everybody are online
its about time
everybody are on line...
alright put it down fine...
let me teach them one more time...
I am not one for 'dates' but when a thing suits the season and the time, well, I would be the last person not to connect the dots, and well, i suppose it is time to just say it like it is and WHY it is like it is.
i have, technically, prepared myself and packed whatever is necessary for my departure, and the thing is, all I need is that which I have not stated as the driving force, and that is what i am stating now.
Now, let me put it this way. God showed up in my life, and I did NOT ask for Him to come into my life, and that meant that either He wanted something from me or He wanted NOTHING from me. So, I was caught between the two, especially more so when I realised that He had never just come and just said 'hi' to anyone like He did to me. He was always all business, and spoke His mind
In short, I grew... uncertain, and more so when He then went on, after a while to show me the vision that I can say was the most defining one of my life, to date, the 'he was not, for God took him", one, where i was shown in a sort of theatre stage, and I was shaking not just my body but my head, at the end of the stage, with my back against a wall and people gathered, looking at me, on stage (alright, on-line, I mean, I can not resist, what with 'elephant' man) and then a light burst forth from me as I danced my weird dance and with a drum-beat, single boom, I ... disappeared... and then, afterwards i was looking at myself standing in the audience with some person seated beside me, and I was saying, 'he was not, for God took him', and while i was still busy looking at the vision, i sort of stopped dreaming and was asking myself, 'and where the fuck does He want me to go TO?", and the whole thing cut off, and i woke, and i was VERY upset. So, God 1) comes into my life, unannounced, and THEN 2) He decides that I am not suitable to dwell on this planet so I MUST be sent elsewhere when put in a corner so that I do not trouble people, like I am too much to handle, so why the fuck did He bother with me anyway, and 3) Who the fuck is He to plan my END? So He does have some plan for me? It is NOT me that He wants, but something else, yes? And this is a reward for some service that I MUST do so that He can remain with His people after He has used me to stir them up?
So, in short, I decided that,
1)God must be MINE, alone, or fuck that, I will not have anything to do with HIM
2)I will NOT turn my back on this planet and leave it for anyone else
3) I will NOT serve Him to bring people to Him. NEVER.
Thus was born the firstborn who rules, and now, well, you know, and well, I have been fighting to have THIS thing, this decision come to reality. Now, you know that I am just a jealous guy, and well, when people decided that it was too much for them to see me go the way that they did not want, I snapped, and when the woman I love saw that i was telling her that I wanted nothing to do with her ... in her life... and that all she would be left with was having ... sex... with me, she, because she is so much ... better... than me, decided to stage that demonstration, and, like any woman scorned, she was ready to throw everything away. But hell, NO ONE is going to force me to buckle down and turn from the resolve i made, the resolve that started defining me when I encountered God.
So, yesterday, after my post, I did not even bother trying to find out whether anyone was paying attention, I actually had a bust-up with brian after he had come back empty handed, or so he said, because i assume that he, like vinnie, assume that i am just having a temper tantrum and will not really LEAVE, and I had told him that, since the landlord has been, or operates on a flexible rent-paying schedule, where one does not have to pay rent at the beginning of the month but must have paid it all by the end of the month, and I had given brian some pieces so that i finish the balance before the last day of the month so that i can then be free to go with nothing owing, and i am DEAD set on that, and he then said that i should go to kalk bay and see vinnie, maybe i could get some money, well, I , for the first time ever, let him see the other side of the normally soft person he has seen to date, and well, i am thinking that he will pay the remainder of my money and then I am going.
because the 1st of the month, I intend to be roaming.
How? Well, same way i have always operated. I just WALK out, and well, God did remind me of something that I had stopped paying attention to since i have been rooted to the spot, "when a man's ways please the LORD, He makes even His enemies to be at peace with Him".
Not his sitting, but his 'ways'. I believe in not standing for what i believe in, but in MOVING for what I want, and so, I am eager to ... move, because God only shows how He stands by His word if I put Him to the test, and I am NOT interested in NOT putting Him to the test, to see just where He is, and what He wants from me. Is it ME He wants or something from me.
Guess that is what defines even my outlook as far as this woman is concerned. hell, I am as prepared to jettison her in a heartbeat if it turns out that she wants me to bow down to her or to live some kind of lie that is at odds with how i view life. NO way. So, I am NOT going to sit around and wait for her to start telling me just what kind of asshole I am and what i will be missing on.
heck, far as I stand now, I am going to leave her alive, but the rest of them, ah, well, let us say that they have never seen a fury like the one that is about to be unleashed now, because God deliberately made me decide that this WORLD is mine, and I will KEEP it, since what comes before the 'he was not, for God took him' is after 'after he had lived 65 years, enoch walked with God 300 years...', and so, I am either going to have to WALK or not have God to be 'pleased' with me. I have sat down too long. the maverick is moving out, and i am putting my neck on the block and doing what I believe in.
And anyone else's opinion really does not matter, not in changing my decision, because "its about time, shizzle mannizle/ everybody are on-line..."
poison dem mind
harden them ears
see say that the whole are dem are cursed
babylon poison dem mind...
me tell them to change them ways
straight forward
i have, technically, prepared myself and packed whatever is necessary for my departure, and the thing is, all I need is that which I have not stated as the driving force, and that is what i am stating now.
Now, let me put it this way. God showed up in my life, and I did NOT ask for Him to come into my life, and that meant that either He wanted something from me or He wanted NOTHING from me. So, I was caught between the two, especially more so when I realised that He had never just come and just said 'hi' to anyone like He did to me. He was always all business, and spoke His mind
In short, I grew... uncertain, and more so when He then went on, after a while to show me the vision that I can say was the most defining one of my life, to date, the 'he was not, for God took him", one, where i was shown in a sort of theatre stage, and I was shaking not just my body but my head, at the end of the stage, with my back against a wall and people gathered, looking at me, on stage (alright, on-line, I mean, I can not resist, what with 'elephant' man) and then a light burst forth from me as I danced my weird dance and with a drum-beat, single boom, I ... disappeared... and then, afterwards i was looking at myself standing in the audience with some person seated beside me, and I was saying, 'he was not, for God took him', and while i was still busy looking at the vision, i sort of stopped dreaming and was asking myself, 'and where the fuck does He want me to go TO?", and the whole thing cut off, and i woke, and i was VERY upset. So, God 1) comes into my life, unannounced, and THEN 2) He decides that I am not suitable to dwell on this planet so I MUST be sent elsewhere when put in a corner so that I do not trouble people, like I am too much to handle, so why the fuck did He bother with me anyway, and 3) Who the fuck is He to plan my END? So He does have some plan for me? It is NOT me that He wants, but something else, yes? And this is a reward for some service that I MUST do so that He can remain with His people after He has used me to stir them up?
So, in short, I decided that,
1)God must be MINE, alone, or fuck that, I will not have anything to do with HIM
2)I will NOT turn my back on this planet and leave it for anyone else
Thus was born the firstborn who rules, and now, well, you know, and well, I have been fighting to have THIS thing, this decision come to reality. Now, you know that I am just a jealous guy, and well, when people decided that it was too much for them to see me go the way that they did not want, I snapped, and when the woman I love saw that i was telling her that I wanted nothing to do with her ... in her life... and that all she would be left with was having ... sex... with me, she, because she is so much ... better... than me, decided to stage that demonstration, and, like any woman scorned, she was ready to throw everything away. But hell, NO ONE is going to force me to buckle down and turn from the resolve i made, the resolve that started defining me when I encountered God.
So, yesterday, after my post, I did not even bother trying to find out whether anyone was paying attention, I actually had a bust-up with brian after he had come back empty handed, or so he said, because i assume that he, like vinnie, assume that i am just having a temper tantrum and will not really LEAVE, and I had told him that, since the landlord has been, or operates on a flexible rent-paying schedule, where one does not have to pay rent at the beginning of the month but must have paid it all by the end of the month, and I had given brian some pieces so that i finish the balance before the last day of the month so that i can then be free to go with nothing owing, and i am DEAD set on that, and he then said that i should go to kalk bay and see vinnie, maybe i could get some money, well, I , for the first time ever, let him see the other side of the normally soft person he has seen to date, and well, i am thinking that he will pay the remainder of my money and then I am going.
because the 1st of the month, I intend to be roaming.
How? Well, same way i have always operated. I just WALK out, and well, God did remind me of something that I had stopped paying attention to since i have been rooted to the spot, "when a man's ways please the LORD, He makes even His enemies to be at peace with Him".
Not his sitting, but his 'ways'. I believe in not standing for what i believe in, but in MOVING for what I want, and so, I am eager to ... move, because God only shows how He stands by His word if I put Him to the test, and I am NOT interested in NOT putting Him to the test, to see just where He is, and what He wants from me. Is it ME He wants or something from me.
Guess that is what defines even my outlook as far as this woman is concerned. hell, I am as prepared to jettison her in a heartbeat if it turns out that she wants me to bow down to her or to live some kind of lie that is at odds with how i view life. NO way. So, I am NOT going to sit around and wait for her to start telling me just what kind of asshole I am and what i will be missing on.
heck, far as I stand now, I am going to leave her alive, but the rest of them, ah, well, let us say that they have never seen a fury like the one that is about to be unleashed now, because God deliberately made me decide that this WORLD is mine, and I will KEEP it, since what comes before the 'he was not, for God took him' is after 'after he had lived 65 years, enoch walked with God 300 years...', and so, I am either going to have to WALK or not have God to be 'pleased' with me. I have sat down too long. the maverick is moving out, and i am putting my neck on the block and doing what I believe in.
And anyone else's opinion really does not matter, not in changing my decision, because "its about time, shizzle mannizle/ everybody are on-line..."
poison dem mind
harden them ears
see say that the whole are dem are cursed
babylon poison dem mind...
me tell them to change them ways
straight forward
we are straight forward
forward we are go move
and we never move backward
brotherly and sisterly love
