It takes anger to unleash the beast in me, to get me to stop caring about treading on people's toes and start just being ... me.
I have been watching as people live their lives, and after i saw the love of my life walk about, and I again saw that I was not even getting any head way, I was stumped. And did not know what to do. Then, by a series of events, I ended up with my hand on a book by... Lee Child, called Tripwire, and I just read the beginning, and then left it behind, after planning to read it on the train.
About Jack Reacher, former military policeman turned wanderer, and it was as if, what with people from my past creeping up, I identified with the person that had gone, left the highly structured life and become someone anonymous, with as small a paper trail as possible, and nothing like he used to be.
When God entered my life I got His ... permission... sort of, to get free of the rigid life I had been living, that I had been an unwilling part of, one I disapproved of, and found fault with.
I dont know about anyone else, but being TOLD "be yourself" sort of makes one free to experiment, and i discovered what mattered, what was real, and what was not, what suited me and what did not, and i also came across the fact that I can not escape from, that no matter who, no matter what, I can NOT fit in.
I read the first part of the book, and I said to God that I did not know what to do. I was clueless.
BUT I started observing people, and stuff, and it gradually sank in to me that, as vinnie said, when I am around I am the life of the party, a comic, and when I am not there they NOTICE. But I may as well be invisible.
Because the real me is a distant, unknown entity, a lonely person who hides his true nature under a cloak of concealment, and I was worried that they would discover who I am and make me fidget before i could leave on MY terms.
But, well, I got to the point where the private eye is found dead, and he is being asked by crystal why he should care about someone that died trying to find him, hunt him down, and I was interested in the way the guy expressed it, that he realised she was not being callous but just curious, about why it should be any of his business why someone died for him when he could just carry on with his life, and well, way things were expressed, I grasped the truth behind the innocuous encounter of mine with this book.
I do not think I will be reaching if I said that that is why maybe even the woman I am interested in thinks about why I even stick to vinnie and do not rise up on my own.
I feel responsible, for his welfare, because he, with his worries, made time for me when frankly,, NO ONE else would, and I am ever aware of it, because I KNOW, after having been through it, even with the guy that was around the other day, how it feels to be chucked away when the chips are down. That is why I am doing my best NOT to harm him, even though I grasp that I have to , anyway, end his life, in a time when it will not be necessary for him to go to hell.
Some things mean a lot to someone that has had no one to hold him up when everyone else wanted him down . Woman, THAT is why my friend takes precedence over you, and why I am willing to stop a while while figuring out his safety.
You mean something quite less than he does, and push comes to shove, I would kill you rather than let you mess up MY plans for him since you are always looking down your nose at me, and frankly, I can not even say to myself I love you, not even when dreaming. There is so much hurt and bitterness in me towards you that I can not find it in me to even forgive you or even smile at you. I am looking for you to make the next mistake, and I will kill you. It is that simple.
Please, listen to mommy and try pushing the 'save my brothers/mike " agenda just ONCE more, and I will have you, right in my sights!
I like I like
girl me want you in my bed
becoz me see say that you want me
you want me
so me style are me style nuh normal
girl are see me and are see me a phenomenal male...
me style are me style nuh normal...!
I am so sharp
bcoz I'm never blunt
looking for the kitty cat know a man to hunt
I aint gonna lie
girl I'm never gonna front
i can see it in your eyes
you wanna give me what me want
I have been watching as people live their lives, and after i saw the love of my life walk about, and I again saw that I was not even getting any head way, I was stumped. And did not know what to do. Then, by a series of events, I ended up with my hand on a book by... Lee Child, called Tripwire, and I just read the beginning, and then left it behind, after planning to read it on the train.
About Jack Reacher, former military policeman turned wanderer, and it was as if, what with people from my past creeping up, I identified with the person that had gone, left the highly structured life and become someone anonymous, with as small a paper trail as possible, and nothing like he used to be.
When God entered my life I got His ... permission... sort of, to get free of the rigid life I had been living, that I had been an unwilling part of, one I disapproved of, and found fault with.
I dont know about anyone else, but being TOLD "be yourself" sort of makes one free to experiment, and i discovered what mattered, what was real, and what was not, what suited me and what did not, and i also came across the fact that I can not escape from, that no matter who, no matter what, I can NOT fit in.
I read the first part of the book, and I said to God that I did not know what to do. I was clueless.
BUT I started observing people, and stuff, and it gradually sank in to me that, as vinnie said, when I am around I am the life of the party, a comic, and when I am not there they NOTICE. But I may as well be invisible.
Because the real me is a distant, unknown entity, a lonely person who hides his true nature under a cloak of concealment, and I was worried that they would discover who I am and make me fidget before i could leave on MY terms.
But, well, I got to the point where the private eye is found dead, and he is being asked by crystal why he should care about someone that died trying to find him, hunt him down, and I was interested in the way the guy expressed it, that he realised she was not being callous but just curious, about why it should be any of his business why someone died for him when he could just carry on with his life, and well, way things were expressed, I grasped the truth behind the innocuous encounter of mine with this book.
I do not think I will be reaching if I said that that is why maybe even the woman I am interested in thinks about why I even stick to vinnie and do not rise up on my own.
I feel responsible, for his welfare, because he, with his worries, made time for me when frankly,, NO ONE else would, and I am ever aware of it, because I KNOW, after having been through it, even with the guy that was around the other day, how it feels to be chucked away when the chips are down. That is why I am doing my best NOT to harm him, even though I grasp that I have to , anyway, end his life, in a time when it will not be necessary for him to go to hell.
Some things mean a lot to someone that has had no one to hold him up when everyone else wanted him down . Woman, THAT is why my friend takes precedence over you, and why I am willing to stop a while while figuring out his safety.
You mean something quite less than he does, and push comes to shove, I would kill you rather than let you mess up MY plans for him since you are always looking down your nose at me, and frankly, I can not even say to myself I love you, not even when dreaming. There is so much hurt and bitterness in me towards you that I can not find it in me to even forgive you or even smile at you. I am looking for you to make the next mistake, and I will kill you. It is that simple.
Please, listen to mommy and try pushing the 'save my brothers/mike " agenda just ONCE more, and I will have you, right in my sights!
girl me want you in my bed
becoz me see say that you want me
you want me
so me style are me style nuh normal
girl are see me and are see me a phenomenal male...
me style are me style nuh normal...!
I am so sharp
bcoz I'm never blunt
looking for the kitty cat know a man to hunt
I aint gonna lie
girl I'm never gonna front
i can see it in your eyes
you wanna give me what me want
