Having lost my ... faith... in God, I suppose the only person I tend to listen to, after this horrible... betrayal... by God is vinnie, and I have discovered that most times what he HAS to say is worth listening to, especially about things I do not speak to him about. So, I pay attention to him, at present, as I used to, with God. He is having problems, his mother is ill, and there is the money issue, and the two brothers were supposed to help each other send money for her treatment, and so, it seemed that, a few moments ago, when I reluctantly went down again to the stall because earlier I had been so upset, wasnt thinking straight and took too few beads to finish the blasted shark, and so had to go down again, well, it seemed he was a bit put out with his younger brother's lassez faire approach to the problem. But he philosophically added that well, he is my brother, illuminating the whole thing with the following analogy, since I tease him about how he can never keep his ... vow... to not have me in his house, because of my bad rep:- "if I say I do not want you in my kitchen, and you are in the yard, shall i be angry with you and abandon you when you are not even irritating me?" Well, I have my eyes open but I walked into that one, especially as i saw HER walking, presumably on her way, to kalk bay habour house while i reluctantly came down. God still wont let me let her go, and I am becoming frustrated with all this. Ok, I love her and I can not change that, BUT overriding all that is my outlook as far as people are concerned. No One opposes me, mocks me, or supports the same, and gets away with it. Stay out of my kitchen, and you will live. I MAY spare her, but these people who involved themselves with MY business, the mike person, the chartfield person, ms short and dumpy, butthead ii, well, i have no soft feelings for them. Neither is her sister to be spared. They walked into my kitchen. No one goes into my kitchen. No one DEFIES me. I may spare those who remonstrated with me, Ok, like the frizzled hair woman,but hey, my thing is I do not, never have, never will accept it when someone deliberately decides to press buttons designed to put me in anger mode. Like it or not, no matter who, or what you are, if you confront me, then you are calling for a fight, and i NEVER back down, nor, once i make up my mind you are MY target, do I let you off, or accept surrender. Just as this will NOT end till the holy spirit is beneath my feet and totally crushed, dead, because he dared do that, and i have no respect for ANYONE or anything, and just as i will NEVER again call God a friend because of how He set me up, so will I never let THIS kalk bay issue go till I have had my way, and NOTHING, on earth or in heaven, no power nor bond, will STOP me.
So, the woman either throws in her lot totally with these people, like peaches, maybe, and give me a demo of lovebirds, with smooches and butt-grabbing or some such stuff, or she comes away from that, because I am really REALLY going to see this through to the end, bitter or sweet, yesssssss!!!!!
