I suppose it is partly MY fault why I do NOT seem to get through. It is actually because I ... seem... to want to get through when in effect, everything about me rebels at the very notion.
which is why this... Invisible Man... is coming out in the open.
by the end of this post, if i have NOT shown the "source of the cloud that does not bear water", nor shown the reason why I do things the way I do them, "Government Thor:- Cape Flats", and also, most relevantly, why I am going to kill everyone alive NOW irrespective of who it is, then i would have failed.
because, of course, I am NOT in this business to help anyone.
not at all.
I am on a ... different mission altogether.
Now, look at it this way, I am a person who KNOWS that I am smart, that I am capable of piecing things together, and have a brain that is unlike any other i have encountered, and my mother, well, she wishes I was dead, but she can not deny the fact that I could be of use to her, so she ... labours... to make sure that I get an education so that, in her own words, "I can look after her" i decide, however, to get educated and then, when i HAVE to look after her, I may as well... die.
Around that "I-think-I-may-as-well die" time, God, the Almighty God shows up, and says absolutely nothing, but just seems to ... like... me. Like He has got the One thing He has been longing for ever since.
Me, I do not believe that, and so, I ask Him what He wants from me. He replies that I should just be ... me... like, He is cool with me just ... being.
later He tells me, when I try to join church -eh, by the way, I had a very disagreeable morning, and STILL that asshole of a pastor of vinnie's thinks that I may be liable to change, as do butthead ii and some, seemingly, jews. isaid you are dead, and THAT will NOT change, whether you hope different or not- " I have claimed you for Myself", like, again, when you get the sense as i am just now, He just wants me FOR Himself, He does NOT want anything from me. He takes ... pleasure ... in me, as me.
which is why He did not let me die.
but i am thinking, OK, God is not blind, surely He expects something from me. there are the ... jews... for instance, His people, and well, i am like, NOT even white. I am black, and all that the racial inferiority infers. I mean God did say, "Can a black man change his skin", and the implied slur there has had me on my guard ever since, and so, i am thinking that anyway, He wants something from me, and when He does say, "My yoke is easy, and My burden is light... and my yoke is as academic to the fish" the ... obvious... conclusion would be that well, He wants me to teach people. Why, so that they can return to Him. Specifically, His people.But then, He does not SAY what HIS yoke is, He points out what my... chosen... burden, one that I MYSELF will take up, IS, which is to tell people things that are of NO use to them. of 'academic; interest, because i would rather have a person that is interested in ... ME... not in what use I may be to that person.
Which is why I refused to give in to the ... wants... of that woman. because anything else is an insult, and which is why I have conceded that this is ONE thing I would do, if she showed her hand, because here i am in the uncomfortable situation of having to say that God is wrong, that my own heart is ... wrong... and that what i 'see' with my own eyes is ... wrong, or that, well, the woman is a liar.
so, she is a liar. A pretender, and i will smoke her out. I AM going to kill the jews, all of them, and everyone that she has tried to shield from me, or has tried to intercede for her, because I do NOT like having double agendas on my plate. This is NOT a negotiation, it is NOT a joke, because ONE thing i can not stand is being ... necessary... for something. I just want, ever, always, to be wanted for ... being.
Like I would like her with me.
And i MUST say here that, well, at the end of these coming years, i will have achieved my goal, of showing you all that i choose to remain alive the things that will just... kill ... you, because I have long ago decided that NONE of you all deserve to live. And I will show why that is so, and that knowledge will destroy you.
i wanted to kill my mother, but the indecision of not knowing just WHAT would happen to her after she died was what stayed my hand. Right now, all of you are going on, living your lives with the thought of immortality and perpetuity strong in your minds. i will show you just WHAT you are, and when you do see, you will become nothing but dust. No soul, nor recollection, no... knowing anything.
And that is reserved for people that I am NOT angry with, at the moment.
Now, is I am mad at you, and have decided you die NOW, then, of course, that means you have an eternity burning in hell. And i would love to gloat over you, continuously.
as you die forever.
i have demanded what i want from God, Absoulte Power over everything, over the earth, and all in it, because of the fact that i can NOT stand still anymore and just watch as things happen, as fools think that i go to bed one person and wake up different. So, both ON this earth and under it, i will have power to do exactly as i please, to whosever I please, because what I open, no one can shut, what i shut NO ONE can open, and I have decided that i am going to KILL off every living thing, on this planet, and make MY habitat... a clean one.
No one will see 2021, except me.
And i am beginning to lose hope over even that woman, because this morning... !
fuck, I am getting pissed off here!
This is the thing, Ok; God decided o show me that I was basically... as shown by my active interest in ... handling myself ... excessive that, that i was longing for someone, someone to love me, and well, you do not actually have to be on a mission to love someone, you just have to be available, for that person, and well, i doubt a lot of things, and wondered if I could ever find anyone that i would actually want for myself. I found her. through a maze of confusion i discovered to my own deep, ever constant surprise, that I actually wanted that woman with me, and was doubtful that she could be a person that would NOT make me unhappy with time, like, she was already 'taken' as she indicated first time she caught my eye.
then she started her jealous coming-outs, like with the inkfish woman and with everyone else that I seemed to catch my eye on, and then, she drew back when I turned my ... anger... on her, because i WAS getting mixed signals.
And she made the mistake of trying to correct me, giving me terms and conditions. I can NOT abide by ANYONE's terms and conditions. because if you say, admit it that yu love me, I would repond, what about you, how do you feel about ME?
And so, that is where I am at.
And I need an answer.
because it has to be me, all or nothing!
no two ways about it!
which is why this... Invisible Man... is coming out in the open.
by the end of this post, if i have NOT shown the "source of the cloud that does not bear water", nor shown the reason why I do things the way I do them, "Government Thor:- Cape Flats", and also, most relevantly, why I am going to kill everyone alive NOW irrespective of who it is, then i would have failed.
because, of course, I am NOT in this business to help anyone.
not at all.
I am on a ... different mission altogether.
Around that "I-think-I-may-as-well die" time, God, the Almighty God shows up, and says absolutely nothing, but just seems to ... like... me. Like He has got the One thing He has been longing for ever since.
Me, I do not believe that, and so, I ask Him what He wants from me. He replies that I should just be ... me... like, He is cool with me just ... being.
later He tells me, when I try to join church -eh, by the way, I had a very disagreeable morning, and STILL that asshole of a pastor of vinnie's thinks that I may be liable to change, as do butthead ii and some, seemingly, jews. isaid you are dead, and THAT will NOT change, whether you hope different or not- " I have claimed you for Myself", like, again, when you get the sense as i am just now, He just wants me FOR Himself, He does NOT want anything from me. He takes ... pleasure ... in me, as me.
which is why He did not let me die.
but i am thinking, OK, God is not blind, surely He expects something from me. there are the ... jews... for instance, His people, and well, i am like, NOT even white. I am black, and all that the racial inferiority infers. I mean God did say, "Can a black man change his skin", and the implied slur there has had me on my guard ever since, and so, i am thinking that anyway, He wants something from me, and when He does say, "My yoke is easy, and My burden is light... and my yoke is as academic to the fish" the ... obvious... conclusion would be that well, He wants me to teach people. Why, so that they can return to Him. Specifically, His people.But then, He does not SAY what HIS yoke is, He points out what my... chosen... burden, one that I MYSELF will take up, IS, which is to tell people things that are of NO use to them. of 'academic; interest, because i would rather have a person that is interested in ... ME... not in what use I may be to that person.
Which is why I refused to give in to the ... wants... of that woman. because anything else is an insult, and which is why I have conceded that this is ONE thing I would do, if she showed her hand, because here i am in the uncomfortable situation of having to say that God is wrong, that my own heart is ... wrong... and that what i 'see' with my own eyes is ... wrong, or that, well, the woman is a liar.
so, she is a liar. A pretender, and i will smoke her out. I AM going to kill the jews, all of them, and everyone that she has tried to shield from me, or has tried to intercede for her, because I do NOT like having double agendas on my plate. This is NOT a negotiation, it is NOT a joke, because ONE thing i can not stand is being ... necessary... for something. I just want, ever, always, to be wanted for ... being.
Like I would like her with me.
And i MUST say here that, well, at the end of these coming years, i will have achieved my goal, of showing you all that i choose to remain alive the things that will just... kill ... you, because I have long ago decided that NONE of you all deserve to live. And I will show why that is so, and that knowledge will destroy you.
i wanted to kill my mother, but the indecision of not knowing just WHAT would happen to her after she died was what stayed my hand. Right now, all of you are going on, living your lives with the thought of immortality and perpetuity strong in your minds. i will show you just WHAT you are, and when you do see, you will become nothing but dust. No soul, nor recollection, no... knowing anything.
And that is reserved for people that I am NOT angry with, at the moment.
Now, is I am mad at you, and have decided you die NOW, then, of course, that means you have an eternity burning in hell. And i would love to gloat over you, continuously.
as you die forever.
i have demanded what i want from God, Absoulte Power over everything, over the earth, and all in it, because of the fact that i can NOT stand still anymore and just watch as things happen, as fools think that i go to bed one person and wake up different. So, both ON this earth and under it, i will have power to do exactly as i please, to whosever I please, because what I open, no one can shut, what i shut NO ONE can open, and I have decided that i am going to KILL off every living thing, on this planet, and make MY habitat... a clean one.
No one will see 2021, except me.
And i am beginning to lose hope over even that woman, because this morning... !
fuck, I am getting pissed off here!
then she started her jealous coming-outs, like with the inkfish woman and with everyone else that I seemed to catch my eye on, and then, she drew back when I turned my ... anger... on her, because i WAS getting mixed signals.
And she made the mistake of trying to correct me, giving me terms and conditions. I can NOT abide by ANYONE's terms and conditions. because if you say, admit it that yu love me, I would repond, what about you, how do you feel about ME?
And so, that is where I am at.
And I need an answer.
because it has to be me, all or nothing!
no two ways about it!
