For a very, very, short time, though.Now, I have NO compulsion to bend to meet these fools' expectations, and as far as I am concerned, I TOLD them MY terms, and they laughed at them. Silly gallery woman actually thought I could be swayed, and came, parked her car in my face, thinking I would go all goo-ey, and I had to mentally run through what I said... wrote... yesterday, and I was rather... specific, right?
Stay the fuck out of my way, I have no ... interest... in any of you, I am worrying about whether i am being made a fool of, here, and she ignored that. And I looked at her car, and I wanted THEN to leave, pronounce judgement, but apparently she was watching, came rather shamefacedly and removed her car, and I was less offended. I am... thinking ... that it was not even about ME. But that red-breeches woman came, with an older woman, maybe HER mother, intent, again, on proving ME wrong in my conclusions -I am beginning to think merely TELLING the woman to go to hell is not enough, I have to SEND her to hell, in pieces- and when i went to buy some... bread... at the supermarket, she seized her chance to come out again, and had that woman in tow. (Conclusion, she was telling me that I am actually madly in love with HER, without MY knowing it, that is just how stupid I am, and that I should forget this other woman;- who, frankly, i gave up on long ago, I never believed she could be mine, and as far as I am concerned, she is irreplaceable, which means i am INSULTED that any woman could actually think she would do for me. Any such woman is, of course. already dead, even if she may not be aware of it. Like that blonde who was making her noisy self quite obnoxiously felt in my vicinity. Or the smart chick. or her friend. I will ... excuse... the lapse in judgement of that rich, hoarse raspy old woman with her... restaurant?... for the sake of my friend, but only THIS time. I do not take kindly to being rated as a kid, and I think it is time I showed just how deeply I can claw, yeah-sss.)A few seconds later, this gallery woman was in my face, intent on showing me where I should turn my stupid face. because, of course, i am so, so incapable of thinking straight I need HER to help me get things the right way. Like when the girl showed up with flowers, and talked to that guy, and SHE ran interference, meaning she was telling me, 'No need to get mad, you brought this on yourself, now if you just do not over-react you will see what exactly you ought to have done to make her happy, like flowers and stuff'. So, of course, I, basically just a mere gasp away from becoming fully self-empowered, MUST pay attention to the ravings of a person whose life i can blow away like, a feather? And am dead set on blowing away, too? Fuck, I want to SEE just who the fuck you all think you ARE to stand in my way? or pay lip service to me. Or treat me like i am sooo, sooo stupid that I can not even think on my own unless you do it for me.First thing, though, and I am again intent on the woman i was focusing on:- you have, again, made a fool of me. your child is dead. That i have decided is the ... least... thing I can do to make you aware of how mad I am, at you.
And i am being rather... quirky, here. It pleases me that your workmate, the short and dumpy one, showed so much of herself today. I will take her, I think, just to turn some of my anger away, and if by some chance you get to be near me for some reason, I want you to KNOW forever that you do NOT play games with the one who holds all the aces. I do not intend to kill you, yet. I intend to make you hurt so much you WILL bow down and come out in the open, yeah-ss. first, your child, whom I have never seen and never intend to. Then, those I HAVE seen you with. All the males and females. If that does not make you start to see the light, then I will zone in on your family, and start ripping them to shreds, painfully. Of course, every male you slept with, or who held you in his arms, is dead, and IF you are involved with someone NOW, then I, as I promised, will find that out, and I will KILL you myself, and trust me, way I am feeling, I will make it last a long, long, time> Take me a month or so, of making you scream as you have made me hurt
inside, you pathetic little bitch!
Course ...
and are no go make cue and we no do no stand up
you are go hear me gangster put your hands up
we nuh funny man no no
we nuh funny no no
co when we say we nuh funny that no mean we no have fun.
we love the girls
we no know of someone live and have none.
co when we born we been gallis ever since
we nuh jazzy jeff and we nuh fresh prince.
you are go hear me gangster put your hands up
we nuh funny man no no
we nuh funny no no
co when we say we nuh funny that no mean we no have fun.
we love the girls
we no know of someone live and have none.
co when we born we been gallis ever since
we nuh jazzy jeff and we nuh fresh prince.
Right, now that that is off my chest, I want you to get one thing right, all you fools out there. The ONLY thing I understand, is justice, payback, revenge. I do not have a sense of humour on whatever is done to me, and I never let a slight go unrevenged. I have been complimented on having a quick sense of humour, but anyone knows that humour always hides a sense of deep isolation. I was ready to kill off all jews because i was grasping that God was NOT putting ANY limits on me, that in a short time, when I am pissed off enough, and stopped feeling sorry for people, I will be fully myself, someone who exists for ONE thing, and that is payback. Full, lethal, pressed together, shaken and running over. And everyone, from the holy spirit down, to my parents, to all of you little insects that thought my vacillation hid something you could exploit, well, NOW I tell you MY time is at hand. But also, because God does have a soft spot, I will take into consideration how He bore with me, and gave me life when I should have been dead, and asked nothing in return, which means He asked for a lot. And i will do THAT. To the full. Which is why the jews will get to live and I will not carve away peoples unless they did something to either piss me off, or to piss me off. I am the judge. I am the
α and the ω the first an last word... on ANYTHING, from the time I assume full command, till my seven years are up. Get used to that
I have been wondering to myself just what kind of woman I would want for myself, since I am not going on any sabbatical,or sex denial here, and am definitely NOT going to gather many of them to myself, and since ONE is definitely too vexing, I have set my mind on a small number, yeah-ss. Five, would be good, I think,especially as that girl on the S/town-Cape town train who still, after so many months, looked at me like ... THAT. She was an easy choice, because she went, plainly, "is it me you want?' I liked that. And the other reason was an obnoxious married chick who was getting a kick out of me looking her over. then the blonde with that nice ass when ms I-know-it-all who cooled me down. And then the woman with the sad, bleak stare who knew when to stay out of my way, after michelle's friend showed me how low she thought I was.
OK, lets do... specifics.
HOW the fuck do I intend to do all these things, and not get caught, nor interrupted? You must all think I am suicidal, right?
of course, I am. But then, that does not come into the play here. What DOES matter is that I am reaching out, and I am technically completely in control already, but my ... brain... is telling me different, as of now.
thing is, first time God spoke to me, it took me three days to pt it into practice, and even then, 'try the falco effect' sounded like 'try the zelcro effect', because of course, God only speaks to special ones, not me, see? and there is some kind of big bang or something. Last night, I prayed to God, to stop the runaround, and to finally make me be 'myself'. I am actually surprised that i am being so... judgemental, here, because of course, only a fool would dare make someone he 'loves' cross, but then, I never said i was in her league. I am better, way better, and so, MY ways are not her ways, so she bows down to them or she dies, or rather, she suffers more. One thing i understand from people is ... submission. Step into my path, and regardless of who you are, you pay. those guys that later covered themselves by showing they had wives? too late for me. I was already cross, and there is NO taking that back. My anger is already aroused, so you MUST pay, because i never wash anything under the rugs. even if the woman submits to me, I will still make the other... participants pay. and i only know one way. because i am NOT interested in currying favour here. It is way past that time. Now, MY time, is all about addressing wrongs, and no one is above my law, and no one is my equal. if she can not bend, she will be broken, and that means, finally, i may have some other woman, from my short list, who will take her place. because NO ONE is above MY law. the other thing is, when you get right down to it, my ... interest... in people is superficial. cut beneath the surface and there is is rage. so, of anyone draws MY attention to herself, it is never a good thing unless she is prepared to humble herself, because what does not bend gets broken. Since i recognise no law but my own. if God had to be ... subtle... to get me to keep from unleashing my anger on all of you, then what does a silly fool whom is so wrapped up in her own importance mean to me when i can so easily tire of her?
I told you many times not to test me. frankly, I would welcome having you and you alone in my life if it came to that, but you chose, choose, all the time to make me angry by your games, and so, if you want to take THAT route, then stand and see me rip your world apart, and make you grieve like you never thought possible, yesssss!
α and the ω the first an last word... on ANYTHING, from the time I assume full command, till my seven years are up. Get used to that
I have been wondering to myself just what kind of woman I would want for myself, since I am not going on any sabbatical,or sex denial here, and am definitely NOT going to gather many of them to myself, and since ONE is definitely too vexing, I have set my mind on a small number, yeah-ss. Five, would be good, I think,especially as that girl on the S/town-Cape town train who still, after so many months, looked at me like ... THAT. She was an easy choice, because she went, plainly, "is it me you want?' I liked that. And the other reason was an obnoxious married chick who was getting a kick out of me looking her over. then the blonde with that nice ass when ms I-know-it-all who cooled me down. And then the woman with the sad, bleak stare who knew when to stay out of my way, after michelle's friend showed me how low she thought I was.
OK, lets do... specifics.
HOW the fuck do I intend to do all these things, and not get caught, nor interrupted? You must all think I am suicidal, right?
of course, I am. But then, that does not come into the play here. What DOES matter is that I am reaching out, and I am technically completely in control already, but my ... brain... is telling me different, as of now.
thing is, first time God spoke to me, it took me three days to pt it into practice, and even then, 'try the falco effect' sounded like 'try the zelcro effect', because of course, God only speaks to special ones, not me, see? and there is some kind of big bang or something. Last night, I prayed to God, to stop the runaround, and to finally make me be 'myself'. I am actually surprised that i am being so... judgemental, here, because of course, only a fool would dare make someone he 'loves' cross, but then, I never said i was in her league. I am better, way better, and so, MY ways are not her ways, so she bows down to them or she dies, or rather, she suffers more. One thing i understand from people is ... submission. Step into my path, and regardless of who you are, you pay. those guys that later covered themselves by showing they had wives? too late for me. I was already cross, and there is NO taking that back. My anger is already aroused, so you MUST pay, because i never wash anything under the rugs. even if the woman submits to me, I will still make the other... participants pay. and i only know one way. because i am NOT interested in currying favour here. It is way past that time. Now, MY time, is all about addressing wrongs, and no one is above my law, and no one is my equal. if she can not bend, she will be broken, and that means, finally, i may have some other woman, from my short list, who will take her place. because NO ONE is above MY law. the other thing is, when you get right down to it, my ... interest... in people is superficial. cut beneath the surface and there is is rage. so, of anyone draws MY attention to herself, it is never a good thing unless she is prepared to humble herself, because what does not bend gets broken. Since i recognise no law but my own. if God had to be ... subtle... to get me to keep from unleashing my anger on all of you, then what does a silly fool whom is so wrapped up in her own importance mean to me when i can so easily tire of her?
I told you many times not to test me. frankly, I would welcome having you and you alone in my life if it came to that, but you chose, choose, all the time to make me angry by your games, and so, if you want to take THAT route, then stand and see me rip your world apart, and make you grieve like you never thought possible, yesssss!
