Me, I don't give a fuck, really. Anyday, any time I am prepared to lay my life on the line, and die, even if I am wrong about stuff, because I do not care about life, and never have. This, this thing with God, is ONLY because ... He... cheated.
And made it impossible for me to die.Before I even knew about it.
Which means that I basically never saw stuff the way you do, and I do not even WANT to settle down and live life.
But this life, this is what I HAVE, and what I have is MINE, and I am NOT prepared to compromise it with or FOR anyone. Get THAT straight.
God did not DO anything to me to make me THIS person. All He did was close the one door that I was looking at, that well, was made available for me by my mother, and then, some 15 years later, He tapped me on the door, and unlocked all the memories.
So, my point with all this is, since all I am doing NOW is think and processing the visions and all that has been happening in order to just see if I left something out, it has, believe it or not, NOTHING to do with my mother, not here, not now. She affects me, like gravity, in her field, in her proximity. I KNOW that this woman thinks I am the way I am because I can not get over what my mother did to me so I need a surrogate mother. Ah, hell, open your eyes. I do NOT do windows.
I mean, I do NOT do 'transparent', OK?
I left my mother at home, and, well, so I may have carried her a bit with me, but her effect on me is something you effectively ended, when you decided that, so, is I had just been waiting here to then move on, and would you come with me, and you thought with disgust that this pathetic creature that you were taking 'pity' on could actually think so MUCH of himself that he would actually DREAM that he was even supposed to get into your panties and ... ugh... well, I will just SHOW him that he is worth nothing, and so, you did, right?
I mean, that is what all this is about, has been about, right, you, the woman who would look after me, the silly, misguided child who was hit on the head and still can not think straight, the misguided simpleton who desperately needs a guiding hand, yours, of course, just so that he can see straight and do the 'right' thing.
ha ha.
Well, we shall... see, shall we not?
So, you decided to hide behind some other guy, and well, let me show you something you should HAVE done, to make things clear, woman, to me, and put it beyond doubt.
One, you should have gotten yourself a real boyfriend.Because, see, while I am ALWAYS ready to throw in the towel, and say, fuck this, God, fuck You for bringing me into another mess, and fuck that, let me die, He, well, He is ever watchful, see, because as I sat with Vinnie after having decided to have my hair cut, and he was doing his bible assignment, and, before he even said what he was about to say, see, I just heard 'masamaria namajudha', part of a line from a song by a guy called, believe it, "mechanic" manyeruke (don't laugh, because even you guys had weird names, like 'cinderella' from 'cinders';-Grimm's fairy tales), which in totality goes, "masamaria nama judha, havambofa vakadyidzana", meaning "samaritans and jews will never eat at the same table" and straight after vinnie asked me where in the bible jesus and the samaritan woman had met. I said, without thinking, john 3, and then he looked it up, and we started arguing about it, and it was THEN that I started getting my pain fogged brain to work, and I figured out that this person I was seeing, unless God was faulty, was something other than he appeared, and so, I dug into my memory banks and so, there was the vision I had spoken of, and I started processing things, that so, well, these fools had been afraid of me, too afraid before, because of everything that was going on, and with the effects that were following, like the weather and my devil-may-care attitude, and so, would NOT openly come against me unless in isolated occasions and even then, warily, because of the fact that I was so... aggressive and so unreasonable, but they were now so ... sure... of themselves because I had shown myself weak in a certain area and I had DARED, so insignificant as I was, to mention that I thought that I, a mere ... NOTHING... could have a person, a descendant of the tribe of God's FRIEND, of the man after GOD's heart, just to add salt to the wound, could be taken by a mere beggar?
So, you decided to show me what is what, because I am NOTHING.
Oh, well, see, only problem with all that is... GOD, ABRAHAM, and all and sundry, mean absolutely NOTHING to me, and well, right now, I am ... THINKING ... of just how to punish you all for that.
And guess what, I do not even have to ... sleep... with a jew, anyway.
Did I tell you before that I absolutely HATE jews.
BECAUSE of God.
So, technically, what you were out to ... prove... well, it worked out for you.
No, I will not KILL you, no, I loved the person, and I THOUGHT the person loved me,but obviously, appearances are deceiving.
That, the love I had for the sexy woman whose looking at me melted my heart, well, that I can not erase from my memory banks.
BUT, the JEWS I hate.
Fill in the blanks about what I will DO to the jews, and then,start having nightmares, because it will be MUCH, MUCH worse than you can imagine.
Me, I do not do 'bosses'.
Which means that the FIRST and WORST mistake anyone can do is TELL me what to do, or try to DIRECT me in what to do.I will make such a person PAY.
Get it?
Now, there is a script in the bible that goes, "I dwell in deepest darkness, but with him also who is humble and contrite of heart" and that was God. Me, I am the same, and the REASON I even looked twice at you is that you, in your PERSONAL approach to me, have ALWAYS, always, always, looked up to me first to see if I was in the right mood. That is what impressed me. I do NOT have any time for anyone who thinks he or she can walk all over me, and even when you have defied me, the way you have done it has been a humble way, and THAT is 100% the reason why I extended the hand ... offer... of love, to you.Because I knew I could bear you, and no one else.
Now, if you point out to me that that person does not exist, then, well, I am free to just do as I will and never have to worry about you being hurt, right? because I saw what was NOT there, see?
Have a good life, whats left of it.
The WarLord is OUT!
And made it impossible for me to die.Before I even knew about it.
Which means that I basically never saw stuff the way you do, and I do not even WANT to settle down and live life.
But this life, this is what I HAVE, and what I have is MINE, and I am NOT prepared to compromise it with or FOR anyone. Get THAT straight.
God did not DO anything to me to make me THIS person. All He did was close the one door that I was looking at, that well, was made available for me by my mother, and then, some 15 years later, He tapped me on the door, and unlocked all the memories.
So, my point with all this is, since all I am doing NOW is think and processing the visions and all that has been happening in order to just see if I left something out, it has, believe it or not, NOTHING to do with my mother, not here, not now. She affects me, like gravity, in her field, in her proximity. I KNOW that this woman thinks I am the way I am because I can not get over what my mother did to me so I need a surrogate mother. Ah, hell, open your eyes. I do NOT do windows.
I mean, I do NOT do 'transparent', OK?
I left my mother at home, and, well, so I may have carried her a bit with me, but her effect on me is something you effectively ended, when you decided that, so, is I had just been waiting here to then move on, and would you come with me, and you thought with disgust that this pathetic creature that you were taking 'pity' on could actually think so MUCH of himself that he would actually DREAM that he was even supposed to get into your panties and ... ugh... well, I will just SHOW him that he is worth nothing, and so, you did, right?
I mean, that is what all this is about, has been about, right, you, the woman who would look after me, the silly, misguided child who was hit on the head and still can not think straight, the misguided simpleton who desperately needs a guiding hand, yours, of course, just so that he can see straight and do the 'right' thing.
ha ha.
Well, we shall... see, shall we not?
So, you decided to hide behind some other guy, and well, let me show you something you should HAVE done, to make things clear, woman, to me, and put it beyond doubt.
One, you should have gotten yourself a real boyfriend.Because, see, while I am ALWAYS ready to throw in the towel, and say, fuck this, God, fuck You for bringing me into another mess, and fuck that, let me die, He, well, He is ever watchful, see, because as I sat with Vinnie after having decided to have my hair cut, and he was doing his bible assignment, and, before he even said what he was about to say, see, I just heard 'masamaria namajudha', part of a line from a song by a guy called, believe it, "mechanic" manyeruke (don't laugh, because even you guys had weird names, like 'cinderella' from 'cinders';-Grimm's fairy tales), which in totality goes, "masamaria nama judha, havambofa vakadyidzana", meaning "samaritans and jews will never eat at the same table" and straight after vinnie asked me where in the bible jesus and the samaritan woman had met. I said, without thinking, john 3, and then he looked it up, and we started arguing about it, and it was THEN that I started getting my pain fogged brain to work, and I figured out that this person I was seeing, unless God was faulty, was something other than he appeared, and so, I dug into my memory banks and so, there was the vision I had spoken of, and I started processing things, that so, well, these fools had been afraid of me, too afraid before, because of everything that was going on, and with the effects that were following, like the weather and my devil-may-care attitude, and so, would NOT openly come against me unless in isolated occasions and even then, warily, because of the fact that I was so... aggressive and so unreasonable, but they were now so ... sure... of themselves because I had shown myself weak in a certain area and I had DARED, so insignificant as I was, to mention that I thought that I, a mere ... NOTHING... could have a person, a descendant of the tribe of God's FRIEND, of the man after GOD's heart, just to add salt to the wound, could be taken by a mere beggar?
So, you decided to show me what is what, because I am NOTHING.
Oh, well, see, only problem with all that is... GOD, ABRAHAM, and all and sundry, mean absolutely NOTHING to me, and well, right now, I am ... THINKING ... of just how to punish you all for that.
And guess what, I do not even have to ... sleep... with a jew, anyway.
Did I tell you before that I absolutely HATE jews.
BECAUSE of God.
So, technically, what you were out to ... prove... well, it worked out for you.
No, I will not KILL you, no, I loved the person, and I THOUGHT the person loved me,but obviously, appearances are deceiving.
That, the love I had for the sexy woman whose looking at me melted my heart, well, that I can not erase from my memory banks.
BUT, the JEWS I hate.
Fill in the blanks about what I will DO to the jews, and then,start having nightmares, because it will be MUCH, MUCH worse than you can imagine.
Me, I do not do 'bosses'.
Which means that the FIRST and WORST mistake anyone can do is TELL me what to do, or try to DIRECT me in what to do.I will make such a person PAY.
Get it?
Now, there is a script in the bible that goes, "I dwell in deepest darkness, but with him also who is humble and contrite of heart" and that was God. Me, I am the same, and the REASON I even looked twice at you is that you, in your PERSONAL approach to me, have ALWAYS, always, always, looked up to me first to see if I was in the right mood. That is what impressed me. I do NOT have any time for anyone who thinks he or she can walk all over me, and even when you have defied me, the way you have done it has been a humble way, and THAT is 100% the reason why I extended the hand ... offer... of love, to you.Because I knew I could bear you, and no one else.
Now, if you point out to me that that person does not exist, then, well, I am free to just do as I will and never have to worry about you being hurt, right? because I saw what was NOT there, see?
Have a good life, whats left of it.
The WarLord is OUT!
