There is this sudden... funniness... in everything that makes me wonder what people are high on. And all I wanted to do since last night was just sit down somewhere, sign QED and thus say that the woman I ... love... is dead, to me, and I am leaving. Because I got off the train, walked past la parada, saw mike, this other woman, who, just a few minutes ago parked her car in my face, got out with a little boy- I get the impression that she is telling me that it is HER I should be panting over,since she is presenting HER son- and walked, presumably, to the gallery. The lady in the red jeans, only not today. Anyway, I was blind to both of them;- they are dead anyway, but I could not help saying, "yes" when I saw HER on the other side of the counter, with some guy that i paid no heed to. Ergo, she IS dead, right? Iwent to vinnie's, but because of one thing or another, and a... strange ... reluctance, I found I did not want to write anything, and so I left, went to sleep, and now, I am seeing people like ms I-know-it-all show up, making me out to be too stupid to know my own mind, or something, as if I am this... baby ... or something. I have had to wade into the filth and muck of people's lives, and in the single-minded purpose of trying to prove God wrong, I encountered fools like these, who assume they know everything better than I do, and whenever they hear me say i am the final authority on anything, think they can pull the wool over my eyes. Of course, all such are dead, to SHOW just how uninterested I really am. Fuck, I have had to end up relying on the very visions that I called rubbish to be able to see beneath the surface of the lies people tell, thinking that when it comes to... intellect... they are better than me, or that just because i live and move as I do, then even my mind is backwards. No, last night I pronounced judgement on the woman, and then asked her to test me again. She did. Found her as I said earlier. That should make her dead, but I still can not do it. So, I,will delay further judgement, but ALL those I said, of hers, and in that place, are dead, well, they die, because i can not forget the humiliation she caused, and causes me by refusing to either obey me or totally reject me. Silly womabn always wants to stake her claim when she sees potential competition, a thing I have observed over and over again. But she ignores me totally when i focus on her. I am getting rather angrier by the moment. Because her continuous overlooking me and my very plain words, to STOP doing what angers me and come to heel or end up being crushed under by ME is a source of constant irritation. One of these days, so help me God, I will kill her. But, anyway, I heard this ... other... woman, last night, who pretended to be looking for her son but whose appeal for the said son was so obvious, especially as i, admittedly, overreacted to that son's ... words. Fine you can make your wine for your son. He lives. Dont know how vinnie would have liked it if I HAD gone through with that threat.
