one person that the mere sight of did not upset me. You are the only person that does not GRATE my nerves on sight, and i think it is high time you opened your eyes to seeing that this world, this TIME, this HIStory, is about ... ME, and everything and everyone is subject to MY terms and conditions, or by God, regardless of how you may see yourself, I will KILL you, and I am NOT talking about standing by and just letting you die, I am talking about KILLING you, with my bare hands, because i do NOT have time for pussyfooting around.
Piece of shit!
As for the rest of your brood, I have said it, and this will, happily, be the last time i say it, stay clear of me, the mere sight of you nauseates me. I despise you all and do not even NEED a reason to NOT wipe you off the face of the earth, except if she was to bow, and put her hands up, for once, because when it comes to this... the WarLord does NOT bow to anyone, male female, or any creature of whatever ... persuasion.
the Gully God- oh, I DO sleep in a gully, too- nuh afraid a dem
Speaking of gullies, I am watching this unfolding drama with a bit of increasingly fascinated... interest.
When I came to see vinnie, i ... lied about where exactly I was staying, and made up a story about the place i used to stay last year, in claremont, because the other day i had bumped into the ... old timer... who works at the kingsbury hospital -small world- which is near my sleeping quarters, and , maybe because i always like having something exciting happening, i told him to tell vinnie i was ...in claremont, and so, when i came in broad daylight, i was coming with the aim of being... disappointed and then just leaving, but i ended up spending time, and well, one lie led to another, and now, he knows i left my clothes in site 5, and they are all aware that tomorrow i turn 32, want to make a small celebration, and i am like, well, I can NOT kill them, i mean, they obviously ... LIKE me. I mean, vinnie, he is OK, I guess, and so, well, I think that I am NOT really keen on ending his happiness, I get to hear his plans for the future, and I am not ... unfeeling where he is concerned, and I get on well with him, and I tend to listen to what he says even when he is not speaking aloud, and today, I suppose he saw that i was getting upset when I started thinking and scowling about the fact that I was still stuck here, and he told me that at least when i am among people i get a chance to socialise, get advice, and all that, but he frankly did not believe me when i said that I was hiv-+ve and should have died and did not, and he was asking me the other time, yesterday, in fact, why I had told him that, or why I even said that the chick and the guy she was kissing were brother and sister, and i was brushing it all off at first because i was just focused on one thing, closure, but now, I am rather fed up with trying to stand for something when everytime the person I am trying to shield makes a fool of me, and so, i have decided, fuck this, i am going to just end the bullshit and ... put this all to rest, once and for all, and i sincerely HOPE that the guy and her are, were involved, because that gives me the right, the ground to gleefully wipe them wholesale from the face of the earth, yes.
i mean, i have nothing to gain by perpetuating a lie. No, I intend to have my birthday cake and then bid everyone a nice, final, goodbye, but i will NOT kill my friend, no, nor destroy his chances of happiness, on this earth.I will find a way NOT to.
I possess the most sophisticated brain even I have ever seen, and you actualy stoop to THINKING that what I need is some kind of... protection... or some kind of warm heart, or to be melted by you when I see you, and well, that is why I ignored you. Child, you have to grow up, and realise that well, the PERSON you persistently piss off IS the FIRST and LAST Word on what even YOUR future will be like, and ... that does NOT seem to get through to you. See, I will put it to you like this.
I am well within my rights to just kill you, and everyone that has pissed me off, and even be able to write it off as justified.
I am under NO compulsion to LEAVE anyone alive here, but then, see, the ONE problem I would have if I KILLED off everyone would be that I may just be tempted to come back, and just sleep, and have no reason to want to carry on, because right now, I am not even sure I would even bother going if it was not for the fact that I happen to be unable to stand people and the persistent way they have of trying to stereotype me.
THAT is probably the ONLY reason why I am not quite interested in killing off EVERYONE.
But, you do not get it.
You persist in taking me for something ... small... bound by your petty little laws to behave in your petty little ways, and think that, in the extreme, you will be able to contain me?
You are afraid of me.
ever ask yourself, deep down, WHY?
I am NOT in the least like you, I do not march to the same beat like you, and I have never, ever, in all the time you were doing all your silly little acts, behaved in the manner you expected.
Woman, grow up.
This, which you think is some big joke, is NOTHING of the kind.
The same goes for all you other little insects, OK, who think that I am in some way needy, especially you stupid females.
NONE of you have any sway with me, and i PROMISE you, that I am going to kill you all that persist in daring to think that if i say that I am unhappy with the code of conduct of the ONE person that I have time for, that means I am changing tack and looking elsewhere.
there is, and has always been, just ONE possible woman. I have found her, and if my ways are NOT to her liking, if first and foremost she does not think that what matters to me IS a big deal, then well, I will drop her.
But she is IT, and there is no other one.
I do NOT like the assumptions that the rest of you make, and to show that i am UNRESTRAINED, i will wipe out all those that THINK I am wrong in my thinking.
I have told you, woman, THIS one thing, that you made me mad, and you made a PUBLIC fool of me, and I NEED an explanation, an expiation, PUBLICLY, because YOU made me look like a little boy in front of vinnie, (who till then had had high praise of you), or I swear to you that I will not only kill you, but i will wipe out everything that has your name stamped on it, your race, your bloodline, your very essence of being, because I am NOT amused by this, get it?
You will surrender or i will destroy you.
I was going to leave anyway, but see, you remain the other of the two curiosities of my life, and so, since He said something about His 'mercies' being new every morning, I am going to wait and see this coming morning, my ... birthday.
I will therefore extend my ... peace... for one more... night.
I have said it ad nauseum that i am NOT God's servant, and will NEVER do anything to make any seeming ... plan... of His according to your concepts of what SHOULD be come to pass, and fools do not get it, think i will come to God and bow down and bear His yoke.
I choose what I like...
He has made sure from the beginning that He points out that I am UNDER no authority from anyone else,
I have claimed you for Myself
Be yourself
My yoke is easy and My burden is light... and my yoke is as academic to the fish [Isaiah 6:1-13]
I have given you a companion, my own soul
tell them the source of the cloud that does NOT bear water
I will NOT let you fall
In Him we live and move and have our being, and existence exists in Him, and to him who sees will go the CROWN
Now, where in ALL that does there even begin to be a ... hint... that I will somehow be doing the donkeywork for some fool? ha?
I do not give a fuck how this may be hurting you, it is about time you had that fucking smirk wiped off of your face, you silly little fool, because i am NOT going to take your or anyone else's stupid nonsense ever again.
God does NOT like women, and yet when it came to YOU, many times He has had to intervene when I washed my hands of you, and you take all that like you are some special piece of work when the whole reason why even He bothers is because He sees and He foreknew from the beginning that there would be one person that the mere sight of did not upset me. You are the only person that does not GRATE my nerves on sight, and i think it is high time you opened your eyes to seeing that this world, this TIME, this HIStory, is about ... ME, and everything and everyone is subject to MY terms and conditions, or by God, regardless of how you may see yourself, I will KILL you, and I am NOT talking about standing by and just letting you die, I am talking about KILLING you, with my bare hands, because i do NOT have time for pussyfooting around.
Piece of shit!
so me are suppresed?
ha ha?
I
yeah
ha ha?
I
yeah
me still a chill
every gully
me have the power still
warn dem
tell em again
nobody pon the gully nuh afraid a dem
man treat it like fear a dem
but nobody pon the gully nuh afraid a dem
warn dem
make it clear again
nobody pon the gully nug afraid a dem
men are treat it like fear a dem
but the God fir the gully nuh afraid a dem
the Gully God- oh, I DO sleep in a gully, too- nuh afraid a dem
Speaking of gullies, I am watching this unfolding drama with a bit of increasingly fascinated... interest.
When I came to see vinnie, i ... lied about where exactly I was staying, and made up a story about the place i used to stay last year, in claremont, because the other day i had bumped into the ... old timer... who works at the kingsbury hospital -small world- which is near my sleeping quarters, and , maybe because i always like having something exciting happening, i told him to tell vinnie i was ...in claremont, and so, when i came in broad daylight, i was coming with the aim of being... disappointed and then just leaving, but i ended up spending time, and well, one lie led to another, and now, he knows i left my clothes in site 5, and they are all aware that tomorrow i turn 32, want to make a small celebration, and i am like, well, I can NOT kill them, i mean, they obviously ... LIKE me. I mean, vinnie, he is OK, I guess, and so, well, I think that I am NOT really keen on ending his happiness, I get to hear his plans for the future, and I am not ... unfeeling where he is concerned, and I get on well with him, and I tend to listen to what he says even when he is not speaking aloud, and today, I suppose he saw that i was getting upset when I started thinking and scowling about the fact that I was still stuck here, and he told me that at least when i am among people i get a chance to socialise, get advice, and all that, but he frankly did not believe me when i said that I was hiv-+ve and should have died and did not, and he was asking me the other time, yesterday, in fact, why I had told him that, or why I even said that the chick and the guy she was kissing were brother and sister, and i was brushing it all off at first because i was just focused on one thing, closure, but now, I am rather fed up with trying to stand for something when everytime the person I am trying to shield makes a fool of me, and so, i have decided, fuck this, i am going to just end the bullshit and ... put this all to rest, once and for all, and i sincerely HOPE that the guy and her are, were involved, because that gives me the right, the ground to gleefully wipe them wholesale from the face of the earth, yes.
i mean, i have nothing to gain by perpetuating a lie. No, I intend to have my birthday cake and then bid everyone a nice, final, goodbye, but i will NOT kill my friend, no, nor destroy his chances of happiness, on this earth.I will find a way NOT to.
I see your
dirty face
hide behind your collar
what is done
in vain
truth is hard to swallow
so you pray to God
justify the way you live a lie
live a lie
live a lie
And you take your time
and you do your crime
well you made your bed
i'm in mine
because when I arrive
I
i bring the fire
i bring the fire
make you come
alive
I can take you higher
what this is
forgot
I must now remind you
let it rock
let it rock...
Now the son's disgrace
he who knew his Father
when he cursed
His name
turned and chased the dollar
but it broke
his heart
so he stuck his middle finger
to the world
to the world
to the world
and you take your turn
and you stand in line
well you get whats yours
i got mine
I wish I could be
as cool as you
and i wish i could say
the things you do
but I cant and i wont live a lie
no not this time time time...
well, I can not find the song, but well, THIS will do.
This is, after all, MY story
original story
this is my story
real ghetto story...!
How about this one
I could NOT have said it better myself, a-men.
what matters MORE than the mistakes you make
is what you LEARN from them, yeah.
And the mav. has LEARNED to just be... real, and stop being such a pretender.
I am me, something no one has ever seen, something no one will EVER see again. and the baddest and BIGGEST Being that any of you will EVER see
fuck, I need big, huge, humungous GUNS to just spray everyone in my way, as I go for touchdown in the US, Oh, YEAH!!!!
Ok, fine, getting... laid... would have been nice, but fat chance of that, huh?
All of last week, this song has been irritating me, and I have found myself humming it also, sometimes,
Fuck does she think she is SUPPOSED to be to me?
by WHO?
And to WHOM does she answer?
Fucking cunt!
Now the son's disgrace
he who knew his Father
when he cursed
His name
turned and chased the dollar
but it broke
his heart
so he stuck his middle finger
to the world
to the world
to the world
and you take your turn
and you stand in line
well you get whats yours
i got mine
I wish I could be
as cool as you
and i wish i could say
the things you do
but I cant and i wont live a lie
no not this time time time...
That Rock there is Noah's ark, and well, let me just say that, according to me, the two of them MADE their bed, and far as I am concerned, i am going to make sure they LIE on it, and then I am going to KILL them, for it. Fuck this, I am NOT interested in being taken for a puppet on a string by a couple of imbeciles who assume that the world revolves around them.I am the BIGGEST, the BADDEST in this industry. Fucking lARGER that life, yes sirree.
Fuck happened to agent sasco and spragga benz combo? Fucking You-Tube!
Fuck happened to agent sasco and spragga benz combo? Fucking You-Tube!
now we got the keys to the kingdom...!
This is, after all, MY story
original story
this is my story
real ghetto story...!
How about this one
Oh, we been driving down this road too long
just trying to find my way back home
but the old me is dead and gone
dead and gone
See that quote:-from saul turned paul:=>
when I was a child, I spoke as a child
i understood as a child
I reasoned as a child
BUT when i became a man
I put the childish things away
I put the childish things away
I could NOT have said it better myself, a-men.
what matters MORE than the mistakes you make
is what you LEARN from them, yeah.
And the mav. has LEARNED to just be... real, and stop being such a pretender.
I am me, something no one has ever seen, something no one will EVER see again. and the baddest and BIGGEST Being that any of you will EVER see
Yeee-haaaaaa!
fuck, I need big, huge, humungous GUNS to just spray everyone in my way, as I go for touchdown in the US, Oh, YEAH!!!!
Ok, fine, getting... laid... would have been nice, but fat chance of that, huh?
All of last week, this song has been irritating me, and I have found myself humming it also, sometimes,
says her destiny
says her destiny
says her destiny
says her destiny
she says her destiny
fir get next to me...
As what? Fuck does she think she can be to me? a helper. A coach in life skills?Fuck does she think she is SUPPOSED to be to me?
by WHO?
And to WHOM does she answer?
Fucking cunt!
poison dem mind
harden dem heart
me see say that the whole are dem are cursed
babylon poison dem mind
harden dem heart
me tell them say fir change them ways
are wanna name
straight forward
yo are straight forward
forward we going
and we nuh go move backward
yo are straight forward...
