I would be lying if I said that it was something He said ONLY while I was compiling my last post that made me think maybe I must ... sleep on it. NO, I was, earlier in the day, after the OTHER post, going to go sleep at midday anyway, when, as i got to harfield station, and was about to jump over, fuck the damn time, her face suddenly flashed in front of me.
She has a very... interesting face.
So, I said, 'fuck this, I will prove You wrong, she can not possibly ... love... me'
i came back empty-handed, and even as i wrote my post, these lines, after I expressed how much I really hated God and just wanted to die- I am going to LIVE, do you know how ... painful ... that is to take in- came to me
She has a very... interesting face.
So, I said, 'fuck this, I will prove You wrong, she can not possibly ... love... me'
i came back empty-handed, and even as i wrote my post, these lines, after I expressed how much I really hated God and just wanted to die- I am going to LIVE, do you know how ... painful ... that is to take in- came to me
you make me feel
you make me feel
you make me feel
like a natural woman
And i remembered the ... effort, the everything that has happened between me and this woman, and hell, even a blind man can tell that, to HER at least, visions and everything aside, I matter a GREAT deal, and while I am not the most hopeful of people, I am NOT blind also.
I do not know what to... SAY.
I mean, I do not even KNOW if I matter to her, I mean, I am ... ME, and when I look at myself I only see what I do not have, and frankly, I never thought I COULD mean anything to anyone, someone that I find means ... a lot... to me, but hell, I mean, what am I supposed to do with... THIS?
I mean, I can read her like a book, I have only to look into her eyes, and they are like a window into her soul, but hell, even if she cares, what about... everything else?
I am NO fan of... all this STUFF, I have been fighting my battle with God, and I am not INTERESTED in life, in all this that is THERE, and till I get... tired (which is never) my first priority will be to get God to make sure that He releases me from my prison.
What kind of ... LIFE... is that for a person to live, or to burden another with?
I can not deny that she is one person that has had me go weak at the knees just looking at her, and that she has made me realise that the simple life i thought I would lead is NOT going to be so simple, because I SHOULD have gone my way, and walked away, but it not that simple. I found out that I would NOT want to do anything to hurt her, but I find that I can do nothing BUT hurt her, because I am NOT the man she would hope i would be. I will never, for example, accept those other terms and conditions she was on and on about. I may, out of consideration, let her... race... such as are not in my way, because come rain come thunder, I am headed for the US, with guns blazing, well, because of the crap life they have lived, I would just let them die... in peace, but that is the MOST I can do, I HAVE to kill them, and then try to find means to get AT God, fuck, what do you all think I was eyeing that jacob's ladder thing for;- I need maybe to get my hands on an angel, or the info, or something, and find out how THEY, who can not exist where there is NO water, manage to do the planet hopping stuff, and then follow up. I will not rest till I eyeball God face to face, and He kills me.
its that simple.
However, if MY solution is unacceptable- hey, BROTHER?- I am game to killing you outright. Your call. I will NEVER back down from that, fool. I SHOULD kill you anyway, but the look on her face when I showed up the other day, made me see just how much you mean to her, asshole, and i decided to get temporary amnesia, as far as you are concerned.
Dont push it. I will give you a war such as you have never seen, because push comes to shove, you are NOTHING to me, just an insect in my eyes, and bugs? bugs get squashed.
KNOW something, fools?, I have NOTHING to lose, because while you fools were busy telling me just what kind of idiot/vagrant/mischief-maker I am, i was getting to the basics of what I am capable of, and hell, I AM the LORD of this earth, and you can try to ignore it, or whatever you want, but come up against me, and I will SHOW you just what the fuck I mean by that, and so, let me put it this way, TRY me, and I will prove it.
Then, I was walking about, trying to find a fucking internet cafe that would open Sundays, and had to trek back all the way to claremont, He hit me even harder with something else, and it was the way He presented it, all soft and all... getting me right there, that I slowed down, and I decided that I was not able to just brush everything aside.
look into my eyes
you will see
what you mean to me
search your heart
search your soul...
you will see what you mean to me
cant tell me
its not worth trying for
cant tell me
its not worth dying for
you know its true
you will see
what you mean to me
search your heart
search your soul...
you will see what you mean to me
cant tell me
its not worth trying for
cant tell me
its not worth dying for
you know its true
everything I do
i do it for you...
And i remembered the ... effort, the everything that has happened between me and this woman, and hell, even a blind man can tell that, to HER at least, visions and everything aside, I matter a GREAT deal, and while I am not the most hopeful of people, I am NOT blind also.
I do not know what to... SAY.
I mean, I do not even KNOW if I matter to her, I mean, I am ... ME, and when I look at myself I only see what I do not have, and frankly, I never thought I COULD mean anything to anyone, someone that I find means ... a lot... to me, but hell, I mean, what am I supposed to do with... THIS?
I mean, I can read her like a book, I have only to look into her eyes, and they are like a window into her soul, but hell, even if she cares, what about... everything else?
I am NO fan of... all this STUFF, I have been fighting my battle with God, and I am not INTERESTED in life, in all this that is THERE, and till I get... tired (which is never) my first priority will be to get God to make sure that He releases me from my prison.
What kind of ... LIFE... is that for a person to live, or to burden another with?
I can not deny that she is one person that has had me go weak at the knees just looking at her, and that she has made me realise that the simple life i thought I would lead is NOT going to be so simple, because I SHOULD have gone my way, and walked away, but it not that simple. I found out that I would NOT want to do anything to hurt her, but I find that I can do nothing BUT hurt her, because I am NOT the man she would hope i would be. I will never, for example, accept those other terms and conditions she was on and on about. I may, out of consideration, let her... race... such as are not in my way, because come rain come thunder, I am headed for the US, with guns blazing, well, because of the crap life they have lived, I would just let them die... in peace, but that is the MOST I can do, I HAVE to kill them, and then try to find means to get AT God, fuck, what do you all think I was eyeing that jacob's ladder thing for;- I need maybe to get my hands on an angel, or the info, or something, and find out how THEY, who can not exist where there is NO water, manage to do the planet hopping stuff, and then follow up. I will not rest till I eyeball God face to face, and He kills me.
its that simple.
However, if MY solution is unacceptable- hey, BROTHER?- I am game to killing you outright. Your call. I will NEVER back down from that, fool. I SHOULD kill you anyway, but the look on her face when I showed up the other day, made me see just how much you mean to her, asshole, and i decided to get temporary amnesia, as far as you are concerned.
Dont push it. I will give you a war such as you have never seen, because push comes to shove, you are NOTHING to me, just an insect in my eyes, and bugs? bugs get squashed.
KNOW something, fools?, I have NOTHING to lose, because while you fools were busy telling me just what kind of idiot/vagrant/mischief-maker I am, i was getting to the basics of what I am capable of, and hell, I AM the LORD of this earth, and you can try to ignore it, or whatever you want, but come up against me, and I will SHOW you just what the fuck I mean by that, and so, let me put it this way, TRY me, and I will prove it.
babylon are ask
prince why your temper'
none of them can handle the judgement-a
me giddem 100%-a
the fire where are burn from epicentre
the whole are babylon army get runover
the mav. him are turn rambo-ya
them have fir give up
while them still live up
tell them the youth them cup full and it are run over
I am NOT interested in anyone's future, in anyone's well being. I have had a mission from day one, and that has been, You interfering Asshole, what the Fuck gives You the right to make me live when I do NOT want to?
I have lived as I do, because I do NOT want to live fools, its that simple.
i am, and have been, on a mission, and it STAYS that way, forever if possible.
that is what motivates me, those are MY gears of war.
I have lived as I do, because I do NOT want to live fools, its that simple.
i am, and have been, on a mission, and it STAYS that way, forever if possible.
that is what motivates me, those are MY gears of war.
now, you will have no excuse for any... assumptions... that there is any likelihood of friendship between me and God, or between me and any of you.
All I want, if that is in any way... likely... is the... apple of my eye.
Or, let me rephrase this in as succinct a way as possible, just so that you know your options;- I will not only KILL every motherfucking male and female among you, but i will SEND you all to hell.
Think about it, and then, if you want, you can get back at me. I think tomorrow i am coming to kalk bay, to just set the whole thing in as clear and final a way as possible. hmmm!
definitely I am coming.
day after is my birthday, and i want some... fireworks, some action, YEAH-SSS!
All I want, if that is in any way... likely... is the... apple of my eye.
Or, let me rephrase this in as succinct a way as possible, just so that you know your options;- I will not only KILL every motherfucking male and female among you, but i will SEND you all to hell.
Think about it, and then, if you want, you can get back at me. I think tomorrow i am coming to kalk bay, to just set the whole thing in as clear and final a way as possible. hmmm!
definitely I am coming.
