I will not spak about anything else that happened in such a few hours, since 8am, but when i saw the CRV parked ... again... in that irritating spot, and she , and, after checking herself, got out,walked towards me, and greeted two guys-who, again,join the line up of the living dead- and ignored me totally, walked into the bakery,and tgen came out, heck, that,to me means she is DEAD. I was VERY specific about the things she does that irritate me, and I even SAID that what she, rating me as she does, thinks is the 'best' she can give me, is actuakly insulting to me, but NOOO, either this silly woman thinks I joke about stuff-and I AM going to kill people because I have no other option as far as having my own way is concerned - or the stupid hussy can not process anything that does not have to do with stroking her ego. I am beginning to see the incomparable value of the "ten million dollars";- women who, without me even looking their way, did everything THEY could to stroke MY ego. They areeach much closer to my heart as things stand than she is, and I am seeing even the other ten as being way better. They knew when NOT to cross the line, even though they were slower. On the initial uptake.... Which reminds me, I spent the night going over what I had seen, read and done, and found that I would be lying if I said one woman coukd satisfy me, and an incident that occured earlier came to mind, about how the swimmer woman had her ... other... daughterwith some friends, placed conveniently where I stood, and she made it a point, twice to greet her mother by callingher mom, in case i did not hear her the first time. And then the elder one showed up, and joined the group. Now,in Shona we say"Dzawira mutswanda hadzinetsi kuorera", a harvest time thing -fuck, get some Shona guy ti explain -and I was just thinking that if the ... mother... was looking for a surrogate ... father, then that means a total separation fromthe father, otherwise the kids' loyalties would be too compromised for her to... pull the stunt of introducing her offspring to me... off. So, she MUST be free. The c.a. chick can NOT be a mother, but if the swimmer woman IS the one on that rock, noah's ark, then she is not "seeing" the guy, as I initially assumed, but if you play on the word "pro-vide" then the guy is the provider, since videre is the root for "see" in the latin. But, then if THAT is the case, and I do NOT want to be a step-father, then I will be the OTHER thing, meaning I will take mother, and daughters for myself, they are grown up enough, as well as shy sarah, and then I will go back, take for myself tge three overseas as initially planned, and I woukd have liked to make it 28 but I suppose I will keep it at 27 for life, since the c.a. chick is so very annoying I will probably end up killing her.
