I sort of expected something... BAD... today in the only area I am worried about, but I was rather surprised to find that the woman had made some... concession.
But, though I found myself rather taken in by her rather unusual way of telling me that I should bear in mind that I DO love her, I still have to ... refuse... your terms, woman.
the sticking point remains the same.
I KNOW where I am coming from, and for me, NOTHING is ever sorted until and unless what came first is dealt with, and despite my efforts to let you see just how impossible it is for me to deviate from my chosen path- and I AM going to kill off everyone on this planet- you still can not seem to grasp the fact that there is a boundary line not you, nor anyone can cross.
You are someone I love, and I do love you in a hopeless but 100% undeviating way, and even now I can not quite make up my mind to walk away, BUT, you have NO business suggesting a variant to my path.
I told you what I am going to do. You can not accept that, well, then back off, because I am going to do it with or without your consent. I do NOT expect anyone's approval for anything I do, I really do NOT care for that, from you or anyone, but at least, if you do not agree with me, agree with this, that, when it comes to MY right, either take it up with God that He may intercede for you and your people, or just leave me be, because, as I said, what I am about to do is NOT up for negotiation. It will happen, simple as that.
So, you choose which way you go, and stop dancing in the middle, expecting to act as mediator. Your people, mike, the fellow office workers, all of them, are DEAD, and while you may NOT like it, it is STILL going to happen.
I do not plan on changing anything there.
That is the "landmark" I have set, the "hoko"
But, though I found myself rather taken in by her rather unusual way of telling me that I should bear in mind that I DO love her, I still have to ... refuse... your terms, woman.
the sticking point remains the same.
I KNOW where I am coming from, and for me, NOTHING is ever sorted until and unless what came first is dealt with, and despite my efforts to let you see just how impossible it is for me to deviate from my chosen path- and I AM going to kill off everyone on this planet- you still can not seem to grasp the fact that there is a boundary line not you, nor anyone can cross.
You are someone I love, and I do love you in a hopeless but 100% undeviating way, and even now I can not quite make up my mind to walk away, BUT, you have NO business suggesting a variant to my path.
I told you what I am going to do. You can not accept that, well, then back off, because I am going to do it with or without your consent. I do NOT expect anyone's approval for anything I do, I really do NOT care for that, from you or anyone, but at least, if you do not agree with me, agree with this, that, when it comes to MY right, either take it up with God that He may intercede for you and your people, or just leave me be, because, as I said, what I am about to do is NOT up for negotiation. It will happen, simple as that.
So, you choose which way you go, and stop dancing in the middle, expecting to act as mediator. Your people, mike, the fellow office workers, all of them, are DEAD, and while you may NOT like it, it is STILL going to happen.
I do not plan on changing anything there.
That is the "landmark" I have set, the "hoko"
the war has already begun
and the 'hoko' has already been pegged
because of the blood that has already been spilled
NO ONE is allowed to ever temper with the 'hoko'
siya iripo
(leave it be)
hoko yarohwa kare
(the peg that has been set)
They say that the first cut is the deepest, and well, few cuts run as deep as mine went, and so, the plain and simple truth is this, my mother tried to kill me. That shaped me. I did not die, but every breath I draw i can NOT forget that I am alive when I should by rights be dead, and the reason is one of the most stupid ones that I have ever had to bear, the reason why i was supposed to die.
So, do not be surprised if I do not take kindly to female subterfuge, because I HATE anyone hiding in the shadows and trying to force others to do as she wishes just so that she can have it easy.
So, do not be surprised if I do not take kindly to female subterfuge, because I HATE anyone hiding in the shadows and trying to force others to do as she wishes just so that she can have it easy.
I have NO tolerance for females, and MY outlook is always that every woman should REAP what she sows, so, if you, lovely and swaying your ass as you did this morning to try and put me in my place by trying to avoid outright capitulation to my demands while not offending me, think I will settle for middle ground, than you really need to ask yourself whether you have tinted glasses on your mental faculties as well as the ones you wore to avoid showing those lovely eyes of yours to me this morning.
So, I am the ONE person on whom female charms do NOT work, and you are either going to have to shoulder your burden and face your responsibility my love, or, you will find that your choice is made for you, because you will not make it yourself.
i am going home, to face my mother, to tell her I am going to kill her, for what she tried to do, and all that, and I have already stated my travel plan, and well, I am going to see that through, with or without you.
i am going home, to face my mother, to tell her I am going to kill her, for what she tried to do, and all that, and I have already stated my travel plan, and well, I am going to see that through, with or without you.
You see, you and all these stupid females that view me based on the blogpot make the same mistake that I have repeatedly stated you all make, which is, you take what God said to me, showed me, and Him knowing how I think and work and how I weigh things up, and of course you reach your own conclusions about what all that is to mean, and then try to force them on me, like you know better. Well, you do not. Because MY conclusions are what have value, because what you all fail to grasp about ME is that I ... BASICALLY... hate people, and allow NO ONE liberties, ever. There is always a line that no one gets to cross, a demarcation that I do not allow anyone to be over-familiar with me over, and so, when I look at the possible outcomes of everything that God says, I am forced to dig deep into my heart to find out what I would really want, if I cared about things. And as I decide, so shall it be.
So, when a silly woman like red-breeches, after me stating that I hate her (now how the fuck does an unattractive woman get it into her twisted little befuddled mind that I, a person who in the flesh is BIG, BAD, MEAN, think she can handle ME when i say that I hate her and will kill her?) decides to STILL first try to park her car where I can see her and then try walk right by me, and sees me glare at her, and then decides to go park on the loading zone in the main road, and thus, maybe tell me what I am supposed to do, hell, I have every right to tell mouth "fuck you" to her as she looks at me, and also spit on her car, pour water over i, and drink and dare her or anyone to push me some more, because I am in a killing mood. Only thing I did not do was piss on it, although I was tempted.
So, when a silly woman like red-breeches, after me stating that I hate her (now how the fuck does an unattractive woman get it into her twisted little befuddled mind that I, a person who in the flesh is BIG, BAD, MEAN, think she can handle ME when i say that I hate her and will kill her?) decides to STILL first try to park her car where I can see her and then try walk right by me, and sees me glare at her, and then decides to go park on the loading zone in the main road, and thus, maybe tell me what I am supposed to do, hell, I have every right to tell mouth "fuck you" to her as she looks at me, and also spit on her car, pour water over i, and drink and dare her or anyone to push me some more, because I am in a killing mood. Only thing I did not do was piss on it, although I was tempted.
Actually, NOW the committee or whatever has got a case against me, and I am sure it was all caught on camera. Think I will show up in kalk bay tomorrow, and dare anyone to do anything about it.
And then I will wipe out the whole lot of you like flies, as you see for yourselves that NONE of you can restrain me, when i have a mind to do as I will.
how does the song go:-?
gun fan dangle
too hot to handle
badman nor bawl in a policeman bunker
gun fan dangle
too hot fir handle
blow away your life like fire pon candle
never yet humble
always an eagle
hype up on the Gods like him are seek title
no respect people
him deal with evil
stretch high in the air are the wings of the eagle
no tell him about church
him no deal with bible
badness you know the boy him are recycle
badness you know the boy him are recycle
if a tall-up
him taller than the eiffel
if we cant bullet up
then we knife you
...
you cant dis bad man
who grew you
you little fool you
nincompoop you
if we cant bullet up
then we knife you
...
you cant dis bad man
who grew you
you little fool you
nincompoop you
Anyway, THIS is what happened. I was sort of thinking, as i woke up and started out for kalk bay, that maybe, the woman had, in her usual style, seized on the statement where i said that i was suddenly very tired, and she probably would think, "fine, God has changed him, now I can work on him", because you see, I have gotten into her mind, she thinks she REALLY has a ... duty... to look after me and harness me into the way she wants, but I thought, fuck that, i like seeing things as they are, I am going.Silently.
Got there, the weather behaved and I let out nothing of what I was thinking, and as soon as I was with abisha, i wanted to wet my hair, because I can only stand so much heat, and i did NOT even look at the office windows, I just went to the toilet and soaked my head, and came out, and... the apple of my eye was out soon after.
I just saw her walking up the alley to the olympia bakery, noted the ... hated black... those not-so-clingy pants and high heels, of course, and that one-arm top of hers, and i got the message; -this is as far as I will go, BUT you have to accept MY terms and conditions, if you want any of this.
She went in, and came out, and she had made a point of having just one cup of coffee in her hand, and then, shades in eyes, so maybe I could not see her fear -like I could actually harm her, unless she is NOT a virgin, because then, well, I will KILL her, and not think twice about it, I mean, aside from that, this woman with her not-so-hidden [duh, red-breeches, THAT is what mini-skirt means] ... eh... 'feelings' towards me has made me so... happy in a bizarre way that i find myself falling for her time after time- she almost gave me an erection as she walked past and swayed that ass of hers straight into the office. I mean, i knew she was attractive before, but I never actually KNEW she was attractive. She really hit me between the eyes with it this time. Even as I waved good-bye at the camera,- because, of course, is she is WITH those people, then I will still be jealous and will still kill them, and her, than suffer NOT knowing what she is up to, and, eh, I will still kill them fools anyway for what happened, no two ways about that...-my mind was like, "I REALLY want this woman, hmmmm!" I just wanted her around before, but this time, there was more than a liberal sprinkling of lust as well. Well, a whole... LOT .. of lust, if I may say so, and I do.
but there is this song that came to mind just a while ago, I will look for it:- Time After Time;
She went in, and came out, and she had made a point of having just one cup of coffee in her hand, and then, shades in eyes, so maybe I could not see her fear -like I could actually harm her, unless she is NOT a virgin, because then, well, I will KILL her, and not think twice about it, I mean, aside from that, this woman with her not-so-hidden [duh, red-breeches, THAT is what mini-skirt means] ... eh... 'feelings' towards me has made me so... happy in a bizarre way that i find myself falling for her time after time- she almost gave me an erection as she walked past and swayed that ass of hers straight into the office. I mean, i knew she was attractive before, but I never actually KNEW she was attractive. She really hit me between the eyes with it this time. Even as I waved good-bye at the camera,- because, of course, is she is WITH those people, then I will still be jealous and will still kill them, and her, than suffer NOT knowing what she is up to, and, eh, I will still kill them fools anyway for what happened, no two ways about that...-my mind was like, "I REALLY want this woman, hmmmm!" I just wanted her around before, but this time, there was more than a liberal sprinkling of lust as well. Well, a whole... LOT .. of lust, if I may say so, and I do.
but there is this song that came to mind just a while ago, I will look for it:- Time After Time;
if you lost
you can look
and you will find me
time after time
if you fall
I will catch you
i'll be waiting
time after time
Anyway, I was left feeling ridiculously happy, and I had to suppress it to just carry on with life. It was NOT hard, because the gallery woman, maybe thinking I was now softened up, decided to come and park her car near where red-breeches eventually parked hers, and I was suddenly... MAD.
I mean, for me, it is simple. I SAID I am NOT gong to have mercy on them fools, any of them that crossed me, and that they should not even bother to come anywhere near me because they will get NO concessions from me, and she still bothered to remind me of her... existence, with all the snubbing I got at her hands, from her shielding mike like she or ANYONE has any say over who i do or do NOT kill, to her shoving 'catherine' into my path, and standing in for them coloured fools. So, I, ignoring the office, went and stood across the road and watched the gallery, and pointedly glanced from it to the offensive bakkie that was making my day bad.
then i went and sat down, and had my back to the car, and when i looked again, it was gone.
maybe red breeches thought she was made of sterner stuff, because she did not drive hers away, and well, I was thinking of, after everything had failed, tying my shoes on its bonnet when first the obnoxious guard and then goatface decided to disturb my peace, and i thought, you know what, fuck this ambivalence, i am gone. She obviously said her piece this morning, and anyway, i had later seen her, slouching in her chair upstairs, with headphones as she did the other day, and i thought to myself, hell, this is NEVER going to work out.
So, I came early.Earlish.
And do not have a clue what to do with myself now.
I mean, for me, it is simple. I SAID I am NOT gong to have mercy on them fools, any of them that crossed me, and that they should not even bother to come anywhere near me because they will get NO concessions from me, and she still bothered to remind me of her... existence, with all the snubbing I got at her hands, from her shielding mike like she or ANYONE has any say over who i do or do NOT kill, to her shoving 'catherine' into my path, and standing in for them coloured fools. So, I, ignoring the office, went and stood across the road and watched the gallery, and pointedly glanced from it to the offensive bakkie that was making my day bad.
then i went and sat down, and had my back to the car, and when i looked again, it was gone.
maybe red breeches thought she was made of sterner stuff, because she did not drive hers away, and well, I was thinking of, after everything had failed, tying my shoes on its bonnet when first the obnoxious guard and then goatface decided to disturb my peace, and i thought, you know what, fuck this ambivalence, i am gone. She obviously said her piece this morning, and anyway, i had later seen her, slouching in her chair upstairs, with headphones as she did the other day, and i thought to myself, hell, this is NEVER going to work out.
So, I came early.Earlish.
And do not have a clue what to do with myself now.
because I can not do as she wishes, that can not be, but I find myself not having the ooomph to want to leave.
Maybe I SHOULD look for trouble. That way, not even I get to decide.
i mean, come on, people, I JUST speak, how much of a simpleton I am is known to you all. Come on, put my lies to the test, where are your guts. I am coming over there, and wil probably pick a fight with the first idiot that pisses me off, male or female, and you can all pounce on me. I am ... JUST... human, right?
I mean, RIGHT?
i mean, come on, people, I JUST speak, how much of a simpleton I am is known to you all. Come on, put my lies to the test, where are your guts. I am coming over there, and wil probably pick a fight with the first idiot that pisses me off, male or female, and you can all pounce on me. I am ... JUST... human, right?
I mean, RIGHT?
keep playing with that role
then you gon know the night, you laying in that hole...
I mean, tony, you looked a bit off colour today, whasamadder? cat got your tongue? couldn't even joke and stay and sit and tell all who can hear how zimbabweans are crooks?
Shame, are you feeling off colour? Is something walking over your grave? Maybe> Are you thinking of your mortality? Shame, dont, it is all just a hallucination. After all, it is a well known fact that when a person is in the last stokes of hiv-aids, his brain goes, and he starts seeing things that are not there, goes mad and talks to God. Well known fact, that!
Shame, are you feeling off colour? Is something walking over your grave? Maybe> Are you thinking of your mortality? Shame, dont, it is all just a hallucination. After all, it is a well known fact that when a person is in the last stokes of hiv-aids, his brain goes, and he starts seeing things that are not there, goes mad and talks to God. Well known fact, that!
Like this
I mean, see the resemblance with me? I mean, what else can anyone say. Of course, I can not even walk, do not even have any strength, and I am dying as I walk, right? I can not even punch walls, can not even bite metal with my teeth, my brain imagines things that are not there, like any typical get-rich-quick rasta schemer who wants to bed a sexy white woman would, yes? I mean, how can anyone like THAT fall for someone like... me?
i am just jealous of everyone's wealth, right?
I mean, see the resemblance with me? I mean, what else can anyone say. Of course, I can not even walk, do not even have any strength, and I am dying as I walk, right? I can not even punch walls, can not even bite metal with my teeth, my brain imagines things that are not there, like any typical get-rich-quick rasta schemer who wants to bed a sexy white woman would, yes? I mean, how can anyone like THAT fall for someone like... me?
i am just jealous of everyone's wealth, right?
